Episode 42: What if I don't feel safe?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If? For Authors, Claire tackles one of the most quietly powerful questions lurking beneath so many of our writing blocks: What if I don’t feel safe?

Safety isn’t just about locked doors and quiet neighborhoods. It shows up in four key forms:

• Physical safety (Is your body secure — and does it know it’s secure?)

• Emotional safety (Can you express your true feelings with yourself and others without fear of rejection or judgment?)

• Intellectual safety (Do you feel free to say “I don’t know,” stay curious, and risk being wrong?)

• Spiritual safety (Are you able to explore beliefs, questions, and doubts without being cast out or silenced — by others or by yourself?)

Claire explores how lacking safety in any of these areas can quietly suffocate creativity, lead to writer’s block, and keep us from fully connecting to the stories we want to tell. She also shares:

• Why your nervous system sometimes can't tell the difference between being safe and feeling safe.

• How trauma, people-pleasing, perfectionism, and even the relationships around you can subtly limit your creative freedom.

• The difference between real danger and perceived danger, and why naming the fear can shrink it.

• Why discomfort isn’t always a sign to stop — and why it’s essential to learn how to move forward even when you’re uncomfortable.

• Why becoming a “safe person” for yourself and others will make you a stronger and more fearless creator.

Why You Should Listen:

This episode offers a thoughtful, compassionate look at why the modern world can feel increasingly unsafe, how to sort through those feelings, and how building practices for emotional, intellectual, physical, and spiritual safety can liberate both your writing and your life.

Support the Show:

If you found this episode thought-provoking and helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share it with fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation:

Share your insights with Claire by emailing contact@ffs.media or connecting on social media.

Access the transcript here.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If For Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. My latest book, sustain Your Author Career is all about how to root out the unsustainable practices in our writing life and how to spot the right opportunities for us when they come along.

Check it out by going to FFS Media slash Sustain.

Today we are tackling quite a big subject. Honestly, I probably should have narrowed it down a bit, but whatever. Let's give it a shot. Today we're gonna ask the super important question that I hear behind author's words more than I hear directly in their words, and that is, what if I don't feel safe? Big question, right?

But it seems like a relevant one. Topical one. An important one for sure.

There are different kinds of safety that we seek. Emotional safety, physical safety, intellectual safety, and spiritual safety. All of these are crucial to wellbeing and none [00:01:00] of them are all or nothing, which is important to note. They work on sort of a sliding scale moment to moment person to person.

Physical safety is the one we're probably the most familiar with. That's just, is my body safe most of the time? I feel like my body is safe sitting at my desk, I mostly feel like my body is safe, but things can influence that. So say I'm sitting at my desk watching a video of a car crash. It's likely that while my body is safe in my chair, my ability to empathize means that my body is relating to what's happening to the bodies on the screen, so my body might not know it's safe, resulting in increased heart rate, tense muscles, adrenaline changes in my circulation, possibly even a little bit of tunnel vision.

Certainly tunnel vision with where my attention is going. Is my body safe and does my body know it's safe? Are two different questions, and we'll talk about that more in just a bit. So trauma is another thing that can [00:02:00] keep our body from feeling safe when it's actually in quite the safe, physical environment.

This is why it's important for us to learn about trauma and begin to recognize it in ourselves and seek the help and support that we need. A lot of people I've talked to have experienced relief through EMDR and somatic therapy. So those might be things to look into if you're interested in helping your body connect to its present, physical safety levels more accurately, rather than being caught in the past. If you are not physically safe in your own home, perhaps it's time to do what you can to change that. Maybe start making a plan, but sometimes there's not much we can do about it. For instance, my home right now feels very safe to me. I feel physically safe inside of it. I trust my neighbors. I don't worry about crime too much, and my partner tops my list of people least likely to want to harm me.

So that's a benefit of being married to a nine, but also just a decent human being. But I have lived in homes where I did not feel safe at [00:03:00] all. I lived in an apartment in a really high crime neighborhood, and it had this sliding glass door connecting my bedroom to the stairwell. So yeah, never felt fully safe going to bed there.

I also rented a room from a much older man who started sneaking into my room while I wasn't home, going through my private things, and then kind of sulking about me spending time with my boyfriend instead of him. He also had an insane ex-wife with a key to the house who would just kind of show up and hang around.

Uh, when I moved in, I thought the other woman renting a room was insane because she'd added three padlocks to the inside of her bedroom door. Turns out she was very sane. I was naive. So in both of those situations, I was too poor to leave for a long while. I understand it can be difficult to reposition yourself financially when you don't feel physically safe.

It's worth a try though. But if you can't [00:04:00] change the big things like moving to a safer situation right away, there are still smaller steps you can take, which I'll talk about more in a bit. Emotional safety is just as important for our ability to function as creatives. Emotional safety looks like having people around you who are able to receive the good, the bad, and the ugly from you without judging or rejecting you.

Notice it's not just the bad and the ugly, it's the good too. It's not uncommon to have a friend who is happy to hear about it when you're down, but who prickles when you share something positive? So be sure to watch out for that too.

Emotional safety is also about feeling safe within yourself to experience the wide range of possible emotions. This part of emotional safety is often overlooked. So what don't you feel comfortable allowing yourself to feel? When those taboo emotions come up, you'll feel unsafe and unsettled If you don't learn to experience them, [00:05:00] and you might not know why you feel that way, it'll just be harder to focus on things.

Intellectual safety looks like feeling safe to not have the answers yet. You feel comfortable saying, I don't know, which is what allows you to stay curious. We can only be curious about things we don't already think we know.

And curiosity is a gateway to creativity. They both begin with, I wonder if you don't feel intellectually safe, it negatively affects your ability to be creative.

Just like with emotional safety, intellectual safety is also a matter of both internal and external conditions. Do you surround yourself with people with whom you feel safe? Being honest about your lack of knowledge?

Do you feel okay saying something dumb in front of them from time to time or admitting you were wrong without them judging or rejecting you? And do you feel safe admitting to yourself that you don't know something or might be wrong? Can you do that without bringing down all the judgment [00:06:00] and criticism on yourself?

Spiritual safety is just as important as the other types. Spiritual safety isn't limited to a spiritual community, but spiritual danger is often created in organized, spiritual, or religious groups. When we suffer spiritual abuse, the spiritual element of our existence no longer feel safe, and we can become disconnected from it.

So this includes our connection to our fellow human, our connection to our higher self, our feeling of unity with nature, and our faith in God, the universe and everything. It's crucial that we check in with our levels of spiritual safety. If you are spiritual community doesn't allow for questioning.

You're not in a spiritually safe environment. If your community casts people out who make human mistakes, rather than showing a path forward through reconciliation and compassion, while also holding you accountable for harm you may have [00:07:00] caused to other parties, then you're not in a spiritually safe place. And similarly, if you don't give yourself the space to internally question your spiritual beliefs and maybe play around with others and offer yourself the self-compassion needed to be a human while holding yourself accountable for any harm you've caused, then you are not spiritually safe for yourself internally.

I doubt that any of us are completely safe, is what I'm saying. It's really a sliding scale on these factors. You may feel physical safety and emotional safety, but not totally intellectually or spiritually safe, for instance. Those are just things to notice because our ability to write is often dependent on our degree of safety.

It's an interesting exercise to run a quick audit on these areas of safety and see what do you come up with? Bringing a little attention to It goes a long way.

As authors, we will struggle to write if we can't find ways to [00:08:00] feel safe to meet our threshold of safety, to focus. Some people might say that they're motivated to write by fear and. That can work for some people for a while, but you always run into the restriction of your fears. Eventually, it can't last.

If you don't feel emotionally safe, your characters may feel shallow. If you don't feel intellectually safe, you'll likely get hung up on research and details. If you don't feel spiritually safe, your stories may fall flat and fail to inspire readers and stick with them after the last page.

When we don't feel safe, we armor up. And that armor limits the way we can express ourselves through our stories. It limits our ability to connect to the stories in the first place, which is sometimes the source of our writer's block. Now you may be thinking, Claire, are you telling me to only do what feels safe?

No, there's a balance here. First, we must recognize where we don't feel safe. That's the first part in assessing if we're actually unsafe. Sometimes we feel unsafe, [00:09:00] but we're not unsafe as in the example of sitting at your desk while watching a car accident on your computer, and sometimes we feel unsafe because we have unaddressed anxieties floating around, which is why I make this podcast.

You may find, for instance, that you feel emotionally unsafe writing your spicy romance. So you're running into this resistance when it comes time to write the deeply erotic parts. Then maybe you listen to my episode. What if I disappoint my parents? And you go, oh, you were caught in the feeling of being emotionally unsafe because in the back of your mind, you were imagining their voices in your head every time you tried to write butt stuff, which is objectively unsexy.

Uh, will it ever be emotionally safe to talk with your parents about those erotic scenes? Maybe not. But now you have the choice to begin some practices that return you to yourself and allow you to feel safe enough to write the scenes knowing it will probably disappoint your parents anyway.

When the danger is nebulous and unnamed, it tends to take on much more [00:10:00] space and be more disruptive.

But when we can pause and name it, we can then start to bring that perceived threat back into perspective. Bring our adult brains online and make a decision about how to proceed if we wanna grow and liberate ourselves. This is the point where we choose discomfort. You don't wait around until it feels easy and comfortable to write sex scenes that your parents would disapprove of you.

Take that step forward despite it feeling uncomfortable. Now, there's a range to this though, right? We don't wanna make ourselves so uncomfortable that we become paralyzed with fear. But it's important to note that the people who challenge themselves don't wait until the path forward feels comfortable.

They take the path when it still feels uncomfortable, while they're still wondering, am I gonna regret this? And while they're still dreaming of returning to comfort and ease, they don't wait for certainty. They move ahead in uncertainty. And that will always feel uncomfortable, but it [00:11:00] doesn't have to feel so unsafe that our minds, bodies, and hearts shut down and cease to function.

It's a balance.

But first we need to name the sense of threat to our safety. Put it into proportion, and remember that nothing is certain, and if we wait for certainty, we'll be waiting forever. The world has always been uncertain. I don't know that the world is any more uncertain today than it was 10 years ago, but I will say that our ability to live in the delusion of certainty.

Has been severely hobbled lately. Things feel like they're changing quickly and not necessarily in a positive direction. But change is of course, the only constant. The truth remains that the only thing we have ever had control over is how we treat ourselves and others. Through that control. We may influence the world around us, but we [00:12:00] never had control over it.

We never had more or less control over things than we do now. Have we had more rights granted to us by the government? Certainly. But you see that it's not the same as what we have control over. If the president passed an executive order tomorrow that banned women from driving cars, I could still get in a car and drive it.

I, I still control my decisions in that way.

Might the consequences or the outcome be different from that than they were a year ago? Yeah. That doesn't mean that I don't still have huge control here. The things that I can control have not changed

as shitty as everything might feel. Right now we're at a huge turning point. People who are able to see that we never had certainty of results and never had control over anything other than how we treat ourselves and others will be the ones to exercise that power effectively, possibly influencing the world for the better.

[00:13:00] Those who don't wake up to that reality will fall into despair and forfeit all of their power and influence for the betterment of the world. This is a turning point. The people who do the intense inner work and stay with their healthy practices will fare better than those who don't.

Doing the work and sticking to practices are decisions we can all make no matter what the external situation. As long as you are breathing, you have this option. So in that way, not much has changed. Yeah. In certain moments, it really feels like the bad guys are winning, but they want nothing more than to convince us that we no longer have control over our lives.

For us to give over the power and the agency of the one thing we have, which is how we treat ourselves and others,

bringing awareness to all of this is the key. In oppressive environment seeking certainty. A better safety often means. Becoming complicit in the oppression. [00:14:00] So I've noticed myself as of late thinking of relationships in different terms than usual.

I generally ask myself, is this a good person? And that was kinda the basic criteria. Is this a good person? Do they not completely annoy the shit outta me? Yeah, they might be a good friend. And of course, what I consider to be a good person is so, so subjective. Uh, and you may see my type one filter coming through, but in a way that I don't necessarily see a reason to change.

But lately, I've been narrowing down the pool of good people by asking if they're also safe people. And boy does that narrow down the pool. Do I feel emotionally safe around this person? Do I feel intellectually and spiritually safe with them? Do I feel physically safe with them? I do have friends who meet all of that criteria.

It's great. I love being around them. Also, do I trust them to be smart and use discretion about what they might share with others about me? Now, that's a new [00:15:00] requirement brought about by, you know, the shift towards a high control government.

There are people who I do believe are good people and want to be good people, but who are not educated enough on how things like autocracies and authoritarians work. And so I don't believe that they're currently safe people to share things about my life with

education brings safety so they don't necessarily see the seismic shift in daily life yet. And so they may be unintentionally careless with important information. So for instance, I'm married to a detective who I believe is safe with most things, but if I'm pulled over by the police, I ain't saying shit.

You know? Things are changing in the way we move outside of our homes and even inside of our homes. When it comes to cybersecurity and measures of privacy, , things are changing [00:16:00] by necessity. And this is not to make you feel unsafe, but to bring some caution. One important thing here is that I don't necessarily consider someone a safe person if they don't know how to spot safe people. That's because we are all part of a network, and I think everyone's had this experience where they have that one friend who they love with all their heart, but that friend has terrible taste in the people they hang out with.

So like your friend Lauren might be respectful, but when she asks to bring her boyfriend to your party, your stomach sinks because none of the men she dates are respectful and she just doesn't see it.

Part of the learning. Of how to spot when people are unsafe, which is a learned skill, by the way, is to do our shadow work to uncover how we are not being safe people for others. This is crucial for anyone who wants to be a good ally to others. So for instance, white women who put ally with, you know, like [00:17:00] the different skin tone fists, or the pride flag and their online bios, they're almost always shitty allies in the end, right?

It's a sign that the woman is more concerned with being seen as an ally and getting the approval of black people or the queer community than she is. Actually putting herself on the line and in the line of fire when needed as an ally does. It's the guy who calls himself a feminist without addressing his internalized entitlement to the attention and praise of women who suddenly turns mean when he doesn't show up as an ally and a woman calls him out on it.

Right? Only when we do the highly unflattering work of learning about how we've been unsafe people for others, and addressing that no matter how uncomfortable it is, will we be able to recognize what safe people really look like. Making yourself safer makes you safer when we start to root out the unsafe patterns inside of us, like entitlement.

[00:18:00] People pleasing, perfectionism, deceit, cowardice, and envy. S. These are all patterns that make us unsafe for ourselves and others. We start to see the world around us more clearly, and doing that allows us to feel safe more frequently. So this is very important work for you as a human, but also as a creative.

Doing that work is one way to create a sense of safety for ourselves in unpredictable, uncertain, and unsafe environments. But it's not the only way. Our daily practices really, really matter here.

If you have not been feeling safe lately, I would recommend you take five minutes toward the start of every day to close your eyes and check in with yourself. Ask yourself some questions. Just go through the kinds of safety one at a time. Where my body, do I not feel physically safe? What is making me feel physically unsafe?

What of that do I have control over? And what am I trying to control that I don't have control [00:19:00] over? Does the reality of my physical safety match up with the way I feel about it?

What emotions are making me feel unsafe? Why is that? Could I feel them without becoming unsafe? What are those emotions telling me to do and why am I not doing it?

What thoughts do I feel unsafe thinking or sharing? What am I afraid will happen if I say something stupid or incorrect? How is that stopping me from contributing my perspective and knowledge is the threat. I feel accurate to the reality of the situation.

Where am I feeling spiritually unsafe? What doubts am I having that feel unsafe to entertain even in the privacy of my own head? How my entertaining doubts be a crucial step to stronger faith rather than something dangerous and detrimental to my spiritual health? What is something I can do today that will make me feel spiritually connected?

Additionally, you might ask yourself some of these questions. What action, if any, do I need to take to create safety? [00:20:00] What media do I need to stop consuming to avoid triggering fear and insecurity about things I cannot directly control? Where might my ignorance on a subject be leading to fear, and how might I learn more about the thing to understand it and feel safer existing with it?

What people do I need to set internal boundaries with or begin distancing myself from to create more safety? So if any of these questions resonates with you right now, just take that and start working with that. And then lastly, because we're authors, you can ask yourself, how might I need to reposition my business to feel safe enough to choose discomfort?

Now, this might look like spending less time on social media so that you feel safer taking risks in the kinds of books that you publish. This could look like creating a separate source of income so that you're financially safe enough to take risks that may not pay off in your writing business.

What level of safety do you need to create for yourself so that you can choose discomfort? This is a big question, and I hope [00:21:00] I've offered plenty of ways to start creating that safety for yourself. So if you're wondering. What if I don't feel safe? I'll say that it's time to start checking in with yourself, learning about where you don't feel safe, and finding ways to create internal safety for yourself.

External safety too, where you can do the scary shadow work to see where you're being unsafe for others and you'll make yourself a safer place to be. As well as learn how to spot safe relationships.

Now, just as a side note, a safe relationship doesn't mean a relationship with no conflict, no disagreement. It just means that when you are having those conflicts and disagreements, you are feeling heard, you're feeling respected, and you feel like you and the other person are working toward common ground rather than attacking each other.

Feeling unsafe destroys our ability to be creative. Our focus and [00:22:00] our decision making skills, every resource we have diverts to what we perceive as the danger. That's why you can't do the inner work that we talk about each episode until you address where you feel fundamentally unsafe and start to question if that's the reality or result of trauma or a mixed up sense of what you can and cannot control.

A lot of the time simply pausing to run a diagnostic check each day on what areas of our life feel safe or not safe is a great way to take back control of our creativity and focus on beginning to make sounder decisions for our business. It takes a daily practice though, or mostly daily, right? It's not all or nothing.

If you miss a day, don't beat yourself up. Just start again.

Fear and liberation are at odds with one another. The better we understand that the more motivated we'll be to create an internal sense of safety so that we can make decisions that challenge us and make us uncomfortable, [00:23:00] but are ultimately the path toward greater liberation, success and wellbeing. It's a balance, but it's worth holding that tension to reap the rewards.

If you don't feel safe inside of yourself, then you have work to do. And we all have this work to do, frankly. But if you don't make yourself a relatively safe place to exist within, you'll never have the foundation you need and the retreat that you can return to that's necessary for challenging yourself to try new uncomfortable things.

So that's it for this episode of What If for authors, thanks for listening and. If you don't feel physically safe inside your home and it's because of another person who is living there, I hope that you'll begin to consider that. It doesn't have to be that way. So the number for the National Domestic Violence Hotline in the US is 1-800-799-SAFE, SAFE.

Or you can text the word start to 8, 8 7 8. In the uk. It's 0 8 0 8 2000. [00:24:00] 2, 4, 7, or you can go to refuge.org.uk. If you're in another country than those, you'll likely have a free helpline as well. So be sure to use a safe device that's unlikely to be tracked and delete your browser and chat history.

Libraries are very good for this sort of thing. People who work these helplines are incredibly discreet. You don't have to know how you'll make the change. You just need to take the first step and let the experts guide you along. They know what they're doing. So this may sound quite dramatic to even mention to many of you, but statistically speaking, at least a few people listening to this episode will need those numbers.

It might be you right now. If you don't feel safe with the people you live with, perhaps it's time to take that first and uncomfortable step into the unknown. It might be the best first step you've ever taken. I'm Claire Taylor, and I'm so glad you're here. Thanks for listening, and I hope you'll join me for the next episode of What If for Authors, happy Writing.

Episode 41: What if I'm a private person?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If? For Authors, Claire dives into a deeply personal question: What if I'm a private person? If you feel more comfortable keeping parts of your life under wraps and struggle with the pressure to overshare, this conversation is for you. Claire explores the right to privacy as a basic human need and examines how personal boundaries can be both a shield and a source of strength in your writing career. Drawing on her own experiences and insights from the Enneagram, she discusses how embracing your privacy can empower your creative voice while still allowing meaningful connections with your audience. Tune in to discover strategies for balancing what you share with the world and what you keep for yourself—and learn how being a private person can be a powerful asset in your author journey.

Key Takeaways:

• Interwoven Rights: Discover how free speech and privacy are intertwined pillars of creative and personal freedom, and why protecting one often means defending the other.

• Legal Protections: Understand the scope and limitations of the First Amendment—not only as a guardian of free expression but also as a shield for your private life.

• Erosion of Privacy: Learn about the subtle ways in which political maneuvers and legal gray areas may gradually undermine your privacy and the implications for authors.

• Staying Grounded: Explore strategies to remain mindful and resilient amid external chaos, focusing on what you can control: your thoughts, actions, and personal narrative.

• Empowered Expression: Embrace the power of choosing what to share and what to keep private, and how this balance can liberate your creative voice.

Why You Should Listen:

If you’re an author or creative concerned about maintaining your personal privacy while exercising your right to free expression, this episode is for you. Claire blends snark, insight, and personal anecdotes to help you navigate these complex issues in a rapidly changing world. Whether you’re worried about government overreach, digital surveillance, or just the erosion of personal boundaries, you’ll gain practical perspectives on how to protect your privacy and empower your writing.

Support the Show:

If you found this episode thought-provoking and helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share it with fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation:

How do you balance your need for privacy with the demands of building an audience? What are your thoughts on the current state of free speech and personal privacy? Share your insights with Claire by emailing contact@ffs.media or connecting on social media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If For Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor, and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors, as well as a humor and mystery writer. My latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, is all about how to root out the unsustainable practices in our writing life, and how to spot the right opportunities for us when they come along.

Check it out by going to ffs. media forward slash sustain. Today's topic is one that my opinions have recently shifted a little bit on, mostly because the environment in which we're now publishing and marketing has changed. In today's episode, we ask the question, what if I'm a private person? First of all, I think everyone has parts of themselves that they want to keep private and that they deserve to keep private. The right to privacy is, in many ways, a very basic human right upon which everything else can then be built.

So from a purely ideological standpoint, I'm 100 percent with those of you who feel like I'm a [00:01:00] private person, I don't want to necessarily share about my life with my readers. I don't think you ought to if you don't want to. Consent certainly enters into the subject. But I'll talk more about that and the horrors of reality in just a little bit.

For now, let's just talk about personality and the need to be private.

Now the authors I hear this from the most, those who say they're private people and that a lot of the publishing advice floating around doesn't work for them, are Enneagram type fives. These are the most private type in the Enneagram system. This comes from the fives pattern of moving away, withdrawing, as a way to get their needs met.

And because fives like to hold on tight to information as a way to feel competent, their personal information tends to be something that they hold on tightly to and withdraw from the sight of others. One of the things I really love about Fives and why I think they make great friends is that they tend to do that same thing with your private information.

They [00:02:00] understand the importance of being that vault and not sharing it. So if you tell them something and you're in their inner circle, it ain't going anywhere. But other types Could be private people as well. Sometimes we want to keep things private because we're ashamed of them, but sometimes we want to keep things private because it just matters so much to us that we don't want to let other people besmirch it in some way, right?

I know that for a while after getting my endometriosis diagnosis, there were a lot of people I was just not going to tell about it. Most people for a while. I only told a few people at first and some of the reactions I got made me want to stop sharing that information with people. So for instance, I would say, yeah, I finally got this diagnosis.

I've been trying to get for 15 years and now I'm on this medication and it's helping. And I feel great. I feel the best I felt since I was really young. And then they would reply, Oh, you should try this and this and this. [00:03:00] So these were not doctors I was talking to, these were just white women. Two of them I had just explained what endometriosis was, because they didn't know, and yet they had a recommendation.

So that made me not want to tell anyone else about it. Now, I had to figure out why, and eventually I landed on the fact that getting the diagnosis was such nice validation after a decade of being told that my pain wasn't real and that it should just be accepted, not looked into any further, and when I shared that with those friends, Their reactions had been to invalidate my experience of feeling better by ignoring what I was saying about how the medicine was working, and then instead insisting that they knew better about my body by recommending shit like oregano oil and water.

I mean, I know they meant well. But, no, I'm not going on the carnivore diet to treat my endometriosis. Yes, that was another recommendation. So show me some fucking research or listen to [00:04:00] me when I say that things are better and I feel great. Just be happy with me, right? So, I learned that lesson that I was not ready to share yet because I just wanted to keep the validation for myself.

So I was private. I wanted to be able to sort of revel in the fact that finally a doctor listened to me. And I wanted to be able to do that without people close to me taking cheap shots at it. That invalidated my experience. Also, I know that my audience is very heavily skewed toward white women, so I am begging you, white women, my fellow white women, when someone says their treatment is working, do not heap on your recommendations.

I know you mean well. But after being subjected to a lifetime of people invalidating your experience with your body, you may unintentionally be passing it along to someone else. Just a little disclaimer from my personal experience that we can bring some mindfulness [00:05:00] to.

Now let's talk about the Enneagram Triads. So these are associated with certain negative emotional themes that we're going to deal with for most of our lives. And they can give us an interesting framework for examining our relationship to privacy. For types two, three, and four, the emotion that's going to be very prevalent throughout your life is shame.

And this is not a useful emotion, but this means that a lot of the things that you want to keep private are likely things you're ashamed of other people knowing. So this could be failure, what you perceive to be failure, being kind of boring or ordinary, being selfish, whatever it is, just notice if you're spending a lot of time and energy keeping that private, because that's where the energy around privacy may be.

Not helping you may be wasted. It may be draining you when it doesn't need to, when it comes to shame. One of the best things we can do to address it is to talk about it. Shame convinces you that you need to keep a secret, that there's something wrong about you, that you [00:06:00] should keep secret. So just.

Telling it to someone you trust starts to make the shame go away. So that's where privacy starts to get a little bit, is it helping or hurting? Just do some work around that shame and that'll free you up so you don't feel like you're having to hide things from your audience all the time as an author.

For types 7, you're going to be dealing more with the emotional patterns of anxiety. And obviously we all have anxiety, but this is more anxiety about scarcity and resources. I don't have what I need. I'm unprotected. People are trying to steal my resources. That sort of thing. 5, 6, and 7s tend to run into trust issues as a result, and a lot of the craving for privacy that can come from that, rather than a true need to protect yourself, it's from that anxiety.

In other words, you may be going overboard and again, wasting energy trying to keep things private that wouldn't threaten you in any way if you shared them. And then 8s, 9s, and 1s, um, this triad is looking at anger, [00:07:00] which is really about control, autonomy. A lot of the need for privacy for these types comes from not feeling in control.

If they don't know about me. They can't control me, right? So ones keep the imperfect and ugly parts of themselves hidden, so as to not give anyone an upper hand. Nines withdraw into themselves, so that nobody can get control of their inner world. And eights don't share what they perceive to be their weaknesses, so that nobody can use those against them.

It all boils down to control for this triad.

What I'm not telling you is that you need to be a completely open book. I'm never going to say that, and I think there's a lot of wisdom in why that's not the approach you want to take in the world we're living in as an author. Now, it may be that this need for privacy is being overblown in your personal relationships and causing damage to them, if that's the case.

You might get a lot of mileage out of examining how tightly you're holding onto privacy at the expense of connection with others. But when we're looking at our author [00:08:00] life, readers don't really need access to all of you. Some may feel entitled to it, and that's their problem. I think it's important to feel empowered to make a decision about what you share and what you don't share with your audience.

Some authors share a lot, to the point where people go, wow, they're such an open book. But I promise you, even they aren't a completely open book. Even they have things that they're not sharing. They're just comfortable sharing things that you aren't comfortable sharing. That doesn't mean that they don't keep anything private.

So sometimes I'll hear authors say, oh, but such and such author talks about her personal stuff and her readers love it, so I should talk about that same kind of personal stuff. I'll just say that to her, it probably doesn't feel personal. But there's something that feels personal to her, and I bet she's not sharing that.

Sometimes we misattribute an author's success to being an open book, but that's not really the [00:09:00] case. You don't have to feel pressure to share things about yourself that you don't feel comfortable with. Now, if you want to challenge yourself over time because you recognize that you're uncomfortable sharing, Anything about yourself, and that's something you'd like to work on, you can certainly do that.

Just try it in small doses. Also, the world expects a lot more transparency and personal sharing from women than it does from men. So Bringing some awareness to that can help deflate the pressure we feel as women to share openly and honestly about our inner world. Just remember, you don't need to be vulnerable with people who don't deserve it and who would exploit that.

Women are socialized from a very young age to share more of themselves than they're comfortable with in many ways. And I certainly see that come through in some of the attitudes that female authors, , express. About the pressure to be open and honest and vulnerable with their audience. If [00:10:00] you want to be vulnerable about something, absolutely, but do it because it makes you stronger, not because you feel obligated to.

Now, here's a quick, friendly reality check for those who feel like their lack of success or their struggle to break through to the next level is a result of their need to be a private person. A lot of readers don't give a single shit about who you are. They just want to read your books. If you're a private person who doesn't want to share about yourself, then go after those readers.

Relationship building with your audience is a tool, but it's not necessarily the best tool. It's certainly not the only tool. And it's definitely not the best tool if you just suck at it. And some of us do. So if that's the case, use the other tools you have. That's fine. I figure some people listening to this are going to feel a lot of relief in that the reminder that many if not most readers out there [00:11:00] don't need to know anything about you to enjoy your books.

But I've also found that everyone has something they're willing to share with their readers. It might not be something personal about you, but it might be something that interests you. It could be a topic you're passionate about, or it could be stories you overheard at a coffee shop. It doesn't have to be personal to be something that builds connection with your readers.

Everything we share with other people says something about us, who we are, what we value. It lets people know us a little bit more. And that's not to scare the private people, that's only to say, you're already doing these things. And they probably feel comfortable to you.

Sometimes we attach labels to ourselves like, I'm a private person, and while that can help us build a sense of identity and sometimes give us solace like, it's okay for me to be this way, it can also keep us from seeing the parts of ourselves that aren't like that.

If you say, I'm a private person, you may be missing all the ways you're actually quite [00:12:00] open and share freely without reluctance. So really, it's more like you're a private person in some ways and open in others. And that's true for pretty much everyone. A lot of the deep work I do with authors is simply helping them realize they're not seeing all the parts of themselves that are there.

If you define yourself as, say, a thoughtful person, and you over identify with that, then you're most likely not seeing the ways you sometimes act recklessly or make decisions based on emotion rather than thoughtfulness and logic.

That, of course, doesn't mean that you don't. Do those things. It just means you're not seeing it because you've defined yourself in this narrow way as a thoughtful person. We don't see the things about ourselves that don't fit into the stories we tell about ourselves. For instance, you might say, I'm a private person.

But then you pour the deepest parts of yourself, your hopes, your dreams, your sorrows, into your characters and share those with the entire world. [00:13:00] That seems like pretty open sharing to me.

So if you consider yourself to be a private person, it might be interesting to explore the ways you're already quite open with the people in your life and your readers. You might not be as private as your definition has led you to believe. Now, what I'm not asking you to do is look at all those places where you've been sharing.

Freak out about the vulnerability and shut it all down. In fact, I suggest the opposite. Look at all the ways you've been sharing that you may not have noticed and how it's been okay. Maybe it's even worked out really well. That might inspire you to poke around in the places where you've been holding things very private and ask if you're holding on to too much out of fear.

Maybe there's some stuff there that you're actually ready to let go of, to not hold so closely to the vest. And if you're not, if everything needs to stay private, that's fine. Again, you're entitled to hold whatever you want private. That's just a little [00:14:00] treat of human rights that we get, for now. Uh, and on the topic of privacy and human rights, there's been a big shift for American authors, we have to acknowledge that.

And I hate to even bring this up because God, it's such a bummer, but it's the reality we're living in. And state you live in, are trying to legislate on private matters to the extent of such overreach that many of us feel the government in our homes and our bodies on a daily basis.

Ugh. It's like a poison you want to extract from your veins, but can't. I mean, you can, but it takes a lot of practice to connect with your body.

And the point of this overreach is to disconnect people from their body, to disconnect them from their power. The message is that your body, your private information, your inner world belongs to them, not you. The creep of this has been going on for a while, and admittedly, it is nice to know that your spouse can't physically abuse you [00:15:00] without punishment from a governing entity. Presumably. Though blind eyes have been turned in the past, but this is why when Roe v. Wade was overturned, there were plenty of people who didn't support abortion, who were still very concerned about knocking down this pillar of individual privacy.

Now, the propaganda that framed it as a purely moralistic stance, you either care about life or you're a baby killer.

And that was incredibly effective at obfuscating the real alarming implications for everyone's right to privacy as a citizen of the U. S. But make no mistake that the point was always to remove barriers to power over citizens. And I think that's pretty obvious to see in retrospect now that we're losing so much of our privacy.

Now, if you don't agree with me, you're probably thinking, don't get political, Claire. That's what people who don't agree with the speaker tend to say. But when we're talking about privacy, we're already in the realm of politics. I didn't bring it into this conversation. [00:16:00] It is always there. Some people simply like to pretend that it's not.

And I'm not that kind of person. Y'all know me. It's there, let's name it. Politics is just an agreement of how we want to live together in a community and society. Anyway, so everything is political because the way we live our lives affects those around us. Anyway, I think current governmental shenanigans make our private world even more valuable and precious than it's ever been, and I think it's something worth protecting.

Now, I'm not telling you to become paranoid, but a certain amount of novel caution and awareness may be required in these times, may be welcome. So, keep going, don't tune out. I want to be clear that wisdom, discretion, and adaptability to the reality of our environment do not require us to be fearful or panicked.

So when I talk about this paradigm shift I'm seeing, I hope you'll simply notice where the fear comes in and let [00:17:00] it thrash around without listening to it too much. As authors, a lot of us have been Vetting what we share with the world through the approach of share unless there's a clear reason not to.

But there might be some wisdom in reversing that and instead using the approach of don't share unless there's a clear reason to share. At least when we're looking at the audience. I'm not talking about what you share with your trusted friends. Keep sharing with them. Keep that connection strong. But there are some things we become comfortable sharing publicly to our readers, on our email lists, on social media, without thinking much about it. Right? Our schedules, identifying information about our neighborhood, our kids names, our favorite writing spots.

These are things we might not want to share so freely anymore. We might just pause and consider. The benefit versus the possible consequence. Part of pulling back might involve [00:18:00] realizing how much you've already shared, followed by a little freak out, right? That's normal. Nothing you can do about the past though, so focus on progress over perfection as you sort of make this transition.

Create new policies for yourself.

Being in charge of your privacy also means practicing a little more online hygiene. I promise I'm not trying to scare you, but most people don't realize how much of their personal information is available to buy and sell online and how frequently and rapidly that's happening. It's almost certainly becoming a messier situation now that we have members of our government who are criminals accessing all the information that the government has ever collected on us, including social security numbers, taxes, bank accounts, and whatever, you know, investigative files might exist with our names in them.

It's important not to throw up our hands and just give up. That's called complying in [00:19:00] advance, and it's a big no no when it comes to resisting authoritarian power. So just return as much as you can to the central tenet of liberation work, which is you control what you do. Don't abdicate the one thing you truly have influence over just because it feels like the bad guys are winning right now.

That's not enlightenment. That's not going to help you stay in the game.

In a lot of ways, this large scale grab for our personal information can be a gift of a wake up call. It can help us realize how much we've assumed we had control over things that we never actually had control over. And we start to recognize what we do have control over, things we've been maybe ignoring or neglecting.

our influence on. When it comes to privacy, I'm not telling you to hide away, but knowing what's what, seeing things as they are rather than through fear tinted lenses, [00:20:00] helps us make wise decisions for our career. So ask yourself, is what I want to share with the world meaningful enough to me and my reason for writing that I'm willing to assume the risk of relinquishing privacy over it?

Sometimes the answer will be yes, sometimes it'll be no. But we want to recognize that it is a decision, so that we don't let old patterns, which may have worked well, well enough, before, lead us to an unexpected and unwelcome outcome in this new environment. So I am kind of a snarky asshole on my personal social media, and I do not.

I do not have, you know, any sort of affinity for fascists and bigots. I don't post as many incendiary things as I used to because I don't think all of them are important enough to draw that kind of negative attention to myself. And previously I didn't have to worry about that as much, you know. years ago.

But sometimes now I think, you [00:21:00] know, oof, this is incendiary, but eh, fuck them, and I post it, even though I know it might get me on some McCarthy esque blacklist. But that pause to recognize the reality of the situation is the important part. You're going to make a decision one day that you may not have made the other day, but just recognizing that there is a decision.

We each can make the best decisions we can with the information we have, but when we're not aware that there is a decision to be made, we default to whatever patterns are most familiar. You might be sort of feeling in your body how unfit some of your old patterns are for the new reality we're living in.

Practicing mindfulness, slowing down when we recognize we're in a fear state so that we can think and feel more clearly is the path to recognizing more decision points. So if you're wondering, what if I'm a private person, I'll say that it's okay to keep some things private, for sure. You're [00:22:00] probably also open in ways you may not be seeing, though. The things we keep private can be beautiful gifts to ourselves. Reality can't get at them, and sometimes that's exactly what we need to keep going.

No matter what, you always have the right to decide who you share what with. So don't be afraid to exercise that right. Being mindful and purposeful about what you do share might be a new approach for you, but consider trying it on for size.

Keep the separation between public and private as clear as you can in your life right now. Spend some time intentionally sorting through what you want to keep private and what you want to share. Because as important as privacy is, sharing is also crucial. We share parts of ourselves to let others know they aren't alone, that we're all fighting this out together.

That life is tough, but it's also wonderful, and it's improved by the company of the people we love and [00:23:00] trust. Inside each of us, there will always be a tension between public and private, and that's our responsibility to tend to. If you're sitting there like, oh great, one more thing to think about, I get it.

We probably will want to, on some level, rid ourselves of the tension between public and private by saying, screw it. And maybe spewing everything far and wide. Or we may be tempted to go in the opposite direction, shutting everything out to keep as much as we can private. But neither of these extremes exercises wisdom or discretion.

Maintaining that internal polarity between public and private is what allows us to decide on a moment by moment basis what approach will get us what we want with as few negative side effects as possible.

When we try to relieve ourselves of that inner tension entirely, we lose mindfulness. We lose the flexibility we need to make sound decisions for our author career.

[00:24:00] I don't feel like this episode offers a whole lot of concrete answers, but hopefully it gives you an opportunity to think deeply about the tension between public and private that lives inside of you. The human need to keep something for yourself, and the human need to share and connect. Both are important.

Which side of that continuum do you tend to lean toward by default? What interesting new results might you find in your author career if you experimented with leaning a little more in the other direction? These decisions are your responsibility and, most importantly, under your control.

