motivation

Motivation: Type Four, the Individualist

You feel a deep, persistent longing. Sometimes it’s for another person, sometimes a place, sometimes a lifestyle, sometimes even a bygone era. When people try to describe it, they don’t even come close. Hell, you often fall short when you try to put words to it. It’s like you have a vastness inside you that’s trying to connect with the vastness outside of you but never quite reaches.

So, you try to express it through fiction, maybe a little poetry. But no one quite gets it when they read your words. You have a sneaking suspicion that even if you finally got the words right to express yourself precisely, people still wouldn’t understand.

Part of you likes that. The fear of being understood, of being comprehensible to others shakes you at an existential level. Only once your full being is understood can your full being be rejected.

And part of you hates being so different. There’s nothing lonelier than feeling like no one could ever connect with you fully.

If you didn’t like reading any of that and seeing that part of you put into words, then you’re probably an Enneagram Type 4, the Individualist. It’s not all somber news for you, though of all the types, yours would be the most okay with it if that were the case.

Welcome back to this series where we explore what motivates us and how we might build a life that works with our creative impulses rather than against them.

Today, we’re talking all about the Enneagram Four, “the Individualist.” We’re going to dive deep into what motivates someone with these core fears and desires, and how we can build a rich and abundant author life for ourselves if this is our type.

If this isn’t your type, I strongly suggest you read it anyway. Not only will it help you write strong Individualist characters, but I guarantee you have a Four close to you, and understanding them will only strengthen the relationship.

At their core, Fours’ desire is to have significance. Their fear is that they’re insignificant. The concept of significance or identity is central to what compels or repels Fours.

Indie publishing can be a perilous landscape for Fours, who are so full of this raw urge to create the beautiful and portray the ugly that accepting payment for such a natural act can feel dirty. Humans are made to create and express, so how would capitalism do anything but cheapen the experience?

“Marketability” is also considered a taboo subject by many Fours, who often believe that the confines of genre or page length or even the most basic accepted rules of grammar and punctuation are anathema to true creativity.

But this belief runs counter to that need of significance. If you want to be a significant creative force in the publishing world (or the world at large), you can’t do that if no one reads your stuff. And people will not read your stuff if it’s incomprehensible, the book cover makes no sense, the blurb is a mess, or your words do not follow the expected and accepted rules for your language of choice.

Only once you hit a certain threshold of comprehensibility can you realistically get the book into people’s hands. Yes! Your work could expand and shape hearts and minds! But only if people know about it. And for people to know about it, you must tell them. You know, marketing. It’s not a dirty word, I promise.

You can price your books at free, if that makes you feel like less of a sellout. Then, only do free marketing. Perfect. Your business is breaking even, assuming you don’t shell out for an editor and cover designer (which you really should).

Now, how are you going to eat and pay rent? A day job? Great! Go for it, if that job doesn’t make you interact with superficial and boring people who make you want to jump out of the window. You’re all set.

If that’s not the case, though, maybe consider selling your books to eventually make enough to quit your office job and devote ALL your energy to your important creative work.

When an Individualist is maxed out, that valuable tendency to find beauty in the darker corners of the world can morph into straight nihilism. Self-pity and the misunderstood artist archetype start to emerge in everyday interactions, which feeds a vicious cycle. Fours insist that nobody understands them, and in doing so, they make their misery incomprehensible to others, which makes them even more misunderstood.

Fours must watch out for this, because an Individualist who has lost the motivation to create hits a downward spiral quick, fast, and in a hurry, and it can end in some unfortunate permanent decisions. That internal furnace of creation turns into one of self-destruction, and I don’t want that for you. You don’t deserve that, no matter what the voice inside your head may say. (As a One, I swing to the lower side of Four when I’m under stress, so I’m intimately familiar with the harmful scripts that play on repeat in that emotional space.)

When I’m working with an Individualist who’s struggling with motivation, it’s usually because they don’t feel like their writing is getting the attention it deserves. They’re probably right, too. The Four’s ability to tap into the broad range of human emotion, to create beauty from the mundane and assign normality to the bizarre is a rare gift that the world needs.

But feeling like you or your work deserve more than you’re receiving is the first step toward this insidious thing called “envy,” the passion of the Four.

Envy stems from the idea that other people are getting the praise or life you deserve without having earned it, while you’re getting short changed or ripped off. It creates a fantasy version of the world where everything is stacked against you. It justifies whatever vindictive attempts you might make to ruin what others have rather than focusing on your own life and the possible legitimate reasons you don’t have what you believe you deserve.

Envy murders motivation. It says that the deck is stacked against you, so why even try? It says that your energy is better spent leveling the playing field by pulling others down instead of building yourself up. Envy is a sinking ship that will suck anyone near it to the bottom of the ocean.

Usually, when Fours come to see me in this state, the truth is that a few cosmetic tweaks may be all that stands between their book selling zero copies and it selling enough to gain serious momentum. But when we get caught in the thought pattern that the universe is against us, it’s incredibly hard to focus on the details in front of us or receive constructive feedback. Most people aren’t great at delivering criticism, either, so it’s worth paying for someone like me who has years of experience delivering honest feedback in ways creatives can take without wanting to run away.

It would be a shame to be a few superficial tweaks away from a breakthrough only to give up before you made it. So, don’t do that. Instead, keep reading.

Each of the nine types of the Enneagram has nine Levels of Development within it. Three are considered healthy, three are average, and three are unhealthy. We move through these levels at various moments of our lives, but we usually have an anchor point or baseline that’s our default. As we unlock some of the unconscious patterns associated with our type, our anchor point can move slowly upward toward healthier levels.

