I received a great question from an author this week: Does gender influence Enneagram type?
This is important to consider, as you'll probably write male, female, and non-binary versions of various types over the course of your long career.
The short answer is: yes, gender expectations influence Enneagram type expressions.
That is, what the society we grow up in thinks and expresses boys/men are allowed to do vs. what girls/women are allowed to do.
(Our society still doesn't have clearly expressed expectations for NB people other than, "Pick a side," which any NB people reading this know is a whole other thing to contend with.)
The same goes for racial expectations and any other projected "people like this should act this way" bullshit you can think of.
Here are a few ways the gender-specific expectations can play out in the Enneagram:
-Male 2s (the Helpers) are often mistyped. This is because they've learned that their natural expressions of their core fear (to be unloved) and desire (to be worthy of love) are considered "feminine." Boys are objectively not raised with the same pressure to "be nice" and to take personal responsibility for the emotions of everyone around them like little girls are, because those behaviors have the word "feminine" attached to them.
So, when these naturally helpful and caring little boys show that, they eventually hit a wall among the adults and peers around them that discourages them from expressing those natural traits.
-Bold women are often mistyped as 8s (the Challengers). This is a result of the same unfair sexism and misogyny that results in male 2s being mistyped (yes, misogyny hurts men, too), but resulting from different artifacts. As we're all seeing in big ways these last few years, the systems we've established in the Western world were not designed specifically (or at all) with the lives of women in mind. By and large, women are supposed to be happy if they have a single seat at the table rather than look around and question, "Why the hell is everyone else a man?"
When everyday life sets out more challenges for you, just by taking them on out of necessity, you'll start to look like a Challenger. That doesn't mean you're a type 8, though. It just means you're trying to get your work done while the kids are out of school and also plan what's for dinner and then tolerate "locker room talk" in professional environments, and when you do find time to go to the grocery store, you have to consider if what you're wearing is going to draw unwanted attention and then remain hyper-vigilant as you walk to your car to make sure no one is following you. And when you get sick of it and speak out? CHALLENGER.
As a 1 whose desire to fix things is focused on these injustices and who has enough secure attachments in my life to speak out about it without giving a fuck, this mistype is all but guaranteed for me when I take an online Enneagram test.
And of course, when you add race into it, you find that almost every black woman, who's had to take on even more challenges in society, is in danger of being mistyped as an 8. (The Enneagram Institute's examples of type 8s contains a disproportionate amount of famous black women, for instance.) That’s not to say there are no type 8 black women (of course there are), just that typing them as that without close examination of the facts can be used as a way of dismissing their real-life challenges as a personality quirk rather than an expression of legitimate systemic issues.
-Male 7s (the Enthusiasts) are often given more grace than female 7s. When the 7's tendency to flake out or joke around kicks in, you can probably imagine who's going to get more grief for it. We've all heard the tired argument about how men "aren't made for monogamy" and you shouldn't try to tie them down. Not to say every 7 have an avoidant attachment style, but when they do, it's usually tolerated, if not excused with unsubstantiated pseudo-science explanations about the role of testosterone.
If a woman just wants a little freedom to explore her life and not be tied down, though? Oh, she's broken. Sevens also tended to be the class clowns in school. Think about how boys were treated for messing around versus how the girls were treated? Who faced harsher consequences?
The result is that I encounter a lot of type 7 men who have never faced real consequences for the unhealthy expressions of their type and a lot of type 7 women who believe there's something broken with them and are searching for an explanation or at least a diagnosis.
-Male 6s (the Loyalists) are only allowed to be counter-phobic, even if they're phobic. When you think about the lauded men in American history, how many can you think of who are revered for saying, "I don't know if this is a good idea, guys"? Caution is not usually labeled a "masculine" trait. But rushing recklessly into a dangerous situation before you're ready? That's called "courage" which is most definitely an expectation of a "good man."
Sixes' core motivation is about support and security, and they're the most in touch with the underlying emotion of fear that rules the 5-6-7 triad. Being aware of possible threats to you social and physical security all the time is exhausting, though, and the handling of that exhaustion breaks down into avoidance of the danger (phobic) and confrontation of the fear (counter-phobic). One approach is not better than the other, as both can be expressed in healthy and unhealthy ways. But only one is seen as manly by the masses.
So, if you're a phobic 6 and male, you've probably faced disrespect or even been labeled cowardly by those who've chosen to adhere to and enforce sexist ideas about what's masculine and what's feminine. The only silver lining is that at least when you speak up about your concerns, you're probably listened to. Phobic female 6s are often subject to the Cassandra effect.
There are examples of this for every type's expression, and as a writer of realistic and complex characters, it's important that you consider not only the Enneagram type, but also how the world around your character allows and encourages them to express the core fear and core desire without social punishment. Maybe in your story, women are given higher status than men. No problem, but think about how that changes each type's expression of their core motivations. Maybe your story world doesn't have a long history of racial discrimination, so that doesn't affect the characters. Cool! ... but did you still accidentally write all your black characters as Challengers... or Helpers? (No judgment from me on this, because everyone has a lot to unpack in this department, but we do need to watch out for these unconscious biases to write the best stories we can.)
If the fact that I've brought gender and race into this email leaves you unsettled or feeling unexplained aggression toward me, before you send me that email reply, I encourage you to ask yourself what about your core fear I've triggered.
That's what this Enneagram thing is all about—learning to respond thoughtfully rather than react. Yes, it helps us write stronger characters, but it also helps us live with reality as it is, not as we wish it would be. And the reality is that we are treated differently by society at large because of race, gender, and so many more superficial things. If you don't take those into consideration when writing your stories, learning the Enneagram ain't gonna be enough to save your books.