I think it's important that we try to keep our attention directed at those decisions and not get distracted by the three ring shit circus playing out in the media. You can't control those breaches of your privacy. So take whatever action you can, maybe giving your representatives an earful, and then return your attention to [00:25:00] where it's most effective.

And that's doing the inner work. Also learn about encrypting and securing your digital life to maintain the level of privacy you prefer. And don't let fear keep you from sharing what makes you human with others. Connection is just as important as privacy, maybe even more so in these weird fucking times.

And that's it for this episode of What If for Authors, before I let you go, I do wanna mention that I've launched a new website, liberated writer.com, and it's the place to go. If you wanna book one-on-one time with me, join my group coaching or sign up for the next session of the Liberated Writer five week course.

That's liberated writer.com. Go poke around and make sure you're signed up for my email list. Thanks so much for listening, I'm Claire Taylor, and I hope you'll reach out if you ever think I could be of use. Until next time, happy writing.

Episode 40: What if I'm an action-oriented writer?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If for Authors, Claire explores the challenges and benefits of being an action-oriented writer. Drawing on her Enneagram expertise, Claire delves into what it means to lead with action in your writing process—balancing the need to move forward with moments of pause for reflection and emotional connection. She shares personal insights on managing overwhelming schedules, the importance of intentional pauses, and how to leverage your innate action-oriented strengths without burning out.

Key Takeaways:

• Understanding Action Orientation:

  • Discover what it means to be an action-oriented writer and how it may manifest differently based on your Enneagram type and subtype.

  • Recognize that being action oriented doesn’t preclude using planning or intuition—it's about finding your unique balance.

• The Power of Pausing:

  • Learn why even action oriented writers benefit from occasional pauses to check in with their emotions and thoughts.

  • Explore strategies to avoid unproductive action that arises from trying to outrun negative feelings.

• Balancing Productivity with Self-Care:

  • Understand the pitfalls of overloading your schedule with responsibilities as a misguided attempt to maintain control.

  • Embrace the idea that taking time to pause, reflect, and even connect with loved ones can ultimately enhance your writing.

• Practical Strategies:

  • Consider setting up realistic, sustainable work habits and allowing room for flexibility in your creative process.

  • Use techniques like mindfulness to refocus and reclaim your energy when your schedule feels overwhelming.

Why You Should Listen:

If you’re an author who thrives on action but finds yourself occasionally overwhelmed by your own pace or the pressure to always be moving forward, this episode is for you. Claire offers a refreshing perspective on how to harness your action-oriented strengths while incorporating essential pauses for growth and self-reflection. Whether you're struggling to maintain balance or looking for ways to optimize your creative process, you'll gain valuable insights to empower your author journey.

Support the Show:

If you enjoyed this episode, please consider leaving a review on your favorite podcast platform and sharing the show with fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover these insights and join our community.

Join the Conversation:

We’d love to hear your thoughts! How do you balance action and reflection in your writing process? What strategies have helped you avoid burnout while staying productive? Share your insights with Claire by emailing contact@ffs.media or connect on social media.

Transition Announcement:

As a quick update, Claire announces that the podcast will be transitioning from a weekly to a monthly schedule. This change will help ensure the quality and sustainability of the show and protect Claire’s sanity, so be sure to stay tuned for the next episode!

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm so glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors as well as a Humor and Mystery Writer. My latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, is all about how to root out the unsustainable practices in our writing life and how to spot the right opportunities for us when they come along.

Check it out by going to ffs. media forward slash sustain.

Before I get to the good stuff today, I have an announcement that I know you're going to want to skip past, but I encourage you not to because then you'll be confused in future weeks. I'm now 40 episodes into this podcast, and while there are plenty more topics to cover, and new ones popping up weekly, I'm shifting some of the focus of my business right now in the new year, and that requires that I clear the decks a little bit time wise.

So this show will transition from a weekly podcast to [00:01:00] a monthly podcast. So make sure you're subscribed so that you don't miss it, because I know that when the frequency goes down, then people forget about things, I'm not front of mind, blah, blah, blah. So just make sure you're Subscribed if you want to continue getting these episodes.

And so, you know, if it's at a monthly schedule, I will be able to sustain this more long term. And of course, sustainability is the name of the game right now. So I don't make this decision lightly, this transition to monthly, because I know how much pain it causes me when one of my favorite podcasts releases monthly or irregularly or they skip a week. That small predictable thing, sometimes the small predictable things are all that keeps us going. Right? But each of these episodes takes about three hours for me to brainstorm, write, and record.

And once I'm done, I'm pretty much tapped for the day. I just don't have a day each week to commit to this [00:02:00] anymore with all the coaching and writing that I need to do this year. So we're going to monthly releases. All right. That is the announcement. End announcement. Bye. And on to the episode. Today's episode is one that some of y'all have probably been anticipating since the episode on being a thinking oriented writer.

This week we're going to ask the question, what if I'm an action oriented writer? Now just because you're in the action center of intelligence in the Enneagram, that's eights, nines, and ones, doesn't mean you're an action oriented writer. Nines, for instance, don't tend to lead with action. Threes, meanwhile, are very action oriented.

Sevens are frequently action oriented as well.

So when I talk about action oriented writers, I'm talking about those who feel much less resistance to taking a first step. Pausing to stop and think or to stop and feel might be a little less natural for these folks. In my [00:03:00] work, action oriented people tend to be 1s, 3s, and 8s, but that doesn't mean all the 8s are action oriented, and it doesn't mean the other types cannot be action oriented.

It's really up to you to pause and think about how you tend to approach things, both in your life and in your writing career.

Subtype may also play a part here. For instance, a 1 to 1 7, the fascination subtype, tends to be much more in their heads than a social 7. the sacrifice subtype that tends to be very service oriented and more action oriented as a result. I use the word tend a lot here because even your subtype isn't the whole picture of you, right?

There are a lot of personal factors that come into play, which is why I'm not drawing strict Enneagram lines here.

But there are clues in the Enneagram to get us started with asking the questions. Now, that being said, I will say if you're an 8 and you don't identify as an [00:04:00] action oriented writer, you're probably either mistyped or you've slid over into your stress type of 5 a little bit. So 8s are action, action, action, pretty much uniformly across the subtypes.

Let's start by asking, what common advice do we need to ignore if we're an action oriented writer? I would start by saying that you might find detailed outlines a little confining.

Anything that slows the process of actually getting to the writing part is likely going to make you cranky and impatient. Do you need to know your characters well before you start? Maybe, maybe not. You really have to find that sweet spot and allow yourself to find the sweet spot for you. Revisions can feel like cruel and unusual punishment to a lot of action oriented writers because you like the feel of moving forward, and revisions can feel like being dragged backward.

So if you'd If you don't like doing a lot of revisions, it might help the overall [00:05:00] quality of your books to delay gratification just a bit at the start to get to know some integral qualities of your characters before you begin writing them. That leads to less revisions needed after to make the book make sense.

It's a balance though, right? If you hate going back for revisions, and you hate doing a bunch of planning before you start to develop things like characters or theme, Then you're facing a trade off between a little bit of discomfort as you delay the action, or a book that may feel a little half baked to readers.

Now obviously I'm biased here, but a great solution to this tension is to decide on the Enneagram types of your protagonist, antagonist, and a couple of secondary characters before you get started.

That'll help you craft consistent characters on the fly as you write, and it can give you an idea of the central internal conflict and theme before you dive right in. For instance, you pick a protagonist who's a 2, the [00:06:00] helper. and an antagonist who's a five, the investigator.

If you know a little bit about those types and their core motivations, you can start to see that they'll clash the hardest around themes of help, self reliance, service, and competency. Now you don't have to settle on one theme, but you can sort of keep your eyes open in the direction of those conflicts.

It may also help to remind yourself that just because the process of outlining and then returning to the beginning to draft might feel like being constrained or dragged back in time. That doesn't mean that it's the only way to think about that. So rather than orienting yourself to the order of action in your story, orient yourself to the process of writing a book.

So it's all forward motion when you orient yourself to the process of writing a book. Even finishing the outline and going back to the beginning of the events of the story to start drafting. It may feel [00:07:00] like it's going backward because you're orienting yourself to the timeline of events in the story.

Now, it's a minor shift of perspective, but it can be incredibly helpful when you feel like, Ugh, I have to start drafting when I already know what happens in the end.

Also, again, you don't have to do an outline if you don't want to. But if you hate revisions and you don't want a half baked story, you probably got to find a balance that's tolerable for you.

And people tend to be more comfortable with delaying gratification than getting immediate gratification and then having to go back to something that is really, uh, intolerable or slow.

Now, just because you're an action oriented writer doesn't mean that you're necessarily an intuitive writer. You might not feel completely comfortable with improvising the whole book, and you might want to have the guardrails of a road map or an outliner, basic story beats. If that's you, recognizing that you may be feeling impatient as you plot these out can be [00:08:00] just incredibly helpful.

The impatience may register to you subconsciously as I'm doing this wrong. But you can reframe it to excitement like nerves before the starting gun of a race. The impatience is energy building up and that can be a really good thing. You're ready to take off. Accepting that impatience at the start is a crucial step to the process of being an action oriented writer can be incredibly helpful.

That tension of Delayed gratification can be a great pleasure if you remind yourself that it is delayed gratification and not punishment.

Now, action oriented writers tend to have a blind spot for either the logic of their story or the emotions of their characters. Whichever of the three centers is the lowest for them. If your thinking center is the least developed for you, there might be a lot of loose ends in the plot, moments when you're writing and feel like, Eh, that doesn't really [00:09:00] make sense, but I'll fix it later.

It may even look like characters taking action to move the plot forward the way you want it to go, without the action that they're taking necessarily making sense for their motivation and history. This

is something you might

And if you have an editor who is incredibly detail oriented for plot and consistency, that will be a huge way to support yourself so that you don't need to be the best at everything and you can lean instead on the gifts of your action orientation. Now,

if your least developed center is the feeling center, the heart center, then it's likely that your pacing and external actions are crowding out some of the space needed for your characters to feel their emotions and convey the emotional stakes to the readers. What happens when this occurs is that it can make the book feel a lot more like, and then, and then, and then, just one thing after another [00:10:00] without the increasing emotional stakes that will actually propel readers through your pages faster than if you just cut out all the moments of checking in and showing their internal worlds.

It may seem counterintuitive to slow down to create room for the emotions, but I promise that it actually keeps people moving and holds their interest longer. If you know that your heart center is your least developed center, finding the right editor is also a great solution here. And you could maybe even create a quick scene checklist to go back over things.

, that, you know, compels you to ask what the main characters are feeling in a moment, check and see if the scene follows emotionally from the previous scene, what your characters are afraid of losing in this moment, AKA the stakes and how, what they feel. is conflicting with what needs to be done. Anyway, your checklist doesn't even need to be that much info, but you can create something that helps you check in with them, because it's [00:11:00] not like you don't have emotions, right?

Even if you're an action oriented person, you have emotions,

but you may be in the habit In fact, you probably are in the habit of moving faster than the speed of emotions. Emotions require their own time and space, and that often has to be built into the schedule because it won't naturally appear if you like action and just getting shit done. You may also notice that you use action as a way of avoiding the emotions you don't want to feel.

Which works for a while, but not forever. Eventually something forces you to slow down, and if you haven't been practicing checking in with those emotions along the way, then they can feel like a landslide.

Not to mention that making space for emotions in your life, if you don't do it, it deprives your stories of a depth that would help keep your name front of mind for readers in a [00:12:00] publishing landscape of, you know, what it is, sometimes ghost written crap where the author feels no particular connection to the story, and machine written stories where, well, you know.

There is such a thing as unproductive action, and this is something that action oriented writers May want to watch out for unproductive action is doing to avoid feeling or thinking. It looks like taking on an insane amount of projects at once so that you have no choice, but to keep moving or else it all comes tumbling down.

I'm implicating myself a little here I understand, but as my announcement at the top of the show hopefully demonstrates, I'm trying to be more mindful about that default.

So, for example, one of my friends is totally action oriented, and she's also a marathon runner. So, a buddy of mine and I, we were giving her a hard time once while she was like training for a marathon, and he said, are you running towards something? And then I [00:13:00] finished with, or are you running away from something?

So we were both being snarky and flippant, but it, it turned out that we were closer to the truth than we thought when we found out the following week that her boyfriend was actually quite the asshole and she actually was subconsciously using training to avoid dealing with that situation head on. But the action of running marathons doesn't address the action of leaving.

a shitty abusive relationship, does it? Therefore, it's an unproductive action you're taking for the situation. It's using action to avoid looking at the truth. Okay, I will say this story has a happy ending. When my friend told my buddy and I about her relationship situation, the shit show she was in,\ we were able to offer her perspective that what she was experiencing Wasn't necessarily normal and healthy and then she was soon able to break up with him safely, but it took that pause It took that emotional vulnerability.

She kept training for [00:14:00] marathons And she did get into a relationship with another piece of shit right after. But, baby steps. It's been moving in a positive direction with each new guy, so, yay. Anyway, my point is that those of us who are action oriented do need pauses. Even if those pauses feel super uncomfortable.

And they probably will if they're Unfamiliar. Because in those pauses, where we feel the emotions we've been avoiding and have to confront the fears and thoughts that have been waiting for the space they need to come forward.

From those thoughts and emotions, we get incredibly useful information. Maybe even that golden nugget we need to figure out a new and more fruitful direction for our author career.

In those pauses, we can see and hear our heart and our minds screaming at the top of their lungs that now is the time to write that series we really want to write because the industry is ripe for it. [00:15:00] Or maybe our heart is saying, I'm lonely. And instead of trying to move faster and faster and do more and more to avoid feeling that, we can see that the action we need to take is to spend a little time catching up with old friends.

Our writing will be there when we're done, and we might find our fear drive around productivity has lessened as a result of addressing our emotion and strengthening connections with others. Then we may find that half of the projects we've been filling our day with are just noise. And not moving the needle forward at all on book sales.

If we spend some of that busyness time with our friends instead, we might find the fulfillment we were chasing the whole time without risking burnout.

Yeah, it's hard to pause and let the thoughts and feelings in when you're action oriented. A lot can come flooding in at once when we start this process, but you can handle it with the right support. So, take [00:16:00] action, which you love to do, and build the support you need so that slowing down and feeling emotions and having deep and interesting thoughts.

can be a part of your daily life.

When we try to outrun the negative emotions, we also leave the positive ones behind, and life becomes very dry and uninspiring when we do that.

In those cases, there's nothing to run toward, only things to run away from.

Your action oriented gifts shine when they're not also occupied trying to do the work of feeling and thinking for you. So, practice slowing down just a tad, listen to what's waiting to be heard. And don't be afraid to orient your ship to those stars before you embark on your next adventure.

Readers need your action orientation. They crave it. Your gift is one of vitality, power, passion, and it helps [00:17:00] your readers feel empowered just by experiencing the pace of your stories and the inevitable action orientation of your characters.

A lot of people need reminders that action is well within their options. And you can remind them even without directly meaning to, just by writing your books the way you are built to write them. So if you're wondering, what if I'm an action oriented writer, I say, fantastic. Keep at it.

Slow down from time to time, even though it's uncomfortable, because the richness you're chasing is often found in those still moments. Those pauses are where you study the map and scan for any information that may indicate dangerous terrain ahead. From there, you can take action with more confidence that it's Bringing you and your author career toward where you want it to go.

That's it for this week's episode. Thanks for listening. Please make sure to [00:18:00] subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts so that you'll open up the app in a month and go, Ooh, new episode. I love that feeling. I'm Claire Taylor, and I hope you'll join me for the next episode of What If for Authors. Happy writing!

Episode 39: What if we lose the right to free speech?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If? For Authors, Claire tackles a provocative and timely topic: the potential loss of free speech. Drawing on the historical significance of the First Amendment, Claire explores how these protections have empowered authors—especially satire writers—to express themselves without fear. She delves into the evolving political landscape and the implications for authors in the United States and beyond. Expect a mix of humor, snark, and deep insight as Claire challenges us to examine our own beliefs and the power dynamics at play in our society.

Key Takeaways:

• Understanding Free Speech:

  Learn what the First Amendment truly guarantees for writers and how it supports creative expression, including satire and critique.

• The Erosion of Rights:

  Reflect on the historical context of free speech in America and the ongoing threats posed by authoritarian tendencies.

• Navigating the Debate:

  Consider how differing interpretations of free speech fuel polarizing debates, from the use of hate speech to the protection of controversial ideas.

• Empowerment Through Expression:

  Realize that exercising free speech is not only a personal right but a collective responsibility to foster liberation rather than oppression.

• Maintaining Balance:

  Learn to ground yourself in truth and facts, even when facing external pressures that aim to sow confusion and doubt.

Why You Should Listen:

If you're an author who values the freedom to express your ideas and critiques, or if you're concerned about the subtle shifts in free speech rights under current political pressures, this episode is essential listening. Claire offers a thoughtful, unfiltered exploration of how our legal and cultural landscape is changing—and what that means for your voice as a writer. Whether you’re a staunch defender of free expression or just looking for reassurance amid uncertainty, you’ll find valuable insights and a healthy dose of perspective in today’s discussion.

Support the Show:

If you found this episode thought-provoking, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share it with fellow authors. Every review helps us reach more writers and fuels this ongoing conversation about creativity, freedom, and responsibility.

Join the Conversation:

What are your thoughts on the current state of free speech in our society? Have you noticed any changes that affect your work as an author? Share your insights and experiences by reaching out to Claire at contact@ffs.media or connect with her on social media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor, and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors as well as a Human Mystery Writer. My latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, is all about how to root out the unsustainable practices in our writing life, and how to spot the right opportunities for us when they come along.

Check it out by going to ffs. media forward slash sustain.

This is one of those episodes that probably pertains more to my American audience, but if you're outside of the US, you might gain some understanding, if not compassion for what it feels like to be an author in the US right now. Now, I don't agree with everything the Founding Fathers did, but they really threw down an absolute banger with the First Amendment, y'all. They really fuckin ate. And because they did, I get to say whatever the fuck I want on this podcast.

Yes, there are some [00:01:00] forms of speech that do not fall under the free speech protections, but I don't want to do those, so I'm all set.

The First Amendment also means that I can write my books without worrying too much about whether I'll go to prison for life or be sued for them. And so can you. As a satire writer, there are additional protections that allow me to make fun of things or parody things without worrying about legal trouble.

Now, those protections came a little later in the form of legal precedents, but they were only possible because of the badass First Amendment.

Now, I am by no means a legal scholar. And nothing I say here is legal advice, but I will say that I did pay attention in history and government class. And I read a bunch of shit about this pretty frequently because I like to be right. And the best way I found to do that is to keep reading and exposing myself to new ideas. That's not everyone's approach to being right, [00:02:00] obviously. Some folks prefer to just pick an idea and double down on it every time it's challenged. But for me, I like updating and adjusting as I encounter more robust ideas. To each their own, of course, and I think we can confidently say that some people have made it clear which approach they prefer, and it is getting more obvious by the day.

Okay, it's Been a long week, y'all. Maybe I'm feeling a little bit snarky. I would not be shocked if my reformer came out in full force today. Maybe that's appropriate for this episode, though, because today we're going to ask and answer the question, what if we lose the right to free speech? Let's start by defining what constitutes free speech. So we're on the same page with that.

Then I'll dive into why some folks are feeling a little worried, and then we'll walk through what is still within our power. If the [00:03:00] bozos in charge try to take away our right.

Free speech is one of these terms that has been warped by authoritarian political power. So, like, if I were to have a conversation with a particular kind of person, I might be saying free speech, meaning the legal ability to express whatever idea, fact, or opinion I want, regardless of whether it's popular, correct, or hateful, etc.,

as long as it isn't defamation or a threat. That is what I would mean by free speech, but because I'm not an asshole, the way I usually enjoy my free speech is through the ability to, I don't know, critique public figures and tell stories that have dirty words or that make fun of people who I deem silly.

What this other particular person might mean by free speech is their freedom to use slurs whenever and wherever they please without facing any consequences, whether legal or social. By the way, there is no legal protection from someone calling you a racist if you say racist [00:04:00] things. This antagonistic person might also be referring to their freedom to say dumb bitches like you deserve to die on the internet, which is a thing I've had said to me in various iterations, many, many times. Turns out, while that feels very thready, It is not considered a threat, so most social media platforms do consider it free speech.

Fantastic. Multiply that by a thousand bots, and you can create quite the hostile environment to certain types of free speech by using your free speech rights. Ah, interesting. But I digress.

What does free speech really mean under the law? It's not that complicated, but it's becoming more complicated by the day. So Google will serve you up an AI summary of free speech if you ask it, but if you're not interested in relying on that, which is a little bit more dystopian than I can handle today, you can go to uscourts. gov.

[00:05:00] The Constitution says, Congress shall make no law abridging the freedom of speech. But things have developed since then, you know? Freedom of speech includes not speaking. Which more people should exercise. It covers advertising, protesting, the symbolic speech, like burning an American flag.

Yes, you can do that. I actually saw a funny clip of an interview with Stacey Abrams, the former, , Georgia state representative, recalling a moment when Georgia officially changed its state flag to remove the Confederate flag from it. And she stood outside the Georgia Capitol building with a couple other activists and she lit that old flag on fire.

But, she made sure to get a permit for lighting it on fire in a public place, and she made sure to have the metal pan to catch the ashes as per the permit requirements. I don't know, I got a kick out of that. Make the statement, but also don't give them a reason to [00:06:00] slap dumb charges on you. Smart woman!

Almost like she's had a lifetime to learn how to navigate oppression. Okay, so the First Amendment also now includes political donations as free speech, which I'm not even going to get started on that. If you're curious, Google Citizens United, if for no other reason than to see that the Citizens United organization responsible for that Supreme Court case has a 1.

3 star rating on Google. That's pretty cool. Haha. I've literally seen prisons with a higher rating. Okay, what the First Amendment does not protect is incitement to lawless action, distributing obscene material, and if you think that sounds vague, it's designed to be that way, and then a bunch of rulings about what schools can ban, basically.

Books aren't listed on there, as things schools can ban, by the way. Oh, also, you can't burn your draft card. I just, public service announcement for all [00:07:00] those people thinking of burning your draft card. You can't. It's not protected. Uh, very relevant to our modern life. protected Form of free speech.

If you spread false information that harms someone's reputation, you can be fined or given criminal charges. This is probably the most relevant restriction for authors because y'all know how those industry crusaders get going and start trying to rope everyone else in, right? And they're naming names.

They're not keeping it vague. They're not addressing a problem. They're naming names. So here's not legal advice, but maybe some common sense advice. It doesn't matter how much you think a fellow author was in the wrong. It is not worth getting involved and naming them. That is a great way to be named in a lawsuit.

Later on. Besides, all of that drama strips your attention away from writing and publishing your [00:08:00] books. If someone you know was wronged, and you're pretty sure of it, you can reach out to them and offer moral support that doesn't lead you to slandering or libeling someone else in the industry. It's possible to do that.

It's not even like threading a needle. It's more like threading the Golden Gate Bridge. It's not that hard. And yet, three major instances of a bunch of authors being pulled into legal trouble that they didn't have to be in come to my mind immediately without much mental rewinding required.

So that's what free speech is. Hate speech is actually protected speech. Interestingly enough, a lot of people think it's not, but it is. The reason it is legally protected is that it's really hard to start limiting that without setting us up for some bad news when, just say, a crazy person takes power and decides that anything that's unflattering to his ego is hate speech, it can therefore be penalized.

So even though being subject to [00:09:00] legit hate speech Sucks. And private companies like social media platforms don't actually have to allow it because they are a private company and can make their own policies. You can see where not constitutionally banning it might be very useful to dissenters, should, say, a malignant narcissist with paper thin skin come into power and want to label every true but unflattering thing people say about him as hate speech.

He's relegated to claiming its defamation, which is trickier, but still does the trick of creating a legal nightmare for whomever he chooses. I mean, were someone like that to rise to power, then those things might happen. I was just having a conversation with one of my friends from Spain the other day, and he was pointing out how Americans don't appreciate what a wonderful thing we have with the first amendment.

And I think he's right. It's an uncommon constitutional right to have globally speaking. We [00:10:00] certainly take it for granted.

I know that I use it and enjoy it all the time. I'm doing so right now. But as we're seeing, more and more of the norms for how power operates in this country are being obliterated. So I think it's important that we do ask the question, what if I lose my right to free speech? From where I sit today, I do not think it's likely that the First Amendment will somehow be erased or removed.

Maybe I'm being naive here, but I think the more likely approach we'll see is one that erodes it bit by bit with Supreme Court rulings like the Citizens United case. Authoritarianism tends to creep disguised as This idea of we have to keep you safe until suddenly you're so safe and sound that you don't have a single freedom to put yourself at risk with.

So the fact that I don't think we'll see the First Amendment overturned doesn't mean that I think it'll be applied [00:11:00] equally for everyone. And, you know, it never has been, but as imperfect as it is, it's about to be brazenly less equal in application.

So I paid close attention to the movements and strategy of the new administration in the first 48 hours, like many people did, um, the first 48 hours after What's His Name was sworn in. Um, and, so to, my goal was to figure out what their playbook would look like. So it's, We have some hints, but it's like watching a football team you follow frequently play a big game.

You know what their usual game looks like. Maybe they rely more on the passing game than the running game, but that doesn't mean that they'll do that against an opponent with, like, a strong secondary. They might have to switch it up. You don't know until you start to see the game unfold.

I'm not a political strategist. But what I noticed is that the goal of those executive [00:12:00] orders doesn't seem to be overturning existing amendments because that's too difficult. There's no power to do that. And there's no official path for it, but rather The goal is to create enough confusion around the application of the amendment so that those in power can start to benefit.

And the point is to make that application of the law dependent on what the person in power says in a given moment. Creating confusion and legal grayness seems to be the approach they're taking to claim all the power under the executive branch. So we're already seeing this with the 14th amendment and birthright citizenship.

The executive order revoking birthright citizenship, something established quite clearly under section one of the 14th amendment. It's already being challenged that executive order and it'll go up to the Supreme court. The Supreme Court would have to be going completely and blatantly [00:13:00] rogue, more so than they already have, to rule in favor of the executive order.

But it doesn't really matter what they rule, because in the meantime you have people scratching their heads. You have confusion. And in that confusion you have a lot of people who have birthright citizenship at risk of being deported, and everyone wondering if they should allow it to happen or not. And now to be.

Intellectually honest here, I'll just say that the threat applies almost entirely to people who don't appear strictly Caucasian. So if you have birthright citizenship and you're white, the risk is probably pretty low for you because it's never been about citizenship. It's always been about scapegoats.

We saw this in the 1930s with the Mexican repatriation. That was not about citizenship because it's estimated that anywhere from 30 to 60 percent of the people who were relocated to Mexico were in fact American citizens. Whoopsie! Same thing happened with Japanese internment camps. It always happens when people pull this shit.

It'll happen [00:14:00] again if you keep your eyes open. Maybe if enough eyes are open, we can keep it from happening too much. All this to say, things might get a bit fuzzy around free speech. And if that's the case, and you're starting to feel a little insane as a result, I really encourage you to take a deep breath and a step back and remember that confusion is straight out of the playbook.

You're not losing your grip. It is designed to make you feel this way. The more you doubt yourself, the less you're in a position to push back. That's why it's, frankly, not a bad strategy for power to take. It might also be helpful to summon up Brandolini's Law here. Brandolini's law is also known as the bullshit asymmetry principle.

It states, the amount of energy needed to refute bullshit is an order of magnitude bigger than that needed to produce [00:15:00] it. So this can be applied to the intentional confusion being created. It's in the best interest of your career and your mental health to spot when something is bullshit, not a lie, which is committed with grudge to the truth, but bullshit, which is.

spouted with complete disregard for reality. And when you spot that it's bullshit, don't waste your time trying to refute it. You know better. Fight back by remaining grounded in truth and facts. Bullshitters aren't going to be convinced by your facts anyway, so they do not care. You can reclaim your mind.

Bullshit, by the way, is protected under the First Amendment. So as long as it's not defamatory, people can keep doing it. And they will.

Okay, I think I've done a pretty good job of scaring the shit out of you if this is the first time you've given your First Amendment rights much thought in this new day and age we're living in. Maybe this is the place where I should start [00:16:00] explaining why you don't need to worry too much even though your author career is predicated on these rights.

There is a lot of external noise right now that is novel and feels incredibly threatening. I won't say you don't need to proceed with caution or that everything will turn out okay, but none of that was ever in our power to begin with. We could never make sure that everything turned out okay for us.

When we feel scared, it can help to turn our attention to what is still within our power. And there is a lot. Your thoughts are still within your power. You do not have to expose yourself to the anti intellectualism, what I like to call pro stupid, talking points. Those are not healthy for your head center, and we can exhaust ourselves by letting them inside of us to wage a mock trial against them.

We can be mindful of finding a [00:17:00] balance between rejecting all new information and opening ourselves up to every idea being thrown at us. Somewhere in the middle is a practice of entertaining new ideas from sources with a reputation of acting in good faith to the discussion at hand. If a source, a media outlet, an expert, an author, a neighbor, a family member, has a reputation of debating not to get to the truth but to win, that may be a source you can engage with mindfully and only when you feel the presence of mind to listen deeply without letting the bullshit lodge itself in your brain.

Now if you never find yourself feeling that way, having that mindfulness, then you can also never engage with those bad faith sources. This is okay. You have permission. Just because they have the freedom to spout nonsense doesn't mean you're stripped of your freedom to ignore it.

When you're exercising your free speech [00:18:00] through your writing, you still have the power to imagine a receptive audience who's eager for your book, rather than an audience of your critics who you somehow have to Prove yourself to, and who are probably acting in bad faith and are determined to find fault with your work no matter what.

Visualizing a receptive and supportive audience will give you the courage to say what's true for you. And not only exercise free speech, but exercise right speech.

Sometimes we write with our critics in mind, attempting to figure out how to phrase something just right so that no one will ever be able to find fault in it. This is a miserable way to be a writer, and it's a game you lose as soon as you start playing. You have the power to imagine a receptive audience to your words, and I suggest that you not hand over that freedom willingly.

Your emotions are still within your power. Yes, they are. As we change our views on the world, [00:19:00] And our role in the world, and what we can and cannot control will see our emotional reaction to events change. Something that felt like a personal rejection might not feel that way anymore. Something that we overlooked before might bring us great joy as we learn to slow down and see it. If we're tired of feeling angry, we can shift our attention to more things that bring us joy.

We can practice gratitude. If we notice ourselves feeling hopeless, we can turn to people who bring us hope. We can read history that shows us that hope is a choice and not an objective reality.

If we feel bitter about the way things are playing out externally, we can look deep inside ourselves and ask why we feel entitled to things turning out the way we want them to. From that truth, we may learn enough to let go of our bitterness. We may feel sad and learn that it's not weakness or a moral failing, but that we're allowed to feel sad [00:20:00] and we then give ourselves space to feel it so that we can have it pass all the way through us and make space for other emotions to come in.

It's when we pretend. We cannot control what emotions we feel, that we give up this important power and hand it over to whomever wishes to abuse it. The power hungry want every bit of us under their control. Learning how to alchemize our emotions into a liberating rather than depressing force is one of the most radically free things we can do.

If you give up power over your heart, your books will show it. But through your free speech, you can touch the hearts of people in ways that keep them free and encourage them to practice their free and right speech with others. Now you may not see yourself or even want to see yourself as some sort of activist through your writing.

Okay. But I can tell you right now that every time we speak, and this includes writing books, we're either encouraging [00:21:00] liberation or we're encouraging oppression. Our protagonists don't have to be perfect, and we don't have to write allegories for this to be true. Many, many people want to pretend. That this is not the case because of the responsibility this truth places on them for what they bring into existence through their stories.

They may not want to face that they've been proliferating narratives that encourage control and oppression over liberation. And I'm not telling you what you have to do here. But if you want to see things clearly, this is how they look. What you say can liberate or it can oppress. What you write can liberate or it can oppress.

You're free to do either. And lastly, your actions. Are still within your power. What you choose to say and not say is within your power, how you choose to conduct yourself, that freedom is still yours. You may feel like I have no choice, but that's your fear. [00:22:00] Talking. You always have a choice. E courage is the choice to act in a way aligned to your values.

Despite fear, fearlessness and courage are not the same thing. I've been fearless, rushing into situations, and when people called it courageous, I was like, wait, was that dangerous? It hadn't even occurred to me to be afraid, so it couldn't be courageous. Because only when we're afraid but act with integrity anyway can we be called courageous.

You don't need to be fearless in your career, but you might decide to be courageous. You might decide to speak up and speak out through your books or elsewhere. against actions and ideas that are being proliferated and forced by those in power. The authors who don't see how much has fundamentally changed in the last month are speaking up and speaking out fearlessly. Those of us who see the seismic shift are speaking up. and speaking out courageously.

You may face pushback or punishment for [00:23:00] exercising your right for free speech. I won't say otherwise. And if you choose to hold your tongue from time to time or pick your battles, there's certainly some wisdom in that. Here's my Enneagram type one swooping in though.

I don't think that the darkness and confusion we're experiencing right now will last forever. I think there will be a time when we make it to the other side of it. And when we do, each of us will be faced with the decisions we made along the way. I don't have to live with your decisions, but I will have to live with mine.

The more decisions we make out of fear along the road, the more difficult it will be to look at ourselves through a mirror of truth and honesty without averting our eyes. I don't have to live with your decisions. I only have to live with mine. That's why I'm exercising my right to free speech, as I believe is granted to me, to record this podcast.[00:24:00]

I know it will not be universally well received. Not just because of the message, but because of some of my snarky delivery. You know what? That doesn't keep me from falling asleep at night. What does keep me from falling asleep at night is knowing that I had a chance to speak the truth that might liberate others, but that I let my fear stop me.

That I let my perfectionism step in and say, no, you don't know how to do it perfectly yet. You have to wait until you know how to do it perfectly. What keeps me up at night is the idea that I let the threat of a pro stupid oligarchy and their cowardly pick me minions keep me silent.

No thanks. Not for me. So if you're wondering, what if we lose the right to free speech, I'll tell you this.

The right is not within anyone's power to take away from you. You always get to decide how [00:25:00] you think, feel, and act, which means you always get to decide what to say and what not to say. The consequences of doing so may vary, but it's still your choice. Never let anyone convince you it's not.

When I look back on some of the times we now consider to be the darkest in history, I see people sustained by the stories of authors like you and me. Maybe these stories had to be circulated secretly, and maybe there was an effort to burn the books that carried these stories, but the stories spread. Now, some of the stories and narratives being spread lately are ones of fear, designed to scare and confuse us.

So we need stories that counteract that.

Whether you write comedy, romance, sci fi, horror, mystery, or anything in between, your stories can move the needle, for those who read them, toward courage and liberation or toward fear and [00:26:00] oppression. That's a whole hell of a lot of power we have, and it's why dictators like to ban free speech. They know.

But sometimes we forget.

I can't tell you that your free speech will be free from consequences. It never has been before anyway. But I can tell you that sometimes the consequences are ones we quite like.

Ignoring the power and responsibility we have as authors doesn't make it go away, it just makes us irresponsible and frequently complicit. Sorry. That's just the shit part of empowerment. When you claim the power you have, you kind of have to take responsibility for it. That's why so many people prefer to pursue.

Power over others instead of their own empowerment.

So I guess that's it. That's it for this week's dystopian as fuck episode. They can't all feel good, right? I hope you'll join me for the next episode of What If for Authors. [00:27:00] I'm Claire Taylor. Happy writing.

Episode 38: What if I'm not consistent?

Episode Description:

Welcome back to What If? For Authors! In this episode, Claire tackles the often-preached but rarely questioned idea of consistency in the writing world. If you've ever felt stressed about not maintaining a perfect daily writing habit or worried that inconsistency might ruin your career, this episode is for you.

Key Highlights:

• Why Consistency Gets Overhyped:

  • Many authors are told that success depends on consistent daily output, but is that really true?

  • Claire shares her frustrations with the industry’s obsession over this idea and why it may not be the golden rule we think it is.

• The Problem with the "One Size Fits All" Approach:

  • Some writers thrive on daily word counts; others don’t.

  • The myth that consistency guarantees success vs. the reality of different creative rhythms.

• The Hidden Truth: You’re Already Consistent in Important Ways

  • Everyone has consistent patterns in how they think, feel, and act.

  • From how you handle plot holes to how you react to surprise opportunities—your personality is already shaping your writing patterns.

  • The Enneagram perspective: different types naturally approach consistency differently, and that’s okay.

Support the Show: If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share it with your fellow authors.

Join the Conversation:
Share your thoughts and questions by reaching out to Claire at contact@ffs.media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm so glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor, and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors, as well as a humor and mystery writer. My latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, is all about how to root out the unsustainable practices in our writing life to avoid burnout and to spot the right opportunities for us when they come along.

Check it out by going to ffs. media forward slash sustain.

I'm excited to talk about today's episode because it's a topic that I am so goddamn tired of hearing about, and I want to put it to bed once and for all. That is what fun looks like for me. Settling the matter so I can stop hearing perfectly good and reasonable authors stress over something they heard someone tell them they were lacking, but that is apparently crucial to success?

I don't know. That is, of course, Today's episode about being consistent. We're going to ask [00:01:00] the question, what if I'm not consistent?

I hear this question a lot in coaching sessions. And to be clear, I'm not upset with or even annoyed at the people who ask it and worry about it. I'm more frustrated with the people who are out there preaching it as the only way to make it as an author. The only path to author heaven. I know you've heard it.

You've heard people make this claim before. People say success is not about anything other than being consistent each day. It's the writing 500 words each day adds up to 15, 000 words in a month, and four months of that turns into a novel. Okay, great. But what if I can't get myself to write 500 words a day?

What if trying to do that turns into a complete mental shit show of constantly feeling behind because I missed a day here and missed a day there? And then what if I force myself to write 500 words and there's such [00:02:00] absolute shit that I can't get myself to write again for a week? On and on. Right?

Now, the people who really preach consistent daily output as key to author success, I, you know, they pro they mean well. Let's just say they mean well. We'll just give them that generous assumption. It probably works for them. But I wouldn't necessarily bet on it. Some people will preach keys to success for others, while they themselves cannot necessarily use those keys.

When I hear someone in our industry talk about any one key to their success, and it's frequently consistency that they name, it reminds me of when local TV stations interview someone at their 100th birthday party, and then they ask them, What's the key to a long life? And the person often looking like they'd rather not have made it this far will say something like, drink whiskey every day and shout at your neighbors. [00:03:00] It's like, okay, you might've done those things every day, but there could be other ways to live to 100. And also considering your habits. You're probably just very lucky to make it this far.