Below are descriptions of a Four in the three categories of development (healthy, average, unhealthy):

Healthy: A self-regenerating creative, profoundly inspired, able to see the beautiful in the mundane, introspective, sensitive, comfortable feeling the full spectrum of human emotions without identifying with them, individualistic and effortlessly unique, intuitive, highly attuned to the feelings of others.
Average: Strong sense for aesthetics, creates a heightened reality through fantasy, interiorizing of the world turns to self-absorption, prone to moodiness, withdrawn, feels they are exempt from social norms, envy of others leads to justification of self-indulgence, creates fantasized versions of friends, family, and lovers (positive or negative).

Unhealthy: Withdrawn and angry at self and others when dreams and fantasies don’t pan out, loses self in paralyzing shame, self-hatred arises, runs off those trying to help with blame and accusations, engages in self-destructive behavior, indulges in altering substances to escape reality, self-harm likely at the lowest development level.

If you’re not a Four, you’re now thinking of someone you know who is. Or maybe even a character. As you can see, Fours can make great heroes or villains in your books, depending on what development level they most often inhabit.  

Okay, so how do you use this information to motivate yourself as a writer?

The trick is simple: Remember that nobody can write the stories you have to tell but you, and those stories are important to human consciousness. When you find yourself getting hung up asking the big questions about your own significance in the grand scheme, it’s important to view that as raw motivational power. You can let it fester into negative thoughts like, “Does it even matter if I write this?” or you can remind yourself that these kinds of questions and considerations are shared by everyone, and you’re the best person to explore them because they are so central to who you are.

You were built to write stories that explore identity and our place in the world. This is your gift, and that insatiable longing you feel will never let up unless you plumb these depths. Sorry, but through creativity is your only way out from the thick of your emotions.  

Structure can also be your friend. If you feel unmotivated, it might be that you are unable to wrangle your emotions into something tangible. Give yourself constraints, be that the length of work you’re going to produce, what voice you’ll write in, what tone you’ll aim for, or what theme you’ll write to.

Have you ever told 5-year-olds to entertain themselves without any boundaries? Of course not. That’s a bad idea. They will immediately apply permanent marker to your favorite keepsakes. We give the unrefined creative energy of little kids rules and supervision, and that’s when they can most fruitfully enjoy themselves. Too many rules and restrictions will make things much less fun, but as a Four, you’re in little danger of giving yourself too many constraints. But some are needed. You must build channels for your creativity to flow through rather than flooding the entire plain.

Write stories about outcasts, oddballs, and pariahs. Write an antihero. Write from the perspective of an alien landing on a new planet. And write it all for the younger you who clung so dearly to works of art like that.

Your ability to sit with the full range of emotions without flinching is a gift you can offer through your words. People need to see the characters they like and respect run the gambit of messiness. It gives the reader permission to feel. Though you might view your flood of emotions as a weakness, I can tell you that in this stifled world, it’s an innate talent you can model for others.

Every Enneagram type has a wake-up call associated with it to tell us we’re plummeting down the development levels and it’s time to pause, take a deep breath, and reevaluate some of the premises we’re working from. For the Four, the red flag is fantasizing. This looks like clinging to a mood and creating fantasized versions of reality to support that mood.

The problem with this is that we stop seeing people and situations as they are, and that’s not fair to others or ourselves. It took me years to understand why the songs my Individualist ex-boyfriend wrote about me bothered me so much, but now I see that each one was a fantasy version of me—either idealizing or demonizing, depending on where we were in our relationship when he wrote it—but not actually me. Hearing them performed in front of our friends was a dehumanizing experience as a result. He hadn’t been seeing me at all; he’d been seeing his fantasized image of me.

And for Fours, this can leave you trapped in a fantasy that’s like watching the world through a frosted window but never getting to touch and experience it for yourself. As you can imagine, this would make anyone feel even more isolated.

I’ll admit, I’m a little jealous of the work that Fours can produce once they find that motivation and set their mind to it. It’s the kind of art that stops you in your tracks, that moves you, that creates powerful emotions even in the Enneagram types most disconnected from their emotional centers. The Four is so powerful that simply having it as your wing (wing = a type on either side of the dominant type that can be used to reinforce the aims of the dominant type) can turn a Three with a Four wing (Taylor Swift) or a Five with a Four wing (Stephen King) into a powerful creator whose art thrusts us into particular moods whether we like it or not.

It's easy to spot an Individualist writer when you read them because their work transports you, and the mood and emotions of it stick to you like a film for hours, day, or even years after. Edgar Allan Poe—the quintessential Four—writes about this, describing it as a “singular effect” that he aims for in each of his stories. Not sure what I’m talking about? Go read The Fall of the House of Usher and you’ll understand. When I started reading Interview with the Vampire by Anne Rice (a Four) a few years ago, I put the book down after the first page, said, “Okay, this is going to be that kind of book,” made myself some tea, discarded the bra, and snuggled under a heap of blankets to prepare for the moody onslaught I would thoroughly enjoy for hours on end.

Individualist artists love to play with themes of identity, too. Virginia Woolf does it brazenly in Orlando, and Prince did it in the span of his entire career. Those types of public explorations can challenge the reader or audience to analyze their own identity, which may have calcified over time, with a fresh and critical eye.

So if you’re struggling to put the words down or the words you’re writing feel aimless or like “meaningless garbage,” see if any of these unhelpful scripts are running on loop in your head:

“Is this unoriginal trash?”

“Someone’s already written this.”

“There are no original ideas left in this world.”

“I loathe writing.”

“Anyone who writes faster than I do is turning out crap.”

“If I write any faster, I’ll turn out crap like everyone else.”

“No one will ever understand my art.”

“It doesn’t make a difference to anyone if I write this or not.”

“Readers only like crap nowadays, like the stuff [bestselling author] writes.”

“Books have to fit every genre trope for anyone to read them, and I don’t write tropes.”

“Nobody reads anymore.”

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but every one of these ideas is faultier than the Texas power grid. Each of them is your ego or personal identity trying to spare itself possible injury. Your ego doesn’t care about YOU. It doesn’t care if you ever create anything meaningful. All it cares about it risk aversion. You can say, “Thank you, ego. I know you’re trying to protect me, but I have something important to share with the world.”

Drawing conscious thought to our subconscious scripts is like drawing blood to an injury to help it heal. And that’s how we begin to break these cycles that hold us prisoner so we can move to healthier development levels of our type.

It’s also how we keep ourselves motivated and connected to the work when we’re Individualists.

So, if you’re a Four who’s struggling with motivation:

  • Honestly, what else are you going to do with your life and all that longing? Express it or it’ll ferment in your gut.

  • Establish a few more rules on form or process, then let loose with content.

  • Remember that the path to feeling less isolated is communication, and the first step to communication is expression. Withholding your ideas out of fear of being misunderstood is the fastest way to keep people from being able to understand you.

  • Learn to spot envy in yourself and use that as a signal that someone has something you want. Then plan action that will move you more toward that thing, taking the power to achieve your dreams and your desired significance out of the hands of the universe, restoring it to you.

  • When you find yourself ruminating, fantasizing, or spending too much time in your own imagination, go out and engage your senses in the present. This is where you’ll find so much inspiration that not writing will feel impossible.

  • Build relationships with other authors, even if you feel like the oddball in the group. If you don’t do this, your tendency toward fantasy will fill in the gaps of what you think you know about the community, and if envy gets involved, it won’t be a positive outlook. It also won’t be real.

  • Try framing “I’m misunderstood” as “I have a unique perspective people can’t get anywhere else.” Don’t dramatize others rejecting you before you even give them a chance to love and appreciate you.  

Next week, we’ll discuss how to find your writing motivation if you’re a Type 5, the Investigator. This is the type of Stephen King, Ursula K. LeGuin, Sherlock Holmes, and Severus Snape.

Motivation: Type Two, the Helper

Ask a group of people what they think of Shel Silverstein’s book The Giving Tree, and you’re almost guaranteed to start a heated debate. Is it a sweet story of unconditional love, or is it a tragedy about how people can give until they’re all used up?

If you’re an Enneagram Type 2, the Helper, this question will hit home especially hard for you. Can you ever give or help too much? Is it shameful to feel angry after you’ve willingly given everything you had but gotten nothing in return?

These are central questions that Twos battle with their whole life, but a little Enneagram guidance can go a long way toward finding comfortable answers.

Welcome back to this series where we explore what motivates us and how we might build a life that works with our creative impulses rather than against them. To read the previous entries, go here: www.ffs.media/story-tips/category/Motivation+series

Today, we’re talking all about the Enneagram Twos, “the Helpers.” We’re going to dive deep into what motivates someone with these core fears and desires, and how we can build a nice little author life for ourselves if this is our type.

If this isn’t your type, I strongly suggest you read it anyway. Not only will it help you write strong Helper characters, but I guarantee you have a Two close to you in your life and understanding them will only strengthen the relationship.

At their core, Twos’ desire is to be loved. Their fear is that they’ll be unworthy of love. Love and service are central to this type, who can enjoy fulfilling lifelong friendships as well as plenty of one-sided relationships if they’re not careful.

The Twos I know are almost too sweet for this world. They have so much love to give that not showing it to others can be physically and emotionally painful. They’re natural nurturers, which makes them exceptional at anticipating the needs of others. But if they don’t learn a few raw truths about the nature of help vs. enabling and interdependency vs. codependency, the world around them will use them up. And as you can imagine, it’s hard to get the words down when you’re all used up.

If you’re a Two, it’s important to attach everything you do to a deeper motivation of nurturing the world, and that includes yourself.  We hear the words “self-care” thrown around in somewhat obnoxious ways all the time, but it’s a necessary ritual for Twos to build into their daily routine. I’m not talking bubble baths and manicures (though feel free to treat yourself to those, too). I’m talking about protecting your writing time like a mother dog defends her pups. I’m talking about learning to ask for and accept help. While caring for others comes naturally for a Two, these forms of self-care generally do not.

Twos: You must learn to protect your flow of love! It’s a bright and bubbling font that attracts all kinds of creepy crawlers of the human species. It may feel rewarding to provide that nurturing at first, and you may even convince yourself that by drinking from your well, those creepy crawlers will be transformed into adorable little forest creatures. Unfortunately, that’s not the case.  

When I’m working with a Helper who is struggling with motivation, it’s usually because this exchange of energy is off. If you’re a Two who sits by yourself all day, you may need to work more social time into your schedule so you can expend some of the nurturing energy that’s building up inside you. But more likely, your day consists of too many people with endless needs, and you’ve left nothing for yourself and your art. This is a tragedy, and obviously I won’t tolerate it. I care about you too much, Two.

Each of the nine types of the Enneagram has nine Levels of Development within it. Three are considered healthy, three are average, and three are unhealthy. We move through these levels at various moments of our lives, but we usually have an anchor point or baseline that’s our default. As we unlock some of the unconscious patterns associated with our type, our anchor point can move slowly upward toward healthier levels.

Below are descriptions of a Two in the three categories of development (healthy, average, unhealthy):

Healthy: Feels unconditional love for others and self, is empathetic, attuned to the needs of others and gives what is needed rather than whatever will win approval, maintains clear boundaries and is able to accept help, flourishes in interdependent relationships
Average: Gives to ingratiate or people please, forces help upon others, becomes possessive of those who have received the help, acts self-important based on ability to give

Unhealthy: Relies on forced reciprocation to manipulate others, feels entitled after giving, refuses help from others then plays the martyr, feels perpetually victimized, acts helpless to force others into codependency

If you’re not a Two, you’re now thinking of someone you know who is. Or maybe even a character. As you can see, Twos can make great heroes or villains in your books, depending on what development level they most often inhabit.