My great grandma claimed that eating a plain bowl of oatmeal every morning was how she made it to 103. Worth it? Probably not. Effective? Also probably not, though fiber is always nice as we age. So that's a little of how I feel about this idea of consistency, specifically consistency and output as a writer.

If you're wondering, I don't have a single daily habit except for like brushing my teeth and getting worked up about something. Those are the only two things I can consistently say I do every day.

And yet, I feel like I've been pretty successful in my business despite that overall [00:04:00] lack of inconsistent output. Or maybe because of it, you know? Maybe it's brushing my teeth every day that has made me this successful. Maybe that is the key. If I make it past 100, which I probably won't, but if I make it past 100, I'm gonna tell everyone that that's why.

Okay, whatever. So let's get on the same page about what we talk about when we talk about consistency. I've kind of defined it, but it feels like it's this moving target. Right? What does consistency mean? It's, it's going to be different to everyone else. Everyone's going to have these associations with it.

These emotional associations, these mental associations, maybe even like physical associations with it. So it's not super well defined just by itself. Do we need to write every day? Right? Is that what consistency is? And now, when I hear people talk about consistency, it is generally a consistency of output or a consistency of a particular behavior, , [00:05:00] related to your writing.

It could be emailing one person each day, you know, whatever it is. But is this an everyday thing? Is this a every weekday thing? Like, can we take, uh, weekends and still be successful? Is this a once a week thing? Is this a every hour thing? Like, what time frame are we even talking about here? It really starts to seem silly and arbitrary upon even basic scrutiny.

So I will say I've consistently written some fiction every year. I've consistently published at least one book every year since 2014. Am I a consistent author? How are we going to define this, right? How can we pass a verdict on whether or not I'm a consistent author? I'm consistently unproductive in December.

So I take it off. Does that count as consistency? Right, so what does it even mean? What [00:06:00] time frame of consistency is virtuous? Which one is the key to success? And the answer is None of them, right? There is no virtue in consistency. There is no guarantee from consistency. So it may be time for us to let go of the idea of consistency altogether.

Just stop worrying about it. But Claire, don't I want my books in a series or under a single pen name to be consistent? I mean, sure, that can be a goal, but you don't have to work that hard on it. So more times than not, it'll just happen. Right? There'll be a thread of consistency, even if you don't see it.

And the worrying about, is my voice consistent here, doesn't do what you think it does. This is important. A lot of the time, we worry because we think it will motivate us in some way. And in fact, it only makes us miserable. It doesn't do the thing we [00:07:00] think it does.

But Claire, doesn't it help to have a consistent release schedule? I mean, people claim it does. But does it help sales enough for you to make yourself sick over it? Which is something I see people do all the time to meet their arbitrary deadlines. That just sort of bow down at the altar of consistency.

Hell no, it's not worth that. We don't even know. I know plenty of people who publish consistently and don't see a return from it. So it is not a guarantee. And here's the hidden truth beneath all of that. Everyone is consistent. Even if you don't think of yourself as consistent, you're consistent in important ways.

That's because you have a personality. You have patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing that are consistent by default. We call these cognitive, emotional, and behavioral schema. For instance, you hit a plot hole in [00:08:00] your book. What do you do? Your reaction, whatever it is, is probably pretty consistent each time.

Let's say your friend calls you out of the blue during your writing time. Whether you pick up for that person or not is probably pretty consistent.

Someone with a bit of industry prestige asks you to join an anthology. Your emotional response will be pretty consistent with other times this has happened. So our patterns of personality are consistent when we zoom out and stop defining consistency in terms of timeframes and output. I had a friend send me a meme the other day, and this is a good friend who knows me well, so no need to get offended on my behalf, but it was one of those like text memes, like a tweet or a thread or something.

And it said, Hey, my curse has been lifted. Want to hang out? He said, this is what being friends with me is like, and like, I can't, I can't argue, I can't, it's too [00:09:00] accurate, you know? Uh, so my good friends know that sometimes I get in over my head with life and maybe the depression kicks in and all my energy goes toward just keeping my business from collapsing in on itself.

So as far as they're concerned, I kind of. Go dark, I disappear. Then one day I resurface and text, you know, everyone I know, Hey, sorry I've been quiet. Depression at work. Let's hang out soon. And yeah, sometimes it's also a curse and I have a story about how I had to go see a brujo or psychic to get it lifted.

Even in my inconsistency. You see enough consistency that astute and caring friends recognize that sometimes I disappear for a month and then resurface, and I'm still eager to be their friend. It's nothing personal. Claire is just like this.

When you look at your life in this way, you'll start to see all the ways you're consistent, along with those ways that you feel inconsistent.

You're both things. So Enneagram work is about noticing our many, many consistent patterns and asking if that consistency is working for us anymore, [00:10:00] or if we want to be mischievously inconsistent and try something new. Speaking of the Enneagram, there are going to be types that prefer the traditional kind of consistency that do something over time every day until small efforts turn into large rewards kind of consistency.

And there are going to be types that just naturally want to vomit thinking about that.

If you're a 2, 4, 7, or 8, You're going to naturally have built in resistance to this narrow idea of consistency, but it's for different reasons by type. So 2s struggle with consistency in their schedule, usually because the people around them struggle with it. So if a 2 hasn't done work around their emotional boundaries, then their ability to stick to any kind of schedule is going to depend on everyone else's ability to stick to the 2's schedule, which is Just not going to work.

It's not going to happen. Mathematically, it's not going to happen. So let's say the 2 has 10 family members or good friends who rely on them regularly. And [00:11:00] that's maybe a low estimation for a 2. What are the odds that none of them will call, text, or ask for help during the 2's designated writing time?

That is, if the two even has allowed themselves to have designated writing time. Just putting that on the schedule might feel selfish to a two. So sometimes twos relegate their writing and marketing time to whenever they can fit it in between people needing them. And then, surprise, surprise, they go days without it happening.

Because there's a whole tag team of people in your life who need you, right? And then when the two does have some time to themselves, All they can focus on is the problems and needs of other people anyway because that's where their attention has been flowing all Those pathways are very strong and wide open.

Consistency for a two might look like silencing their phone or putting it in another room between certain hours of the day when nobody will die if they are unreachable. If you have a kid in school, [00:12:00] make sure there's another adult listed as the emergency contact besides you. It won't feel good at first.

It'll feel selfish. It'll feel irresponsible. It'll feel like you're letting people down. But if you want to write the book, you have to protect your emotional boundaries. And the way to do that is to not have constant reminders of everyone else's needs. Cause that is the first place your attention will flow.

So you gotta cut it off just temporarily. Don't worry. People won't be mad at you. And if they are, that's their problem. but probably it will be fine every single time you do this. And the only way to find out is to test it out. Fours are the type that I see beat themselves up over being inconsistent the most because they hold this fantasy idea of what consistency would do for them.

But listen up fours, you're not built for it. And that's just as it should be. Your job, your contribution as a writer is to think outside of the box, explore the unusual and [00:13:00] the deep. And that isn't something that always works on a strict schedule. Now, I do think that a lot of fours benefit from sitting down at a scheduled time throughout the week to think about their manuscript, whether or not that leads to words or whether or not it's a set time each day.

But getting that on the calendar, because it's easy for that same gift of creative thinking to insist that it not be tethered to reality. And then suddenly the four is letting their moods dictate everything, when a little bit of wrangling would help bring the fantasy of the heart into the action reality.

But there is a difference between me telling you Put a couple hours on your calendar a few times a week to sit and focus on your book and Now you're in the creative military, brilliance starts at oh seven hundred hours, right? Big difference.

Now sevens thrive on novelty and their important contribution is to present joyful, whimsical, and interesting things to the world as authors. So to do that you have to explore, [00:14:00] dabble, experiment, But you also have to come back at some point with something to present. So the consistency trap for Seven tends to come from the way their gift of dabbling has been treated growing up.

Almost nothing about going to a traditional school and doing homework encourages that Seven's sort of dip in and dip out behavior. But Seven's are Made to break free from that, so that the rest of us don't get stuck with the same stale ideas and experiences forever. Can the strive for novelty go too far?

Absolutely. It can lead to a Seven never finishing a novel, which never leads to their core desire of satisfaction. So seeking stimulation can prevent ever feeling satisfaction. That's a very important lesson for Sevens to learn. Some rules. Transcripts can help here, but we want to make sure that the Seven is an active participant in the rulemaking [00:15:00] process.

What I mean is that maybe the rule is something like, I'll only have two works in progress ongoing at the same time. The Seven has to agree that it's a reasonable rule and stick to it. So when a new idea comes along that holds their interest, they can create a process a set of if then rules on what to do.

For instance, if I have a new book idea come along, and I'm already maxed out at my two books, I'll ask myself if I can fold the ideas into the current book or series. And if that isn't possible, then I'll give myself an hour to jot down as much of it as I can think of before putting it in an idea folder out of sight.

So there's consistency baked into this with these sort of internalized rules, but it's not the kind of consistency that makes a 7 want to crawl out of their skin. It's that balance. 8s will not follow the consistency imposed on them by other people unless they've done a lot of [00:16:00] work around their relationship to external authority, which most .

Have not, it takes, it takes a lot for an eight to start to, , work on that because they can do a lot of things to never have to work on it. Now the fun thing is when eights set a schedule for themselves to charge ahead with an audacious project, they will often rebel against their own schedule, feeling like it has become an external authority trying to control them.

Yes, eights. I see you. You want to be able to follow your gut and passion at any moment without feeling controlled, even by your past self. And that, you are pretty consistent. So you may want to grind away at a project until it's finished, rather than stopping at a set time and moving on to something else.

That's all fine. Consistency is only ever a concept meant to support you, not to control you. But you might consider that [00:17:00] not everything has to be all or nothing. If you stop before you're finished or before you've dropped over, you're practicing a lot of healthy eightness, like mercy and self compassion, and you'll see the benefits of that the next day.

Maybe taking a break before you fall over from exhaustion isn't a sign of weakness, but a sign of self mastery. Sixes and nines tend to need others involved to reach some kind of consistent routine, which It's also perfectly acceptable. No better or worse than how others achieve their own kind of consistency of actions. Just different. So, Sixes like to feel responsible for getting the tasks done, and they like to get a little recognition for being reliable.

They may also appreciate someone they trust looking at their plan and saying yeah, it looks solid.

Nine's like co working because, , being in harmony with others and feeling connected is how they can get momentum on a task. It used to boggle [00:18:00] my mind how I would start emptying the dishwasher and then John would immediately jump up from whatever he was doing to help me empty the dishwasher. So I wanted to be like, hey, this is a one person job. Go find literally anything else to clean. That was my oneness coming through. But then I recognized that as a nine, he likely had been thinking that he needed to empty the dishwasher, but it wasn't until I sort of initiated the action that he was finally able to break through the inertia and be motivated enough to get going.

The idea of doing it together and that sort of connectedness was enough motivation. Or, okay, maybe he just thinks that if I do it by myself all the time, I'll be resentful and he's trying to keep the peace, but I think it's more likely that. Nine likes doing activities along with other people.

It creates a sense of connection. So if you're a nine, don't be afraid to find people to co work with.

Ones, threes, and fives are the most likely types, I would say, to not only practice the [00:19:00] traditional idea of daily consistency of time and task I talked about, but also to preach it to others. This is a competency type thing, so don't worry too much about it. Again, there's no virtue in it, but 1s, 3s, and 5s approach conflict by trying to be more correct, efficient, or capable, respectively.

Each finds some comfort in consistency, or in appearing consistent, so they're more likely to head in that direction. Now, to be fair, I've already talked about how I don't consider myself to be highly consistent, and you're probably curious because I am a 1. There are probably a few things happening here.

First, nobody, and I mean nobody, will notice every bit of inconsistency in my schedule better than I will. Didn't complete all the tasks on my calendar before I went to bed? Oh yeah, I'm aware. Acutely aware. Now, I manage the voice in my head that reminds me how undisciplined. I [00:20:00] was each day so that it doesn't ruin my life, but it still talks to me.

It's still jabbering away. So tag today, for example, I only got five hours of sleep, which is not enough for me. I hibernate. Um, and so then when I sat down on my purple couch to do my writing, I fell asleep. I fell asleep. Bad Claire. But whatever, right? So everything's going to be fine. This is what I tell myself when my inner one, my inner critic goes, bad Claire, you fell asleep.

You're lazy. You'll never make it in this world, kid. I just say, everything's going to be fine. Nobody cares. So for me. Nobody cares is very liberating for sometimes it's not going to feel liberating, but the way I say it to myself, nobody cares. Ugh, it's such a relief. There's, I think people don't understand sometimes how ones can care so intensely about everything.

But. It is [00:21:00] true. So when I go, nobody cares, that includes me. And it's really nice. So I see the voice, I talk to it, I move on. All that said, when other people hear about how I operate my business, and maybe they, they see my calendar, they tend to classify my processes as, consistent.

I don't, but they do. And this is why comparison is useless for getting closer to the truth.

But I also think that my other eight types might be playing a role here. So we have all nine types inside of us. I'm definitely a one as my dominant type, but my second highest, I think it's, they might be tied. One might be slightly higher than the other are eight and seven. Both types that need a lot of wiggle room and can get bored with doing the same thing every day.

So I build in possibilities for that in my calendar, which is a very one way of approaching such a thing.

Clearly when I [00:22:00] talk about the type's relationship to the traditional idea of consistency, I'm speaking in generalities here. Not only because we have all nine types inside of us to varying degrees of influence, but also because we have individual biographies that influence this sort of thing. Raised in a strict military household where consistency was king, that might influence your relationship with it.

Raised as a free range kid or have to raise yourself because your parents were working or otherwise absent, that might influence your relationship with it. It's worth contemplating how our upbringing might have influenced our relationship with consistency. Putting it on a pedestal, causing us to yearn for it, or making us want to reject it altogether.

Consistency, that is, doing the same thing every day or every week for our author business, having a consistent output, is also a privilege that we don't all have. Maybe you work weird hours at your primary place of employment. Maybe you have kids. Notoriously inconsistent [00:23:00] little things, or you have an aging parent to take care of.

Sometimes I see people push away other important parts of their life simply to cling to consistency, and I don't think that's the way to find what you're truly looking for either.

And then there's chronic illness. Womp womp. No matter how much I'd like to be consistent, my mental and physical health are like Cute, but no. If you have mental or physical illness that can show up unexpectedly, tormenting yourself about how it causes you to be inconsistent really helps nothing. And is an unnecessary pattern of thinking and feeling that you are free to experiment with letting go of. Now, your brain thinks tormenting you about being inconsistent might be just the motivation you need to become consistent.

But when you look at all the evidence, [00:24:00] all that actually does is increase your stress and negative emotions, which is not useful for managing either mental or physical illness. It's, it's very bad, it's not helpful, um, and it's a lie, so you can just let it go. So if you're wondering, what if I'm not consistent, I will say, you are consistent in a lot of ways.

And in the one way you're thinking of, consistency of output, it doesn't actually matter. Not everyone is meant to be consistent in their writing and work habits on a daily basis. Now it's really useful for the bottom line of any large business or corporation if they can rely on consistent human output, and so we get that shit shoved down our throats as Virtuous in this large scale pro capitalist propaganda campaign, but a lot of us do our best work in this world if we stop worrying about consistent output.

What builds a [00:25:00] business is progress over time, but it doesn't have to average out to the same amount of progress every day, week, month, or even year. Castigating and berating ourselves because we don't feel consistent enough with our output and efforts doesn't motivate us the way we think it will. It mostly causes us pain and damages our relationship with ourselves.

Believe it or not, our life will be better if we just let that go. Just think about it. When was the last time talking shit to yourself made you feel genuinely better in your life? You are consistently you in ways you probably don't even see. But your friends do, your readers do, you for the ways you are consistently you. If you feel like you're not accomplishing enough in your career, first challenge yourself to define what the hell enough even looks like and where you concocted that idea.

It might be [00:26:00] super arbitrary and not stand up to even basic scrutiny. So if after you do that, you still feel like some of your consistent patterns are no longer ones you want to keep up, and you're open to trying new ones, come book a session with me, and I can give you the personalized attention and direction you're looking for.

What works for one person will not work for another, so let's figure out what works for you. That's it for this week's episode of What If for Authors. I'm Claire Taylor. Still, consistently Claire Taylor. Uh, thanks for joining me each week. Or maybe you wait for a few weeks and then you binge episodes. It ain't about consistency.

I appreciate you listening whatever you do. I hope you'll join me for the next episode whenever you get around to it. Happy writing.

Episode 37: What if I'm a thinking-oriented writer?

Episode Description:

Welcome to another episode of What If? For Authors! This week, Claire dives into the topic of thinking-oriented writers and explores how leading from the head center can shape your writing process.

Key Takeaways:

• Understanding the Centers of Intelligence: The Enneagram divides personality patterns into three centers—thinking (head), feeling (heart), and action (body/gut). Learn what it means to lead from the head center as a writer.

• How Thinking-Oriented Writers Approach Writing:

  • Fives: Intellectual problem solvers who thrive on discovery writing but may struggle with revisions.

  • Sixes: Planners who sometimes over-rely on outside validation but have incredible gut instincts when they trust themselves.

  • Sevens: Action-driven writers who crave mental stimulation and often benefit from keeping surprises in their drafts.

• Balancing Your Strengths and Blind Spots: Discover how thinking-oriented writers can navigate challenges in their writing, whether that means adding emotional depth or pacing up their narratives.

• Practical Tips for Thinking-Oriented Writers:

  • Don’t overthink your process—sometimes the best way to solve a plot issue is to dive in and write through it.

  • Revisions can address areas like pacing, emotion, or over-explanation without compromising your unique style.

Support the Show: If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share it with your fellow authors.

Join the Conversation:
Share your thoughts and questions by reaching out to Claire at contact@ffs.media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If For Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors, as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain. Let's head straight into today's topic because I think it's a nice and sensible one to focus our attention on for a bit.

Today's episode asks, What if I'm a thinking oriented writer? In the Enneagram, we talk about thinking, feeling, and action centers, sometimes called the head, heart, and body centers. Sometimes the body center is called the gut center. All the same, what we're talking about when we talk about these centers is cognitive, emotional, and behavioral schema.

The patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing that we tend to follow as default.

Certain Enneagram types tend to favor one of these three centers of intelligence, we call them, over the other two, and it's [00:01:00] incredibly useful to figure out which one we default to first. It's also useful to think about how the other two show up, or if they even show up at all in certain situations.

Today though, I'm going to focus on those who are thinking oriented as their default. Those who lead from the head center, And how that may be showing up in your writing life. There's no better or worse center to lead from, so I'll clear that up right off the bat. We do run into problems when we try to have our head center do the work of the other two centers, which is pretty common.

So this would look like thinking about our feelings rather than feeling them, which is important to do for emotional and mental health, to feel our feelings. Or sometimes this is trying to justify a gut instinct before we allow ourselves to take action on it, or mistrusting our intuition because it, it doesn't make logical sense to our head center. Those things sound familiar, you [00:02:00] might be a thinking oriented writer. That's how I define it. In my experience working with a lot of thinking oriented writers, , we love solving mysteries. A lot of thinking oriented writers find themselves in genres that lend themselves that like mystery or even horror.

If you write something like romance, the hero and heroine tend to be fairly logical and you'll find that the conflict isn't particularly emotion packed so much as almost logistical.

Types 7 are considered the head center types, they are in the head center of intelligence. But I wouldn't say that 5, 6, and 7 always show up as thinking oriented people. So it's important to not rule ourselves out as thinking oriented writers just because we're not a 5, 6, or 7. And it's important to not assume that we must be one because we're one of those three types.

Fives, yeah, these are thinking oriented writers by and large. This is a very thinky type. by nature. And if you're a five, you've likely been called [00:03:00] cerebral, thoughtful, intelligent, and intellectual for most of your life. So this doesn't come as a surprise to you, I'm sure. But here's the thing, just because you're a thinking oriented writer doesn't mean that you're not an intuitive writer.

This is where a lot of fives get tripped up. I see it a lot because fives do almost everything in their lives logically. And with a sense of rationality behind it, they may expect themselves to be hard lined plotters in their writing. A lot of fives enjoy reading all the plotting books, but when they try to apply that to their drafting, they get stuck.

First of all, you cannot possibly apply all the different plotting techniques to a single manuscript. And what really draws fives in and gets them hooked is solving puzzles, simplifying things that are complicated. That's it for fives. Fives love that. For this reason, a lot of fives are actually pancers, also called discovery writers, at their core.

It's like [00:04:00] throwing all the puzzle pieces onto the table. The payoff for these fives comes from slowly seeing them all click into place to create something coherent. A lot of fives are built to be intuitive drafters.

Now sometimes this intuition , is best enjoyed by a five during the plotting stage, but not always. So I just want to point that out. And if you are an intuitive drafter, I encourage it. It may feel so contrary to how most things in your life unfold, but you still have a gut. intuition that needs to be exercised and expressed.

And if writing is a place where that comes most easily to you, then definitely do it.

If you're a five who's already accepted that you're an intuitive writer, the next place where you might run into trouble is revisions. This is where your thinking center is going to snap online in a big way. And you may be trying to impose literal and logical thinking to sentences that are more abstract and expressive.

And that can create a little bit of a traffic [00:05:00] jam. Those sentences might be best left untouched, but your thinking center is like, but technically that's a sentence fragment, not a complete sentence, so I should change it.

Revisions can start to feel painful if not impossible when these two centers, your head and your gut, collide in this way. Realizing that this is the case, though, can help you practice taking a hands off approach in your revisions. If it's not absolutely wrong, like a typo or a homophone error, maybe your default can be to leave it untouched.

You can make whatever rules help you along, but noticing that your drafting may be coming from a different center of intelligence than your revision can help solve the mystery of why you feel such tension in that process.

The way sixes tend to be thinking oriented writers appears a little differently. Regardless of whether a six leans more toward the pantser or plotter end of the continuum, they tend to cling tightly to outlining and established plotting tools in their process. So this [00:06:00] is less out of necessity and more out of the six's tendency toward self doubt.

The six may naturally assume that anyone else understands how to write better than they do. This can lead to the six struggling to make decisions along the way. Getting stuck at crossroads in their plot and possibly hearing their intuition tell them which path to take but ignoring the information because they don't trust it unless someone they perceive to be an authority validates it as well.

Not all sixes run into this problem, but if you're a six and you find yourself wondering which of the million outlining processes to follow, you may be misjudging what the real issue is. The real issue is likely that you believe there is a right way to write the book and someone else knows how to do it.

But, you are the only one who stands a chance of figuring out how to write your book. And the secret about sixes is that when they let go of the fear of getting it wrong, what they're able to hear below that is an incredibly sharp gut instinct. [00:07:00] A lot of times sixes look more like action types than thinking types because of this.

So if you're a six and you find yourself in that pattern of doubt where you're at a plodding crossroad and you don't know which direction to go, just pick one and take it. There's no wrong here. Right is whichever path you pick, and the path you didn't pick never existed, and never will, and that is as it must be.

See if you can lighten your grip on how others tell you to plot, and get to the root of who your characters are. They'll know the way forward, so listen to them when they tell you where to go.

Sevens are also head center types that don't usually look like thinking oriented writers, and often are not. Sevens are often more action oriented writers. They want to be writing. They want things to be moving along. When things aren't moving fast enough, they may start another project. Some sevens are more obviously thinking oriented writers, though.

It's just that they need the manuscript to be incredibly mentally [00:08:00] stimulating before they're able to take action on it and write the next scene. So if you're a thinking oriented seven, use this to your advantage. If you find your attention drifting from your work in progress, challenge yourself to amp up the excitement and mental stimulation in the story.

Give yourself a surprise twist to work around. I've coached a handful of Seppans who work better with an outline ahead of time, but by and large, outlining your book or writing beats ahead of starting is a great way for a seven to lose all interest in writing the damn thing. All the surprises and shock have already been experienced, essentially.

You know all the twists and turns. There's not enough juice left in the squeeze to keep you slogging through all that typing anymore. For most sevens, dropping in a few signposts along the way is about all I would recommend insofar as plotting out your book in advance. You kind of know how it's going to start, you know a little bit about your protagonist and antagonist, like maybe their Enneagram types.

And you have a slight idea about a few scenes, or maybe even how you might want things to [00:09:00] resolve. That might be what balance looks like between a little bit of healthy focus and a map to keep you pointed in a reasonable direction, and not spoiling all the fun of Discovery and Surprise for you. You'll have to find your sweet spot, but I do want to give any Seven listening to this permission to not plot.

If you find that it spoils the fun of drafting. Your brain likes surprises, novelty, and if it doesn't have that in your project, it's going to start looking elsewhere for it. So work with what you got. If your attention starts waning, throw in something unexpected.

All that being said, the way you look, thinking, action, or emotion oriented, and , , the triad that you fall into if you're a thinking center of intelligence or not, It's all relative, right? It really is about looking at how you function and asking these important questions about it. So it's important to spend a little time asking where you fall here.

Other types can function like thinking oriented writers too, can be [00:10:00] thinking oriented writers. I'm sort of an even split between thinking and action. I like to write beats ahead of time, but not too extensively. And then I, Discover things as I draft and often let my intuition take me away from my beats.

If you really pressed me to pick one, I would say I'm an action oriented author first. Knowing what your top two centers are and what your lowest center is can help you see a blind spot in your writing and correct for that. So for thinking oriented writers, if your lowest center, that is the one you have the toughest time connecting to, is your heart center, your emotional center.

Then your books may have a complex plot, logical characters, and fast moving action, but you might not be leaving room for your character's emotions to really come through. You might not be giving readers an opportunity to connect to your characters on an emotional level as a result of that. For authors who recognize that their heart center is their least developed center, one thing I recommend if you're looking to level up your writing is to add [00:11:00] in a revision pass to your next manuscript where you jump scene to scene and check in to make it clear What your characters are feeling in that moment.

Check on the emotional arc of your characters and see if it's coherent and consistent. Ask how you can dial up the emotions to make their motivations clearer to the reader. You don't have to slow all the pacing to a crawl when you do this. And I suggest that you don't. So a little bit of these touches goes a long way toward keeping the readers from wondering, why would she do that?

Emotions are really important information for readers. If your least developed center is the action center, then your stories might need a little bit of a boost with pacing. You're probably good on plot threads, complications, and maybe even emotions, but you may want to do a revision pass and ask yourself, where am I over explaining or making things so complicated that the action has to slow down to a crawl to allow for all the information to be conveyed?

Not every book has to be a page turning thriller, but even epics can [00:12:00] get bogged down if they go too long without action, without things happening in the physical world rather than merely in the minds and hearts of the characters. Bringing your attention to this as you revise will help you find places where you can cut a little bit of rumination within your characters and keep things moving without losing any sort of important information.

Again, it doesn't have to be major revisions, but just start to notice where you're spending a lot of time in the hearts and minds, through inner monologue or conversation, and consider how you can show their thoughts and feelings through action instead. Being a thinking oriented writer has its benefits.

And it has its challenges. It always will. But bringing awareness to the fact that you are a thinking oriented writer, that it's valid, and that you won't approach things the same way as an emotion oriented or action oriented writer is important to being able to adequately manage both your gifts and your blind spots.

My number one tip for thinking oriented [00:13:00] writers is that you can't know everything just by thinking. Sometimes it takes doing to gather the information you need. Sometimes the only way to solve the plot problem is to start writing through it, to dive in and see what comes up. You might be pleasantly surprised, or you might be like, that didn't work at all, but you'll know more either way.

Not all knowledge can be gained from the realm of the theoretical. Sometimes you need to run the experiment, and get your hands dirty in it, to learn what you need to keep going. So if you're wondering, what if I'm a thinking oriented writer, then I'll say, great. You have gifts that others will appreciate, you may also have some blind spots around emotion and action, but those are things you can build into your process to great effect.

Trying to do things like an action or emotion oriented writer may not work for you, but bringing a little bit of awareness to how you approach writing can go a long way toward avoiding the pitfalls associated with fear based, unproductive thinking. That is, hoping [00:14:00] you can feel certain about an outcome before you take any action.

If you can learn to differentiate between thinking about your feelings and feeling your feelings, you'll be in a great place. And your mind will be more freed up to do what it's made to do, rather than trying to jump in and take over the job of the heart center and the body center. If you're a thinking oriented writer, fantastic.

The world needs your kind of books and your logical and conceptual approach to storytelling. There are readers who are craving it in every genre. That's it for this week's topic. I'm Claire Taylor, and thanks for joining me for another episode of What If for Authors.

I hope you'll come back next time. If you enjoy these episodes, if they've brought you any kind of insight into yourself at all, I would greatly appreciate if you left a rating and review on iTunes, Spotify, or wherever you listen to this podcast. And if you listen to it on YouTube, I hope you'll subscribe to my channel, where I will be posting a lot more videos in 2025. Happy [00:15:00] writing!

Episode 36: What if I can't hold it all together?

Episode Description:

Welcome back to What If? For Authors! In this thought-provoking episode, Claire dives into a topic that resonates deeply with many authors: the fear of losing control when juggling life's many responsibilities. Fresh off a much-needed vacation, Claire reflects on the importance of stepping back, questioning the pressures we put on ourselves, and identifying patterns that lead to unnecessary stress.

She explores why we take on so much responsibility, how our desire for control drives this behavior, and the toll it takes on our mental and physical well-being. Through relatable anecdotes, actionable insights, and a compassionate approach, Claire challenges listeners to reconsider what they're truly responsible for and where they can let go.

What You'll Learn in This Episode:

• Why many authors fall into the trap of being "responsibility addicts"

• How taking responsibility can create a false sense of control over unpredictable outcomes

• The impact of excessive responsibility on your mental and physical health

• How perfectionism and over-commitment often mask deeper fears

• Practical strategies to identify and release unnecessary responsibilities

• Why focusing on what you can control—your thoughts, feelings, and actions—leads to freedom and meaningful influence

Key Takeaways:

• Let go of the reins: You’re not holding as much together as you think, and that’s liberating.

• Challenge your thoughts: Not every thought you have is a fact. Question the stories your brain tells you.

• Spot the lies: If you're taking on tasks for a sense of control rather than measurable results, it might be time to reassess.

• Focus on influence, not control: Shift your attention inward to the things you can control, like your mindset and actions, and let the ripple effects unfold naturally.

• Embrace imperfection: Perfectionism is an anxiety response, not a badge of honor. Free yourself from its grip.

Support the Show: If you enjoyed this episode, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share it with your fellow authors.

Join the Conversation:
Share your thoughts and questions by reaching out to Claire at contact@ffs.media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book for authors, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain.

I have been on a recording hiatus for the past five weeks while I took December off and then I went on vacation just to relax. What? Yeah, I went on vacation just to relax for like the first time in eight years. And then I gave myself like a week to transition back to work for the new year and here I am.

So yes, I banked a lot of episodes time, which was a lot of work. I was glad to have some time off to just, I don't know, be a blob. I guess you could just say be a person. Um, it felt blobbish by comparison to my usual, uh, state. But [00:01:00] it was nice. John and I went to Cozumel for a week and I did nothing but eat, read, lay in the sun, get like nine hours of sleep a night.

Not to brag, but I did vacation pretty hard. Um, I wish I could say I was a new woman, but I'm mostly the same as before. Just with a nice memory of the ocean to tap into when I need it. And I'm like strangely tan for January. So that's, that's kind of fun. Anyway, I'm back at it this year in full force. I've got my Kanban board set for Q1.

My Google calendars filling up. I've got big plans for books I want to write and new ways to support authors. It's all very exciting. And if you're wondering, yes, I do occasionally have the thought drift into my head of, what the fuck are you doing, Claire? Do you see how much you're trying to accomplish?

This thought, when it would. Drop by used to stress me out because it would cause me to pause and look at everything I had planned all at once Creating this time [00:02:00] collapse where I felt like I needed to work on all the things right now And then I would start wondering How the hell I was going to keep it all together, you know?

Claire, what do you think in here? The center will not hold. If my fear had a catchphrase, it would be that. The center will not hold. I know a lot of other authors have this tendency I'm describing too. We pack our calendars pretty full with work, family, friends, health upkeep. Courses, so forth. And before we know it, everything is moving like a freight train.

But you're not necessarily sure that you can keep it on the track.

I will say that after doing quite a bit of work around this anxiety myself, when the thought of, how are you going to keep all this going, floats into my awareness now, I usually laugh it off and shrug. I mean, we'll see, right? Maybe I will, maybe I won't. In the end, what I've learned is it doesn't really matter either way, but [00:03:00] let's back up, let's address this question together with today's episode topic of what if I can't hold it all together? My hope is that by the end you'll have some new tools to use against this fear, this creeping suspicion that everything will spin out of control, the center will not hold, the train will jump the track if you so much as sneeze at the wrong time, and on and on.

Some of us, and I include myself in this because this is definitely a pattern, I have to keep an eye on, but some of us are responsibility addicts. Sit with that idea for a second and ask yourself if it feels even a little bit true about you. Why would anyone want to be a responsibility addict? What is the payoff there?

There are a few reasons I see over and over again when working with authors. So first and foremost, taking responsibility for things implies you have control. in a [00:04:00] situation. You cannot be responsible for things outside of your control, right? When a hurricane hits, you don't feel responsible for it happening because you don't have control over it, and that feels very obvious to most of us.

Now, caveat here, because if you were raised in or still involved with a spiritual or religious community that believes God punishes the masses for your piddly little sins, then Then you may very well feel responsible for a hurricane hitting your community if you were, say, doing something the community considers wrong, right?

Your brain may say, that doesn't make sense, but your heart and body may have been trained to feel guilt about it. So it's a superstitious and nebulous form of control. And noticing when it kicks up will start to help you feel better. Let go of that, right? Believing God is punishing you by killing other people with natural disasters and freak accidents is also, you know, a form of narcissism that you might want to consider releasing.

So that caveat aside, [00:05:00] we feel responsible for things that we. believe we have control over. Ergo, feeling responsible for things is a way to feel a sense of control. If I am responsible for the way another person acts, that's admitting that I believe I have control over their actions. If I feel responsible for writing and publishing five books this year, that's admitting that I believe I have control over whether I can write and publish five books this year.

The truth is that we very often do not have as much control over the things we take responsibility for as we'd like to believe. But acknowledging how little control we have over the external world is what some might call scary shit. And so many of us choose to pretend we have more control than we do.

And we do that through taking excess responsibility.

This coping strategy that helps us avoid the [00:06:00] scariness of how little control we actually have in this world quickly gets us into quite a bind, doesn't it? It seems like a solid strategy until we feel responsible for too many things and then start to feel like everything will fall apart if we, like, oversleep by an hour.

That's not a good feeling to have, and I know that a lot of people feel it. The coping strategy of taking responsibility where we have little or no control eventually leads to incredibly high levels of stress that our bodies just aren't equipped to deal with over the long run. Things start to break down.

We start to have health problems. We start to have mental health problems, physical health problems, all kinds of things start to break down. So when I talk about patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing, this is the kind of thing I'm talking about.

This pattern of taking responsibility. to try and feel in control. If you're listening to this [00:07:00] and going, oh shit, this is a thing I do, then I actually have great news for you. Spotting that it's a thing you do is the biggest step to beginning to let it go. Our brains tell us all kinds of pretty and convincing lies, like telling us, you know, We're responsible for holding everything together in our business and household.

Now why would my brain tell me that? Because it gives you a sense of control and we take that lie as fact, don't question it and wonder why we're stressed out all the time. So we want to root it out. We want to root out the lie. When you hear that voice telling you that you're falling down on responsibilities or that everything is your fault.

You have to question that. You have to pause and ask yourself, is this just a misguided attempt to feel in control? Don't let those stressful or negative thoughts go unchallenged. They're just thoughts. They're not truth. And I think that's a big thing [00:08:00] that many people still have ahead of them in their learning curve.

is that just because you have a thought doesn't mean that you have to believe it. A lot of these thoughts pop up and they're these defense mechanisms like I described. It's just trying to give you a sense of control and it's doing it in a very unhealthy way. Because here's the real mindfuck. You are undoubtedly attempting to control things that don't respond to your attempts at control.

Therefore, letting them go will change nothing.

Imagine your friend brings out a big block of ice when it's 70 degrees outside. They set the block of ice on the sidewalk and claim, Look at this. If I focus all my attention on this block of ice, it will melt. Your first thought might be, Doesn't this guy know the ice will melt whether he focuses his attention on it or not?

It's much easier [00:09:00] to spot where other people are taking responsibility for things that they aren't responsible for than it is for us to spot it in ourselves. Just as your friend is confusing correlation with causation, believing that it's his attention on the ice block that's melting it rather than, you know, the heat from the sun, We do that all the time in our lives.

The most common place this shows up is when we take responsibility for other people's actions. If you want to start spotting where you can loosen your grip on things you don't actually control, might as well start there. Where are you believing that if you just do and say the right things, you'll control another person's actions?

If you notice that that's happening a lot, insert therapist here. Right? This is a big thing to tackle. But starting to notice that you're doing it, and you may already know this, but it, you may notice it's in somewhere new, that, that is a huge first step because many, many people live their whole lives without [00:10:00] realizing that they're falling into that faulty belief.

Maybe you think that if you just keep the house clean enough, your spouse will give you the kind of attention you crave or you complete all 50 tasks for your boss on time and they'll stop being a dickhead to you. Is it possible that you don't have the control of the situation that your mind is trying to convince you of?

Just asking that question can turn up a lot of really interesting new thoughts. Now when we look at our author business, this pattern of taking responsibility where we don't have control shows up in a number of ways. Posting to social media frequently when there are no signs that it's moving the needle for your sales, either in the long run or short run.

Emailing readers frequently when doing it less frequently would have the same results. Filing all your taxes without help. Keeping any kind of publishing schedule when you don't know [00:11:00] that it's effective. Running ads on multiple platforms without knowing which one is actually selling your books. Joining an anthology without knowing whether it will move your other books.

And the list goes on. If you're doing these things without data, chances are you're doing them to feel better. In control.

Now, I'm not telling you not to experiment with new marketing ideas, right? You have to get that initial data. But if you're sticking with one for a while without clear data indicating that it's working, you might be taking on added responsibility of that task simply to feel like you have control over your sales.

Now, I might get some flack for saying this, but we have a lot less control over how many books we sell than most people who are selling a lot of books would ever want to admit.

No, that's not to say we don't have [00:12:00] any way of influencing our book sales, only that we do a lot of useless shit to increase our sense that the number of books we sell is totally within our control.

You can understand why it would be unflattering to the ego to admit that if you're selling a shit ton of books, it's not a hundred percent out of you being smart and the efforts that you've made. And I'm certainly not trying to take away from the efforts of authors who are selling six and seven figures each year.

I work with a lot of those authors and they're savvy, they're work ethic, the individual gifts they have certainly influence the results they're getting. Absolutely. But even they take responsibility for things that they're not responsible for in an attempt to feel less out of control in this world. We all do it to some degree.

It's important to remember that we have a limited amount of attention to give to the world and to ourselves. [00:13:00] So when we take on too much responsibility, Much of it done out of a need to feel in control. We inevitably end up abdicating responsibility in places where we do have influence. So some things you are responsible for are how you treat other people. The boundaries you hold for yourself, whether you act within your integrity, if you're giving yourself enough time to think and feel, what food you put in your body, if you're taking your medications when you're supposed to, if you're practicing peacefulness, how you talk to yourself.

Many times, We avoid pumping the brakes on all the external things we're taking responsibility for so that we can continue to avoid taking responsibility for the thoughts, feelings, and actions we do have control over. How many times have we observed ourselves or [00:14:00] others say they don't have time to eat healthy because they're too busy?

Frequently, what too busy really means is that their attention is fractured in a bunch of different directions, trying to control things that they have no control over.

That's often a more enjoyable distraction than what happens when we pump the brakes and are forced to look at how much we've abdicated responsibility for our inner world and how much there is to be addressed as a result.

It's frequently for these same reasons that we don't hand off tasks to other people when we have the funds to do so. The belief of, I can do better than they can is very frequently one of the lies our brain tells us to validate our continued attempts at control through responsibility.

I'm telling you this right now, a professional can do it just as good as you can. Probably better. It's time to stop letting the thought that you can do something better than everyone else go unquestioned. in your [00:15:00] mind. So things like perfectionism, mm mm. Perfectionism is an attempt at control. . It's a response to anxiety. And when we get anxious, we try to control things. So perfectionism is an attempt at control. While it's applauded in some areas, make no mistake that your ego is run amok when perfectionism gets going.

Why would anyone even think that they are the one that knows what perfection looks like, right? It's a game we can't win. So take it from one perfectionist to another. If you are a perfectionist, consider giving up the game rather than continuing to play and lose all your money.

Okay, so now that we're all warmed up, I'll tell you something a little harsh to consider if you feel like you can't hold it all together anymore. All right, are you ready? You're not as central to the functioning of the [00:16:00] universe as your ego wants you to believe you are. I don't say this to be rude. But rather because at the heart of this idea is a wealth of liberation.

There are things you do control, internal things like your thoughts, feelings, and your actions. And the way you choose to interact with your thoughts, feelings, and actions does hold influence. over the external world. If you show up for your friend in their time of need, they may be influenced to do the same for you.

But if you're showing up for them out of a sense of trying to control the future, looking for a guarantee that they will show up for you when you need them, then you've lost the plot.

The idea that we have influence over the external world, but not control, is important. Our lack of responsibility for and control of the external world is what allows us to one day die without the entire universe collapsing. [00:17:00] And our ability to influence others through the way we choose to think, feel, and act is what allows us to live on through those we leave behind.

There's a great freedom in discovering how little control we have over how things transpire in the world around us. And it's especially clear when we zoom out even just a little bit. Having that perspective allows us professional white knucklers to hopefully take a deep breath And not only unclench our fists, but open our palms up wide.

Let the reins go. You weren't controlling that horse anyway. Instead, turn your attention inward to where you do have responsibility. You'll see the fruits of that work through the influence you have on others. You can still change the world around you in positive ways, my reformer self would never tell you not to do that, but none of us get to dictate how our influence [00:18:00] manifests externally.

Don't get to know that ahead of time. And we don't control it. What I do know is that everyone who made a positive impact on the world, big or small, did so through that important inner work that shined through them, not through successfully controlling the external world around them.

Influence shines from the inside out, and it's a process of internal liberation. The good news is It's available to all of us. The bad news is that you don't control the external results. But that's also the good news too, because it means you're not responsible for anything but how you move through the world.

And even then, you get to make mistakes and be human. So if you're wondering, what if I can't hold it all together? Then I encourage you to stop pretending that you're holding all that much together in the first place, right? Start looking at all the things you're expecting yourself to do in the day. How many of them [00:19:00] might be on your list simply to give you a sense of control over the external world?

How many can wait without anything catastrophic happening? Where are you taking responsibility for the thoughts, feelings, and actions of others that you can practice letting go of? Where have you resisted handing off the responsibility to someone else because keeping it gives you a sense of control in an unpredictable world?

Where might you be using responsibility for external things as a way of avoiding the hard work of looking internally at what you do have control over?

I know some of this feels like a gut punch, but I do say all of this out of a sense of deep compassion for you. I know how hard it is to feel responsible for too many things. It's what I would call unnecessary suffering, and I don't wish that for you, me, or anyone.

I know that most of you listening to this right now are also trying to knock out some other responsibility you feel you have, [00:20:00] no matter how swamped you feel right now. You have a moment to pause and take a deep breath. Bring your attention to your breath. There it is. There you are. Existing. Simply pausing, breathing, existing.

And look, a meteor has not hit the earth as a result of you pausing and simply existing. You haven't bankrupted your entire family as a result. Way to go. Nobody is mad at you as a result of that. And if they are, that's not your responsibility to change anyway. One of the lines I like to repeat to myself, to help bring home all of these things I've shared in this episode is this. Nothing is required of me in this moment. Now that statement holds true in virtually every single point along my timeline.

The same will be true for you. At most points in your timeline, [00:21:00] Nothing is required of you in that exact moment. It's up to us how frequently we want to pause and connect with that liberating truth and feel the stress of trying to control the uncontrollable temporarily melt away.

It's okay if you can't hold it all together because you were never made to and it's not required of you. Let some things go. Take a pause as frequently as you want throughout your day to bring your attention to your breath. Where do you feel it in your body? No need to control it, change the speed, or change anything about it.

Just bring your attention to it. You may notice that your breaths are becoming deeper or slower or located deeper in your belly than in your chest. Whatever it is, just let it be that. And then repeat to nobody but yourself. Nothing is required of me in this moment. The more you can connect to that truth, the easier you'll find it to let go of all those responsibilities you've taken on just to trick [00:22:00] yourself into feeling like you have control where you don't.

Over time, you'll feel less and less of an impulse to hold it all together because you'll start to see how well the universe holds itself together and that you weren't doing an effective job of holding it all together to begin with. You were doing a really good job of pretending you were, though, so.

That's it for this episode. I'm Claire Taylor. Thanks for joining me, and I hope you'll come back for the next episode of What If for Authors. Happy writing!

Episode 35: What if my ads stop working?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If? For Authors, Claire dives into a common fear among authors: what to do when your ads stop working. Whether you're an indie author relying on ads to sell your books or just starting to explore ad platforms like Amazon or Facebook, Claire offers practical advice and mindset strategies to help you navigate this challenge.

With insights from her own experience running ads since 2015, Claire breaks down why ads can stop performing, how to analyze their effectiveness, and what steps to take when you're frustrated or burned out by the process. This episode is a mix of actionable tactics and emotional support for authors who feel stuck with their ad strategies.

Key Takeaways

• Why Ads Are Essential for Authors:

  • Paid ads are a key tool for reaching readers, especially for indie and hybrid authors.

  • Most six- and seven-figure authors rely on ads, though profitability varies.

• The Reality of Ad Platforms:

  • Platforms like Amazon and Facebook prioritize their own profits, not yours.

  • Algorithms and rules are constantly changing—authors must adapt.

• Analyzing Ad Performance:

  • Define what "working" means for your ads—are they profitable, or just underperforming?

  • Run the numbers to get clear on ROI (return on investment). Don’t rely solely on ad dashboards, as their data can be unreliable.

• Mindset Shifts for Success:

  • Accept that some ads stop working and let go when necessary.

  • Practice emotional resilience and avoid chasing sunk costs.

• Strategies When Ads Stop Working:

  • Lower budgets on underperforming ads rather than turning them off completely.

  • Seek advice or refresh your knowledge about ad platforms.

  • Consider outsourcing your ad management if the process is too overwhelming.

• Emotional Awareness:

  • Acknowledge the emotions behind your frustration—fear, insecurity, or past negative experiences with data and numbers.

  • Approach your ad strategy with curiosity and clarity, keeping emotions in check.

Support the Show: If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share the show with your fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation:
Share your thoughts and questions by reaching out to Claire at contact@ffs.media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors as well as a Humor and Mystery Writer. You can check out my latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain.

If you want your writing to be your profession, you will inevitably arrive at the conclusion that paid ads are a necessary component to your strategy. This is true whether you're an indie author or you're traditionally published. The only difference is that if you're traditionally published, you don't have access to the data and sometimes the permissions you would need to run ads to your books.

You have to just hope that the publisher decides to put some of their money toward ads for you and for your book, and that whoever is running those ads knows what they're doing.

But if you're an indie or a hybrid author with some of your catalog published independently, you'll eventually go, I need to start running ads. This may be something you decide on [00:01:00] immediately prior to publishing your first book or something that comes in later, but It'll happen soon enough.

Authors who are making six, seven figures on their books, and that's revenue, not profit, are running ads. There may be like two who are an exception to this rule, so let's ignore them rather than just assume we could be them. They undoubtedly have some other advantage that we aren't seeing that helps them sell books at that high volume.

Now, just because someone is making six or seven figures of revenue and advertising doesn't mean that their ads are working well. We would want to look at ROI, or return on investment, to get a better idea of how their ads are running.

You can certainly spend 200, 000 on ads in a year to make 100, 000 in revenue, and I would not personally, So, while probably most of the six and seven figure authors that you know of are running ads, [00:02:00] not necessarily all of them are running ads well. I think that's just an important thing to note. Now, I run ads for my fiction. I've been using Amazon ads since Late 2015, I think, maybe early 2016, and I've had great success with them, and not as great success with them during that time.

I do have a degree of confidence that in the last nine years, a lot of my fiction success is a result of those ads. I have a lot of data to analyze when I'm making that assessment. I just checked before recording this, and it's something like over 200 million impressions on my ads, so that's a lot of data.

Amazon ads don't work well for each of my series, though. Some books have a better ROI than others, no matter what I try. And I have tried a lot. And then some books will sell really well for a couple years, then the ads all kind of turn to duds. Also, no matter what I [00:03:00] try.

Personally, I have never had success with Facebook ads. I'm very happy. For all those who have. And I used to have a lot more success with BookBub ads. They still kind of work, but nothing like what they used to do for me. So, I know that it's incredibly frustrating when something that used to work to sell books stops working. So today we're going to talk about that as we ask the question, what if my ads stop working?

I think it would inform our approach today and just in general to remember that Facebook and Amazon, which are the two main ad platforms for authors, they are in essence, just ad platforms. I'm not just talking about their actual ad dashboards. I'm talking about how they operate as businesses.

While they want your ads to work well enough to keep you around and keep you paying for those ads, that's kind of all they care about insofar as how you do on their platform. [00:04:00] They just want to keep us around so that you and I will continue to pay them money to show our products to people. And then additionally, Amazon also gets to double dip if someone buys our books.

And they get a little cut. But here's the thing, it doesn't actually matter if that person buys our book or something else. In fact, most products on Amazon are more expensive than, say, an e book. So it benefits Amazon when people click on one of our ads, Buy, or don't buy our book, but then buy something more expensive and continue to spend time on their website where they are then served more ads that they may click, at which point we, the advertisers, pay Amazon again.

Hearing it described this way may make you feel cynical and sure. I have notes on how this sucks for authors. But this is the game. And we can decide to play it or not. I've decided to play it on Amazon. And it's helped me get the results I want for my fiction career. So I [00:05:00] continue to decide to play it.

We can choose it, or we can not choose it. But two things are important here. One is that we understand how it works. And that our interests are not fully aligned with the platforms we're using. And, two, that we do have a choice. It's important to remember that. When we decide to play the game Amazon or Facebook or BookBub or Google or whoever else sets out for us, it's crucial that we understand that we are not in control of most of it.

We are the visiting team here, and the platform will always have home field advantage. They can even change the rules in the middle of the match, and they often do.

Facebook and Amazon are always tweaking the rules for their ads and the algorithms that determine which ad gets delivered to whom and how many times, et cetera. These variables are always changing and sometimes that benefits us and sometimes [00:06:00] it eats up our money with no results. The skill in working with ads is to know when to hold them and.

To know when to fold them. But this is a skill that nobody has mastered. So that's important to understand, too. It's not about mastery. It's about having a slightly better batting average over time. And if you know about batting averages, sorry about all the sports analogies, y'all. I don't know what to say.

It's a game, you know? Um, but, you know, if you know about batting averages, you know that they tend to include more failure than success. Like no one is batting a 500 over the course of a season and is not too different with ads. Now, every now and then, an ad will come along that just fucking works, like, oh, holy shit, this is printing money.

I had one of those on BookBub years ago. Every time I ran it, I would get like a 500 percent ROI, or basically get my money back five times of [00:07:00] what I put in. I was careful not to overwork the ad. So I pumped money into it one day a week for a while, and those, those were wonderful months. You can guess what happened though, right?

That's right, it stopped working. And I had the data to show that it was slowly declining and then just kind of stopped working. I didn't want it to stop working, and so for a while I fell into denial about it. It was, this time it'll work better, maybe if I just change the target? Nope, it was done. The end of an ad era.

We hear stories about ads like this all the time when we're in this industry. They're things of myth and legend. I will take a little bit of credit for the image and text on that BookBub ad being really, really hooky because I guess my ego needs that. But most of it was just the conditions of the ad platform being [00:08:00] perfect for that ad in that moment.

And then the conditions changed. And it was time for me to move on. In other words, most of the success of that ad was just luck. It's very unflattering to admit it, but that is often the case. It's crucial to our decision making abilities that we understand how each person who finds an ad or ads that work really well has sunk an absolute shit ton of money into ads that didn't work.

If we fall into thinking that this isn't the case, That people strike gold their first time. Then we're unlikely to push through the shitty ads to get to the one that works. And you know, sometimes ads just don't work. They just don't. I alluded to it before, but ads work for a little while for some books.

That seems to be the most reasonable approach that I've found, and that's from my own experience in [00:09:00] talking to other people. So, for instance, Amazon ads sold the shit out of my Jessica Christ series back in like 2017, 2018, but those ads just don't do jack shit for that series now. I cannot get those running to save my life.

maybe I need a cover refresh. I probably need a sales page refresh. And maybe I need a whole new pass those books to update them before the ads will start to work again for me. But, I also don't know that. And since there is only one of me, and so low businesses run on trade offs, do I really want to invest all that effort into a series without knowing that it'll sell more after?

Do I want to take attention away from my cozies that are selling well and working with the ads to bet on an old series? For now, the answer is no. And that could change with new information, but for now it's a no for [00:10:00] me.

Accepting that ads have stopped working for that series was a painful process. Jessica Christ is a series that I put a lot of myself in, and I still think it's culturally relevant. Maybe more so lately than before, so. I, like, really wanted it to sell. I can witness that emotion in myself, validate it, I mean, yeah, it's a valid emotion, and still decide that now is not the time to pour good money after bad.

Sometimes when ads stop working, it's simply time to practice acceptance and just move on. Right? We don't usually associate these sorts of things with something like ads, you know, these practices of acceptance and all the soft skills, as they used to call them. , But it's true, learning to accept it, rather than trying to force an ad platform to bend to your will is very likely going to keep you from lighting [00:11:00] your entire marketing budget on fire.

Now, did I stop running ads to Jessica Christ completely when they weren't really working? No, I lowered the budget significantly, because the ROI on that series is is only like 25 percent and the ROI on another series I have is closer to like three or four hundred percent depending on the month. So where should I put my money to maximize profit?

Kind of a no brainer. But I respect that there's a part of me that still wants the occasional reader to find Jessica Christ. And so I had to decide how much money my business could set aside for that emotional indulgence. Because emotions, you can't really just cut them out and expect everything to work fine.

We still want to build our emotional needs into our business. So, hmm, how much? How much money could I set aside for that emotional indulgence? To just know that maybe one of these ads would find a new reader and occasionally, you know, I sell some copies of [00:12:00] this series and I know that somebody's reading it, I see the read through because my sales are so low on it that I can tell when people are reading through.

It turns out it, the budget is like 25 a month. That's how much I'm going to spend on this.

Also, and this is just a tactical note, that may not be relevant by the time you listen to this episode. That's why I'm not giving a whole lot of tactical advice here, because it changes so frequently. But if you're running Amazon ads, I would highly recommend that you keep at least one small ad running on your books.

, you know, if you can just lower the budget on the ads that are existing that aren't complete duds, That's what I would recommend. And I understand from my own experience that it's tempting to stop all your ads, just burn the whole thing to the ground because it's not performing like it used to. But it can be really hard to get any ads running again, even close to whatever, you know, sort of pittance you're experiencing right now if you do that.

So maybe just lower the budgets. [00:13:00] On certain books for a while, but if you can afford to keep putting a little bit a month toward the ads you might wanna do, so keep tinkering with them, but do it on a low budget. So I'm not speaking from any insider knowledge directly from Amazon Here I'm working with what I've seen happen to authors who shut off all their ads, either because they didn't wanna think about Amazon ads anymore or because someone who.

Didn't know what they were talking about told them to so that's Actually the only tactical advice I'm gonna give and I only give it because I do want to spare folks the pain of trying to Get ads working again after shutting them all down. There can be huge regret on the other side of it So just something to consider let's focus for a moment on the sentence.

My ads have stopped working What does this mean for you? When I hear someone say this, I hear a lot of emotion, particularly frustration and fear, behind that sentence. So, I think it can be useful to invite our [00:14:00] thinking center into the conversation more. What is your threshold for not working? How do you define that?

Is it that your ads are spending more than they make? How much? Are you sure of that? Is the data you're basing that on reliable? Because ad dashboards, and this is the really frustrating part, but ad dashboards are not known for super reliable data, y'all. A lot of times they're just guessing too. So have you actually run the numbers on your ad spend versus your sales, or are you just going on vibes?

Even if you're not good with numbers, or you're not an analytical person, you can add up your ad spend for a book or series and then look at your royalties for that book or series in a similar time frame to see if you're making or losing money on it. You don't have to get deep into the data, but if you feel like your ads have stopped working, but you haven't yet taken the step [00:15:00] towards confirming that, I guarantee you're operating on fear and frustration, not reality.

The fear and the frustration might match up with the reality once you run the numbers, but that is little more than a coincidence. So we want to get as clear a picture of reality as possible when we're making business decisions.

We can certainly take our emotions, intuition, and beliefs into account in our decisions. But it's important to have clarity on what is what right if we're mislabeling emotions or intuitions as cold hard fact and data You know numerical data, then we can get into trouble. So know what's what and then we work from there Often though I see authors skip over running the numbers even at that most high level of revenue minus expenses because They're afraid of what they'll find, and they'd rather live in a fantasy where they can feel profitable than being confronted with a [00:16:00] reality where they aren't.

But only when we face the reality, even if it's not what we want it to be, can we start making informed decisions that will help us nudge our reality closer to our desired goal. So, you tell me your ads have stopped working. I ask you to define working, right? Do you have an answer? Is it that your ads need to be profitable?

Okay, fair enough. Here are some further considerations. How far away are your ads from being profitable? Do you have the available resources to keep experimenting until something meets your definition of working? When was the last time you did some intentional learning about the platform? Are you due for a refresh?

Do you have a friend who's doing well on the platform who would be willing to hop on a call with you for 30 minutes and give you another set of eyes on things? With each of these questions, we're inviting our thinking center [00:17:00] into the situation to approach with curiosity. That helps us have a clearer assessment independent of our emotions.

Our emotions are welcome to be part of the discussion, but they shouldn't put on the critical thinking name tag.

Frankly, a lot of times when people say my ads aren't working, what I hear behind that is something like, I'm sick of running ads and I don't want to do this anymore. You might be sick of running ads simply because it's Triggering a fear or unpleasant memory inside of you. So people who felt insecure in their math classes when they were younger, generally, made to feel insecure by teachers or parents, they often have an emotional or visceral repulsion to opening up a dashboard full of numbers.

And this makes total sense. I get it. There's, it is what it is, you know, if that happened to you, first of all, sorry. Wish you had better teachers. , but it makes [00:18:00] sense. If this is you, you're done alone in this by any means. But the question I would ask is whether you've concluded your ads aren't working so that you no longer have to suffer through that feeling, or if your ads are actually working really poorly based on the data.

Because if you simply no longer want to feel that fear, sadness, or disgust associated with being bombarded by numbers, then there are other options. You can pay someone to run your ads. And now sometimes this works and sometimes it doesn't, depending on the person. and their fee, and your books, but it might be worth a shot for a few months to try it out.

Ask your author friends for referrals, start sniffing around for it. If it works, if your ads start taking off, fantastic, awesome, problem solved. If it doesn't, at least you can cross it off your list. And you may see some benefits in the end. If you were thinking of [00:19:00] shutting it all down anyway, What have you got to lose besides a little bit of money?

So chalk it up as tuition because you learned something important from that money spent.

If we know that we have a sensitive fear response, and if this is you, no need to feel any way about it because you probably developed it when you were still in diapers, so it is what it is. But if you notice it, then we can do ourselves a huge favor by bringing awareness to the fact when dealing with ads.

The efficacy of ads on any platform ebbs and flows. If we have a habit of projecting whatever is happening right now onto the future indefinitely, then we will be on a wild ride with ads. So this is a need for certainty. So we take whatever is happening in the Present, and project it forward. If it's good, the future looks bright.

If it's bad, not so bright. So, when the ads are hot and selling books well, we might project into the future that it will always be like this. [00:20:00] Despite, you know, maybe that nagging dread many of us have that good things can't last and we will spend accordingly. So, I've made 11, 000 this month up from 10, 000 last month.

So I can start planning on making at least 11, 000 a month from here on out. That's kind of what it sounds like. I really wish this was how it worked. Wouldn't that be nice? And we've probably all fallen into this fallacy before. But then something changes with the ads. Sales start to dip. If you have a sensitive fear response, and if you're checking your stats regularly, this might be where you freak the fuck out.

Even if you don't take immediate action, you might feel your heart rate increase and get a little sweaty and distracted. So if you can Pause and notice this reaction, then remember what I told you, and that I told you this is likely going to happen. This fear response can simply be viewed as a biological process that happens.

You don't actually need to make decisions [00:21:00] based on it. So pause, take a few deep breaths and bring that thinking center back online if you can. So here are some questions to look at. If you start to see the sales and the ads dip, have you experienced a similar dip before? Was it around the same time of year?

Were you doing other promotions in the previous months that you have not done this month that might explain the dip? Are other authors who use this platform experiencing something similar? Do you have the cushion in your finances for this unexpected dip? What might you need to adjust to make a cushion without stopping the ads completely?

Most of the time, and I really mean all of the time, but I'll say most of the time to leave room for the exception finders. Most of the time, the best thing you can do when you check your ads and see that they're dipping, and that your sales are dipping, and oh god, everything is crashing down. is to stand up from your computer and walk [00:22:00] away.

Maybe even go for a walk. There are two reasons I say this. The first is that you will feel better about the situation if you do that. The second is that almost nothing you do in a panic when it comes to ads is super effective. Also, there might not be anything within your control in that moment that will change what is happening.

At least not in a positive way. If you are adjusting ads in a state of high anxiety or panic, you're not actually trying to fix your ads, you're trying to convince yourself that you have control over the situation. Those are not the same thing. You're feeling out of control, and you're trying to exert control to feel better.

So yeah, that's not the same thing as making smart business decisions. So get up, go for a walk, maybe start asking yourself some of the questions we talked about through this episode as you do that. Okay, now what [00:23:00] if you do all the things and reach the conclusion that ads are not doing for your business what you want them to do, not even close?

What now? Well, you can stop running them for now. That's an option too. Take a break, go inhale some fresh air or watch a TV show that everyone keeps pushing on you, but you haven't had the time to enjoy, go spend some time with your kids or pets, text a friend to see what's new, basically get on with your life for a bit.

Try something fresh for your marketing. Maybe TikTok, contributing to an anthology in your genre, submitting your books to promo lists like bargain books here for a book bub feature deal. Start writing a new series just for the fun of it. Let ads go for a while. Shift your attention towards things that you have a little more control over.

You may find that after a while you want to give particular ad platforms another try. And maybe by then the algorithms will have shifted and you'll have more success. Who [00:24:00] knows?

I started off the show by saying that most six and seven figure authors run ads. So am I telling you that if ads stop working for you and you take a break from them, you won't be a six or seven figure author? I mean, kinda, yeah, sure. It's possible. Likely that your royalties will go down if you stop running ads, but so will your spending, and maybe that's okay temporarily.

If the ads weren't working, then they weren't working. If you can't change them, then you can't change them. So the choice you have is to be miserable about that, or go enjoy what else life has to offer. It doesn't have to be forever, but sometimes we need to shift away from the blocks in our career.

put our attention elsewhere, and then sometimes things we discover when we're doing that either help us return to the problem with new insight that solves it, or those things make us not care as much about the problem to begin with, [00:25:00] and then it stops being a problem. So if you're asking, what if my ads stop working?

I'll start by asking you to define working. Have you checked that against data yet? Are you willing to keep fiddling with them or simply wait to see if they start working again on their own? Can you lower the budget for a while? Is the issue actually that you don't want to run ads anymore? And maybe you could benefit from handing them over to someone else for a while.

And if you decide to stop running ads, I'd say that it doesn't have to be forever. There are other ways to sell books and grow an audience in the meantime. Being a sustainable author means developing the ability to stay anchored during the frequent Ups and downs of sales. So this might just be a downtime, but it doesn't mean there's nothing in your power to keep your author career afloat until the next big wave comes [00:26:00] along.

Shift your attention away from ads to other opportunities that might keep you connected to the community and readers, or to things outside of your writing life that are wonderful too. And then, if you're ready later, catch up on the latest best practices, and you can give ads another try.

That's it for this episode of What If for Authors. I'm Claire Taylor, and I'm just so glad you tuned in. If you don't mind leaving a review for the show on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts, I would greatly appreciate it. It helps a lot. So thanks for listening, and I hope you'll join me next time.

Happy writing!

Episode 34: What if I can't stop comparing myself to others?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If for Authors, Claire dives into the deeply ingrained habit of comparing ourselves to others—why we do it, how it affects us, and how we can learn to shift from harmful patterns of comparison toward curiosity and growth. Whether you're a writer struggling with self-doubt or simply a human navigating the complexities of social dynamics, this episode is packed with insights and actionable advice.

Key Takeaways

• Why We Compare Ourselves to Others
  Evolutionary roots of comparison and its role in social survival.

• How Comparison Impacts Writers
  From comparing your books to others in your genre to the challenges of writing to market.

• The Enneagram and Comparison
  How each type’s core fear influences the way we compare and react.

• Shifting from Judgment to Curiosity
  Practical tips for recognizing harmful patterns of comparison and replacing them with curiosity.

• When to Take a Break
  Why stepping back from comp authors or genre-specific reading may help reset your mindset.

Why Listen: If you’ve ever felt bogged down by comparisons and self-doubt, this episode will help you take the first steps toward freeing yourself from the cycle. Tune in and start embracing your unique path as an author.

Support the Show: If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share the show with your fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation:
Share your thoughts and questions by reaching out to Claire at contact@ffs.media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name is Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book for authors, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain.

How about a short episode today, folks? I think we've both earned it. So let's see if I can keep this concise as we jump straight into today's topic, where we ask, what if I can't stop comparing myself to others?

This is a common question, not just from authors, but from humans of all occupations. Comparing ourselves to others is something that our brains have evolved to do for very important reasons. It's also. The number one cause of people being absolutely fucking miserable. Wild How That Works sort of takes the natural fallacy of, if it's natural, it's good, chucks it up into the sky like a piece of skeet and blows it to smithereens with a [00:01:00] shotgun.

Um, apologies to those who have no clue what the hell I just said. The Stygial Texan metaphors aside, let's take a look at why we compare, it makes us miserable, and some steps we can take to be slightly less miserable slightly more frequently. When we look at all nine of the Enneagram core fears, you'll notice that none of them are simply death.

That's kind of strange when it's pointed out, right? Doesn't it make more evolutionary sense for everyone's core fear to be, you die? Wouldn't that encourage us to make decisions that don't get us killed? But instead, the fears are things like being bad, or being without support, or being controlled. All of the fears in the Enneagram are social fears.

They're about our standing within groups. So researchers have performed brain scans on people while activating these sort of social fears and compared [00:02:00] them to activating, like, imagining physical threats. And it turns out that we have evolved to be more scared of these core social fears than death itself.

And the fact that we're more triggered by social fears than by death itself is how things like bravery exist. It's how dying for an ideal exists, how speaking out even though it might get your ass beat exists. Humans have evolved to be a social species, meaning the best way for us to avoid death is to focus on our social standing.

So attention to that is prioritized. in our brains. There are plenty of books on this, so I won't belabor the point. Let's move on. What I will say is that an important part of gauging our safety within the social order is to learn what other people who are safe are doing. So this is comparison.

It serves an important purpose and it is so deeply ingrained in [00:03:00] us that we will never stop doing it completely. Comparison can look like a child watching their parent do something and comparing the movements and accuracy of the parent's efforts to their own to see, you know, am I doing this the same way?

Comparison is an important part of learning. Most of us probably learned to write our letters to handwrite by copying over those dotted lines of letters when we were younger. And we compare what we did versus what was set out for us. And then later on when we became authors, we looked at our sentences, our characters, the plot of our story, and compared it to books that came before us to go, Am I doing this the same way?

Does this kind of resemble that?

Comparison is great for giving us general guides on how things may be done in a socially acceptable way. Knowledge and expertise are a societal effort. And the things that seem like givens to us [00:04:00] today, like even the basic structure of a romance, for instance, those weren't always known. It took a lot of iterations of stories about people falling in love before we settled on some general components that make the story great.

And those iterations can only be done through comparison and imitation with small variants along the way to discover new elements that work well. Comparing Iterating and small variants gave us such hits as Second Chance Romance, Enemies to Lovers, and eventually Billionaire Romance, and you can imagine the ape holding up the first tool here with the 2001 Space Odyssey music behind it. Right? Billionaire romance. So our ability to compare things is hugely useful from an evolutionary point of view. standpoint. What thoughts and feelings we have following the comparison are where we can get into some trouble though.

For instance, we read the book of another author [00:05:00] in our genre and we think, they wrote that breakup scene way different from how I'm writing mine. Okay, solid comparison. You've noticed the similarities and the differences. Useful for separating out the poisonous berries from the edible ones, but what about in the book world?

Depending on the author's core fear, the thought that follows may be something like. Are readers going to hate my book? Or am I doing this wrong? Asking these questions is natural, and beneath them is interesting information. Like, if I make adjustments to my book to be more like this one, will it affect the outcomes I care about?

But the objective curiosity is couched in fear, so we get this language like hate and wrong thrown in there. And that really exposes the emotions that these questions are bringing out in us about who we are and our place in the world. in society. So this is where comparison starts to trip us up. It can lead us to making knee [00:06:00] jerk changes, put us into a doubt spiral, or just stir up all these old insecurities we've developed about ourselves as humans and artists.

Nothing invites us to make comparisons between our books and those of our contemporaries quite like the idea of Right to market. The central tenet of it is to see what other people who are selling a lot of books are doing and then do that. Can I add some of myself into the book and still have it written to market?

We ask to the right to market gurus. Of course, they say. Then, with a little wink, they'll add, As long as the part of you isn't too weird or different. So this is not to shit on writing to market. If you can do it well, it is a way to increase your odds that your book will sell more copies. It doesn't guarantee sales, but it is a positioning that will help you be ready if the lottery pulls your numbers.

So, I'm not discouraging anyone from doing it, but what I will say is [00:07:00] that if you choose this path, your opportunities for comparison skyrocket. So, learning to recognize when you're comparing yourself with others so that you do it at appropriate and useful times, and don't do it all day, every day, to your misery, becomes an Especially important skill.

Going deeper into fear, when our core fear is triggered, it's common to turn to comparison to reassure ourselves that at least we're relatively safe in our social standing. So this may look like, if you're a type 1, the reformer. Maybe you're afraid that you're not good, and rather than addressing that fear directly, and some, with some of the techniques that I talk about all the time, maybe you simply find someone who you think is less good,

do an easy comparison of, at least I'm not that bad, and then you just call it a day. The underlying issue of your fear of being bad is not [00:08:00] addressed. Instead, as long as someone is worse of a person than we believe ourselves to be, we can feel good in comparison, and our brain senses that we may not be the first one cast out of society for being bad.

It's kind of that you don't have to run faster than the bear, you just can't be the slowest of the group. So sometimes this comparison turns into a action of pointing out others badness or corruption as a balm for the fear rather than for another reason like, you know, corruption on a large scale rots societal bonds and so forth.

So it stops being about protecting the group and starts being about protecting our ego. And that's where we run into trouble. So that's for the example of the one. Let's take another example. Let's say eight. If you're an eight, a challenger,, you're going to be scared of being harmed or controlled. So as long as the eight can compare their power position favorably to [00:09:00] someone else, they can tell themselves that they have power and are not powerless, or at least not the most powerless.

So this can start to look like needing power over others so that the eight always has someone with less social power to look at for reassurance. Now, this is a precarious position to take because what happens when the comparisons aren't favorable? What happens when a 1 compares herself to someone who seems to be an even better person than she is?

And what happens when the 8 encounters someone who he perceives to have power over him? If your sense of goodness, power, or any of the other desires of the types is dependent on who you are comparing yourself to, from moment to moment, Then your sense of self will be precarious at best.

You can't enjoy the high of feeling superior without the bottoming out lows of feeling inferior. [00:10:00] And an inferiority complex are two sides of the same coin that you're flipping constantly when you allow your pattern of comparison to continue uninterrupted.

There's a common bit of advice for authors, especially those who are trying to write to market, and that's to read a bunch of books in your genre. But if you can see that comparison. is a big part of your life, it's almost a compulsion that you can't control, and you don't yet possess the necessary box of tools to redirect your attention away from it with any sort of regularity, then reading a bunch of books from authors in your genre will, for lack of a better term, fuck you over.

Your assessments may fall into two categories. Better than and worse than. I have better characterization than this author. I have worse pacing than that author.

Now, if you're able to pull the data in objectively, like, Ooh, I like that thing. I would like to try [00:11:00] to capture some of that magic in my own work without it feeling like a judgment on you or a threat to the quality of work you do, then that's a very healthy approach, right? That's how new and interesting things can come about.

But if you find that reading the works of other authors in your genre leads to thoughts of giving up, or thoughts of everything in my genre is garbage and I'm the only good writer, then you're not really in a place to be reading your comp authors yet. I say this having found myself in that place before.

And the reason I hone in on reading in your particular genre is because the more similarities we perceive between ourselves, and another person, the more likely we are to compare in a way that leads to superiority or inferiority. So envy passes more easily between people in the same profession, of the same gender, of the same age, nationality, and of course, gender.

genre. We're much less likely to compare say our achievements to the [00:12:00] achievements of someone 50 years older than us or 50 years younger than us. So the similarity that we perceive between us and another person is what opens the gates for that comparison. So just an important thing to keep in mind. If you find your attention flowing constantly toward comparison, but you'd like to keep learning to be a better writer by reading books, You can try reading in genres you never plan on writing in.

You'll still pick up storytelling tips if you do that. And let's say you write urban fantasy, but you're reading a historical cozy mystery. You're more likely to be unfamiliar with the tropes and expected beats than if you were reading urban fantasy and because of that you might find the comparison so difficult that your brain stops trying and instead just finds things it delights in and goes, Ooh, I wonder if I could bring that into my writing in some interesting and fresh way.

And now we're in the healthy land of curiosity rather than the draining land of [00:13:00] self judgment. So yes, to be clear, if you default toward comparison. Don't beat yourself up because you evolved this way, but you have my full blessing to not read in your genre. In fact, it may be helpful to not even read that much fiction for a while and branch into nonfiction for your ideas.

Unhealthy comparison is a conclusion we're drawing about ourselves in relation to others. Curiosity doesn't really draw conclusions, though. Its only job is to ask questions and seek more information. So staying curious is a great way to keep ourselves from falling prey to the unintended negative consequences of comparison.

If you'd like to do less unfair comparison of yourself to others, or at least make it hurt a little less each time it happens, the first step is simple. Notice that you're doing it. A lot of people struggle with this step, and so [00:14:00] it can be helpful to let the people you interact with most frequently know that you're trying to notice this more often, because then they can notice it for you. They can say, Hey, you're comparing yourself again, that sort of thing. Noticing our patterns is always more successful as a group effort.

Now noticing our tendency for comparison can be a long project and one without an end, but it's an important first step. You might even start to be a little baffled as you notice how much you compare. Like, damn, is all I do compare myself to other people? Yeah, that might be a lot of it, and now that you see it, you might be curious what else there is.

So just follow that curiosity.

And then once you notice that you're comparing yourself to others, or someone has kindly pointed that out to you, you can start to ask yourself, what triggered your core fear that made you start comparing? There's so much interesting information we can gain from asking these types of questions. Apply [00:15:00] curiosity liberally here.

Why did that thing trigger your core fear? When do you first remember associating that fear with that thing? Whose voice do you hear talking to you in those situations? What would happen if you ignored what that other person was doing? What would you do if you had no idea what other people were doing?

What are you afraid will happen if you don't measure up?

This is the gift we unwrap when we start to bring mindfulness, that is, noticing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, rather than simply repeating familiar patterns of them, when we bring that mindfulness to our lives. We get a foot in the door, and then we can start to ask the important questions that introduce the necessary metacognition to the equation, where we see those nonsensical thoughts, those draining emotions, and those unproductive actions for what they are.

And then the impulse to have or do them starts to evaporate. We release our grasp on them. We just sort of let them go [00:16:00] over time. Letting go of constricting thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that no longer serve us the way we hoped. The ability to take off the armor, now that we're no longer in battle, that is liberation.

So to liberate ourselves from the confines of comparison, we start by noticing all of the times when we're doing it. And as I said, be honest with yourself about how big of a part comparison is currently playing in your life. If it's still a constant, it's okay to not put yourself in situations that trigger that.