Okay, so how do you use this information to motivate yourself as a writer?

The trick is simple: You need to be writing books that provide nurturance for your readers. Twos often end up writing romance for this reason. The promise of an HEA gives readers who need some TLC a safe place to find it.

Write stories that heal others while you heal yourself. Write stories where the conflict is resolved through your protagonist’s self-love. Show your readers, through the art of fiction, how we can build healthy relationships where love flows equally both ways and leave toxic relationships that take more than they give. Inspire others to love themselves the same way they love the world. You are a healer and nurturer by nature. Write stories that serve your soul, and those stories will serve the souls of your readers as well.

To a certain extent, American/Western culture expects all women to behave like Twos—selflessly giving and not asking for anything in return, yet somehow lasting in this way for decades and decades—mothers especially. And because these average and unhealthy traits of a Two are rewarded (by not being actively punished), Helpers can easily fall into that unhealthy trap.

Other types will usually reach a point where they say, “Yeah, this just ain’t me,” and default to their particular core motivations instead, but the Two is left behind, accepting the crumbs social rewards and avoiding punishment by being their unhealthy self. What a shitty situation to be in!

Twos who struggle to express their needs, or have done so in the past only to be met with indifference and neglect, can fall into what’s called the Drama Triangle. This includes three roles that a person rotates through: rescuer, martyr, persecutor.

In Twos, it starts like this: their genuine desire to help and care for others becomes an overexaggerated ego need that expresses itself in such a way that the Helper takes on the role of “rescuer.”

From time to time, most adults benefit from help, but not necessarily rescuing. Rescuing a person establishes a relationship dynamic where one person gives, and the other receives, but not in anything close to equal measure.

Once the Helper’s resources for rescuing are tapped out, they realize the situation is lopsided. Their stores are exhausted. They’ve given all their love to someone and left none for helping themselves. And then—gasp—in their time of need, no one is around to rescue them! (Twos’ pride usually means they show no obvious symptoms of needing help and therefore expect people to just know.) This leads to the next stage of the Drama Triangle as the rescuer becomes the martyr.

There’s a certain satisfaction to being a martyr. It shows that you have more love to give than others, and in the eyes of a Two, this might make you feel a pop of superiority. But that dries up quickly, and when your rescuer still hasn’t arrived, the third part of the Drama Triangle goes into effect, and the martyr becomes the persecutor. How dare no one else give until they drop over dead! How dare people not do for you what you did for others.

This is obviously not a healthy way to live, and to be fair, most Twos only experience mild versions of it. But none of it is good, and all of it is a missed opportunity for growth and development of healthy boundaries.

Every type has a wake-up call associated with it to tell us we’re plummeting down the development levels and it’s time to pause, take a deep breath, and reevaluate some of the premises we’re working from. For the Two, the red flag is people pleasing. This is the point at which the Helper switches from giving the help that she is 1) able to give without over-giving and 2) is the amount needed by the recipient, and instead she begins giving based upon what will ingratiate her to those she’s giving to.

For example, maybe your friend needs $10 to cover a cab, and you give them $50 instead. It’s important for Twos to ask why precisely they threw in the extra $40. Because the recipient is wondering the same thing. What are they expected to do in return?

This creates a strange dynamic called “forced reciprocation.” It leaves the recipient on edge because humans have evolved with a sense of reciprocation (it’s what keeps us a social species), and we have a primal reaction to someone doing something for us: we want to return the favor and in equal or greater measure.

So, when a Two gives more than what the recipient genuinely needs, they’re putting them in a power-down position, socially speaking. The recipient will feel indebted to the Two, which is the groundwork for codependency (unhealthy attachment) rather than interdependency (a healthy and free flow of love and energy).

Combating these less than desirable patterns starts with a single word: no.

“Yes” comes naturally to a Helper, but saying “I won’t” before having to admit “I can’t” is called boundaries, and it’s a developed skill.

Writing a book is a long process. There are weeks, months, or years between when we write the first word and when others see our product and can benefit from it in the way we intended.

This means that those quick-fixes our brain often craves—instant gratification for our core desires and numbing to soothe our core fear—are not always baked into the book writing process. (If we’re smart about it and self-aware, though, we can build those in.)

So, if you’re a Two, you may know in your heart that your book will provide the nurturance to your readers that you hope for, but between the first word and hitting publish, what are you supposed to do, hold all your love inside?

No way. Especially when there are all kinds of people you can help on a daily basis! Woohoo!

So, you wake up at 6am to pack lunches for your kids and have breakfast ready for them. Then, it’s time to sit and write for two hours.

But then your wife overslept and can’t find her keys and the printer isn’t working but she needs to print out something before she can go to the big meeting at work in half an hour! Helper to the rescue!

Finally, you sit down with an hour and fifteen minutes left in your writing time. Better than nothing. But your sister just texted you saying that she had a big fight with her husband last night. Poor thing. You give her a call. When that’s done, you sit down to write and only have fifteen minutes left.

Well, shoot. That’s hardly any time at all before you head over to the women’s prison to volunteer. Probably better to leave 15 minutes early in case you hit traffic.

Suddenly, no writing.

Is this a familiar story?

I would never tell a Two not to care for the people they love. But when giving becomes a matter of instant gratification for our core desire (to be loved) and a balm for our core fear (to be unlovable), then it rules our schedule and kills our ability to create projects that require time before the payoff.

Don’t come at me with pitchforks, but maybe your kids can order lunch at school. Maybe they can fix their own breakfast. Your wife got herself into this mess and she’s a grown-up. Let her fix it for herself (she’ll feel better about having done it solo). And while your sister might need a shoulder to cry on, she can wait until you have available time, or she can speak with a therapist. None of those options makes you selfish or unloving. It’s normal boundary setting. People may (will) respond poorly at first as you break the pattern, but if they genuinely love you, they’ll adjust, and you’re helping them in the end by asking them to solve their own minor problems. 