There's no, but I shouldn't be comparing myself to others this much, so I'm going to keep reading books in my genre.

If reading books in your genre triggers feelings of inferiority or superiority, then that's where you're at. Take a break from it, practice the noticing, and maybe somewhere down the line you'll be able to read a book and stay mindful about when the comparison is happening so that you can manage it and [00:17:00] untrain some of those patterns.

We really don't want to approach the world in a particular way because we think we should be able to approach it in that way. We want to approach the world and our author career, obviously, in the way that makes sense for where we are in our process. If you want to work on a skill, that will bring you to a new place later.

Absolutely go for it. Of course, I'm going to encourage that. But, if you wouldn't throw a 14 year old who can't swim into the deep end of a pool because you think they should be able to swim by that age, then don't do the same thing to yourself and call it anything other than orchestrating your own traumatic experience.

We want to push ourselves slowly, not hurl ourself over the cliff. Whatever

you are ready for right now is enough. So don't compare your growth and tools to others. The comparison doesn't make [00:18:00] sense at the end of the day. It's just fear calling for you to reassure yourself with a shortcut that doesn't address the deeper development. If you're wondering, what if I can't stop comparing myself to others, I'll say that first, Of course you can't.

All of us compare a little bit, and it's not the worst thing we could do. But if you can practice noticing when you're doing it, staying away from judgments on the comparison and instead pursuing curiosity about the situation, you'll start to see the need for comparison less and over time, and your attention will start to flow more regularly toward I'm already the thing I seek to be.

And isn't that a nice thing to share with the world?

That's it for this episode of What If for Authors. I am Claire Taylor, and thanks for listening. I hope you'll join me again next time. Happy writing.

Episode 33: What if AI replaces me?

Episode Description:

In this candid and thought-provoking episode of What If? For Authors, Claire tackles one of the most polarizing topics in the writing world today: artificial intelligence. As authors grapple with the rise of AI, Claire delves into the underlying fears, anger, and ethical dilemmas shaping the debate.

Claire begins by addressing the elephant in the room: the pervasive fear of AI and its potential to replace or harm authors. From the "original sin" of AI training on copyrighted material to the polarized stances authors take, this episode seeks to explore the emotional and psychological roots of these perspectives rather than taking a definitive stance.

Whether you're staunchly anti-AI, an advocate for integrating technology into your writing process, or somewhere in between, Claire invites you to approach this topic with intellectual humility. She examines how fear manifests in our behavior, discusses the scapegoating and witch-hunting tendencies emerging in the author community, and offers insights into how we can navigate this uncertain terrain without losing ourselves in the extremes.

Key Takeaways

• The fear response triggered by AI and how it affects authors.

• The "original sin" of AI: ethical concerns surrounding copyright and justice.

• Intellectual humility and the pitfalls of entrenched positions.

• The tyranny of extremes in the AI debate.

• Enneagram insights: How each type might engage with the AI discussion.

Support the Show: If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share the show with your fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation:
Where do you fall on this debate? Share your thoughts and questions by reaching out to Claire at contact@ffs.media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm so glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor, and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book for authors, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs. media forward slash sustain.

I have a surprise announcement to make. All these episodes of this show you've listened to so far, All written, voiced by AI. Obviously, I'm kidding. And you probably knew that right away, which is telling, I think. Yes, I can rest assured, at least for the time being, that my job as an Enneagram based author coach is secure.

I've actually prompted. Chat GPT for a couple of times with Enneagram related questions and y'all it sucks. It sucks so bad As a recording this I strongly advise you not to take any cognitive emotional or behavioral advice From [00:01:00] that model just keep listening to my episodes until one day the Enneagram Singularity occurs and I can stop spending multiple hours planning out my thoughts and writing down my notes and recording each episode and simply Let an AI version do it all.

Whoa. So, okay. Yeah, I'm stalling here. And the reason I'm stalling is because I've made it through 32 episodes of this podcast without addressing this goddamn topic. And I was quite happy with that, but it's finally time to address the elephant with an unnatural number of toes in the room. Artificial intelligence.

Okay. Yeah. So this is a no win situation for me. I hope you understand that. I ask you to take a second to notice how much of the fear response you're experiencing right now while you listen to this episode. I'm noticing my own fear response in recording it. [00:02:00] So notice any tension in your body. If your heart feels like it's racing?

Are you hoping I'll take your side in the AI debate? Are you afraid of what might happen to your respect for me if I express a point of view that differs from yours?

I really do want us all to notice how much our fear response kicks up, and how our need to become extra entrenched in our position on this topic flares when someone simply mentions it. Since I'm sort of the fear discussion gal, as in, That's the whole point of this podcast. I would be remiss not to ask you to consider why you have this much fear around the mere concept of artificial intelligence use among authors.

Just consider, is that helping you? Are you even open to letting go of some of the fear you're grasping onto so tightly? If not, that's okay, but you might not be ready [00:03:00] to listen to this episode where I ask the question, then. What if AI replaces me?

Because of the way this question is phrased, I assume most of those listening to it will be more to the side of fearing AI or adverse to AI than embracing it. So I'll mostly talk to those folks, but I will also have some things to consider for the pro AI authors who might be deeply entrenched in their position that anyone who doesn't embrace AI fully, or at least to the exact same degree that they have, is.

Is a Luddite who deserves to get left in irrelevancy.

Fair warning. You will not be finding out where I fall in this debate personally. Consider my position irrelevant to the discussion because while I'll touch on some of the ethical debate around AI, especially its creation, the point of this episode is to help you understand how your fear is playing a part in your thoughts, emotions, and behaviors [00:04:00] around AI, not to tell you where the line is on no one knows where the line is, even though a whole hell of a lot of people seem to think they know exactly where the line is, and it's wherever they fall on it.

Also, it's nobody's business where I fall on AI. So you think you have it right wherever you fall on this sort of spectrum, this continuum of AI, pro or against, or else you would think something different. But someone else thinks they have it right just as hard. So what gives? Add in the fact that ethics around technology have always been a moving target.

So what you believe today will likely look different from what you believe in 15 years. I know that's uncomfortable to hear, but all of the data about how people's opinions are influenced by society points to that being the likely outcome here. And it's not necessarily a bad thing, it's just a thing.

Now, I bet you didn't expect to hear moral relativism come from a 1 today, did you? I'm leaning into that [00:05:00] 9 wing for this episode to try and help people see what they're not seeing, that the OTHER side is seeing.

There's this funny thing that people do when it comes to anxiety. Right? And this is all of us. We assume that how anxious we are is exactly appropriate to the situation. Anyone who is less anxious than we are is blind to the reality of the situation, and everyone who is more anxious than we are is overreacting and needs to calm down.

We tend to believe we've found the exact right point on the worry continuum and everyone else is too far in one direction or the other. I made kind of a joking video about this a couple years back when I started working out more. It was like, do I think that I'm better than everyone who works out less than I do?

Yes, and everyone who works out even a minute longer than I do each week obviously has a weird workout addiction. So recognizing that our brains do this, that the point we stand on in a continuum like anxiety about a situation is [00:06:00] obviously going to seem like the logical best place or else we would not be there.

But that, that does not mean that every other point on the continuum must be wrong. So looking at a situation that way, is what we call intellectual humility. So I hope we can all practice some of that for the next half hour or so as I continue to talk at you.

I've been lurking on the internet and author spaces, listening to the arguments between authors about AI for a while now. By and large, the loudest stances are not particularly nuanced, and Best self show up, which is a sign to me that there is a shit ton of fear guiding the discussion or lack of discussion.

So I won't tell you not to be cautious or worried, but maybe you can think about the situation in a new way where the fear doesn't pull you outside of yourself into distraction [00:07:00] and, you know, drive you to try and change the minds of people on the internet, which is a hobby that is generally believed to be a waste of time.

So here's something I've observed about this discussion. The people who are strongly against AI can't get past what I heard described on the New York Times podcast, The Daily, as the original sin of AI. So, that original sin is that these AI models, like Chat, GPT, BARD, so on, scraped all the written text available online, including copyrighted material, like that from which authors make our living, to create the models we know today.

There are a lot of people who cannot get past this original sin, and I think we can all agree that makes sense. So when you look at this straight on, you can see that there has been a violation of law, and seemingly no justice for it.

No matter where you fall, AI [00:08:00] debate. You can see how that basic premise runs counter to the most essential social tenants of accountability and justice. If someone feels like they've been violated, and having your work fed into an AI model without your permission and without financial compensation feels like that to many authors, then If you feel like you've been violated then you want some kind of justice and correction that feels equal to the violation.

Now equal to the violation is important here. It's why we don't just like agree to give serial killers a slap on the wrist and fine them a thousand dollars before sending them on their way. Equal to the violation is important in justice. So I don't know about you but I haven't yet seen any justice or accountability close to equal to the violation these authors feel they've received.

And that's a formula for the emotion of anger. Anger is an energy that arises in us when we feel like we've been violated or wronged. It's fuel for action [00:09:00] to right the wrong or push back in some way.

Violation without adequate justice is also a recipe for fear. Because imagine looking at all these multi billion dollar tech companies using your work without permission or payment, and you see them not receiving any meaningful consequences for the violation, and you know that probably there is no entity with enough power, authority, and motivation to accomplish anything close to regaining compensation or stopping the violations from happening in the future.

You, an artist, trying to make money off your copyrighted material, have essentially zero power, and see no one around you who can adequately protect you. So that feeling of powerlessness is a recipe for fear, among other emotions. If you're gung ho AI, and you can't pause to relate to these emotions, Others are feeling if you skip directly over compassion and empathy and go to, well, I [00:10:00] don't agree that they should feel this way, then you're not actually open to this discussion at all.

You're entrenched in your position and too scared to be open to other viewpoints. If that's the case, the best thing you can do right now is to turn off this podcast and spend a little time with that fear until it can lessen its grip on your mind, your heart, your body, and then come back to this podcast.

If we're not open to empathizing with the underlying emotions of the other side, then we're not open to a real discussion. There's no intellectual or emotional humility there.

Now, the people I see who are the most hardline, anti AI authors simply cannot get past this original sin, this sense of violation. It is incredibly difficult to move past a violation when you feel like it's never been properly addressed. We can ask the remaining indigenous people of America, or descendants of slaves, or any victim of crime whose perpetrators were either Never caught or caught, but not [00:11:00] held accountable.

I think that's a relatable feeling for most people who have empathy, this feeling of violation without any sort of repair. And when I hear the pro AI authors discuss the new technology, I don't usually hear them addressing this original sin. It's almost like it's being erased or dismissed because it's inconvenient.

I mostly hear People saying things like, yeah, it's not a great start, but let's look at the possibilities of how this can help us. To be fair, these may simply be people who prefer not to linger on the past for various legitimate reasons. Some of this might be healthy, right? It might look a little like, well, except things you cannot change and relate to reality as it is.

I think there's an argument to be made for that, especially since, yeah, you, me, our little group of author friends are not, on our own, going to stop the continued development of generative AI models and their thieving of copyrighted materials. There is no bulldozer for us to lay [00:12:00] down in front of here.

We're up against too much money. And that fucking sucks, but it is kind of the truth, y'all, isn't it?\ We don't have to like that this is how the world works to accept it enough to at least not let it ruin every day of our lives. Can you still take a personal, individual stand against that?

So there's the lack of acknowledgement of the violation that's rubbing some people wrong, and there's the sense that people are lingering on the violation and trying to ignore the reality that's irking others. So before anyone judges the people who accept that the original sin cannot be undone and are ready to look ahead to how they wrangle AI to their will, I think it's important that we take a look at ourselves.

Before we judge the people who are using AI, who have moved on past this original sin, let's pause and ask ourselves, in what ways are we also participating in the [00:13:00] systems of theft and exploitation in which we live? Do you sell your books on Amazon, a notoriously exploitative company?

Do you buy things from big box stores? Do you vote for elected officials who accept lobbyist money? Do you use Facebook, Instagram, Threads, or X to build your author brand? You see what I'm getting at here, right? I'm not telling you to not participate in any of these systems that are built on exploitation.

Shouldn't it's Almost impossible not to as an author in the modern world. What I'm saying is that we might consider the old, He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.

Thing that we all kind of know and yeah, it's weird to hear me quote the Bible I know especially a passage about stoning women, but this is a psychologically significant concept here There are aspects of our thinking feeling and behavior that fall outside of what is called our idealized Self image in the Enneagram if something falls outside of this idealized [00:14:00] self image We tend to turn a blind eye to it and not acknowledge it as ours To make extra sure that we don't have to see the unsightly parts of ourselves to own them and integrate them, we will project them out onto others.

Those people are the ones that think, feel, and act in the wrong way. Not me. We'll take it a step further and punish other people for having those thoughts, feelings, and actions that we ourselves have and do, but which we don't allow ourselves to see. This is a well documented pattern in humans and it's a real bummer, I gotta say, because it means that those things that other people do that really bug the shit out of us might just be things that we also do but are not allowing ourselves to see and own.

So here's a little of how this works. Let's say you're so, so tired of how long it takes your spouse to make a decision. Even stuff like where to go for dinner becomes a whole process of them going, [00:15:00] I don't know, maybe here, maybe there, maybe this other place, let me think about it. Ugh, right? I can almost assure you that indecision is a part of you that exists, but that you have disowned for one reason or another.

If you look at yourself honestly, maybe get some help from a friend, I bet you can find at least a few examples of you being indecisive or taking a while to make a decision. That's not always a negative thing, but if you've decided that being decisive is the right way to be and being indecisive is the wrong way to be, Or maybe an adult trained you to feel this way at a young age.

Then it doesn't mean that you don't sometimes need to mull over a decision. It just means that you've become blind to this tendency in yourself. Shoved it in the basement, as Dr. Jerome Wagner of the Enneagram Spectrum describes it. And when you encounter it in other people, it's like that indecision, is banging on the basement door trying to get out.

So what do you do? Oftentimes we feel [00:16:00] revulsion to it when we see it in other people. You want them to shove it in the basement too, so you're not the only one suffering in that way.

Once we start to see how this pattern operates, how we become blind to parts of ourselves and then punish others for exhibiting those same parts, the next step is to take accountability for ourselves and stop focusing on trying to control others.

When I notice annoyance at someone else for, say, being sloppy, a much healthier use of my time than berating them for being sloppy is to look at my own life, acknowledge where I am sometimes sloppy, and reframing that word to something more tolerable, like, I'm being human or cutting myself some slack because I'm overwhelmed, right?

And that's accepting that I also have the quality that I'm angry at the other person for having. And then I can extend the same generous relabeling to their behavior as I've given to mine. So instead of [00:17:00] leaving feeling like, oh, this person is so sloppy and I can never work with them again. I might instead approach them with, Hey, I have some notes on this.

Do you have time to change some of these things? We might also have a conversation to see if they're feeling overwhelmed and if I could support them in some way. So instead of severing the connection, I've just found a way to strengthen it. And all it took was for me to understand that my annoyance was probably a result of my own inner disconnection, and therefore I could heal something in myself to strengthen that connection.

Now, caveat, seeing a part of myself is not the same as allowing myself to act on that part. And we could use the example of murder for this. So when I hear people go, oh that person, that murder is a monster and I could never do that. I actually feel like, really? You don't connect to that entitlement of jealousy or rage or desire to control others at all?

That actually [00:18:00] worries me when people put those things completely at arm's length, because when we keep the ugly parts of ourselves locked in the basement, they can break free sometimes and we're not ready for them.

And I think of this every time I'm listening to something like Dateline, and they have an interview with someone who goes, Oh, he would never do that. He was such a nice guy. Well, you only saw the parts of him that weren't locked in the basement. So when I recognize my sense of entitlement, which I do have.

And probably so do you in some way. Rather than locking it in the basement, I'm much more likely to notice when it's trying to operate in my life, and be able to keep it from guiding my actions. If I just accept that it's part of me, then if I maintain my blindness to it and continue to deny its existence in any way inside of me, could I murder someone?

Yes, I do believe there are circumstances that could evolve where I felt entitled to take a life. Now, it would probably be in the [00:19:00] context that they're trying to kill me and I defend myself, but that is still entitlement to a life, isn't it? If you don't feel comfortable admitting to the same thing, then maybe there's a little work to do there so that you can recognize and steer those parts of yourself rather than letting them jump out and take the wheel later on.

What does this have to do with AI, Claire? It has everything to do with AI because as logical as our arguments on either side of this debate sound to us, We're focusing on other individual authors as the problem rather than keeping our own houses clean and free of prisoners in the basement. Productive discussion or even productive argument doesn't happen when we're only able to see where the other person is wrong and unable to see where we might also be wrong in the same kind of way.

So basically what's happening online that I see between the The problem with the super pro AI folks and the super anti AI folks is [00:20:00] that they're not actually having the same conversation, but because they're not listening, they don't realize that. So the anti AI folks by and large are saying, a massive violation has taken place, and I'm not okay with pretending it didn't happen.

I want to see restitution equal to the violation before I'm even willing to talk about the usefulness of the technology. And the response to that that I see from pro AI people tends to be snide comments about how the anti AI authors are Luddites. And when you realize they're not being Luddites, they just feel violated, it starts to seem kind of like a shitty thing to do to be smug about their inability to just get over it, right?

So maybe it's worth slowing down if you are using AI and you're very much pro AI and its possibilities. Maybe it's worth slowing down and saying, Hey. Yeah, let's have a conversation about how to get adequate reparation for the violation. And maybe [00:21:00] as we go through that slow process, we can also look ahead and have a conversation that I'd like to have and for the anti AI people.

What I hear coming from this group is unfortunately equating individual users of ai. Individual authors who use AI for their business to try and keep their small business paying the bills or because maybe they have a disability that the technology finally addresses. Equating them to the violators who committed the original sin.

But that doesn't really add up, does it? And we know this is a distraction tactic. We've seen this before. It's like when British Petroleum created the idea of a carbon footprint. You've probably heard of this concept, so I'll keep it brief. But basically, as BP was feeling the heat about their carbon emissions, they created the idea of a carbon footprint.

You could go onto their website and answer some questions about your lifestyle to figure out what your carbon footprint was. That is, how much pollution you were creating by being alive in a society [00:22:00] designed around fossil fuels. So this was a brilliant sleight of hand by BP, one of the top producers of greenhouse gases in the world, because it shifted the attention away from their culpability in contributing to climate change, and put the responsibility for fixing a global problem on each of us.

Most of whom, Our living paycheck to paycheck, and having to prioritize convenience and price over whatever the most eco friendly option is. The result of this little maneuver they pulled is culture wars between people about SUVs versus Teslas, using a drinking straw or not, xeriscaping or having a lawn.

And certainly we can take accountability for our part in much larger issues. But what I see happening with AI is the same trick BP and other fossil fuel companies pulled in many ways. We, authors, are turning on each other instead of looking toward the real source of the problem and using [00:23:00] collective action to get the accountability and maybe even the restitution we deserve.

The same goes for the legitimate complaint of how much water is required to cool the hardware needed for even the simplest chat GPT inquiry. You gotta admit that maybe asking the computer to summarize an email you're too tired to read might not be worth dumping out a full bottle of water, right? Or maybe you disagree, and that's fine.

And for those who are appalled by how some people seem okay using the models despite the information about the environmental impact, it may help to remember That we are all tired. So, so tired. And it's a big ask for our human brains to feel the weight of the environmental impact when we're just staring at a screen.

You don't have to know much about human psychology to know that the brain doesn't usually weigh out of sight disadvantages well with, uh, or against visible advantages. [00:24:00] And you can probably think of a time when the effort of, say, recycling something seemed like way too much, right? Maybe you had to wash it out, remove the label, maybe the recycling bin wasn't anywhere around, you're gonna have to take this thing home because these people don't recycle, right?

And so you just threw it in the trash. So again, let's grant others the same exceptions we occasionally grant ourselves. What I'm trying to invite everyone to hear is that authors who have a different position on AI than you need not be considered the enemy. And it's important to recognize that, because when our body perceives a bunch of enemies lurking around, our body lives at the razor's edge of a sympathetic nervous system response, or fight or flight.

And when we live like that, our creative thinking is smothered, and we get into burnout. So just as artists, we want to live like that as little as possible. [00:25:00] And one place to start is deconstructing our emotional patterns around this topic so that we can just have peace. We can just do what we need to do.

You can still take the stance you want to take for your business. I'm not telling you not to. But doing so doesn't require that you indicate to your body that there are people out there in this industry whose differing opinion means you harm. In this moment, as you listen to this, you are safe. If you're not making the money you want right now in your author career, I hate to be this gal, but it's not because of AI.

Not yet. Now that also seems important to own because it takes the power away from the big nebulous AI companies and puts some of it back in your hands. You can't scapegoat AI for all your ills yet. Maybe later, but not yet. I do see the scapegoating though. The scapegoating is starting to happen and it's worrisome.[00:26:00]

The problem with scapegoating is that it turns into a witch hunt soon enough. And witch hunts have never actually burned witches, right? So I've already seen this happening. I saw a claim just today that you can tell something is written by AI because it has a lot of em dashes.

Well, You might as well tie me to the stake and light my dress hem on fire because all of my books must be AI written then, even miraculously the ones from a decade ago.

There are a lot of authors who have mislabeled their action of persecuting others as defending the author community. These people have locked Persecutor in their basements so that they don't see that's what they're doing because it doesn't fit with their idealized self image. So I ask you listening to pause and consider the possibility that you might have slipped slightly into this pattern yourself.

Ask yourself if you have. If you've been trying [00:27:00] to root out authors who are using AI and expose them, then I can almost assure you that you have slipped into a persecutor pattern. And that's going to be hard to hear for some of you. And you're going to want to lob some harsh words, my way. If you follow that urge, you're missing out on an opportunity to see something important about yourself.

I mean, listen, I see this urge in myself. I'm a one, of course I have persecutor urges. And I feel that sense of entitlement to be judge, jury, and executioner. And I'm glad I recognize it so that I can integrate it and own it, but not act on it. I can stay a step ahead of its tricks.

Mostly. Not always, I'm sure, but mostly. And a final note, before I get into some fun Enneagram type specific stuff, is that most authors I talk to, most, are not on the extremes of this debate. But as usual, They are living under the [00:28:00] tyranny of the extremes, staying silent about their position because they don't want to be called a Luddite or a plagiarist.

And that's a feeling a lot of us can relate to lately, huh? Feeling like there is a small group at each extreme of a spectrum that threatens those who disagree with them with some sort of mock trial and public punishment. It's important that we ask how we're contributing to that as authors around the subject of AI.

It's also important to just remember that most authors I talk to, and I talk to a lot of them who trust me and are very open about their feelings on things like AI, most authors I talk to are somewhere in the middle. Right? So there are some AI technologies they feel comfortable using in certain ways, but not in others.

And there are certain AI technologies they don't feel comfortable using at all, and so they don't. And if anyone asks them about it, they won't answer, or they'll lie, which I think is smart, given the climate.

Let's break down this debate by Enneagram type to take an even [00:29:00] closer and less pleasant look at ourselves, shall we? We're already in Painesville for our ego with this episode, so we might as well keep going. All right, so let's start with the feeling triad and look at where the fear might be coming into play.

So 2 is the helpers. Where might your desire to be loved and appreciated or your fear of your help being rejected play into your attitudes on AI? 3 is the achievers. Where might your desire to be admired and seen as successful be blinding you to other important considerations in your attitudes about AI?

Four is the individualists. Where might your desire to be deeply seen and understood and your fear of being meaningless, where might those be playing into your attitudes on AI? Moving into the thinking triad. Five is the investigators. Where might your desire to be knowledgeable and competent and your fear of looking foolish be playing into your attitudes on AI?

[00:30:00] Six is the loyalists. Where might your desire to be safe and supported by others and your fear of being without guidance and support be playing into your attitudes on AI? Seven is the enthusiasts. Where might your desire for satisfaction and limitlessness, and your fear of deprivation and boredom, be playing into your attitudes on AI?

And finally, the action triad. Eight is the challengers. Where might your desire to feel powerful and invulnerable, and your fear of being harmed or controlled, be playing into your attitudes on AI? And nines, the peacemakers, where might your desire to feel connected and whole, and your fear of conflict and controversy be playing into your attitudes on AI?

And then ones, the reformers, where might your desire to be good and righteous and your fear of being bad or corrupted be playing into your attitudes on AI? [00:31:00] If you feel like your fears and desires aren't influencing your attitudes on AI. At least not in a way that shuts you off from other viewpoints.

Then think again. I hate to be that firm, but I also love it. Um, okay, so as I've talked about all through this episode, I haven't actually seen any other development in the industry in this time that I've been a part of it that stirs up more deep fears in people than AI has. So whether you're in touch with it or not, your core fear, and maybe a few others, are at play here.

If you haven't seen it, then you need to keep looking. So that's not to say that there is nothing to be genuinely concerned about when it comes to AI. Some of the stupidest people around, who think they're the smartest because they know how to code, have really opened Pandora's box with the recent technological developments.

And I'm not going to tell the people who are concerned about it [00:32:00] that it'll all be okay. Just like I refuse to tell people who are concerned about the rise of authoritarianism that that will be all okay. I doubt it'll all be okay. But we will have a better time assessing the reality. of the situation and addressing it appropriately, if we're able to stand beside our fear rather than drowning in it.

And listening to the perspective of others is the best way to keep from being hopelessly entrenched in our own position to our detriment. Because the truth is there are some excellent things happening with particular AI technology, especially in like the medical field. So AI is a tool. But maybe we can think of it as a wrench.

It's a tool that can be very useful in the right hands and can also become a murder weapon in the wrong hands. Our ability to relate to it from a place of reality rather than through the fog of fear or a haze of unearned optimism will determine the future of [00:33:00] humanity, most likely. And a lot of those turning point decisions are, unfortunately, outside of my control.

And yours. And most if not all of the people we know. But we still have some power over how we relate to it on an individual level, and how much space we give the fear in our minds. So if you're one of the many authors wondering, what if AI replaces me? I'll say this. It will only replace you if you let it.

If your sole purpose of writing has been to sell as many copies as possible, if you've lost touch with the innate benefits to the human mind, heart, and body of writing stories, then the fear of AI replacing you will have oxygen to grow.

But just as there are authors who have no desire to use AI to write, there are readers who see reading a book as more than just consuming words. They see it as an opportunity to communicate with [00:34:00] another human being through storytelling. And they will not feel satisfied with reading books that don't have Another human being on the other side.

So maybe human written books will become rare finds and therefore more valuable Maybe some authors will need to step up their craft To stand out with quality in the sea of AI generated crap and the swell of that sea is coming But as Dr. Malcolm so succinctly puts it in Jurassic Park Life finds a way AI is not alive.

You are. AI presents challenges to those who aren't interested in using it, but if you're waiting for your life to have no challenges or problems left in it, I've got bad news for you. There will always be a place for human written books.

I have no doubt about that. And maybe as you become more comfortable with AI, if you get some of the restitution you need to move past the violation of the original sin, you'll find yourself curious [00:35:00] about how the technology can help you tell your human stories. Or maybe you never get there. That's okay too.

But either way, I hope this episode leaves you with some new thoughts about what isn't in your control and what you can let go of trying to control as well as what is still in your control and where is a wise place to put your attention. My hope is that each person listening can find a little bit of humility about their position on AI that allows them to say, this is the right approach for me and my author business right now.

But I can see how someone else might arrive somewhere different, so I'm going to assume they know what's best for their situation, and stop viewing them as the enemy who must change their view or face punishment. This is simply the golden rule in action. If you don't want other authors to nitpick, criticize, or even ostracize you for your view on AI, don't do it.

Or anything else, the first step is to find a place inside of yourself where you don't feel [00:36:00] the need to do that to others. When you let that desire go, it's a huge relief, and suddenly you have a lot more attention and energy to best position your author career for the future of the industry. That's it for this week's episode of what if for authors, I'm Claire Taylor and I'm exhausted.

Thanks for joining me. I hope you'll tune in again for the next episode. Happy writing.

Episode 32: What if it's time to pivot?

Episode Description:

In this thought-provoking episode of What If for Authors, Claire explores the topic of career pivots and how they relate to the ever-evolving world of writing and publishing. Drawing from her personal experience, Enneagram insights, and industry knowledge, Claire helps authors reflect on when it might be time to make a change and how to approach that transition with clarity and courage.

Claire also shares candid updates about her own journey, including navigating energy shifts, health challenges, and a pivot point in her career. This episode is packed with actionable advice, Enneagram wisdom, and encouragement for authors grappling with the question: What if it’s time for a pivot?

Key Takeaways

• What is a pivot?: A career change that arises when the old path no longer serves your goals, values, or circumstances.

• Recognizing the right time: How to identify when staying on the current course creates more friction than moving toward a new direction.

• Enneagram insights: Each Enneagram type’s tendencies and challenges when it comes to making or resisting career pivots.

• Overcoming fear: How core fears and social connections influence your ability to make changes and how to build resilience against them.

• The value of outside perspective: Why sharing your pivot idea with a supportive and unbiased group can help shatter limited perspectives and make better decisions.

Support the Show: If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share the show with your fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation:
Is it time for a pivot in your author career? Share your thoughts and questions by reaching out to Claire at contact@ffs.media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm so glad you're here. My name is Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book for authors, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain.

So I've been doing a lot of deep thinking lately and trying to figure out how best I can adapt to changes in the industry and to, you know, the world to continue to offer the form of support that authors will need, whatever that looks like.

Well, you know, also making sure that I'm paying myself fairly for all the hours of work that I do. I have this tendency to spot where I can be helpful, create that thing, and then forget to pay myself for it. John is very patient about this pattern of mine, but I'm not looking to continue testing that patience.

So all of that is obviously not your problem. It's just what I've been thinking about, especially as I adjust to my own lower energy levels lately. [00:01:00] I don't think I've actually mentioned this on the podcast before, but I've been going through the treatment process for endometriosis this year. And it's, it's just been a lot, if you know anything about endometriosis, which most people do not, then you know that it's all kind of a mess and there's almost no medical research on it, despite it affecting one out of every 10 women.

Anyway, I've been managing that along with trying to keep all the plates spinning and. Yo, I'm just about out of gas for the year. So, I want to better support authors and make sure that I'm paying myself a livable wage next year, but I also have to be realistic that my energy, on the whole, ain't what it used to be.

And getting to the gym four times a week, which takes its own amount of time and energy, is a new requirement for me, so that my bones don't all start to break when I'm in my 60s. There is a point to my oversharing, and it's that I find myself at a pivot point in my career. And I know that even saying so aloud is going to make some people [00:02:00] nervous, because when we talk about pivoting, we're talking about change.

If you're one of my frequent clients, you're probably nervous that I'm going to be quiet. less accessible than I used to be, uh, with both my time and my pricing. And, you know, that's a normal concern. It's scary for us when we see others who have close contact with us in a moment of change, because it signals that we might also need to adjust.

And if you're a person in a moment of change at a pivot point, you might notice those close to you trying to fight against your pivot because of what it might require of them. I get it. I don't want my therapist or my doctor to go through a big change because I'm thinking, oh no, what if I can't see them anymore?

Do I really have to start all over with someone new? Like, if Texas laws ran out my OBGYN from the state, which they're doing for a lot of OBGYNs lately, I will literally cry. I would understand why she decided not to practice in a state that threatens her with life in prison if she [00:03:00] crosses some very nebulous and subjective line of care for one of her patients, but I would still be distraught.

So there is a lot of friction around pivots, not just internally, but externally. And sometimes it's still going to happen. So that's why on today's episode, we're going to ask, what if it's time for a pivot?

I always find it interesting what each person's tolerance is for things not working like they used to before it registers that change is the less painful option. It's an interesting question to reflect on. Looking back at your life, how much frustration can you endure with something that just isn't working, usually something that worked well previously, before you're like, screw this, I gotta try something else?

If you're wondering whether Enneagram type plays into this, the answer is most certainly, but probably not, in as simple of a way as we might initially think. For instance, you might be thinking that sevens are the first to go, this isn't working, let's try something [00:04:00] new. And when you look at an individual project, you might be right.

Sevens sensitivity to discomfort and pain might cause them to be the first to see that something isn't working. Now, does that mean it can't work with a little more effort? Let You'd have to stick with it to find out. So are sevens the first to pivot from particular projects? Sometimes. But are sevens the first to pivot from the pattern of jumping from one project to the next?

No. They will continue on with that pattern for a long time, overlooking the pain that it might be causing them before challenging it by staying with something through the initial discomfort point.

Meanwhile, if you're thinking that eights tend to be among the least likely type to pivot away from an issue, you might have a point.

Eights tend to engage in a pattern of forcefulness where they want to bend the external world to their will, whether it puts up resistance to that or not. So I sometimes encounter eights who are trying to force something to work because it once [00:05:00] worked, and they're not seeing that the environment around them, the industry.

has changed so much that they can force all they want, but they will not get the result they're hoping for. This can be incredibly unsettling of a realization for an eight who's unfamiliar with their forcefulness, not getting them what they want.

So your ability to identify when it's time to pivot and not jump the gun on it, but also not resist reality for much longer than necessary out of a fear of the unknown. That is a crucial skill to practice in this industry. It's crucial because it will keep you from burning out or never getting traction in the first place.

But it's a tough skill because it requires seeing things as they are, as much as anyone can claim to, rather than how we wish they were. And it also means risking disconnection with others, which many of us are incredibly reluctant to do. Here's what I mean about that though. So say you've been writing reverse harem books since just before the genre really took off a few [00:06:00] years ago.

You were lucky enough to be first in and made a ton of money and gathered a ton of fans to your pen name. But now those books aren't selling like they used to, and writing them isn't the easy, flowing experience that it used to be. So an argument could be made here that it's time to consider a pivot, possibly to another genre.

But doing so would risk disconnection from your loyal readers and the reverse harem authors you've networked with and created friendships with along the way. Can you still move on to another genre? Sure. But the potential risk to your social connections will likely contribute to your friction in considering it.

Depending on who you are and what other social connections you've developed in your life, the risk of losing those from your reverse harem pen name may be too great for you to take on.

You may instead try to push through on books that you don't want to write, send emails to readers that fake excitement about something you don't feel that excited [00:07:00] about anymore, and agonize over the diminishing sales rather than accept that it might make sense to pivot to a genre where you're either enjoying the writing, getting a lot more in sales, or both.

Humans are much less likely to pull away from a group where they have social connections and a shared identity if they don't have other groups that they feel a part of that will remain intact during the transition. So this is very important. If you want to create an environment where you can see the moment for a career pivot clearly, you must develop communities outside of your writing that you feel a part of.

If your identity is too wrapped up in the particulars of your career, your natural instinct to stay connected to a group will activate fight or flight when you consider leaving the group. That fear response is hugely detrimental to viewing the situation clearly and being able to see if the pain of leaving might be outweighed by the rewards of making changes.

So when I talk about the importance of having a [00:08:00] robust social network outside of writing, This is one of those solid reasons for it. I'm not just being judgmental, like, Ew, get a life. The smaller the portion of your identity and sense of belonging you find in your career, the better your ability to move and flow with the changing currents of the industry and your life situation.

Pivoting in your career may cause social conflict with your industry connections, but we can manage that without going into fight or flight much easier when the industry only makes up like 10 percent of our social connections rather than say 90%. Our sympathetic nervous system is much less likely to keep us in that constant fight or flight and our ability to critically and creatively think, very useful when making changes, will remain more available to us.

Sometimes when I'm working with authors who suspect it's time to pivot, but are refusing the call, the issue is that they are looking for certainty that the pivot will work before they start making it. You probably already know what I'm going [00:09:00] to say here. There is no certainty that anything will work in exactly the way you want it to, sorry.

The question to focus on instead is whether you're at the point where the pain of staying outweighs the risks of trying something new. Additionally, ask whether there is any pain of staying that would feel worse than the risk of leaving. This is a super important thing to be honest with yourself about.

What is the line for you? How much pain and lack of results are you willing to take to avoid confronting the uncertainty of change? And is that working for you the way you'd hoped?

If you find that you'd always rather stay in the thing that isn't working than try something new, then maybe it's time to do some deep work on your fear of uncertainty, and the fact that you will choose certain misery over uncertainty with a chance of happiness.

A lot of people spend their lives doing things that aren't working for them [00:10:00] because they're unconsciously choosing the unpleasant familiar. over the possibly pleasant unfamiliar. And do you want to be one of those people? It's a pretty tragic existence when you think about it. Now, I recognize that the stakes of risk are dramatically increased when your family's income is relying on your book sales.

That's certainly a consideration when looking at pivoting. And this is where the discussion gets incredibly individualized. Are you pivoting out of fear or because you're looking at the industry and your situation with a clear head recognizing. that there is likely a better option waiting for you on the other side of a pivot.

Fear work is unavoidable when one wants to be better at recognizing a wise moment to change course. Because if you haven't done that fear work, your core fear or vulnerability is likely parading as common sense. And that can get us into trouble.

So let's bring a touch of self awareness to this pivot party. Let's put some language to how our fear and avoidances [00:11:00] might be calling for us to pivot prematurely or not pivot when the moment is calling for it. Type one, the reformer may pivot or not out of a sense of self righteousness or to avoid criticism type type two, the helper may pivot or not. Out of pride or a need to people please. Type 3, the Achiever, may pivot or not out of a craving for approval or to appear more successful. Type 4, the Individualist, may pivot or not out of a sense of authenticity or to avoid rejection.

Type five, the investigator may pivot or not to avoid looking foolish or to feel competent and knowledgeable. Type six, the loyalist may pivot or not to avoid losing protection or appearing disloyal.

Type seven, the enthusiast may pivot or not out of a need to avoid [00:12:00] limitations or to seek distraction from pain.

The type eight, the challenger may pivot or not to appear strong and independent or to avoid powerlessness. And type nine, the peacemaker may pivot or not to avoid conflict or to remain unobjectionable.

If we're not aware of why we might be motivated to make a big career change or not, we can hardly view the full situation through anything but our fear colored glasses. What I suggest you try if you're trying to decide whether it's time to pivot or not, is to lay out the situation to someone outside of whatever social group you might be leaving behind with the pivot.

Even better if it's someone who has themselves made a big career pivot and might be able to reflect what parts of it they would do again and what they would do differently next time.

They might not be able to give you a definite yes, do it, or no, stay where you are, but sometimes breaking outside of your own interpretation of the situation by talking to someone whose [00:13:00] connection with you will not be threatened by what you decide to do give us new insight that helps contradict what our fear is telling us.

This is also why I continue to host the Liberated Writer course where we have group calls twice a week. It's an environment where a bunch of people are supportive of one another in a way that lacks self interest.

What I mean is that we understand that your career decisions don't actually affect ours. You're not surrounded by your in group whose self interest means keeping you from changing and possibly outgrowing the group. And when you share your situation and ask if it's time to pivot or not, people of different types offer up perspectives that are so outside of your usual operating system of fear that it's impossible to not gain a more robust perspective on the situation.

That's why I think that these temporary support environments built around a shared desire for each person's success are absolutely invaluable. A lot of the friction around pivoting is rooted in our limited [00:14:00] perspective, but we need added perspective from informed people who don't have a vested interest in us staying the same for the sake of maintaining relationships.

Even better if those people know a little bit about core motivation and can help us spot where our fear is limiting our vision.

I love having a place to run new ideas for pivot by people who can absolutely shatter my limited perspective by offering options, ideas, and even possible pitfalls that I haven't seen before. It calms my anxiety because I don't feel like it's all up to me. I have to think of everything.

So if you're reaching the end of the year when this episode releases or You're in the middle of the year and things just ain't happening like you had planned. Uh, and you know, maybe you're wondering, what if it's time for a pivot? I would say a couple of things. First, identify your core fear and vulnerability and poke around to see where they might be motivating the desire to pivot or your reluctance to do it when it's obviously time for it.

Look honestly at what [00:15:00] feels at stake with your social connections. You might discover that there's not as much at stake as your fear is telling you. Or you might discover that you need to spend a little more time developing connections outside of the industry so you feel freed up to make the best business decisions.

And then don't be afraid to run the situation past some folks with no vested interest in what you decide one way or the other. You don't have to take their word as gospel, and in fact I wouldn't recommend that, but allow it to shatter your narrow perspective so that you can see much more than you did before about the situation.

And then if you decide it's time to pivot, you gotta take action. You gotta actually do the pivot rather than sitting and thinking about it for years. Figure out the first step and then take that. It might be scary, but it might also feel exhilarating. Sometimes it's only through action that we can finally feel the full body recognition that we're headed in the right direction.

Thinking about it won't get us there. [00:16:00] Action will. So that's it for this episode of What If for Authors. Thanks so much for joining me. If you want some support with the pivot, I highly recommend you join the next session of the Liberated Writer five week course. There are payment plans available to make it more accessible, and you can tap into the perspective of me and other authors as you learn more about your Enneagram type and subtype, uh, that are operating below the surface for you.

To join the next session, go to ffs.media/liberated/writer/course, or just go to ffs.media and you can find the link on the front page. I'm Claire Taylor and I hope you'll join me for the next episode. Happy writing!

Episode 31: What if I hate working alone?

Episode Description:

Welcome back to another episode of What If? For Authors. In this episode, Claire dives into the question, "What if I hate working alone?" and explores the struggles, solutions, and Enneagram insights that can help authors navigate their loneliness while pursuing their writing careers. If you’ve ever wrestled with the isolation that comes with the writing life, this episode is for you!

Key Takeaways:

• Your Social Needs Aren’t a Problem: They’re just part of being human. Embrace them and explore ways to fulfill them creatively.

• Writing Sprints: how they work and why they’re a game-changer for many authors.

• Self-Awareness is Key: Understanding your Enneagram type can provide valuable insight into your strengths and challenges when it comes to working with others.

• Enneagram Insights for Collaborative Writing: Claire explores how different Enneagram types approach collaboration and solo work.

Support the Show: If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share the show with your fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation:
What helps you keep connected to others while working alone? Share your thoughts and questions by reaching out to Claire at contact@ffs.media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain. As anyone who has ever heard of a writer knows, it can be a pretty solitary profession.

That's why a lot of us got into it in the first place, frankly. We like that it's something we can do alone. That might be due to the fact that it's an activity where we feel safe to connect with parts of ourselves, or explore the world, or maybe it's a place where we have total control over a world. Not necessarily in a Megalomaniacal way, but in a therapeutic way. Or maybe it's a place where we can explore emotions or create friends we like to spend time with who aren't gonna like, ask us to pick them up from the airport.

There's an appeal in getting to create a story on your own time and [00:01:00] have a fun place to escape whenever you need that, that I probably don't have to explain to anyone listening to this. That is not really what this episode is about, ? This episode is about those moments when we're sitting down to write And the loneliness hits.

The social deprivation starts to set in. So this can happen even to the quintessential introvert from time to time. So I think it's worth exploring the question, what if I hate working alone?

You might be surprised. by how many authors I hear this from. Maybe they don't use the word hate, but they definitely talk about the restlessness and loneliness of too much solitary work and how they miss the dynamism of working on creative projects with other people. I feel that way too. I've been looking for opportunities to work with other people for years now.

Some work out well for a while, And some seem promising, but don't ever come to fruition. So there's a magic that we each get to hit every so often when we work with people who we just click with. [00:02:00] And that magic can become a little bit addictive. We want more. I always think back to this film crew I was on for seven weeks during the summer after my freshman year of college.

It was an internship where we helped teens create short films in various cities around the country. There was a group of six of us that went to each of these cities and it was just an instant chemistry between us. Everyone around us noticed too.

They called it a love fest and it felt like that. Not in like a Bacchanalian way, but just in the way where the creative collaboration came naturally and we instantly sort of had each other's backs. Literally, because I, I threw my back out during my week in New York City. I mean, it was really bad and the crew stepped up by carrying my share of the equipment and bringing me meals at the end of long days and just checking in with me, that sort of thing.

When I think about the potential of creative collaboration in a healthy community, I think of that crew. I've experienced tastes of it from time to time in the decades since, mostly in collaborations with just one other person. And it kind of [00:03:00] keeps me hungry to experience it again at some point. It also makes the long slogs of solo work just a little less energizing when I remember how effortless it can feel in a solid collaboration.

Ultimately, I ended up sticking with creative writing, taking that path instead of the filmmaking path because I was also aware of how soul sucking working on a crew could be if someone on it was just on an ego trip instead of genuinely pursuing the best possible product. The threat of that and the likelihood of it happening are what made being a writer a lot more desirable for me.

There's nothing shameful about being a writer who struggles to work alone, but you may feel like it. And there's definitely a spectrum to our threshold of how many hours or days at a time we can go without human interaction. So wherever you fall on this spectrum is where you fall. And where you fall this month may not be the same place you fall next month. A lot of people saw their threshold for human interaction [00:04:00] shift during the pandemic.

Mine definitely did. It may be best to think of it as a moving target, not a threshold. Reflective of anything about you except a need you have that fluctuates. So like, you know, some days I need a lot more coffee than others. Some days I need more sleep just because. I can guess at the reasons, and I do, but I also have the option of just allowing that to be what it is and not defining it as a problem.

We can treat the amount of social interaction that we need the same way.

You need what you need. It's not a problem. So let's just figure out how to get it. Now, the how of getting that interaction is obviously going to be varied based on your life situation. But one of the most common ways to stop working alone so frequently is to join a writing sprint group. You can join these online in basically any time zone you live in.

So it's an easy way to feel like you're connecting with others while you also focus on your manuscript. Sometimes our bodies [00:05:00] Social creatures that we are just need to know we're not totally alone. They want to sync with others somehow, and online writing sprints are a great way to do that, regardless of where you live or your ability to leave the house.

So that makes it extra great.

In my experience working with clients, the Enneagram types that Generally benefit from this sort of social syncing the most are 9s, the peacemakers, 7s, the enthusiasts, and 2s, the helpers. That's not to say that other types don't benefit from it, but if you're a 2, consider whether this would help keep you going on your work in progress.

Or even just knocking out administrative tasks you hate. I could also see 6s liking this if it was a group of people that they have some trust and rapport with. Otherwise, nah.

Now, if you're especially awake as you listen to this, you might be thinking, two sevens and nines are the positive outlook types. Does this have anything to do with it? No clue. No clue. It certainly is interesting though, isn't it? The positive outlook types are sometimes called the avoidant types, [00:06:00] so maybe that's what they're trying to avoid, is that black hole feeling of being completely alone in this world.

And, you know, I can't really blame them. Nines really, really benefit from co writing because they're so good at going with the flow of the energy around them. Nines, it'll be easier to do a focused activity if someone is doing it simultaneously with you, I promise. And this goes not just for writing, but in general.

Reading as well. You can sit and read with people. And to be clear, this isn't energy vampire shit we're talking about. This is expert level working with your natural attentional flow.

Nines confirm with me that they get more writing done when they write alongside others, I'll ask, well, why aren't you doing that as much as possible? Right? The answer usually boils down to, I shouldn't have to do that. Well, 9's tough shit. It helps you. Do it. There really aren't shoulds here. 7's especially benefit from pre gaming their writing with a partner or with a group, and connecting to their enthusiasm for the next scene. If you're a [00:07:00] 7. 7. You can tap into that fixation of planning just a little bit here to connect with the anticipation of what's happening next in your story until you're like spring loaded to write it.

7 is the externalized thinking center, so accepting that you like to process externally. It's just very important. It's very useful. Brainstorming with a partner, you know, then the two of you get to writing. That may be a really helpful process for you as a 7. In my anecdotal experience, 2s I do like to orchestrate writing sprints for others.

If I were to speculate about why that is, it would have something to do with the, you know, satisfying that need to be helpful long enough for them to get their own words down. So twos, if you're organizing sprints and it's working for you, keep organizing them because you're being very helpful. Your nines and your sevens and other people are very grateful for it.

So you've done your good deed and now you get to focus on your writing. But again, the why behind all of this doesn't really matter so much as [00:08:00] just how. How do you get what you need? If you're a 1, or maybe a 6, 2, and group writing opportunities don't help you focus, there are other ways to work with other people.

So these ways might be tricky for you if you haven't worked on some of your own patterns of control, because they involve more collaboration, which implies cooperation and sometimes concession. And did I just lose all of the eights here? I don't know. It may be worth our time to look at why each of the types might struggle to work with others in a collaboration, even though they hate working alone or just hitting their limit on it.

So let's run through the types one at a time. I said I wouldn't do this every episode. I haven't done this every episode, but I'm going to do it today. So we'll start with the nines, the peacemakers. So nines may frustrate a collaboration partner by not showing up. And I don't mean nothing. You know, I mean saying [00:09:00] yes or sure to everything, , rather than never saying no.

So when everything is a yes or a sure, it can make people mistrust your yes. Right, your collaboration partners, and they may end up spending a lot of time trying to ensure that you really mean it. Suspecting, sometimes correctly, that if you're not a hell yes, you'll end up being dead weight or acting passive aggressively later on down the line when everyone's already committed to the project.

Doing the work to be able to identify for yourself anything that isn't an enthusiastic yes, must be a no, or a let me think about it first, doing that will build trust between you and your collaborator to keep the relationship equitable. And, lively and energized. eights, the challengers, tend to struggle with making the necessary concessions to keep a collaboration a true collaboration.

eights, sometimes when you speak you may not completely be sold on an idea, but your commanding talk style will make it sound like you are, and others may just [00:10:00] assume you're set and won't budge. Even your questions, let's be real, even your questions come out of statements sometimes. And while you probably don't mind people pushing back and you might even enjoy it, not everyone has it in them to push back that vigorously all the time.

So eights can steamroll collaborators over time as a result until the collaborator just kind of gives up or escapes, which usually feels like being blindsided to the eight. So eights, if you notice a collaborative partner putting up less of a fight over time, maybe notice your pattern of pushing them even harder to try and get a reaction from them.

You might be overwhelming them and causing them to further retreat and check out instead. When your instinct tells you to charge in with someone who has, by and large, proven themselves a trustworthy collaborator, that's when it's actually time to take off the armor and lead with vulnerability. Start asking questions.

Sevens, the enthusiasts, may, you guessed it, jump [00:11:00] ship on a collaboration once it stops being fun, new, exciting, or pain free. Or you commit to collaborations with an easy out where no one is invested enough to create that satisfying alchemy you're looking for. If you don't want to keep working alone you gotta keep showing up when your collaborator is having a tough day, week, or even month. Because humans go through tough days, weeks, and even months. So if you want to collaborate with humans, kind of part of the deal. When you feel like making a break for it, Seven, try instead to go deeper.

Use the collaboration as an opportunity to experience those emotions you've been putting off limits to yourself. Meet your collaborator where they're at and sit through the discomfort to unlock a richer connection than you imagined possible.

Sixes, the Loyalists, tend to thrive on group commitments, so collaboration can be incredibly fun. But, obviously there's caveat, if you're a 6 who hasn't worked through your issues around authority [00:12:00] or begun to unpack those, there's a good chance you're picking crappy, exploitative, or even abusive collaborators over and over again, only complicating your relationship with trust.

A lot of sixes have stopped trusting their ability to identify a trustworthy person and will jump into a partnership or collaboration blindly only to be burned in the same way by the same type of person over and over again. If this describes your life, sixes, start looking for where you're mistaking trustworthiness with something else.

Are you assuming that Someone's power represents their trustworthiness, their self confidence, a lack of a healthy level of doubt. Try observing a person for a while before entering into a collaboration with them to see if those around them are loyal out of fear or love. Once you're in a collaboration, you can also practice extending the person the benefit of the doubt, which will keep you from over interpreting things as [00:13:00] betrayal and allow you to feel more grounded to maintain the relationship over the long term.

Fives, the investigators, tend to keep such strong boundaries up in collaborations that the other person may be left wondering if they're still in a partnership anymore. Fives, check in to see if your belief that other people are energy sucks is keeping you off from the energy boost that an open and vulnerable collaboration can provide.

People who are not fives may take your days of silence and lack of communication to mean something that you don't intend, so it falls to you to keep the communication flowing, even if that means communicating that you need a couple of days to not communicate and it's not their fault, they haven't done anything wrong.

But do question whether you actually need as much time alone as you think, or if you're just used to that and your collaboration muscles are a little atrophied over the years. Oftentimes, the answer to most of a five's problems is to open up more to [00:14:00] other people, not to shut them out. But if that's your pattern, shutting people out, yeah, you may struggle to maintain collaborations for long. Fours, the individualists, can sometimes struggle in collaborations if they center their emotions and inner state above the other person's.

So as the internalized feeling center type, Fours, you spend a lot of time looking inward to understand your emotions and perspective, and that's great for self expression, but sometimes it can lead to believing that expression is more authentic than everyone else's, which tends to rub other authors and creatives the wrong way, and can lead to a rift in collaboration. Can also lead to a cycle where the four ends up in. Break up after break up with artistic collaborators and cultivates the idea that no one understands them or that working with others somehow corrupts or prohibits the truest form of their expression.

If this hits close to home for any FOURS listening, the fix is actually pretty simple. Remember that the other person's ideas and contributions are just as [00:15:00] true and authentic as yours, and when you combine the two to create something, you get something even more universal out of it.

THREES, the achievers. Can find themselves impatient with collaborations with others, especially if the other person wants to take their emotions into consideration or slow down to take precautions or think things through. Threes, your love for efficiency, can lead you to start to wonder why you're taking on the dead weight of a collaboration if it doesn't 10x the speed of the process.

This attitude might put strain on the collaboration as it's expressed as, hey, this thing that matters to you, that quality, depth, richness, whatever, doesn't actually matter to sales or rank, so I don't see why we're wasting time on it. If collaborations frequently, You can use that as a call to slow down and connect with your emotions and what you care about in art to create something that's better than the sum of its parts.

[00:16:00] Twos, the helpers, can struggle in collaborations because, oof, I don't know how to say this other than you tend to pick people who really need you. And then they keep on needing you forever until you start to wonder about whether they would show up for you if you needed them. Or worse, they stop needing you.

And that feels like rejection, which can lead to some interesting interpersonal results.

Twos tend to yo yo from a ton of collaborators to zero collaborators until they can address how to pick collaborators and opt for a criteria other than, they need me. Maybe you have chemistry with the collaborator that helps you express yourself. Maybe that's the criteria. Or they feel like a safe person to be messy and needy around.

Maybe they really have their shit together, and that's actually refreshing energy for you. Not because you don't have your shit together, but because you keep picking people who seem to need so much help. If you see yourself switching from a [00:17:00] lot of collaborations, to desiring to be totally solo and possibly like scorch earthing everything to make it happen, , the criteria for how you pick your collaborators might be something to look at.

Because what the twos tend to do is help, help, help until they're out of gas, nothing left to give, and then cut everybody off. Which, not great for collaborations, but when twos can be met with the same helpfulness in someone else. It's beautiful. And finally, ones the reformers can struggle to keep collaborators because, let's face it, we have an idea about how something ought to be done, and we're not afraid to nitpick people until it's done that way.

So our sensitivity to criticism can also mean that the necessary feedback loop of a collaboration can feel like nonstop criticism. And now that can cause ones to retaliate [00:18:00] at their collaborator for giving them too much you know, just basic feedback on something. Additionally, the ones focused on fairness can get out of hand with a tit for tat mentality that doesn't necessarily respect the large scale ebbs and flows of a collaboration over time.

So ones you can stop keeping score, And you can start trusting that your gut will speak up if the contribution gets too out of balance for too long. Tap into your heart center a little more to extend compassion and grace to your collaborator from time to time. The same compassion and grace that you may struggle to give to yourself.

And if you do that, the relationship is likely to last longer.

Now, these are just some initial lines of inquiry for each type to look at for what work they have to do to make partnerships and collaborations more viable as an option in their career. We can't change the patterns of others, but no matter who we are, we have patterns that keep us disconnected from others that we [00:19:00] can start to own and address and chip away at.

I will say it sucks to stop blaming other people for all the failed friendships, relationships, and partnerships in our past, but learning how we contributed personally to the downfall is some of that essential shadow work that really moves mountains if we're brave enough to take it on. I'm not talking about beating yourself up here because punishment and accountability aren't the same thing.

I hope you hear that. Punishment and accountability are not the same thing. I'm talking about going Oh yeah, that is a thing I always do, and I can see how it's not getting me the results I hoped for. Maybe I'll play around with a new approach and see if that works better.

Blaming others may seem like a great way to avoid pain, but what it tends to do is distract us from the part that we played. Perhaps a small part, But apart all the same, which keeps us locked into the tired old patterns until finally we're ready to turn our attention away from what others did to bring about the outcome and really start to look at ourselves.

And [00:20:00] that's where the liberation comes from. So doing so is painful, but it blasts away the mechanisms of constriction that make connecting deeply to others difficult or exhausting. And oftentimes those mechanisms of constriction are what make connecting. working solo so much more preferable. Until it's not.

But doing this work of spotting how the patterns in our relationships reflect patterns in ourselves is a great way to make connecting with others seem much less terrifying and much more enjoyable and fulfilling. So if you're an author who hates working alone, there are a few things you can look at.

First, stop questioning whether you need for working alongside others or collaboratively with others is normal and just go get what you need. Figure out what that could look like and then start pursuing it and asking for it. And secondly, do some of the work around your type and how your patterns may be straining your ability to feel truly [00:21:00] connected to others in the way you're craving.

Be that creatively, emotionally, intellectually, physically, or spiritually. Own your patterns. Ask if they're actually doing the thing you thought they would do. And then try something new if needed.

You are still a quote unquote real author if you hate working alone. Fuck anyone who tries to gatekeep who is or isn't a real author. Practice radical acceptance of what you need to keep telling your stories and then continue refining your approach to getting that. It's just that simple and that tricky.

But I know you can get there. If you reflect on your life, you can see how you've already made progress in that direction. So keep going. Even if you consider yourself an awkward person, which many of us authors do, this work will help you feel more connected to others.

So that's it for this week's episode. We're [00:22:00] heading toward the new year and I'm making some moves over 2025. Got big things coming down the pipeline to help authors like you meet other authors you might want to collaborate or co work with in the future. So stay tuned and make sure you're signed up for my email list at ffs.media/join. I'm Claire Taylor and I hope you'll join me for the next episode of What If for Authors. Happy writing.

Episode 30: What if I don't know the next step?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If? For Authors, Claire tackles the question: What if I don’t know the next step? Whether you're stuck in your author career because of a lack of information, poor timing, fear-based decisions, or discomfort in the present, Claire offers insights and actionable ideas to help you move forward. She also explains how the virtues of your Enneagram type can guide you when you're feeling stuck. If you're unsure of what comes next in your author journey, this episode will provide clarity and inspiration.

Key Takeaways:

• How to identify if your next-step uncertainty is due to a lack of knowledge—and where to find reliable information.

• Why timing might be the issue and how to recognize when it's time to act.

• How fear and discomfort can mislead you into searching for "emergency exits" instead of staying the course.

• How to avoid jumping ahead to steps you're not ready for.

• Ways to use the virtue of your Enneagram type to find clarity and peace when you’re stuck.

• Why self-compassion and trust in yourself are key to navigating uncertainty.

Resources Mentioned:

• Alliance of Independent Authors

• The Creative Penn

• Kindlepreneur

• Podcasts: The Sell More Books Show, Wish I’d Known Then for Authors

• Book: The Enneagram Guide to Waking Up by Beatrice Chestnut and Uranio Paes

Support the Show: If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share the show with your fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation:
What’s keeping you from taking the next step in your author journey? Share your thoughts and questions by reaching out to Claire or joining the What If? For Authors community.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book for authors, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain.

Let's jump right into today's episode where we ask the question, what if I don't know the next step? We may experience this in our author career in a literal sense or in a more existential sense. And we'll talk about how to figure out which one it is and how to determine the first step for figuring out the next step.

I've been sitting in this space for a bit myself lately. For one, it's the time of year when it always happens to me when I get, retrospective on my business for the last year and just kind of assess what worked, what didn't, and what I should try next year instead. But I've also felt like I'm not really sure of the next step [00:01:00] on and off all year.

So this is an issue that has really gotten my attention lately, and I do believe I've come to peace with a lot of it and spent enough time observing my process and approach that I can maybe offer some ideas today. If you feel like it's time to take another step in your business. Maybe you just published a book, and now it's time to decide on what to do next, but you don't see a clear direction to move in, the first thing you might try is asking if you don't know the next step because you're lacking industry knowledge.

Is this simply an education gap that you're running into? In other words, what data or information are you lacking that already exists that you could go out and find? And do you know where to find it?

This may look like not knowing how best to market a book or series, learning about an ad platform or reading up on story structure to support the next book idea that's floating around in your head. Do you need to gather information or learn something to be able to know what to do [00:02:00] next? Does that information already exist somewhere?

This can be tricky because we run into the problem of not knowing what we don't know. If you suspect that might be the case and that might be where you are, you can try browsing collections of knowledge for authors like the Alliance of Independent Authors website, or the Creative Pen, or Kindlepreneur, or you can listen to a book marketing or writing podcast like Somewhere Books Show or Wish I'd Known Then for Authors.

Essentially put yourself in the right place to catch the inspiration and information you need to start seeing the next step and learning how to get started on it.

So not knowing the next step might not be a matter of practical knowledge or information. Sometimes it's a matter of timing, and this one is really tricky for humans to accept. You might know that a next step needs to be taken, and you might have a general idea of what that next step will be, but the timing and [00:03:00] conditions Might not be right just yet to take it.

So that could be where the resistance to taking that next step is coming from for you. So your gut might be saying, Nope, not yet. Just wait. And that's hard because people are by and large, terrible at waiting.

Being able to wait. and sense the right moment for it requires a certain amount of faith and trust. And these are skills that we develop through some of this work. So faith is that we would have faith that the conditions will meet a basic threshold if we can wait. And then we learn to trust that we'll know when to take the next step.

So when we talk about this process, though, I do have to say that some people get stuck waiting for perfect conditions, and those ain't coming. So practice identifying when something is good enough. That's a very important skill. For instance, if you're looking for a new genre to pivot to, and you're trying to find a sub genre that's on the rise, that's [00:04:00] trending up, but hasn't exploded yet.

on the scene completely yet, you might identify a few possibilities and want to wait until there's some sort of clear indicator that it's absolutely the right time to start writing in that subgenre. You might be waiting for that before you get started, right? So you could be waiting forever or you could be waiting until it's too late.

So a lot of the successful people in this industry Knew where good enough was right? They're not waiting for perfect conditions. They're waiting for good enough and they pulled the trigger and The book flopped a couple of times, but they kept trying and one of those times paid off So if you are too afraid of the risk of a flop You will end up waiting for perfect conditions that will never come, and then wonder why you feel like you're stuck in decision limbo.

And it's important when we're trying to gauge where good enough is that we give ourselves a lot of room to get it wrong. If you don't give yourself room to get it wrong, [00:05:00] then you're just sunk, because you're not gonna get it, you know, quote unquote, right. The first time. Um, if you do, it's a hundred percent luck,

So it's okay. Let yourself get it wrong a few times and you'll get better at sensing this over time.

All you really need to do is get close enough to an ideal or however ideal you can get, you can realistically expect, and then. Make it work from there.

A lot of my not knowing the next step this year has been about timing. So for one, I knew that I wouldn't have a good feel on what people wanted to read or what support authors would need until after the election because it is so pivotal in the, , world landscape. So the information I needed to know for the next step was simply not available yet.

What I like to do when I can tell that I'm unable to move on to the next step because it's not time yet is to [00:06:00] allow myself to kind of play around with a few different directions. So this is my strategic strength coming through, so your mileage may vary here. But when the timing is right, and because I have spent years learning the signals of my intuition, , through practices like mindfulness, but also just a lot of painful reflection, I've since learned to trust that my gut will tell me when it's time to make a move.

So one of the options I've been playing around with will become a fairly clear winner. It won't be perfect, but it'll edge out the others, and I can move forward from there and make it work.

Some skills one might need to develop to be able to do something like this are patience, the discomfort of knowing you have no control over the passage of time, the ability to tell when your body is calling you to action, because action is appropriate, not just because your body is feeling it. antsy and impatient, and the ability to allow yourself to get it wrong.

The last part, that [00:07:00] ability to allow yourself to get it wrong, is why I'm always encouraging practices of self compassion. If you have a history of beating yourself up for things because they didn't work out, , for taking a path that didn't pay off, then the stakes are raised for being absolutely sure that the direction you take will work out because you don't trust that you can allow yourself room to make mistakes. But when you build trust with yourself, that you are doing your best you can, with the information you have, and you know that you'll be able to forgive yourself if things don't work out, you suddenly have a lot more room to breathe and proceed with a curious mind rather than an anxious one.

Claire: the other possibility for why you feel like it's time to take the next step, but you don't know what that is, is that it's not time to take the next step, but instead an underlying fear of the present is making your attention shift toward emergency exits. Does this sound familiar? [00:08:00] So, maybe you've just published book three in a series, and you intended to go on for a while with this series, more than three books, but you're thinking, nah, it's time for something else.

Is it really? Or is a core fear telling you that book four isn't the logical next step, and now you're looking for an out? That can be something to ask yourself, and if you're not sure if you trust your answer, try talking with some friends. So you might be surprised what they reflect back to you. So maybe they say, you know, you get like this every time you hit book three in a series, and you're able to notice that pattern and spend a little bit of time poking around at it to see what you learn about yourself from it.

Or you can come talk with me and I can ask you a bunch of questions that your own mind won't think to ask because it's frankly colluding with your fear. in a misguided attempt to protect you, but it may be that the moment you consider that your struggle to find the next step is that you already know the next step but your fear is telling you to do anything but that, it could be that you immediately [00:09:00] solve your own block when you just look at that. And then sometimes we get stuck on the next step because we have a sense of what it is, but it's outside of our current experience and it asks more of us than has previously been asked. When this is the case, sometimes we don't have the support in place that we would need to be able to take that next big step.

That doesn't mean that you shouldn't take that next step, but it might indicate that your first step to the next step is to build more support for yourself. So this could look like hiring a business or writing coach, asking your spouse to take on more responsibilities temporarily, or creating a group of authors who are in a similar moment of their career who you can check in with weekly or on an ongoing basis in a group chat or something like that.

I suggest you ask yourself what support would be wonderful to have. No, I didn't say, what support do I need? Some of y'all are not great at judging that because you [00:10:00] may think you shouldn't need support at all. So what support would be just really fantastic to have? What support would make this feel really, really easy for you?

And then just work toward building some of that for yourself.

And now here's a twist I'll throw at you. It's possible that it's not even close to time for the next step, but living in the current step. is too uncomfortable. So you're trying to skip ahead. This can look like, , finding the emergency exits, but it can also look like trying to jump to the next step in a career for someone who's making six figures when you're still struggling to break four figures.

So it could look like trying to build infrastructure for your business. before your business needs anything close to that much infrastructure.

As sort of a silly example, maybe an author doesn't need to think about hiring a security guard for a conference they're attending before anyone knows who they are and what they write. So yeah, that's an absurdist example, but hopefully it illustrates the point. So [00:11:00] sometimes authors skip ahead to solve problems of success that they aren't even close to having because That's a more pleasurable experience than being in the reality that they don't have the success yet, and that they need to keep writing books and learning new skills before they do.

So notice if you're trying to jump ahead to next steps that are actually like 20 steps ahead of where you are. Now if you've gone through this list of possibilities and you're still stumped, and you know that there's a next step ready to be taken but you don't know what it is, one exercise you can do to unstick what's stuck is to is to look to the virtue of your Enneagram type.

So what wisdom does it offer you to handle the discomfort of not knowing the next step yet? If you're not familiar with the virtues of the types, no problem. I'm about to go through them, , for you. And just as a note, depending on what text you're pulling from, these virtues might be described a little bit differently, or even use a different word sometimes, but I'll be [00:12:00] pulling from the Enneagram Guide to Waking Up by Beatrice Chestnut and Yerani O. Pais.

The virtue of the one is serenity. So this can look like accepting the natural rhythms of life, rather than always trying to fight against them or make them more perfect, according to whatever our ego decides perfect is. Could you stop trying to orchestrate the next step quite so hard, and see what

naturally flows when you accept the rhythms of life around you. The virtue of the two is humility, and this can look like acknowledging that you are not a superhero, and you have needs that matter as much as those who you serve. So it can also be to look at how your fear that you're not important has been causing you to take on too much, so that you can feel important.

Could you stop thinking? about the next project and instead think about what you're currently tackling that you need to ask for help on or [00:13:00] give up completely.

The virtue of the three is veracity. This can look like pausing to sort out the false selves you present to the world from the real you. It can look like examining where your career has been boxing you into these false versions of you, and where more transparency might allow you, I don't know, space to breathe and discover that you don't have to keep performing behind masks for people to want to connect with you.

Could you ask yourself how your need for a next step is keeping you from the pause that you need to take to discover your worth outside of your projects?

The virtue of the four is equanimity. This can look like stepping outside of the ride of your emotions to observe them rather than be them. It can look like taking in life more as it is rather than accepting the mirage of it that filters through your emotions as truth. Could some of the back and forth you feel about the next step be alleviated by [00:14:00] Zooming out so that your conclusions don't shift every time your emotions or your mood do.

The virtue of the five is non attachment. This can look like opening up to the inspiration, emotions, knowledge, and energy of the world around you. It looks like accepting what meets you, allowing yourself to be influenced as a pathway to connection, rather than rejecting connection and influence, fearing that it may drain you or lead you to irrational patterns.

Could you let go of some of your need to know the whole process moving forward, or to understand the whole situation and instead listen to where your heart and intuition are telling you to go for the next step in your business?

The virtue of the six is courage, and this can look like letting go of the need for assured safety and letting a deeper sense of purpose carry you forward. Trusting that you can handle whatever comes your way.

Sixes often get stuck on the [00:15:00] next step because they're trying to catastrophe proof it by thinking of every way it could go wrong and pre solving that issue. before taking the action. So this process can last forever, if you let it. So could you let go of your need to know how things might not work out and instead experiment with any possible next step?

Really, anyone will do. when you're stuck in doubt. Could you experiment with any possible next step to notice how well you're able to adjust to the unexpected?

The virtue of the seven is sobriety. This can look like staying focused on one project or task at a time, and remaining steady in the present rather than looking ahead to anything that's to come. Endless stimulating possibilities and distractions. It looks like feeling grounded in yourself long enough to see a project, task, or even a relationship through to the point of real satisfaction rather than jumping ship [00:16:00] when the initial shininess sort of wears off.

Could you let go of the anticipatory dopamine of every imaginary next step for a while and focus instead on what the present project is calling out for? Could you hold off on thinking about the next step until you complete the current one?

The virtue of eight is innocence. This can look like letting down some of your defenses and resting from always anticipating an attack. Rather than expecting to be met with hostility, you can practice assuming you'll be met with kindness. And in doing so, you may stop inviting hostility with the armor that you're wearing around.

Notice where you're conceptualizing your career with a conqueror's mindset. Might your need to remain in a power up position against enemies? Frankly, invisible enemies be driving you to take next steps before you truly have the resources to take them. And isn't that [00:17:00] kind of allowing your fear to take power away from you by always driving your business from a position of fear?

Could you make decisions out of something other than a mentality of hit them before they hit you? And how might your next step be different if you did? The virtue of the nine is right action. This can look like an awakening to your own priorities and an understanding of the impact you can have on the world.

If you shake off the lethargy of the comfortable routine, rather than opting for doing the same things you've always done that sort of blend into the background, you recognize what the moment is calling for and how you can deliver it effectively. And then you take action based on that. Could you wake up to what the moment is calling for from you?

Could the next step have been waiting for you to let go of your comfortable routines this whole time? What obvious opportunities have you been asleep to because they require you to be more visible?

[00:18:00] I know that looking at my own virtue of serenity has really helped me with the question of next steps this year. Speaking from experience, the idea of embracing that virtue might sound distasteful or icky to you, but once you give it a try, what you'll discover is the huge amount of relief it brings you. Our brains will for sure protest and say this is so far from what's familiar for me that it must be bad. But once we take that leap of faith and give it a try, we tend to feel like, oh no, this is way better.

Why was I resisting it for so long?

So if you're wondering, What if I don't know the next step? Start by figuring out if the issue is a knowledge gap, a matter of timing, a fear based issue, or some other attempt to avoid necessary pain. And then look to your types of virtue as guidance for what to experiment with that you may not have experimented with before.

So [00:19:00] those are some next steps for your next steps. That's it for this episode of What If for Authors. I'm Claire Taylor, and thank you for joining me. I think you know the next steps from here, and if you don't know yet, you know the next step to finding the next step. I hope you'll join me next time. Happy writing.

Episode 29: What if I'm shouting into the void?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If? For Authors, Claire dives into a fear familiar to many writers and humans: the unsettling question, What if I'm shouting into the void?

Publishing, marketing, and building an audience can feel isolating, like waving at a motion-sensor sink that refuses to acknowledge you. Claire explores the deeper human fears behind this feeling—questions of meaning, agency, and connection—and provides practical insights to reframe your mindset and regain motivation.

Key Takeaways:

• Recognize the existential unease that comes with publishing and marketing.

• Shift your focus from unattainable goals to meaningful milestones.

• Apply mindfulness to redirect unproductive thoughts and feelings.

• Use the “Three Ps of Optimism” (personalization, pervasiveness, and permanence) to combat self-doubt.

• Transform interactions, even with a small audience, into rewarding connections.

Why You Should Listen: Claire addresses the challenges of comparison, the dangers of fear-based motivation, and the importance of celebrating progress, no matter how small. Whether you’re shouting into the void or engaging with a handful of readers, this episode will guide you to shift your perspective, connect authentically, and move forward in your author journey.

Support the Show: If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share the show with your fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation: Have you ever felt like you were shouting into the void? What strategies have helped you? Share your thoughts with Claire by emailing contact@ffs.media or connect on social media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book for authors, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain.

How we doing today, y'all? We ready for a slow pitch here? I feel like we all deserve an episode every now and then that doesn't feel like a direct attack, which the Enneagram stuff sometimes does. So let's discuss something a little less scary, shall we? And I'll try and keep it as unscary as possible, but y'all know me.

I always find a way. Anyway, let's ask the question. I hear a lot from authors. What if I'm shouting into the void?

Publishing books by nature will trigger this fear. We may feel it looming as we're writing the book, wondering, what if I [00:01:00] publish this and no one reads it? And we may feel it when we post something on social media or send out an email to our list. I liken the feeling of shouting into the void to that moment where you're at a motion sensor sink and you're waving your hands more and more to get the damn thing to turn on and nothing's working and you're wondering, do I even exist?

Am I a ghost? There's an essential human concern that we contend with when we talk about shouting into the void and that's the fear that maybe we don't matter. That can be a terrifying feeling when you reach out and touch it. What if I don't matter? What if I could disappear and no one would notice?

Now I won't linger on this fear too long because every time I wonder about it, I don't like the thoughts that follow. But it's important to acknowledge just how deep and fundamental of a concept we're dealing with here when we feel like we're shouting, into the void.

As far as Enneagram types go, I think [00:02:00] all are susceptible to this uneasy feeling of wondering if we matter. I've been rereading Man's Search for Meaning this week, and it's reminded me of just how essential it is to human perseverance and well being that we feel like we have a unique contribution to the world.

In other words, that we matter. in some essential way. This may look a little different for each type, but I can't think of a type who wouldn't worry about this, at least subconsciously.

So if some of your marketing or publishing journey is making you feel like you're shouting into the void and you're confused why that gives you such existential heebie jeebies, it's probably because of the essential human need to believe that our lives matter and that we have agency and influence in the world.

I highly recommend you treat yourself to a little bit of that belief. It makes getting out of bed and doing stuff easier. Even if you don't really buy it right [00:03:00] now, what's the harm in entertaining it for a while? While no author is exempt from the occasional feeling of shouting into the void, it does tend to happen more frequently when we're new to building an audience.

So this could mean you're a new author, or it could mean you're starting over with a new pen name and don't expect your existing audience to carry over. Or maybe you're starting on a new sales platform, like moving your books to a new retailer, or starting on a new social media platform. Let's be real, sometimes you've spent a lot of time trying to build on a particular platform, and it still feels like you're shouting into the void. You're posting things or publishing books, and it feels like you're getting no response back.

This is often the case when you're first starting out because you don't necessarily have anyone viewing your content or reading your books. If you're trying to skip to mass appeal and target everyone to come read your book that nobody has heard about, you're probably going to find yourself rather [00:04:00] disappointed and disheartened.

This may even look like you have a lot of Facebook friends and you just published your first book, so you post on Facebook about that book and ask people to go and read and leave a review. New authors are often surprised by just how loud the crickets are when they do this. You may get a lot of people congratulating you on your first book, and then go and check the sales dashboard, and there are zero sales.