There’s really nothing like watching a Two who’s developed their gifts of love and caring express all of that through their creativity. Dolly Parton is an example of this. She made a name through the soulful songs that could only be created by someone with the ability to feel love so truly and deeply. As a result, she’s amassed enough financial resources to have plenty to give without 1) leaving nothing for herself or 2) expecting others to reciprocate. The people she has in her life love her fiercely and freely because of the love she’s given without expectation of receiving.

Same for Stevie Wonder, another Two. As far as fictional characters go, you have the loyal servant Samwise Gamgee, whose love for his friend Frodo inspires love back (okay, shippers, I see you). And then you have Molly Weasley, whose love for her many children takes all sort of shapes, from knitting them every article of clothing they own to uttering the only instance of “you bitch” in the entire series. The love of the Two can be fierce when it needs to be.

Helpers may be sweet, but they are not weak. The opposite, in fact. They’re strong enough to love in a world that doesn’t always show them love back. They’ll fight for love. When they’re healthy, they’ll be the shoulder to cry on in the hard times and the stalwart defender of those who cannot defend themselves.

There’s that now famous quote from the late Fred Rogers. We’ve all heard it, but it’s worth reading again in the context of this discussion:

“When I was a boy and I would see scary things in the news, my mother would say to me, ‘Look for the helpers. You will always find people who are helping.’ To this day, especially in times of ‘disaster,’ I remember my mother’s words, and I am always comforted by realizing that there are still so many helpers — so many caring people in this world.”

Helpers, you restore our faith in humanity. You are the heart of humankind.

So if you’re struggling to put the words down or market your book, see if any of these scripts are running on loop in your head:

“I should be helping [whoever], not selfishly writing a book.”

“No one wanted my last book, so why bother with this one?”

“This is the book where everyone is going to read it and stop loving me.”

“My family needs me more.”

“I shouldn’t need a break.”

“If I stopped writing, no one would care.”

“I haven’t earned my writing time.”

“I can write after I’ve completed X,Y,Z.”

“I’ll write once [whoever] is in a better situation and doesn’t need my assistance.”

“How can I write when there’s so much pain in the world and no one’s doing anything about it?”

Creativity is a human requirement like exercise or a healthy diet. If you’ve chosen writing as your passion (or it’s chosen you), then it is not selfish to meet your basic human need. It is also not selfish to meet it before you meet the needs of others. After all, the only person who can meet your creative needs is you.

Drawing conscious thought to our subconscious scripts is like drawing blood to an injury to help it heal. And that’s how we begin to break these cycles that hold us prisoner so we can move to healthier development levels of our type.

It’s also how we keep ourselves motivated when we’re Helpers.

So, if you’re a Two who’s struggling with motivation:

  • Remember what your purpose for writing is and the caring world you want to create for your reader.  

  • Find ways to connect with readers frequently (daily, even) throughout the writing process so you don’t have to wait months for any meaningful gratification.

  • Express your needs to readers. They care about you more than you know, and you probably have a lot of Twos who would benefit from seeing that modeled.

  • Learn to recognize when a relationship has fallen into a pattern of you giving more than you’re receiving and address it. (Maybe they’ll leave, or maybe they’ll change their behavior. Their response is outside of your control but standing up for yourself is not.)

  • If you start to feel like a martyr, ask yourself who you’re trying to rescue and whether you’ve been helping or enabling, then set aside time ASAP to care for your own needs.

  • Build relationships with other authors who will support you when it comes time to set and enforce difficult boundaries around your writing time.

  • Schedule frequent time for self-care like exercise and sports, journaling, psychotherapy, preparing healthy meals for yourself, naps, and time with competent friends who make you feel unconditionally loved.

Next week, we’ll discuss how to find you writing motivation if you’re a Type 3, the Achiever. This is the type of Taylor Swift, Oprah, Odysseus, and Jay Gatsby.

I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on this type. Maybe you just realized this describes you and you feel slightly attacked but equally seen. Maybe your spouse or parent or sibling is a Two and suddenly everything makes sense. I live for these insights, so send them my way. And if you have remaining questions, I’ll take those, too.

Motivation: Type One, the Reformer

There’s the syndrome that one out of every nine people, myself included, suffers from. It’s called Fuck It, I’ll Do It Myself, or FIIDIM. There’s a lesser version of it called Screw it, I’ll Do It Myself (SIIDIM), but the people I’ve met who suffer from it usually experience the more severe form.

Symptoms of FIIDIM include an overactive sense of personal obligation, perfectionism, acute judgement of self and others, headaches, resentment, and exhaustion.

This is not a real syndrome, obviously, but if you’re an Enneagram One, the Reformer, then you might have read all that with wide eyes as you realized someone had finally diagnosed you properly.

Welcome back to this series where we explore what motivates us and how we might build a life that works with our creative impulses rather than against them. To read the previous entries, go here: www.ffs.media/story-tips/category/Motivation+series

Today, we’re talking all about the Enneagram Ones, “the Reformers.” We’re going to dive deep into what motivates someone with these core fears and desires, and how we can build a nice little author life for ourselves if this is our type.

If this isn’t your type, I strongly suggest you read it anyway. Not only will it help you write strong Reformer characters, but I guarantee you have a One close to you in your life and understanding them will only strengthen the relationship.

At their core, Ones’ desire is to be good and moral and balanced. Their fear is that they’ll be bad or corrupt or imbalanced. Fairness is also important to this type, which connects back to the need for balance and righteousness and extends to a deep dedication to justice of all types.

I’ve noticed that when people first identify their type, they usually feel like it’s the worst one to have, but after doing some of the inner work on it, they begin to feel like it’s the best one to have as they realize what gifts they bring to the world. (Not to be a killjoy, but all types are equally important for a healthy world.)

Ones are frequently stereotyped as neat freaks, but I can say from personal experiencing of being a One that this is not necessarily true. I like when everything is organized, but my need to maintain order and improve things is focused on bigger issues than my desk or how the dishwasher is loaded. So, sometimes messier Ones are mistyped.

If you’re a One, it’s important to attach everything you do to a deeper motivation of making the world around you a better place. That’s what we do. It’s why we’re called the Reformers. Our ability to find the flaws and injustices of the world is our strength (even if it makes us feel like we’re taking crazy pills from time to time), and our ability to envision ways forward toward something more just, equitable, and good is the gift we can share with the world.

That is, of course, when we’re at our best.

Each of the nine types of the Enneagram has nine Levels of Development within it. Three are considered healthy, three are average, and three are unhealthy. We move through these levels at various moments of our lives, but we usually have an anchor point or baseline that’s our default. As we unlock some of the unconscious patterns associated with our type, our anchor point can move slowly upward toward healthier levels.

Most people, when beginning their Enneagram work, start at a low-average level of development (Level 5 or 6, where 1 is healthy and 9 is destructively unhealthy). We’ll occasionally dip into the unhealthy levels, and that’s usually ugly for everyone involved. We’ll also experience healthy moments of our type now and again, but more out of luck of circumstances than any conscious effort.

Below are descriptions of a One in the three categories of development (healthy, average, unhealthy):

Healthy: Possesses deep wisdom, conducts oneself with integrity, works toward building a better world, stands up for what they believe in despite the personal cost, inspires others to be more merciful and less judgmental, treats self with mercy and acceptance.
Average: Striving hard worker, self-controlled but often rigid, critical and judgmental of self and others, functions on basis of personal obligation.

Unhealthy: Self-righteous and condemning, obsessive, hypocritical with incoherent moral beliefs, a sense of entitlement to punish others, downright merciless.

If you’re not a One, you’re now thinking of someone you know who is. Or maybe even a character. As you can see, Ones can make great heroes or villains in your books, depending on what development level they most often inhabit.

Okay, so how do you use this information to motivate yourself as a writer?

The trick is simple: You need to be writing books that you believe will make the world a better place by existing and attracting readers. Writing to trend in some genre you don’t care about with stock characters that go through the motions will not be enough to get you out of your warm bed in the morning.

Write stories that activate those healthy parts of yourself. Write stories that require characters to stand up for what they believe in. Show your readers, through the art of fiction, how we can fix the things that are broken in the world, in others, and in ourselves. Inspire others to love themselves, imperfections and all. You are a fixer and healer by nature. Use it for good, not evil.

When you start to feel less motivated, it’s usually because you’ve lost sight of the purpose and importance of the work you’re creating. You might start thinking, Nothing in the world would change if I never published another book, so why bother?

Exactly! Nothing will change, and the way things are isn’t working. But your voice, your stories, can push the world toward something better. You can’t do it all on your own, but you can do a part of it. That’s all you need to do because 1/9th of the population is a Reformer like you, so you’re not in this alone.  

I have a sticky note on my computer that says, “What the fuck else are you going to do with your LIFE?!” In typical One fashion, I approach myself with a little tough love and pitch-black humor, but the message reminds me of my sense of purpose, and that’s why it’s there where I see it every day.

As a Reformer, I write stories to change hearts and minds. Life is short, and I want to make a positive impact, and this is the best way I’ve found to do it using my talents. The positive emails from readers only confirm that I’m on the right track. But speaking unpopular truths and criticizing the status quo isn’t without its punishments (and one-star reviews), and when those happen, I need the reminder: What the fuck else would you do with your life, Claire? I can’t come up with a more worthy way to spend my years, and so I get back to work.

Pay attention to where your mind goes when you’re writing. Are you having trouble getting to the next scene because you’ve slipped into harsh self-judgment? Are you working on projects because you feel like you should or because you’re passionate about them?

Every type has a wake-up call associated with it to tell us we’re plummeting down the development levels and it’s time to pause, take a deep breath, and reevaluate some of the premises we’re working from. For the One, the red flag is personal obligation. This is that FIIDIM syndrome I mentioned, and the reason we need to watch out for it is because personal obligation invalidates our desire for boundaries around our energy. And when boundaries are ignored or infringed upon, resentment seeps in. Over time, it becomes the water we swim in.

Resentment is something Ones really need to watch out for. It’s our trap. It sends us plummeting into those unhealthy levels at breakneck speed if we’re not careful, and once you’re there, you’re not going to be able to write anything your healthy self would be proud of, if you can even get yourself to put down words at all.

Combating this starts with not agreeing to things that don’t move you deeply and engage your higher self just because you think they need to get done. There is so much good you could do in every corner of the world and in every relationship you have. Don’t be afraid to narrow it down and put your energy toward the things that matter to you most.

There’s really nothing like watching a One who’s developed their gifts of wisdom and discretion and mercy pick up a cause and champion it. Nelson Mandela is an example of this. So is Elizabeth Warren. As far as fictional characters go, you have Bruce Wayne and Hermione Granger. Batman fights corruption (especially this new version, which Ones should definitely check out), and Hermione fights for house elf rights (and constantly follows her conscience in tricky matters of the wizarding world).

You might think that Ones aren’t a lot of fun to be around or that they’re necessarily overly serious killjoys, but that’s not the case. When we’re around our close friends, we tend to resemble the fun-loving Seven, and there are plenty of famous comedians who are Reformers, like Jerry Seinfeld, Tina Fey, and Bo Burnham. We just do fun and comedy our own way. But everyone can rest assured that when a One is having fun, it’s harmless fun, because they’ve already put it through extensive moral vetting.