You may even have people say that they bought the book, and you go and see that there are zero sales, so you're like, oh, well, they're just lying. We can have a lot of feelings, but those feelings do tend to be essentially a chemical reaction between reality and the expectation. So when we adjust the level of our expectation, that can make a whole lot of those feelings fizzle out because there's nothing to react so caustically with reality at that point.

If you're starting with an audience of zero somewhere, whether this is a new platform [00:05:00] or new social media, If you're trying to jump from zero to 1, 000 too quickly, you're going to activate that feeling of shouting into a void. If your attention is focused on that goal number of 1, 000 followers or 1, 000 sales, or it could be any other goal, right?

Just pick a number. We tend to look at 1, 000 though. That's what I hear a lot from people. What tends to happen is that we overlook numbers like 1 or 2. So those lower numbers start to feel meaningless when compared to the total goal we're shooting for, which tends to be much higher than what realistically happens in that first phase.

But one new follower, or two new subscribers, or five copies of your book sold are how you get to 1, 000. That's how it's done, and you're doing it. So if the feeling of shouting into the void is the predominant [00:06:00] experience you're having, the solution is to shift your attention away from what you have not yet achieved to what you have achieved.

And this may seem overly simplistic, but our ability to shift our attention from what we don't have to what we do have is is essential for feelings of well being, like gratitude and self worth. So, it's really no small thing, and to be quite honest, most people are absolute shit at doing it. Most people don't realize what they're doing in the first place, because they haven't been practicing mindfulness, which is the ability to observe.

Our interstate, and they haven't been observing their thoughts in this important way. And then they also don't believe that it's going to make a difference, there tends to be a belief that we will lose motivation completely if we allow ourselves to focus on the successes that we have already achieved, rather than looking at [00:07:00] all that have not yet achieved. There's certainly something powerful In the belief that there is yet more in this world for you to do and achieve.

So I'm not saying to give up on that. But if your fear is keeping you from allowing yourself to focus on the wins, You will flame out before you can hit whatever your goal is.

A lot of the times when authors will come to me and say that being on social media feels like shouting into a void, I will say, yeah, it's basically that. You can stop doing it if you want. I stand by that with social media because it does require so much internal regulation to keep redirecting our attention to the one or two people who like our content that we spend an hour on rather than wondering why. More people didn't like our content. And in the end, our author business would probably be better off for the time being.

Just not including that. Right? Not including that social media. But if you can really develop this disciplined approach of [00:08:00] redirecting your mind away from an expectation, Of more interaction on social media than you're getting and toward recognizing how amazing it is that you got some interaction. And really developing those people by replying in the comments and reaffirming that some people do like your stuff.

Then social media can continue to be a place where you get as much as you give. And of course, if you hate social media for some reason, You're always free to not use it. You can still have an author business, which I've talked about before in these episodes.

But there is one potential void that we really can't escape as authors, and that is the void that we shout into when we hit publish.

If you're publishing a book for the first time and you haven't been really working hard to build an audience who is waiting for that book, then if you sell a copy of it in your first month after publication, you are making progress. Before you [00:09:00] published, you had sold zero of that book, and now you have sold one.

And I'm not meaning to be patronizing here. It's very easy to lose that essential understanding the moment we jump into a Facebook group of authors and they're, you know, showing their dashboard of how many thousands of copies a month they sell of their books. It's really easy to lose sight of the fact that selling five books in the first month of, say, indie publishing is a pretty big deal.

Not everyone does that. More importantly, five people now have your book, which is pretty cool. Now, comparison, seeing those people selling all of that, all of those books that we wish we could sell, and then looking at our own sales numbers. Comparison is a trap that we fall into over and over again, which means that we have to practice getting ourselves out of that trap over and over again.

And we do that by returning our attention to what is, not [00:10:00] what isn't, the number of sales we have made. Not the number of sales we think we should have made and the difference between that and the reality.

And you may be saying, but Claire, I've seen so many people in my genre post how quickly their books take off as soon as they publish them. Mine should be doing the same.

Let's not forget that people who are not meeting their own expectations and feel like they're falling short. , are probably not posting their results on public forums. I mean, eventually you will see someone who's in a complete spiral post how few sales they're getting after writing like 40 books or whatever.

And you might even compare your situation to theirs and think favorably. of your situation by comparison, but this is still comparison, and we would have just fallen into the comparison trap again. So don't be fooled by thinking that comparison is fine as long as you come out on top. It is still a trap, and it [00:11:00] pulls you in and seduces you by making you feel momentarily superior, but you will eventually crash and burn and feel bad.

Inferior.

Now there are a few rare people who can use the success of someone else as intense fuel to motivate themselves to do what they were already planning on doing, right? And just do it better. And sometimes they even end up doing better than that person they're competing with in the end. And that's all fine and good for a while, but you can see how this could eventually end in a crash and burn scenario. And also, sometimes this competitive drive, while it may motivate us to work harder and more passionately, it may be impossible to win the battle that you have set up in your mind. You may not have the resources or the luck that you need.

And it doesn't matter how much motivation or drive you have, because that's not the only factor in the equation.

And what can happen when someone assumes that having motivation is enough to compete with anybody [00:12:00] is that they may push themselves way past their limit and not. In like a healthy growth kind of way, but in a burnout kind of way. And then things can get pretty ugly from there. We start to see people compromise their deepest values, burn bridges, and even put themselves into the hospital just to win.

So even if you are a competitive person, and this nature of yours has led you to push yourself to amazing places that boost your self worth and make you feel powerful and competent, it would still behoove you to keep a mindful eye on that impulse because It can go too far, like any impulse. And if you're adding a sense of impatience to that need for accomplishment, then you are really in a danger zone.

And there's nothing like staring into a void to cause that particular impulse to overdo itself. So, some situations are more void y than others, and some void y situations are avoidable, [00:13:00] while some aren't. We have options here then, that's good news. Let's backtrack for a second though, because the solution to the problem of feeling like you're shouting into one of the unavoidable voids is, as I've laid out, to shift your attention away from the distance between where you are and where you want to be, and focus instead on where you are in comparison to where you were, to acknowledge progress, in other words, and to summon up gratitude for what you have, not focusing on what you don't have.

It may seem like a simple shift, but if it were an easy one, more people would be doing it. So why don't people do it, and how do you do it if you want to practice? I alluded to this before, but more people don't do it. More people don't shift their attention away from the part they haven't accomplished yet to give themselves a little recognition, because they don't actually believe it will help.

They probably even believe it will hurt. Maybe you believe this too. [00:14:00] In that taking a pause to catch your breath, feel gratitude for the readers who have shown up, who responded to that holler in the void by buying the book, leaving reviews, emailing, and interacting on social media will somehow prevent you from ever possibly reaching that higher goal.

That's the fear. The degree to which we believe this, that feeling satisfied and accomplished. My sap us of the energy we need to continue onward toward our goals is the degree to which we rely on fear to motivate us. But remember, fear isn't the only motivator. We have desire, passion, purpose, and meaning to fall back on.

But we have to try tossing aside the crutch of fear motivation to prove to ourselves that there is something else that will hold us up. We may feel off balance for a while, but we'll get there if we can hold out on relapsing to fear based motivation.

So that's why [00:15:00] more people aren't practicing this simple shift of attention. And now here's how we start doing it. So the first step is to notice that our attention is going to that void. That gap between where we are and where we want to be with our audience building or sales. This is a skill we develop through repetition, and there is no shortcut around that.

We practice by being the observer of our thoughts, emotions, and actions through the process of it. You guessed it. Mindfulness. We do that by reflecting back on the patterns of our life, often with some sort of external help like a therapist, a teacher, a coach. But even like a solid book about this can go a long way too.

And then we start to see what we haven't been seeing. We start to notice that we frequently have the thought of say nobody will ever read these stupid books or I should be selling more or what am I doing wrong that nobody is responding to my posts. These are all thoughts that tend to appear when we're focusing on what we [00:16:00] don't yet have rather than practicing gratitude and appreciation for what we do have.

They're very common and they're also incredibly counterproductive to motivation because they don't imply agency in our situation.

In other words, they imply that we can't do anything to change this. So if you haven't heard of the three Ps of optimism created by psychology researcher Martin Seigelman, or if you've heard of them and you need a refresher, let's talk about those for a second because it's really a useful tool for evaluating your thoughts for validity.

These three Ps, when they show up, take away our feelings of agency, our ability to feel like we can influence the situation in a positive direction, and ultimately our motivation to try.

The first P is personalization. So notice when something isn't going the [00:17:00] way you wanted, and you immediately attribute it to some deep character flaw of yours, rather than considering the many, many other options. For instance, a friend agrees to read and review your book, and then that review doesn't show up when you expected it to.

If your self talk sounds like they must have hated the book and they just didn't want to tell me, then you're probably falling into the personalization trap. Just as likely, they were busy and forgot, or perfectionism trap trying to write the perfect review for you. It may not be about you, and it may not be about your book.

So notice when your thoughts jump right to personalization and don't consider all the other options. The second P is pervasiveness. This looks like a single unfortunate turn of events growing really large in your mind and overshadowing everything else. So this happens when we turn all our attention to the negative thing.

We water [00:18:00] that seed with our attention, and it grows until it's all we can see if we're not careful. By noticing when we feel like, ugh, everything is doomed, from a single decision or disappointment that we suffer in our career, we can pause and remember to intentionally look for everything that is going right and well, and water those seeds.

With our attention instead.

The third P is permanence. This looks like assuming that what's happening right now, what you're thinking, feeling, and experiencing will last forever. This is super unhelpful because if you don't think things can change, what are the odds that you're even going to try? Very demotivational. If you hear yourself use language like always or never in relation to your career, you can be pretty sure that you're falling into a permanence trap.

Just because your first book launch was a dud by your standards doesn't mean you'll, quote, never make money doing this. Notice where one event is being duplicated and [00:19:00] then projected into the future.

So, noticing the three Ps in our thoughts is a great place to start with this mindfulness stuff. The second step is to shift our attention towards something else that is working better. A little self talk goes a long way here. Now, with self talk, you can do this in your head, you can do it aloud or in a journal.

Instead of personalization, talk through as many reasons as you can think of why the results you're getting might be attributable to something other than you're a shit author and even more a shit human being, right? Instead of letting that one disappointment overshadow everything else, Talk yourself through all of the victories you've had recently.

So, look at those reviews you, you did get, right? Even if it's only a few. Those are steps forward. Uh, think about the email you got from a fan, even the enjoyment you gave yourself writing the book, bring your attention to that, [00:20:00] let those grow large in your awareness. And you might find that your list of victories can actually go on for quite a bit.

And finally, instead of permanence, try to imagine yourself in the future looking back on this time when you were just getting started and how insubstantial of a moment this current moment was in comparison to all of the wonderful things you had coming your way.

As your future self, imagine if you'd given up and then assumed that there was nothing better. Now, if you're having trouble imagining this future self, great news, you can simply be you in the present, right? And look back on some negative experience that you thought would last forever, middle school, say.

And notice how many interesting and unexpectedly great things have happened since then. Maybe you got your first book deal. Maybe you got a dog, maybe you got married, maybe you've had kids.

The ability to observe our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, and question [00:21:00] whether they are capital T truth, is the best tool we have for steering our attention away from the demotivational options, and toward the truly motivational ones. Knowing that circumstances can improve if we keep trying to improve them, is the best tool we have for steering our attention away from the demotivational options, is hugely motivational, and it's also true, but sometimes we lose sight of it, don't we?

I know that I do. Uh, it helps to have friends around to remind us of these things. So the more we practice this skill of observing our thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, questioning if they're getting us the results we want or not, just objectively speaking, and steering our attention toward beliefs and practices that will motivate us with something other than fear.

And, you know, remind us of our agency. The easier the skill of mindfulness will become. And the quicker we'll remember to do it. And that's important. Because that means spending less time feeling like we're shouting into the void, and more time connecting with the progress that we've made. [00:22:00] Remembering that we've made progress Is hugely empowering because it reminds us that we can continue to make progress, that we have agency and influence in this world, and that Ultimately, we do matter.

Of course you matter, whether you believe that or not. But that's beside the point. So if you're asking the question, what if I'm screaming into the void? You have a few options. You can walk away from the void, if that's something like social media, or a particular publishing platform that you just, you know, You can stop all that screaming into the void and instead have a civilized conversation with the people who are responding to your books and content, regardless of if that's only 10 different people, the choice is yours.

And so is how you feel about the situation. Notice what thoughts you're having around those triggering places. Notice P's are [00:23:00] showing up for you. And remember that you can redirect your thoughts by saying. That thought isn't doing what I'd hoped it'd do. I'm going to experiment with this other thought for a while instead.

And then repeat that thought to yourself and notice how it makes you feel. Now, fair warning, it might make you feel a little jittery simply because it's unfamiliar or it goes against a rule that you internalized when you were young and in a system of control. So, if you feel a little jittery, it might just be because it's unfamiliar, not because it's not unfamiliar.

A better or more useful thought for you. So you may wonder, am I allowed to think that? Yes. You're allowed to think whatever the hell you want. No one has to know. Go wild. So that's it for this episode of What If for Authors. Thanks for joining me. And if you feel so compelled to leave a rating and review for this podcast, I greatly appreciate each [00:24:00] and every person who takes the time out of their busy day to do so.

I'm Claire Taylor, and I hope you'll join me again next time. Happy writing!

Episode 28: What if my country collapses?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If? For Authors, Claire takes a deeply personal and urgent approach to addressing a fear many are grappling with in the wake of political turmoil: "What if my country collapses?"

Drawing from her experience as an Enneagram-certified coach, Claire provides a framework for navigating the overwhelming emotions that often accompany these moments of uncertainty. She explores the power of grounded nervous system work, community connection, and the unique role that authors play in shaping culture and fostering resilience through storytelling.

Key Takeaways:

• Why it's crucial to recognize that you cannot save your country alone.

• Strategies to co-regulate with others and create calm amidst chaos.

• How authors can reclaim their agency and wield their words as tools for healing and transformation.

• A story of endurance, support, and unexpected hope shared by one of Claire's Enneagram mentors.

• Reflections on how each Enneagram type can contribute to collective healing and action.

Why You Should Listen: Claire doesn’t shy away from the hard truths about the moment we’re living in, but she also provides hopeful reminders. If recent events have left you feeling paralyzed or powerless, this episode offers both validation and actionable insights for moving forward as an individual and as part of a larger community.

Support the Show: If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share the show with your fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation: Share your thoughts with Claire by emailing contact@ffs.media or connect on social media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm glad you're here. My name is Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors, as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book for authors, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain.

I was not planning on doing this topic for an episode, but it's so clear that we need to talk about it. It's been a point of discussion, if not concern in every coaching call I've had since the U S election earlier this month, even with clients who live outside the U S so there's, there's really no point in pretending otherwise.

Let's talk about it. Let's ask the question on many people's hearts and minds. What if my country collapses?

First of all, if you're thrilled with the results of the U. S. election this year, I'm not [00:01:00] sure that this is the episode for you. If you're genuinely curious about the emotions of people who voted for the other side and are open to hearing the legitimate concerns laid out and discussed, if you're open to wondering if your vote might have unintended consequences for people whose lives are just as valuable as yours, Then of course, you're welcome to stay and listen with the intention of understanding.

But if you voted for a bunch of Republicans that are not open to the possibility that your vote will have very real and negative consequences for others, and frankly, for you too, before long, then this episode is not for you. You can go listen to something else. You're free to do something else. Before you head out though, I would be remiss to not leave you with a quote from the German Lutheran pastor Martin Neumuller. I might be mispronouncing that. , and you might've heard this quote before. [00:02:00] So he was a supporter of the Nazis during the rise to power and eventually became outspoken against the Nazi Party.

In other words, he was a man who changed his mind, or rather had his mind changed. He said, First they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out because I was not a socialist. Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out because I was not a trade unionist. Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out because I was not a Jew.

Then they came for me, and there was no one left to speak for me.

The idea that we can scapegoat one or two groups and that the fire will never come back to burn us is one that has been debunked throughout history. So I hope you can come to terms with what you've unleashed and do what you can to set it right moving forward. Like Neumuller did. Again, probably mispronouncing that.

Okay, yeah, that's what the Enneagram shadow work allows us [00:03:00] to do. That's why it's crucial for growth. It allows us to see what we've done, take accountability and determine the best path toward making things right, if need be. So if you are someone who is very excited about, the Trump victory, I hope you'll take that quote with you on your way out.

Okay. If you're one of the people who is disheartened, disillusioned, or even despairing as a result of the U. S. election, this is the episode for you. It's also for anyone abroad who might experience a similar situation as it is likely to happen in various countries in the coming years. As authoritarianism, fascism, and oligarchy starts to seem like a better idea to certain folks.

I don't know. I don't If you haven't picked up on it yet, I'm not going to be unbiased here in that I don't feel neutral on what to me seems like a matter of compassion, accountability, and connection to ourselves and our fellow humans. I'm [00:04:00] not going to mince words in this episode. I don't think it's the time for that.

And I honestly don't know how to explain to people why it's important to care about others. So I'm not going to waste our time on that. Maybe I'll try it a couple of months or so. Maybe I'll have the energy to throw my energy right into the garbage disposal at that point. But for now, I simply do not feel compelled to pretend that I think voting for Trump is morally excusable.

Even if someone does actually believe that the economy is bad and Joe Biden is to blame, I don't think it's morally excusable to vote for Trump. This is my one coming out. I understand that. I haven't worked all the way through some of the anger and moral righteousness I feel right now. So this is what you're getting though.

, you know, at the end of the day, I've been a victim of sexual assault on more than one occasion by men in positions of power over me. And so I do find it personally distasteful that anyone would be so cynical [00:05:00] as to accept that a sexual predator is ever the best pick for public office. That's a degree of cynicism that I hope to never fall victim to.

Anyone who doesn't believe that he's a sexual predator does so despite overwhelming evidence not because of any lack of it. When someone is so set on believing something despite the evidence far be it for me to waste my time and my precious life trying to convince them otherwise.

Anyway, I think it's important for you to know that I'm not sugarcoating anything today because I'm actually going to give you what I consider to be a hopeful message and I need you to understand that I wholeheartedly believe it myself, despite how much anger I felt over the last couple of weeks. So again, I recognize that anger is the vice of my Enneagram type, so I had to wait until I could work through that.

To at least get a whiff of serenity before I could sit down and record this episode. I don't want to [00:06:00] impart any additional misery onto anyone here. At the same time, I'm not here to assure you that everything will be okay because it will not be. When we zoom out though, we may notice that everything has never been okay.

And it has also been extra not okay for particular groups of people. So I won't lie and tell you everything will be okay because that not only dismisses your feelings, but I think it dismisses reality. What I will remind you of today, though, is that you still have power. Lots and lots of power. And you can find ways to experience moments of being okay.

Maybe even joyous in the midst of everything, not being okay.

First of all, I'm not really convinced that America will collapse. Contrary to the title of this episode, it might, you know, I've been wrong before, but that's hardly anything you or I [00:07:00] can prevent individually. Right. If you feel like it's up to you to stop all these crazy things from happening, that's probably why you're feeling exhausted today.

Okay? It's not up to any single person. To be clear, you cannot save this country on your own. I really need you to internalize that it's not your responsibility or within your power. And if you believe it to be on any level, all you'll end up connecting with is a sense of complete powerlessness.

If you were raised to be hyper independent, then somewhere inside of you, you might actually believe that you're responsible for cleaning up this mess. So the first shift we want to work on within ourselves in this new environment is the idea that we must do everything on our own. That is not true.

Never in history has any one person cleaned up a mess this big on their own. It's always been a group effort. That gets us out of messes like this one. So let's take a deep breath. [00:08:00] Let's inhale deeply through the nose into the belly and then exhale all the way out. Do that a few times whenever you notice the feeling that you're in this alone.

You are not in this alone. None of us are. And that's great news. We are here for each other. And the best way to be here for each other is to do the things I talk about in these episodes to stay grounded and connected to your agency.

A lot of what needs to be done individually for ourselves is nervous system work. So this looks like increasing your quiet time for meditation, prayer, stretching. Deep breathing, terror, whatever helps you feel spiritually grounded in the present and calm.

But even our nervous system isn't an individual sport. We co-regulate with the people [00:09:00] around us. It's a lovely little design feature of the human body. It's easier to reach a calm state when you are around someone who is in a calm state.

Similarly, it's really difficult to reach a calm state when you're around someone who is dysregulated. Trolls, for instance, are dysregulated people by nature. They want to dysregulate others because misery loves company. So it's crucial to our journey toward being better regulated and better regulating our nervous system that we limit our exposure to trolls as frequently as possible.

That can be a little bit difficult as an author, but it's not impossible. Choosing who we spend time around and when during the coming months is going to be an important decision for us and our well being, as well as our ability to just get the words done, because we're writers, remember?

But this choice is within your power, so don't give it up.

And that brings [00:10:00] us to really exploring all of the power you and I still have. I want you to think about how many quotes you saw in the days following the election that were passed around the internet from movies, TV shows, and books. People wrote those quotes, writers like you. And those quotes are what society looks to in dark times. Authors shape our culture. Always have. And our culture has been imbibing poison lately, clearly.

But you have the power to write words that change people. You have the power to write words that heal people. Words that keep people going when times are exceptionally shitty. That pull people back from the precipice of cynicism and keep them hoping enough to keep going, to keep fighting for themselves and for others.

If you don't see the power that you hold in your hands as an author, [00:11:00] it's because you're running scared from it, not because it's not there.

If writing feels frivolous to you in light of recent events, here's what I have to say. You either need to stop fighting how important your stories are to people out there, or You need to write more important stories. So my purpose on this earth as an Enneagram Type 1, as a reformer, and this is just as I see it, but my purpose is to light a fire under your ass.

Okay, to wake up myself and others to what is right and good, and what collective action is needed to move us toward that. We each have a gift to bring, and to get to that gift, we have to cut through the fear that keeps us from it. What did you think we were doing all this work for together, right? Just to fuck around?

No, we have important work here. Not more work that can be expected of a single person, but important work all the [00:12:00] same.

When I think about the writers and thinkers I respect the most They by and large existed in dark times, in dark places. They faced oppression way more than any white woman like me is facing today.

The dark times are when we find out what we're made of. And I hope you accept that challenge with hope in your heart. I really do. The day after the election, I silenced my phone. John was in Houston for a case, so I had lots of time to practice solitude in the morning. One question that started really tugging at my attention was this.

What if I'm built for this moment? Now there's a what if for you, right? What if I'm built for this moment? The strange thing is, I felt a certainty almost as soon as I asked the question that I am built for this moment. How could I not be? I was shaped by the events leading up to this moment. [00:13:00] Now, I may not fully see yet how I'm built for this moment, but I know that I am in a way of knowing that really just lives deep down in my bones.

And, I believe that you are too.

Maybe you still have to learn how you're made for this moment, but we each have a pretty big hint that our writing may be a part of that.

I've since started uncovering how I made for this moment bit by bit. And while I don't expect you to be particularly interested in me and all of my personal stuff, I'll explain my logic so that you can apply the example to your own life if you want to.

I do believe that I was built from my core all the way up to be a menace, to be a problem for people who are taking advantage of others. Now, if someone who knew me as a goody goody in middle school heard me say that, they might disagree, but I think even that perfectionist part of me is a crucial piece.

I [00:14:00] always want to know the rules, which is how I can find the loopholes and exploit them for chaotic good reasons.

I also care more about following my conscience than staying safe, which my nervous system doesn't always love, but which works well as a reformer. So I've been writing satire and sharpening that sword since I was in high school. I love poking fun at bigots. Nothing makes me feel more alive than undermining egomaniacal authoritarians by making people laugh at how utterly silly they are.

I've been reading psychology, sociology, philosophy, feminist theory, critical race theory, and history just for fun for years now. And continuing the work of deconstructing all the structures of control that interfere with the liberation process. I have a pen name entirely dedicated to satire. I have readers ready for the next book without even meaning to.[00:15:00]

I've built myself to be a problem for others, for the right people in a moment such as this. Now this is probably not how you were built for this moment. Almost assuredly not. We can't all be built in the same way. You're probably just looking at the odds, not built to be a menace, but that's okay.

Maybe you are, maybe you aren't either way is fine. But I think if you look closely at the work you've done through the years, the skills you have and your unique outlook and position in society, it will become obvious how you are built for this moment, how you've built yourself for this moment without even meaning to.

There are important dishes that each Enneagram type brings to this potluck. There are elements that this moment is calling out for that each type can offer.

You don't have to offer the one associated with your type either. You can bring that, or you can bring another one, or you can bring a few. I mean, [00:16:00] truthfully, we can each bring all of them in small portions since we have all nine types inside of us. So let me just give you a jumping off point. If you're struggling to understand how you might be made for this moment, here's what I see being called for from the nine energies of the Enneagram.

One's moral courage and integrity. Two's steady compassion. Three's the path to change. Four's artistic disruption. Fives, context and clarity. Sixes, courage and cooperation. Sevens, joy. Eights, advocacy. Nines, reconciliation.

Personally, I'm trying to bring all nine of these to my life, but I'll admit that my lowest type, the nine, is definitely showing here because the idea of reconciliation is a tough one for me. I struggle a lot with the idea [00:17:00] of reconciling with certain people, but I can reconcile with parts of myself and that's important work too.

Maybe the most important. That being said, speaking with nines does give me a better understanding of the importance of reconciliation. So thanks nines. I'm going to leave a lot of that work up to you though. Best of luck. Okay. So take a second and ask yourself this question. How am I built for this moment?

I suspect that the fear that many of us feel is a result of worrying that we aren't built for this moment, that we don't have what we need to personally withstand it, and that it will crush us under the weight of it. What a powerless feeling that is. But remember, you have power. And I believe that accessing it might start with discovering how you are absolutely built for this moment.

I'm going to tell you a quick story that was [00:18:00] shared with me by one of the Enneagram teachers I've been lucky enough to have. Her client, Chris, which is not his real name, was a competitive endurance cyclist and had a big multi day race coming up. He was also a type six, the loyalist whose core fear is being without support or security.

So as the race day drew closer, Chris became fixated on this fear that his bike chain might snap when he was in a remote section of the race. So this wasn't like the Tour de France, so it's not like there were camera crews and volunteers all around. Now this particular fear became a sort of vortex, sucking in his attention until he was just totally fixated on it.

The problem was that he couldn't think of a solution that would work, and he wouldn't let the possible outcome remain unsolved. His bike chain snapping while he was in a remote area was a worst case scenario that he couldn't think his way through. He didn't see how he could keep going if that happened.[00:19:00]

He was without a good answer, no matter how much he fixated on the potential threat. And now we've probably all felt this at some point in our lives. With some coaxing, Chris participated in the race. And on his next meeting with my teacher, he told her that the worst had happened. On the final day, with the finish line not far away, as he attempted to pedal up a long steep hill in the pouring rain, his bike chain broke.

The worst happened, and he still didn't have a solution.

When she asked him what he did in that scenario, he showed her the front page of the local paper. It wasn't a picture of the race winner victoriously crossing the finish line with their arms raised in the air. Instead, it was an image of Chris, but not just Chris. Two other cyclists had seen him struggling with his broken bike chain.[00:20:00]

Rather than forging on, they had him get up on his bike and locked hands behind him, and together they pedaled him up the hill and helped him finish the race in the pouring rain. Chris's fear of his bike chain breaking had given him such tunnel vision, left him so panicked that he overlooked the obvious and perhaps the only possible solution.

that other people would show up for him. And lo and behold, that's what happened.

I shared this story with my email list recently, and it made many folks feel a sense of hope that they hadn't connected with in a while., I should note that I shared this story before the election because I needed everyone to understand that even if the outcome you dread comes to pass, you might be surprised by who shows up for you.

I spent the day after the election reaching out to all of my friends, checking in, seeing how their coping mechanisms holding up, because, I don't know, asking, how are you kind of seems stupid in this [00:21:00] situation. We don't always get the outcome we want, clearly. But we can always choose each other. We have that power within us until our dying breath.

Now, I suspect I don't know, but I suspect that there were a few cyclists who rode right past Chris and his broken bike chain, who didn't even consider that stopping to help him was an option. We can choose to be those people just as easily as we can choose to be the ones who stop.

God, I have so much to say in this episode. I really do. I have so many thoughts. Mostly, I'll say this. All right. You do not get to opt out. There are too many people who can't opt out even if they wanted to. I get it. I get the hopelessness, the devastation, the grief even. I feel all of that too. But when I zoom out, I am not in immediate danger as I'm [00:22:00] recording this.

Not yet. And that's important. Maybe you're in the same position. So Let me tell it like it is because that's the theme here. I'm white. First of all, I'm not subject to racist scapegoating. Does it hurt me to see others subjected to it? God, yes, but I don't get to vicariously feel their pain and immediate danger to the point of being too hurt to carry on.

Do I get the sense that people of color may not trust me because of the way so many white women voted this year? Yes, sure. But my discomfort is not to be confused with danger. It's crucial that if you, like me, are a white woman, we do not equate the two things. I'm also currently not pregnant. So my physical danger is not at risk.

In that way, in the foreseeable future, I'm a citizen, so I have certain protections. And because I'm a white citizen, I literally never have to worry that someone will [00:23:00] challenge the legitimacy of my citizenship. I'm cisgendered and in a heterosexual marriage as well. Nobody is going to be legally challenging the legitimacy of my marriage.

Though Texas is trying to make sure I can't leave it, but that's another story. And no one is demonizing me and unjustly implying that I'm a predator just to score political points. So I could go on, but I think you get the point, right? Yes. I'm concerned about how things may evolve in the future. And I'm not so ignorant as to think that people will never come for me, but for the time being, it's crucial to both my wellbeing and those of the people who I feel responsible to support that I recognize the truth.

My bike chain has not snapped yet. I should not be waiting for people to come help me because yes, my legs are tired from the ride, but my bike chain has not snapped. Maybe that will change, but I do believe it's important for us not to let ourselves [00:24:00] take on the threat that others are facing so much that we center ourselves in it.

We cannot stop pedaling because we're worried about other people's bike chains. To do so is the dark side of privilege. Now, if you are one of the people whose bike chains are snapping almost immediately following the inauguration, or who might be listening to this episode farther down the line, and your bike chain has long since snapped, and there are many of you, unfortunately, I hope that you can turn your attention away from the haters and toward the people who are ready to help you in any way they can.

There are a lot of us. So now is not the time for rugged individualism. And if you hear a voice telling you to withdraw from others, to pull away as the only guarantee of safety that you must save yourself no matter the cost, I cannot stress enough how important it is to not listen to that voice. We need each other now.

We're in this mess because [00:25:00] too many people became isolated, and isolation breeds fear, cynicism, and despair. All necessary ingredients for conspiratorial thinking and adhering to authoritarianism. The antidote to that is not further isolation, no matter what your fear tells you. So please, please, please ask for the help that you deserve.

Reach out, even if it's just to one person. And for the rest of us, those of us whose bike chain has not yet snapped, I need us to be absolutely fucking for real on if we're centering ourselves in this more than we need to be in the present moment. If you're white, you don't get to be so depressed about how racism played a major role in the election results that you give up. If you're a man, you don't get to be so sad for the women in your life that you resign yourself to this being the way it is. If you're a citizen, you definitely don't get to be so worried about the safety of immigrants or the livelihood of dreamers that you fall [00:26:00] apart and do nothing.

As my fellow Type 1, Michelle Obama, said in her recent speech, Do something. You're an author. Start there. Do something, especially if you write in genres where you have readers on the other side of the political spectrum. Show them a better way through your stories.

Show them a world where people care for the stranger. Unite to fight greedy autocrats and learn to treat people from different backgrounds with respect. Create characters that show courage and the fear of insurmountable odds and who stick their necks out for each other. Show true critical thinking.

Show how community is stronger through diversity. You have so much power at your fingertips. Yeah, that can be frightening, but so is sitting by and saying nothing while simple cruelty becomes policy. Live so that you can live with yourself, is what I'm saying. Your books don't ever have to [00:27:00] be bestsellers to change someone's life.

And isn't that wonderful? But you do have to write them. If you are still grieving a future that will never come, if you're still afraid, I get it. If you absolutely need time to process this, take that. But sometimes writing is the best way to process things like this. That's how most of us became writers.

So just consider it. Also do yourself a favor, especially if you're a head centered type and stop trying to make sense of the nonsensical. Stop trying to understand the logic of the illogical. Those are dead ends and quicksand. Allow yourself to turn your attention toward showing logic in motion. And this is why we do the work, y'all.

This is why we learn to live next to our fear instead of in it. America has not done the work. It has not done its shadow work. [00:28:00] And you can see the results of that in so many citizens believing that things like genocide and concentration camps happen in other countries. Not this one. Except it's .

Happened here already. What happened to the Native Americans fits every definition of a genocide. And that way our country was built on genocide and we didn't call them concentration camps, but we call them internment camps, immigration detention centers, and for profit prisons. Oh yeah. And there was all that slavery for 400 years.

So we have changed the names of things so that those who haven't done their shadow work could look away and keep the ugliness at arm's length. But these ugly things will keep happening in America until we are able to look at the shadow together, to call it by its name and say that, yes, this is the America we know.

And then we need to do the long overdue work to right the wrongs. So if you can see the [00:29:00] horrifying effects on a large scale of not doing the shadow work, then you may better understand the importance of doing it on an individual scale. We aren't ready to say we're fighting on the side of justice, compassion, and liberation if we haven't confronted the ways we've benefited from injustice, where we lack compassion for ourselves and others, and where we still attempt to exercise control over the external world.

Confronting ugliness starts at home. So if you've been doing this work, thank you. If you haven't started it yet, now's the time. We do this so that we can figure out how we're built for the moment and healing ourselves and integrating all the good, the bad, and the ugly of being human. We get to discover how we are exactly who's needed in this moment of this timeline to care for our friends, to raise brave and compassionate children and to inspire others to do the same.

[00:30:00] I understand that some of us may feel like giving up. I've observed that feeling in myself. But at the end of the day, we must not choose that. Roll those shoulders back and take a deep breath. You aren't built to take on the whole problem, but you are absolutely built for your part in this collective effort.

So, if you're wondering, what if my country collapses? I say that the answer is pretty simple. We build it back up together, and we make better allies to each other by doing the deep and difficult work that everything in your ego is begging you to avoid.

You may wish this wasn't the moment in time you were living in. The situation in which you were raising your children. You may wish none of this had happened, but as Gandalf said, so do all who [00:31:00] live to see such times. But that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us.

And of course, Gandalf did not say that. A writer wrote that.

I don't know about you, but I'm renewing my commitment to fiction. Because it matters, because it changes societies from the inside out, because the choice is still mine, because there is power in that, that can't be taken away or banned, no matter how hard some might try, and make no mistake, people are going to try, they already are.

That just shows me how terrified the truth makes some people, and that makes me want to speak it and write it even more. The next time you feel powerless, turn your attention to all the power you have. You have the power to envision a better world. The power to show that world to others. The power to [00:32:00] brighten someone's day. The power to advocate for yourself and others. The power to change someone's heart. The power to bring joy to the world.

The power to not give up. What are you going to do with all that power? That's it for this episode of What If For Authors. I wish I didn't have to do it, but I did, and I'm so glad you're here to listen. you want help figuring out how you were built for this moment, You can book some time with me.

I'm here. Go to ffs.media/schedule. I'm Claire Taylor and I hope you'll join me next week for another, hopefully less spicy, episode. Happy writing.

Episode 27: What if I'm not getting read-through?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If for Authors, Claire Taylor takes a practical and analytical deep dive into the concept of read-through—how to measure it, understand it, and improve it. Whether you’re a seasoned author or just starting out, Claire helps you cut through the emotional and technical hurdles of identifying whether readers are progressing through your books and how to troubleshoot if they’re not.

This episode offers actionable insights while encouraging a healthy, compassionate mindset for tackling challenges in your writing career.

Key Takeaways:

1. What is Read-Through, and How Do You Measure It?

• Read-through measures how many readers move from one book in a series to the next.

• Claire explains why read-through is difficult to measure if you only have one book and provides strategies like offering a compelling freebie at the end of your book to assess engagement.

• For series, the most common measurement is the percentage of readers who purchase or borrow subsequent books.

2. Setting Expectations for Read-Through:

• Industry averages for read-through can vary significantly based on pricing strategies and whether your books are in Kindle Unlimited.

• Claire emphasizes that expectations are personal, and setting them too low or too high can create unnecessary emotional turbulence.

3. Troubleshooting Read-Through Issues:

• Start with Back Matter: The first link readers see at the end of your book should ideally point to the next book in the series.

• Analyze Openings and Endings: Your opening pages should hook readers immediately, and your ending should provide satisfaction while enticing them to continue the series.

• Identify Drop-Off Points: Beta readers or hired feedback can help pinpoint where readers lose interest, offering insight into areas that might need tightening.

4. Factors Beyond the Numbers:

• Some books are designed to be savored rather than inhaled, and that can affect the pace of read-through.

• If you notice slow read-through but receive positive feedback, it might simply reflect the unique nature of your stories.

5. Addressing a Skills Gap:

• If storytelling fundamentals are causing read-through issues, Claire encourages you to view it as an opportunity to learn and grow, rather than a reflection of your worth as a writer.

• There are countless resources, workshops, and editors available to help you hone your craft.

Why You Should Listen: This episode is for authors who want to understand their read-through rates and take actionable steps to improve them without letting the process become emotionally overwhelming. Whether you're an indie author managing your own files or a traditionally published writer curious about what you can influence, Claire offers thoughtful strategies to tackle this common concern.

Support the Show: If you found this episode helpful, please leave a review on your favorite podcast platform and share the show with your fellow authors. Every review helps more writers discover this resource.

Join the Conversation: Share your thoughts with Claire by emailing contact@ffs.media or connect on social media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm so glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors, as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain.

Today's topic is one of the more practical ones that I'll be covering. And the reason I'm covering it is because it can so easily touch on our fears and make us not even want to approach it. Bye. But if we're going to keep readers coming back for more, we need to study ourselves and look it dead in the eyes.

So this episode asks the question, what if I'm not getting read through?

We run into a few problems when we first define this problem. So we trip over measurements first. So how do we know if we're getting read through on a book? That is, how do we know that someone is starting the book, finishing it, and then moving on to the next one if we have another book to [00:01:00] offer? So right off the bat, I'll say that it's incredibly hard to measure read through if you only have one book.

one book out. So maybe don't worry about this yet and move on to writing your next book. If you're really set on measuring it though, you can add something enticing to the back of your book, a call to action that feels like a no brainer for the reader, like a free epilogue or a novella. This isn't an exact measurement of who reads your book, but it's not nothing.