Laughter is also an essential part of a healthy One. You’ll never stop noticing the flaws in yourself and others, sorry. It just ain’t in the cards for you. But if you learn to laugh at your own flaws and the foibles of mankind, you’ll do yourself (and your nervous system) a huge favor.

 I figure I’ll end each of these emails with some subconscious scripts that might trip up people of this type and sap our motivation if left unchecked and unquestioned. If you’re struggling to put the words down or market your book, see if any of these are running on loop in your head:

“Nobody cares if I publish this or not.”

“Why am I writing made-up stories when there are so many problems in the world that need fixing?”

“This book is garbage and I’m just going to embarrass myself.”

“I can believe I agreed to this project. How dare someone ask this much of me.”

“I can’t move onto the next scene until this one is fixed/perfect.”

“Nothing I do is going to make any difference in this screwed up world anyway.”

All of these statements are false. You may not believe me, but try entertaining the idea for a while and see how your life would feel if you stopped thinking these things. (Spoiler: much lighter and more joyful.)

Your inner critic is trying to protect you from your worst nightmare of being bad or corrupt, but it’s going about it in the least helpful way possible. Try summoning these negative thoughts to the forefront and saying, “Thank you for trying to protect me, but I don’t need that belief anymore.”

Drawing conscious thought to our subconscious scripts is like drawing blood to an injury to help it heal. And that’s how we begin to break these cycles that hold us prisoner so we can move to healthier development levels of our type.

It’s also how we keep ourselves motivated when we’re Reformers. Out with the critical, in with the purpose-driven.

So, if you’re a One who’s struggling with motivation:

  • Remember what your purpose for writing is and what you want to change for the better in this world.

  • Get your karate hands up when you realize you’re functioning with a sense of personal obligation rather than passion, and either drop that project like it’s hot or find a way it can support your goals of making the world a better place.

  • Watch out when you become overly critical of others. It causes you to be equally critical of yourself, and that is detrimental to creative work.

  • Learn to laugh at yourself. The hardest belly laughs I ever experience are at my own expense.

  • If you find yourself telling lots of stories that paint you as the hero, it might mean that you’re feeling more like a villain and need to stop and reassess. Great insight can be found in those moments that you can stitch into your current book.

  • Build relationships with other people who share your passion for causes so you remember you don’t have to do it all on your own.

  • Schedule frequent time for rest. You’re an intense person and when you commit yourself to something, you go hard. You can’t do that forever. Rest is an essential part of your work if you want it to continue long term.

Next week, we’ll discuss how to find you writing motivation if you’re a Type 2, the Helper. This is the type of Dolly Parton, Bishop Desmond Tutu, Samwise Gamgee, and Molly Weasley.

I would absolutely love to hear your thoughts on this type. Maybe you just realized this describes you and you feel slightly attacked but equally seen. Maybe your spouse or parent or sibling is a One and suddenly everything makes sense. I live for these insights, so send them my way. And if you have remaining questions, I’ll take those, too.

Motivation: The Nine Types

What was the last thing you had on your to-do list that you just couldn’t get yourself to do no matter what? Was it writing an email to your list? Scheduling social media posts? Setting up Amazon ads? Revising the next scene?

We all experience that. An item keeps getting pushed back and back and back. It can become baffling, but the cause is usually the same. We’re not discriminating enough about what we let on our to-do list. It becomes a “should do” list. We hear about something authors should do and so we add it to the list without a second thought about whether it’s right for us or we’re excited to do it.

Then it sits on our list, collecting cobwebs and haunting us, adding to the feeling that we’re always a thousand tasks behind.

Why are some tasks so much harder for us to do than others?

Rarely is it the case that we don’t want to be writers anymore, that the love it gone, that if only we wanted to be writers badly enough we would launch into some sort of high-activity frenzy in pursuit of our dreams. Leave that kind of obsession to Stephen King protagonists, frankly.

One reason why we struggle with our to-do list is that we’re not internally motivated to do the tasks. They don’t stoke our core desire or trigger our core fear enough for us to find them engaging at all.

This means that unless you can connect the items to your core motivation or create external motivators (the old stick and carrot, remember?), they’re either never getting done, or when you do them, the most emotional satisfaction you can hope to get will come solely from that power-drunk feeling of ticking boxes.

So, how do we know what our core fear and core desire are, so we can pander to them  bully them into submission work with them rather than against them?

Welcome back to this series where we explore what motivates us and how we might build a life that works with our creative impulses rather than against them. To read the previous entries, go here: www.ffs.media/story-tips/category/Motivation+series

The Enneagram is a motivation framework that dates back in various forms for hundreds of years. Some people claim there are traces of it from thousands of years ago, but I don’t personally have enough evidence to support that, and I don’t think it matters. What does matter is that it’s a psychological tool that helps us understand the driving forces that make people do what they do.

But most importantly, it’s a language system that helps us understand why we do what we do. You’ll see a lot of familiar psychological terms in it like fear, desire, liberation, stress, growth, fixation, sense of self, and so forth. It’s not reinventing anything, just cataloging and organizing what we already know about psychological patterns associated with each core motivation.

Personal improvement has always been a focus of mine. I was a severe perfectionist in my younger years, and to those who would tell me “perfection isn’t realistic” or (since I’m in Texas) “Only Jesus is perfect,” I would simply think, Sounds like you’re not trying hard enough.

As you probably guessed, I was miserable for most of my life. I developed chronic acid reflux by age 17. When I wasn’t driving myself too hard, I could be found telling myself how bad of a person I was, or simply going through the motions of the straight-A student while secretly longing to be committed to a mental institution so I had a valid excuse to rest.

And I didn’t understand any of it. I thought that this was what life was like for everyone, which left me baffled as to how people could act indifferent toward things I cared so much about.

Maybe this sounds familiar. All I’m describing here is the state of being trapped so totally in unconscious patterns that it’s impossible to imagine any other way of being.

“This isn’t working for me, but I have no idea how else to be.” It’s a common refrain. We all hit these walls throughout our life.

I tried journaling and therapy, and that helped some, but ultimately what helped me hack my way through my limiting belief patterns (after finally seeing them for the first time) was learning about the Enneagram.

The word motivation comes from the Late Latin word movere which means “to move.” It’s how you move things. It’s motion. How do you get yourself from the comfort of your bed each morning into motion? What moves you to the computer to get those words done? That’s the question we’re asking here.

It’s simple: either a fear or a desire causes us to move. Those are the two options. Maybe you’re afraid of running out of money if you don’t publish your next book on time. Maybe you’re fueled by the desire to find yourself on stage in front of thousands of people someday, discussing your latest release. Maybe the dog is whining for food, and you want nothing more than to shut them up (just for example, say). These are all valid reasons to get out of bed.

Sometimes, though, they run thin.

Figuring out which fear and which desire are most near and dear to your heart is the trick.

The Enneagram includes 9 types of these “core motivations.”

“Only 9 types?” Yes. Everything can be reduced to these nine. Wait until you read about them before protesting.

According to the Riso-Hudson (RHETI) model, the Enneagram types are:

One, the Reformer

Two, the Helper

Three, the Achiever

Four, the Individualist

Five, the Investigator

Six, the Loyalist

Seven, the Enthusiast

Eight, the Challenger

Nine, the Peacemaker

Each type has a core fear and core desire that are essentially two side of the same coin. For instance, the Investigator’s core fear is to be incompetent, and their core desire is to be competent or self-sufficient. I’ve found it useful for those getting familiar with this to boil the motivation down to a central concern for each type. It’s a smaller portion to bite into. In the case of the Investigator, the central concern would simply be “competency.”

Below are the types with their central concerns. The added words in parentheses can be helpful to triangulate the concept.

One, the Reformer

Central concern: Goodness (or Integrity, Morality)

Two, the Helper

Central concern: Love (or Help, Worth)

Three, the Achiever

Central concern: Value (or Worthiness, Success)

Four, the Individualist

Central concern: Significance (or Identity)

Five, the Investigator

Central concern: Competence (or Self-sufficiency, Resourcefulness)

Six, the Loyalist

Central concern: Support (or Security, Loyalty)

Seven, the Enthusiast

Central concern: Satisfaction (or Pleasure/Pain)

Eight, the Challenger

Central concern: Power (or Protection, Autonomy)

Nine, the Peacemaker

Central concern: Connection (or Peace, Harmony)

This doesn’t mean that only Sevens want satisfaction. All types like feeling satisfied, just as all types dislike being denied satisfaction or trapped in a state of deprivation. And it doesn’t mean that Sevens only want satisfaction and don’t care about anything else. But when given the choice between an opportunity to be satisfied and anything else, the Seven will consciously or subconsciously choose satisfaction.

Don’t worry if this seems oversimplified because this is a 101-level use of the Enneagram. The framework can become as complex as you let it. But we’re not going there yet.

The discovery I made that changed the trajectory of my life was that I was a One, the Reformer. Have been my whole life (our type is a birth-to-death thing).

My problematic patterns were a result of my central concern of Goodness. I was afraid of being bad or corrupt, and the messages I received early in my life (who knows where, precisely, but they were lodged in there) were that to be a good person, I had to be a perfect person. There was no reward in my mind for being good, doing the right thing, acting with integrity. It was the standard. Meanwhile, every so-called imperfection was points off. When I received a 99 on a test, all I saw was the point off. I’d failed to achieve perfection, in that case. I was bad.

And now? I let that go. Sure, I sometimes feel the twinge, but it’s a conscious impulse now, so I can see it for what it is. By noticing this pattern over and over again, I’ve unraveled it. Now, I understand that I don’t have to be perfect to be perfectly constructed for some bigger purpose. That may sound obvious, but to a Reformer prior to her Enneagram journey, it’s anything but.

These are the types of forehead slapper moments of liberation that come from learning about our Enneagram type. Before, I didn’t see a way out of feeling the way I felt. Now, I not only feel better, but I know what it looks like for someone like me to be emotionally healthy. I can see the next step toward a purposeful and empowered life for me. When things start to feel off and wrong and miserable, I can take a step back, identify the problem using the framework, and adjust accordingly.

Over the next nine weeks, I’m going to break down each of the Enneagram types for you and talk about how each kind can design and align a career using that inner core motivation. The more we tap into that, the easier everything becomes, including but not limited to your writing and marketing.

I encourage you to read and learn about every type, even if you already know which one is yours. While this is a tool for self-discovery, I’ve also found it to be a great resource for understanding your relationships (and their naturally arising conflicts) with other types.

Learning all nine types will help you make sense of your co-writers, your readers, your characters, your marriage, your parents, your enemies, and the woman having a meltdown at the grocery store. That small bit of understanding can make the difference between reacting on impulse or responding thoughtfully and in terms the other person understands.

Next week, we’ll start with how to find you writing motivation if you’re a Type 1, the Reformer. This is my type, but it’s also the type of Nelson Mandela, Tiny Fey, Atticus Finch, Hermione Granger, and Osama bin Laden. (Gotta take the bad with the good.)

If you don’t want to miss any installments of this series on motivation, be sure to whitelist contact@ffs.media by adding me as a contact. And if you know of someone who might enjoy this series (alternate motive: you’ll have someone to discuss it with), they can sign up to my list and skip the onboarding sequence by going to www.ffs.media/readnow

If you want to find your Enneagram type now, the best way to start is to take a test and then read about your top three or four scores to see which one feels the most accurate. The test at www.enneagraminstitute.com is my favorite, but it does cost $12 (I get no kickbacks from your purchase). That’s not nothing, but it’s cheaper than therapy.