So if no one clicks on the no brainer freebie, then either no one is reading it to the end, very few people are, and none are converting, or maybe you have some sort of a technical glitch with your e book, like the link isn't working, or the also bought page is popping up on the e readers before they get to your freebie offer.

Other than that, the most common measurement of read through is from looking at what percentage of people who bought book one bought book two, essentially, and what percentage of people who bought book one bought books three [00:02:00] and four and so on. So you can look at the series read through or book to book read through to assess where people are dropping off, and then you can isolate what might be the issue.

So are your analytical brains tired yet? Uh, it's going to be a lot more of this, but we will get into some of the deeper issues soon. I promise.

Measurement method is just the first step. And as you can tell, it's already not an exact science. And what if you don't write in a series? How do you calculate read through then? Honestly, at that point we're getting closer to measuring vibes than data. So anyone who tells you there's an exact science to this or there's only one way to measure it is probably overcompensating.

Once you figure out your chosen method for measurement, whatever that is, you have to figure out what that means. So that's where expectations comes into play. And where expectations come into play, our emotions and our ego also come into play. So let's tread lightly Now, I've heard [00:03:00] From various sources.

This is me Gathering this from all different sources trying to find an average But you know what those sources might be quoting the same sources and it might turn into a circular thing here I don't know, but I've heard that 50 percent read through from book 1 to book 2 in a series is pretty solid But I've also heard that with Kindle Unlimited if your books enrolled in Kindle Unlimited 70 percent read through from book 1 to book 2 is considered solid for ebooks You might have heard this, you might have heard different percentages, but guess what, there is no standard line for good here.

People like certainty, so they will make up a number to scratch that itch, but it doesn't, in itself, mean anything concrete. So here's another wrench. If your first book is free, then expecting much more than 5 percent read through to book two, assuming book two costs money, is probably setting yourself up for heartbreak.

The industry average [00:04:00] that I've seen, and I think most of this data is from Kobo books, , last I checked, but the industry average is more like one to two percent read through from a free book to a paid book, to the next book in the series that's paid. So does the industry average tell you anything about your book?

. Not really, so even that measurement is like, meh. But imagine that you're expecting something like a 10 percent read through from your first in series that's free to your second in series that's not free, but you do the math and realize it's closer to 3%. Activate downward spiral for some of us, right?

Meanwhile, someone whose expectation was set at 1 percent would see the 3 percent and be like, hell yeah, they love it. And, this is important, Who's to say who's right and who's wrong? Because there is no right and wrong here. We really don't have a clear line. There's so many variables.

So when we're looking at the emotional component, what triggers us emotionally, what triggers our fear, what really gets our ego, , [00:05:00] pacing in circles, it's about whether or not we're meeting expectations or falling short.

There's a trick that a lot of us pick up early in life that involves setting expectations in a particular way to either protect us from disappointment, say we always set them low, or motivate us through the fear of falling short. So this would be setting unrealistically high expectations.

Do you find yourself falling into one camp or the other? That's a really important thing to notice. And has doing this actually gotten you the results you hoped for when you take a step back and look at it? Is it doing the thing you thought it would do? Or has setting your expectations way way low meant you've settled for okay rather than leveling up and maybe feel low grade disappointment at how your life has turned out, or has setting your expectations way, way higher than anyone would reasonably expect left you feeling like you're [00:06:00] always falling short, rather than feeling like maybe you're pretty awesome.

I bet you didn't expect us to go this deep on read through, but you probably should have, right? You know what podcast this is. So our expectations around read through are where things start to get emotionally fraught, and our ego can get a little injured. and want to armor up.

But let's just say that we have already measured read through in a way that makes sense and has adequate data to begin drawing some sort of conclusions. And then we can set what we believe is a reasonable expectation for what we would like read through percentages to look like for us. And let's say that our read through isn't quite where we'd like it to be.

What diagnostics can we run from there? The first thing I would recommend you do is to go and look at the back matter of your book. So that's the easiest place to make changes and tighten things up, especially if you are an indie [00:07:00] and you own all those files and can just upload something new. So open your ebook and flip all the way to the last page.

Do you have a call to action that shows up for the next book before That device starts shooting up all those flares for other books to read in the store, right? Sometimes it'll just pop it up that's in the, in the coding of the ebook, right? So is your call to action actually showing up?

Now, if you want your read through to happen, the very first link anyone sees, as soon as the story ends, should be the one to your next book. It doesn't even have to be on a fresh page. It can be. End story, line, break, call to action, with maybe a link if it's an e book, or an easy, you know, bit. ly link or something if it's a print book.

So if this doesn't show up at the back of your book, your read through will suffer. Period. It will not be optimized, as they say. If you have a bunch of other links and [00:08:00] stuff between the final word of the story and your link to buy the next book, your read through will also suffer as a result. And hear me out, maybe that's okay, right?

Maybe you would rather hit them with a link to sign up to your email list first, because that's a bigger priority than getting them to the next book for you. If you want to make that decision for you, that is totally fine.

But you are choosing to go for subscriptions over read through. over read through if you put the subscription link first. And I hope that you'll remember that when you look at those read through percentages, so that you have the proper context. So let's say that the back matter looks good and you're still not happy with a read through.

The next most likely culprit is that people aren't finishing your book. They may not even be starting it. Frankly, it's really hard to tell. So this is where our artistic egos can Take a big hit.

So if you feel the gut punch that goes along [00:09:00] with considering that someone doesn't like your book, then take a step back from it with me and let's activate our scientist's brain.

Let's depersonalize this. It doesn't mean they don't like you, and it doesn't mean that they don't like your writing. It certainly doesn't mean that you have to stop everything and rewrite the whole book or give up writing altogether.

If those big emotions and generalizations start to pop up for you, What you can do is you can just observe them, because they're kind of interesting, aren't they? It's interesting how quickly our fear can take a piece of data, add a few drops of that fear to it, and really brew up a frothing catastrophe for us.

The human mind is just kind of fascinating in this way, and we, we have the privilege of being able to observe our own. So the most effective use of your time at this stage is to focus on your opening pages and your closing pages. So you can work with an editor or an author whose work you [00:10:00] love, and, and this is important, and who treats you kindly, and you can get feedback from them.

There are so many resources and workshops available online for writing a gripping first ten pages. And a lot of them are free too. Usually you get what you pay for, but if you're just starting out with this work, Might as well start with free. So focus your energy on those opening lines of your book.

Find something hooky that broadcasts to the reader what delights they can expect in the following pages. Show them the protagonist's main dilemma. Cut the info dumps and show something happening. Razzle dazzle them with your tone. I think a lot about the opening pages of Interview with the Vampire and how the tone just, it just grabbed me by the shirt collar and dragged me into the coffin with it. Willingly, I should add, I was all in just from those opening pages. I didn't care where the story [00:11:00] went. It was that tone.

So work over those opening pages. Keep chipping away until you get an opening sentence that makes you go, Oh, hell yeah.

The next thing I would do is look at your ending. Is it satisfying? This is where a developmental editor will come in absolutely clutch. Do the main characters. Particularly, your protagonist, get a satisfying ending for who they are. So what emotion is the reader left with? Are there any unanswered questions that the reader still has?

Any open loops? Maybe something that you've promised to answer in the following books that would make them immediately go buy the next book? Now I'm not talking about cliffhangers here. I know that cliffhangers is a very divisive um, I'm just talking about open series loops. So, like, if it's a romance, the romantic interests probably need to get together, right?

There's a little variation here, , for this with reverse harem, but let's not get into the weeds. [00:12:00] But if it's a murder mystery, is the mystery solved? So those are some of the basic requirements so that you know your genre's requirements to satisfy the reader. And then see if you can also hint towards some other open loops, especially if you're writing in a series.

Maybe there are two secondary characters in your romance who obviously have chemistry and whom readers will want to see in the next book. Or maybe in solving the murder, an even bigger mystery unlocks. Maybe there's like a mastermind in the shadows that you can hint at. Revisiting your book's ending to make sure it's satisfying while also inviting your reader to read more from you in that series is going to be a lot of bang for your buck. And again, a skilled editor or beta readers will be really useful here. If you still have any fucks to give about upping read through at this point, you can have some readers go through your book and simply note everywhere the book [00:13:00] lost their attention and they set it down.

Notice if there are any trends among the readers and where they set the book down or lost interest. Maybe those are scenes you can tighten up, amp up, or cut out altogether. If you notice that people are walking away between chapters as you go through this process, then that's fine. Your chapter hooks might need some attention, right?

You can tighten those up. But at least this way you'll have some data from readers. Again, you might not need to go this deep, and you might not even give enough of a shit about moving the needle to spend time revisiting all this. So that is okay. But these would be the diagnostic steps I would recommend as a reader myself.

As a former developmental editor and as a story coach. Now here's another theory about why read through might be lower than you expect. Just to, you know, mix things up a bit here. You might not be writing books that are easy to inhale, and that's totally legit. [00:14:00] So not all books are designed to be easy to inhale.

Some savored. So while I was writing the Jessica Christ series, which is Packed with jokes and unexpected surprises, I liked to layer it, or I liked to layer it while I was writing it. Um, I, I frequently heard from readers that they loved the series so much that they paced out their reading of it, so that they didn't run out of books to read.

What a compliment, right? I mean, as a writer, that was just such a great thing to hear. Um, at least I took it that way because I know that feeling from a reader's perspective, when I love a series so much that I want to devour it. But then I'm also afraid of what life will be like when I run out of book, right?

And I have to wait for the next one.

But you can imagine that a reading behavior like that might affect those raw read through numbers. So if I'm measuring a 30 day window and people are pacing out each book over a month, it won't look like they're reading to the [00:15:00] next book. So numbers don't tell the full story here. Some savored. Maybe yours falls into this category.

Maybe people take breaks between reading your book so that they don't run out of everything before you publish a new book. If you write dense, layered, or really unique stories that people can't find in a lot of places, this could be affecting your read through. Does that matter to you? Is that actually a problem?

Would you even want to fix it, knowing what the cause of that low readthrough is?

And finally, and this may be difficult to hear, but some folks need to hear it. If you haven't learned about storytelling and the art of writing, if you haven't put in the time to learn what makes a strong story, how to use a variety of sentence structures, , to your advantage to keep readers engaged and how to build tension and emotional depth throughout a book, then you might be running up against that and it might be showing in your read [00:16:00] through.

That doesn't mean you can't learn those things though. It doesn't mean you're a quote unquote bad writer, full stop. That would be the fixed mindset stuff that we don't do in these parts. But why would you be a compelling writer who grips people from the first page if you didn't ever learn from the best how to do that?

You know, why should you just have that skill? So I went to college for four years to study writing and literature, so of course I did learn some things there. , and it's okay if you didn't do that, right? It's okay if you didn't go to college to study this stuff. , maybe that was even a really smart decision.

But it could also mean that there are some basics that you don't even know that you don't know. Like, for instance, just, Pulling something out of the air. , if you're not familiar with what head hopping is, you might want to check that out. There's a bunch of little things like this that we may not know we don't know.

So if you haven't done learning on that, it [00:17:00] might be time.

Sometimes it's as simple as just hitting pause and learning your craft better for the next book, or going back and cleaning up earlier books with your new skills. We can become so scared to look at this possibility of a skills deficit if we carry around the belief that writing is all talent and not learned skills, but thankfully, that's not the case.

It just isn't. So you can learn to be a more engaging writer. You can learn new tricks to keep writers delighted. We all can. There are a lot of tricks that I still have yet to learn. So if you're up against a true skills deficit that's causing the lack of read through, then you're in. Time to do something about it if you want things to change.

In the end, maybe you don't need to sweat read through rates too much, right? I tend not to think about them unless I notice some sort of anomalous drop off between books, and then I'll go and do some sleuthing, some troubleshooting. And I only [00:18:00] check read through on a series. About once or twice a year at that, usually, whichever series is in progress, since I pretty much know what the deal is with my finished series by the time I finish them.

So if your read through isn't what you want it to be, If you're wondering, what if I'm not getting read through, remember that there's still a lot within your control here. So take a deep breath to depersonalize the problem, put on your observational scientist hat, and evaluate if your measurements are useful or robust enough to even work from.

Then check if your expectations are wonky in hopes of saving yourself from disappointment or motivating yourself through fear to work harder, and follow a process for troubleshooting that double checks your back matter, then takes a critical look at your opening, your ending, and where readers might be falling off.

So you can stop anywhere in the troubleshooting process too, remember that. So maybe just [00:19:00] adjust your back matter and then gather data to see if that was the variable affecting the read through rate. If so, if you give it 90 days and you check again and the read through rate's way up, great!

There's always something that can be done. And you never have to do it if you don't want to. So those are two important things to remember. Especially if you publish your books independently, and this is why I encourage people to, you have so much within your control. And you can always make the choice to use that control or not.

But you do have a choice. And when it comes to human suffering, almost every last ounce of it. That we experience can be alleviated simply by understanding that we do have options and we are making a choice, albeit frequently an unconscious one, to think, feel, and [00:20:00] behave the way we do in a given situation.

So that's it for this episode of What If for Authors. I'm Claire Taylor. Thanks for joining me and I hope you'll come back for the next episode. Happy writing.

Episode 26: What if I'm not a great writer?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If For Authors, Claire dives into the deeply personal question: What if I’m not a great writer? With candor and compassion, Claire explores what the idea of “greatness” even means in the world of writing, reminding us how subjective and vague that term can be. She examines how societal expectations and personal insecurities can distort our self-perception as writers and offers practical, grounded strategies for dealing with the anxiety this question can bring up.

Key Takeaways:

• Defining “Greatness” in Writing: Claire unpacks the concept of “great” in writing, showing how it’s almost impossible to define universally. Is greatness based on sales, ratings, critical acclaim, longevity? Claire reminds us that each reader has their own standard, making greatness in writing a subjective term that may not be worth obsessing over.

• Perfection Isn’t a Requirement for Success: We’ve all read bestsellers that didn’t resonate or books with high ratings that seemed flawed. Claire highlights how this disconnect reminds us that being a successful writer doesn’t mean appealing to everyone’s standard of “great.” Your writing doesn’t have to meet every possible benchmark to matter.

• Learning Through the Pain of Growth: Improving as a writer is beneficial not only for our craft but also for our well-being. Learning can be intimidating because it often means confronting past mistakes or gaps in knowledge. Claire suggests viewing that discomfort as a sign of growth, reframing cringe-worthy moments as proof of progress.

• Using Anxiety as a Call to Action: Anxiety around not being a “great” writer can be reframed as a call to action. Instead of letting anxiety paralyze us, Claire recommends channeling it into meaningful activities like learning a new writing skill, taking a craft course, or practicing a specific storytelling technique.

• Completing the Stress Cycle: To manage lingering anxiety, Claire encourages listeners to complete their stress cycle with physical activity or relaxation techniques. Recognizing and acting on anxiety in a healthy way helps us stay present and productive, avoiding the endless loops of worry that don’t serve us.

A Practical Approach When Doubting Your Writing:

1. Recognize that “great” is a subjective, often meaningless label.

2. Embrace anxiety as a signal that there may be an opportunity for growth.

3. Channel that energy into learning something new about your craft, but don’t let fear drive you into information overload.

4. Complete the stress cycle with movement or a calming activity to bring yourself back to a grounded state.

Why You Should Listen: This episode is for any writer who has ever doubted their skill or wondered if they’re truly capable of being “great.” Claire offers both mindset shifts and practical strategies to help you reframe these questions in a way that encourages growth without letting fear take the lead. If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by self-doubt or the pressure to excel, this episode will leave you feeling reassured, empowered, and ready to keep moving forward.

Join the Conversation: Have you questioned your abilities as a writer? What does “greatness” mean to you? Share your thoughts with Claire by emailing contact@ffs.media or join the conversation on social media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm so glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor, and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain.

I want to start today by recognizing everybody who has been listening to this podcast abroad, as in abroad from the US, right? I'm very US centric in my thinking. , it's just been really fascinating to see the list of countries where people are listening from and see it grow over the last few months.

So shout out to listeners from the Netherlands, Austria, Israel, Costa Rica, Sweden, Germany, India, India, Hong Kong, South Africa, Nicaragua, Turkey, Italy, so many more. The list goes on.

Of course, all of the predominantly English speaking countries are up there at the top of the listening leaderboard, like Canada, the [00:01:00] UK, Australia, Ireland, New Zealand. Anyway, Just wanted to say hello to everyone. I appreciate you taking time out of your day to listen to the show.

Today's episode is a big one. For many of us, this question cuts straight to our identity as writers. It's entirely possible that you've pondered today's question only briefly before seeking a distraction due to its unpleasantness, but today we're not going to let our attention bounce off this question.

We're going to dive in together and ask What if I'm not a great writer?

I'll be honest, this is a big one for me. I bump up against this question often, and I never like it, but I wouldn't be much help to you if I didn't do my best to sit with the discomfort before asking you to do the same. I don't know if I've ever sat with it for, like, a full 30 minutes, like I will today, so this might be a new experience for me [00:02:00] as I walk us through this interview.

This question in detail, but as always, the things that trigger us and make it hard to stay focused tend to be where we can mine the most useful information and find the most growth if we can just sit in the discomfort long enough.

So what if I'm not a great writer? Now, the first obvious question to this is who gets to decide that? Who passes judgment on what makes a great writer anyway? What's the measure here? As soon as we start to really pick that apart, we see the word great disintegrate before our eyes. What does it even mean?

Kind of a meaningless word, isn't it? Different people measure greatness differently. So one person might base it on book sales and say, yeah, that's a great book. Look at the sales. Another person might. Based on average ratings and someone else might say it's only great if you know, quote unquote real critics say it's great.

Some people would even [00:03:00] argue that we can't measure greatness until a book has endured for a generation or two. So what makes a great book? If we can't agree on a basic definition or measurement, then Maybe we're asking the wrong question to start with. There's also a static nature to being a great writer that doesn't really pass the smell test.

Can a great writer produce a not so great book? Can they only produce one great book and still be a great writer? How much of a writer's catalog needs to be considered great for them to be a great writer?

I would reckon we can all think of an author that we consider a great writer, um, even if some of their books just didn't hit for us.

And that variation in our perceived quality of their catalog, it can give us permission to have some variability in our own catalog.

After all, the books that didn't resonate with you might be the perfect fit for someone else. So it's [00:04:00] just all subjective is what I'm getting at here.

You might notice that just in this deconstruction that we've done already, you're feeling a little less panicky about the question, what if I'm not a great writer? The third thing I'll say is that it's okay Not to be whatever arbitrary standard of greatness you've set. Honestly, it's fine.

Don't let the fact that you were in the Gifted and Talented program growing up convince you that you're only worthy if you're great at something.

While that belief may seem like the American way, there are plenty of cultures and practices that value spending time on things you're not great at. and may never excel in. Now, some of you might reject that idea right away because it goes against your ego's need to stand out.

If that's you, I challenge you to just entertain the idea for a few more minutes. Entertain the idea that there [00:05:00] is value in spending your time on things like this. That you may never be the best at. You may never feel fully competent or capable at. You may never be called great at. How would your life be different if you felt no pressure to be great, let alone to be the best at what you do?

What energy might that free up? What emotions? might you be able to unlock? How would it change how you spend your time and attention?

One common refrain I hear from authors, usually whisper during one on one coaching calls, is that a lot of these books that are selling aren't that good. So the people I'm talking to often sound very scandalized about this, as if greatness in their eyes should be a prerequisite for sales. But clearly it's not, right?

We've all read a book that was raved about by everyone we know, only to open it up. it, [00:06:00] try to read it, and find it absolutely lacking. Maybe the author's particular writing quirks graded on you, like maybe they use the same phrase repeatedly, or they write flat characters with inconsistent motivations. We all know that feeling of how is this a bestseller?

But if we sit with that question, we realize we've set an expectation for there to be some correlation between sales and greatness that just doesn't exist. There's something in the book that a lot of people found great, sure, but it doesn't have to be your idea of greatness. So this brings us to a logical conclusion, and that's you don't need to be a great writer by every measure to be a valid writer.

and successful writer.

If you're really worried that your writing just isn't up to snuff, what you can do is start to learn more of the craft. Learn it better. That's a very productive use [00:07:00] of our time. So the part of us that always wants to improve and learn new things is a healthy and inspiring part of ourselves. I would never discourage anyone from working to improve their craft.

It's really satisfying and can eventually make your books easier to sell in some ways. It's also just healthy to keep learning, especially as we age. So yeah, definitely go learn from authors you admire, learn their tricks, challenge yourself to do an extra revision pass focused on that new skill. Maybe you want to learn to write stronger chapter hooks.

Okay. Add a revision pass to strengthen all of your chapter hooks, keep learning and improving your craft. The only caveat I'll give here. is. If you're signing up for classes out of a fear that you don't know enough, but you're not actually applying the lessons. So different motivations drive us to improve.

If fear that you're not a good writer is [00:08:00] behind that, You likely have some mental and emotional patterns that make learning unpleasant, bringing up feelings of inadequacy and embarrassment about things you quote unquote should already know.

That brings me to this really important point that I don't think is discussed enough. There is an inherent pain in learning that keeps us from pursuing it with genuine curiosity and openness. And that inherent pain is the possibility of realizing that we have been wrong or foolish in the past.

If we don't cultivate self compassion and humor, learning can be a terrifying prospect. Because what if you realize that you've been doing something embarrassing and idiotic this whole time? Right? Maybe it's something small, like not knowing the difference between two homophones, and maybe you've sent repeated emails using the [00:09:00] wrong one.

Been there. Doesn't feel great. And that's just a homophone error.

Learning means confronting what past versions of ourselves didn't know. That's why it's so painful and takes bravery. It's hard to look back and realize we might have seemed foolish or wrong. And sometimes when we learn something new, like a method for improving our writing, we'll kind of glance back at old work, and just cringe.

But that cringing, and this is important, that cringing is a sign of growth. Every time you cringe, try pausing and saying, Oh, look, I've learned something. That shift in attention, it may seem silly, but it moves us towards growth, which boosts self confidence and reinforces the bravery that it takes to keep learning.

It pulls us away from shame, which we do want to talk about. you know, will just make us shrink and reinforces the idea that learning is somehow dangerous. So we don't want to do that. We want to move away from shame. You [00:10:00] may even be able to cultivate some gratitude for learning the new thing, knowing, huh, well, I, at least I won't make that same mistake again.

So there are really two points I'm trying to make here that I think will help ease some of your anxiety on this topic.

First of all, the word great in the question What if I'm not a great writer is meaningless. It has so many possible definitions that it's not a useful word for us to even give our time and attention to. The second point is that it doesn't matter how you measure up to some random metric of greatness.

Your life will be vastly improved through the process of improving your craft over time, period. Whether you're starting from very little skill, or you've developed a lot of skills already,

continuing the process of improving your writing, your, the technical part of your writing, your storytelling skills, it's not even about, can it sell more books for [00:11:00] you. There's a huge benefit in remembering that we can learn and improve and that it's safe to do so. The process of learning and acknowledging that we can learn, it isn't isolated to a single arena.

If we practice learning our craft, we'll also gain confidence that we can learn other things too, like how to show up for our friends in the way they need, how to be more financially literate, and maybe even how to learn a new physical activity. It's very easy as we move through the years to become stagnant.

And that stagnation leads to an erosion of our self confidence and self esteem, and it makes our world much smaller. If you're listening to my podcast, you probably don't want to be one of those people who becomes more closed minded and stuck in their ways as they age.

So I probably don't need to make a case for why it's important to not fall into that trap, but I do want to be clear that remembering we can learn new skills and improve on our current ones. is a [00:12:00] necessary process to avoid the fate of becoming closed minded, stagnant, and, frankly, friendless. If we allow our fear of being wrong, of not yet knowing, to take root, it will. It likes to protect itself by doubling down. I think we all know someone whose fear of being wrong makes their go to approach to new information doubling down on their existing beliefs, right? You can see how allowing that subtle fear of learning new things to, you know, have oxygen and continue to grow and take root, how that can lead us down a negative path over time. Now

I want to stitch these two points together into something useful, a process you can follow when you find yourself wondering, what if I'm not a great writer? That question is going to bring with it a wave of anxiety, and anxiety itself is not a bad thing. We need anxiety. If we don't have any anxiety, we end up like that guy on [00:13:00] Office Space, and, you know, it worked out okay in the end, but that's not the ideal state of living.

Anxiety is an important part of the human experience. I think of anxiety as a call to action. When we're scared, our body pumps us full of adrenaline. That's literally our brain's way of saying, here you go, either run or fight, but do something.

Anxiety is a call to take action. Now, the amount of anxiety we get from an existential question, like what if I'm not a good writer, is admittedly disproportionate to what we actually need in a situation where nothing is actively chasing us. This is, you know, just one of those quirks of society evolving faster than our biology.

A lot of things that don't directly threaten our survival feel like a matter of survival, and our body responds accordingly by dumping a bucket of cold adrenaline on us. What we can do is take this adrenaline as a call to action and use it in a productive way, like [00:14:00] recognizing it could be encouraging us to learn something new about our craft.

Of course it's important to be mindful about this and not let fear send us down a rabbit hole of like researching whether adverbs really are as lazy as Stephen King would have us believe. We don't want to let this adrenaline send us into an information gathering spiral as if the devil's got its whips at our back.

Partly I don't want that for you because it's a miserable way to live, but also because our brains aren't good at absorbing information when we're in a hyper aroused state.

So all of that information gathering is not actually as productive as it might feel. Telling our anxiety, thank you for the energy, I'll put time on my calendar to learn something new about my craft this week. Can be. Enough to take the edge off and let us move on with our day.

For any anxiety you have left over after you've taken meaningful action or put it on your calendar to take meaningful [00:15:00] action, you can either talk yourself through it or do breathing exercises to calm down or you can put on those running shoes and just walk it off or run it off. I'm not going to tell anyone to take up running.

I hate running personally. So yeah, I wouldn't, I wouldn't wish that on anyone, but if you like it, go do it. So anyway, completing the stress cycle that our daily anxieties begin is crucial to our emotional, mental, and physical health anyway. So it's not a bad practice when you're anxious to see what action needs to be taken, take that action and whatever's left over, go complete that stress cycle.

All right, to wrap this up, if you find yourself asking, what if I'm not a great writer, remember that the idea of great is essentially bullshit. It's useless. It's overly vague and subjective. And you know, it's not really good for doing anything more than terrorizing school aged kids in the gifted and talented [00:16:00] program.

So then remind yourself that anxiety is a call to action, and meaningful action in this case might be learning something new about writing and storytelling. Just be sure not to let your fear of not having already known something keep you from being curious and open to learning.

That's it for this episode of What If for Authors. I'm so glad you joined me. What we get to do as writers is fun, and it's interesting, and there's more to it than we could ever learn in a lifetime. Now rather than that being a reason to not bother learning, I find that to be one of the best reasons to keep learning when you have the time and space for it.

And to keep experimenting with how you can apply that learning to your writing. to your next book. I'm Claire Taylor, thanks for joining me from all over the world, and I hope you'll come back for the next episode of What If for Authors. Happy writing!

Episode 25: What if I'm in burnout?

Episode Description:

In this insightful episode of What If For Authors, Claire tackles one of the most pervasive issues facing authors (and anyone) today—burnout. With her characteristic blend of empathy, humor, and hard truths, Claire dives into the complex topic of burnout, explaining how it’s often a signal to release old ego-driven patterns and a chance to truly liberate ourselves from self-imposed limitations. Drawing from Enneagram insights and her own experiences, Claire offers practical guidance on identifying, understanding, and addressing the root causes of burnout.

Key Takeaways:

• Burnout and Ego Death: Claire discusses the idea that burnout often feels like a kind of “ego death,” a signal that some of our deeply ingrained patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing are no longer serving us. Instead of pushing through burnout, she invites listeners to consider the possibility of letting those outdated parts of themselves go.

• Understanding Ego Armor: Claire introduces the concept of “ego armor,” the protective patterns we build over time to shield ourselves from pain. Using the metaphor of a knight’s armor, she explains how we develop this armor for survival, but as life changes, that same armor can begin to weigh us down and limit our movement and growth.

• The Importance of Support: Recovering from burnout often requires support. Claire emphasizes that this is not a journey you should expect to navigate alone, whether that means talking with friends, consulting a coach, or seeking help from a therapist.

• Healing Beyond Superficial Fixes: True burnout recovery isn’t just about saying “no” to one extra project; it requires addressing the deeper patterns and fears that created burnout in the first place. Claire encourages listeners to be honest with themselves about these patterns and to pursue meaningful, sustainable change.

Why You Should Listen: This episode is a must-listen for anyone feeling the weight of burnout or nearing it. With a compassionate but no-nonsense approach, Claire offers insights that go beyond quick fixes and aim to address the core reasons behind burnout. If you’ve ever struggled with balancing your passion for writing with the realities of self-care, this episode will provide a roadmap for creating a healthier, more fulfilling relationship with your work.

Join the Conversation: Have you experienced burnout in your author career? What patterns and fears might be contributing to it? Share your story with Claire by emailing contact@ffs.media or connecting on social media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm so glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book, Sustain Your Author Career by going to ffs.media/sustain. Okay.

I wish I could offer you a solid explanation for why it took me 25 episodes before I was like, Hmm, I should probably. Do an episode on burnout. Uh, you know, burnout is a hot topic. It's one of those things ravaging our industry. Although to be fair, I do feel like for the most part we're moving toward the other side of it.

Now we're not completely on the other side of it. So don't worry if you're in burnout right now, you're not being left behind. But what I mean is the worst part of burnout is not realizing you're in burnout, not recognizing what it is. It's when you're feeling like, There must be something wrong with me because I [00:01:00] can't do the things I used to do, but I have no idea what's going on.

That not knowing is often the most unpleasant part of burnout. But thanks to the work of people like Becca Seim, shout out, my girl Becca, burnout is getting much more awareness in our industry. It's being talked about Uh, it's being de stigmatized and people are learning about it. So you may not feel just completely comforted by the knowledge that, oh yeah, this is just burnout.

You might not be like, yay, burnout. Now that I know what it is, I feel completely better. But, you know, we'll just be for real here. Sometimes burnout feels like dying. And actually between you and me, just friend to friend. It's just us. No one else is listening. Uh, it's just me and the six drunk people at an AuthorCon.

Between us, I actually think that burnout is a call for ego death. It feels like dying because it's a call for a [00:02:00] part of your ego to die and to not come back. Now, you don't have to run out and do copious amounts of LSD or MDMA or anything like that to speed along the process of ego death, but I, I think it's important to know that you're not alone.

that a lot of the time when we get into burnout, it's because a part of our personality is no longer working for us. That part of our personality needs to die and be reborn into something more useful and more relevant for the time we're living in and the age we're living in. Okay. I am getting, wow, I'm getting way ahead of myself here.

Okay. Let's talk about what this episode is about. How about that? Mm hmm. Okay. So today's episode, we'll ask and answer the question, what if I'm in burnout? Now back to ego death. I do want to clarify what I mean when I talk about ego because there are a lot of colloquial uses, uses of it. And you know, you see it used in various ways.

So what I'm talking about and what we talk about in the [00:03:00] Enneagram circles , is a more specific use of the word ego. In Enneagram, we talk about there being for each person, the essence or the true self, and then the ego. And that's a different thing from the essence or true self. The ego is the culmination of our patterns of thinking, feeling, and doing that are used to protect our true self from pain.

I find it really useful to visualize the ego as a suit of armor. So it makes a lot of sense to put on armor in a world that keeps trying to jab you with pointy sticks, right? There really doesn't need to be any shame around how thick or total our armor has become.

As we're starting to do this work, right? As we're starting to look at our armor, we really don't need to feel like, Oh man, I have thicker armor than the person next to me. If we're comparing, we're already off track, but still the goal is to dismantle our armor piece by piece so that we have a little bit more movement in our [00:04:00] life.

That's what success looks like in this work. It's called. Liberation. So taking that armor off piece by piece is what brings us toward this idea of liberation, the ability for a true self to move around more freely.

You may have heard me use this example before, but I like to think of us as these jousting knights. So if you've ever been to a Ren Faire or watched any sort of medieval type movie, I guess, you know that when knights are jousting, , a suit of armor that has a lot of weak spots Exposing your vital organs is not the kind of armor you want to be wearing.

Now, a knight tends to have a whole ground crew of people in charge of putting the armor on them, either once they're on the horse or before, and then helping them up onto the horse because that armor is fucking heavy. And once that armor is on, There's very little, , movement allowed by it. And this is [00:05:00] important because if there is movement, then there are joints and there are parts of the armor that are not there, that are not metal, that are soft and vulnerable.

So the design of the armor for a knight who's about to joust is intentionally limiting. It has to be this way. There's a trade off between movement and protection. And this is a really important consideration for someone who's about to ride their horse as fast as they can towards someone else who's riding their horse as fast as they can and carrying a pointy stick.

But once the joust is over, the knight can't do much else until they get that armor off of them. They can't even turn their head in it. So that armor is appropriate for a situation where they don't need to turn their head, but it's not exactly protecting them in something else. Some other situation where the ability to turn one's head is useful for survival or just useful for having a good time.

So this is a little bit like [00:06:00] what happens with our ego armor. Somewhat ham fistedly, we put it on to protect ourselves from a particular situation. It's usually designed for us after the fact, as in, we went into our first joust without any armor on.

And got slightly maimed as a result. So this would be like those deep wounds we feel as children, right? We didn't have the armor then, and we also didn't know how the fuck to joust. So we got really hurt. Then we designed some armor to protect against that particular kind of hurt. Over time, we've designed an entire suit to avoid that particular kind of wound.

So maybe that wound is feeling rejected, feeling betrayed, or feeling worthless. Could be all kinds of things, but we've designed a suit of armor for ourselves that we hope has no weak spots to that kind of pointy stick. And then what we do is we forget that there's a whole hell of a lot more to life [00:07:00] than jousting.

And then we wonder why we're struggling with anything that doesn't feel like a fight, and why we're trying to turn everything into a joust when it doesn't need to be. Like, why can't, why can't we just enjoy the victory parade? Oh, because we're still in our jousting armor and it's a hundred degrees outside and we can't turn our head to see the people waving at us.

So you get the picture here, right? I won't belabor the metaphor too much. We all build these suits of armor and the things that happen to us when we're young will determine how thick and impenetrable we've decided our armor needs to be. So some people's armor won't be as thick going into adulthood as other people's.

It won't be as complex or as limiting to its range of motion. Is that fair? Nope. But it's also out of our control. It's in the past, it happened, it doesn't have to be fair, it just is what is. So what is in our control is gaining awareness of the armor we're wearing and how much it's limiting our movement and everything outside of the [00:08:00] jousting arena.

These pieces of armor may have even been designed so long ago that it's not even helping us in the jousting arena like we thought it was. So what does this have to do with author burnout? Great question. It has everything to do with it because we burn ourselves out by carrying that armor around all the time and thinking that the only tool we need is our lance.

We stop being adaptable to the situation. We're unable to see the reality as it is and we always think we're in that jousting arena. And then we try to treat everything like it's a jousting arena and then we wonder why the fuck we're so tired all the time. Now this is not to blame anyone for their burnout because I don't think it's you.

Useful to blame anyone for something like this. Sometimes we get into burnout because life deals us a straight flush of shit. We don't have time to adjust to the onslaught of shittiness. We don't have time to [00:09:00] decide what armor needs to come off. And so life just kind of knocks us onto our side where we're stuck on the ground until, you know, our ground crew comes along and lifts us up, or we figure out how to take the damn armor off ourselves.

It's really important, really important when talking about burnout to find a balance between taking accountability for what we can control in this and not beating ourselves up for not knowing better previously. So yes, in this episode, I'm going to explain how you got yourself into this mess, but there's no point in being mad at yourself because there was no way you could have known.

Nobody teaches us things like this when we're younger, and even if they did tell us about it, even if they did share important wisdom, there's a certain amount of having to learn things the hard way that goes along with this sort of work. So even though I may tell you how to avoid getting into burnout, and it may be exactly what you needed to [00:10:00] hear, you may not listen if you haven't experienced enough pain from the patterns that I'm warning you about.

And that's okay. I do the same thing. A lot of the times authors will come to me and ask, Hey, what do I need to know so that I don't make any missteps so that I can avoid ever experiencing the pain? And I could, I could tell them, sure. I'm like, Oh, you're a seven. Here's some things that you may run into, but they're gonna run straight into those things anyway.

So a lot of the time, I won't tell you the thing before you're struggling with that particular issue. Outside of this podcast, obviously, but that's because the pain isn't enough for you to listen to me yet. We have to go through the pain before we're willing to change.

So if you're in burnout, Or you're heading into burnout. That's a signal that you're almost ready to try something new. You're almost to the point where the weight and the [00:11:00] burden of your existing armor is less tolerable than the pain you're worried you'll experience if you take it off. The armor we're wearing lies to us.

It tells us that this is the only way for us to survive by wearing it. And maybe it had a point about that when we were younger and first formed that armor. Maybe that armor was exactly what we needed as children to survive on whatever breadcrumbs of our basic needs we were getting to survive off scraps in a scary world that didn't make sense and that maybe we weren't properly prepared for by the grown ups in our life. But that armor is not designed for you to thrive.

If you've read as much Arthurian erotica as I have, you know that those suits of armor weren't designed to have sex in. I mean, you could probably leave the helmet on if you're into that, but otherwise you gotta take off the rest of the stuff to enjoy the richness of the armor. of life.

Another reason I like to think of our ego as a knight's jousting armor [00:12:00] is because when you look at the idea of the nine different lenses of the Enneagram, you have to ask the question, how broad is the field of vision of this lens? We run into the problems of our type the most when we start to really narrow our field of vision.

We can only see a single path forward. So this may look like a mentality of success is the only option, right? Narrowing that lens. Or not acknowledging that there are other ways to publish a book that are just as equally good and respectable as doing eight rounds of revisions and hiring multiple proofreaders to make sure that not a single typo slips through.

So those ways that we narrow our lens and our field of vision could also look like immediately believing a project has no potential or is not worth our time. And then skipping to another project and a brand new shiny project over and over again, without ever finishing a single project. So it's these patterns of our type that are somewhat predictable.

That narrowed [00:13:00] lens, that narrowed field of vision is made up of patterns of our type that are somewhat predictable. But we start to really begin that they're the only way one can properly proceed through life. Looks like believing that you can only make money in this business and really, really wanting to make money if you publish a book every two months.

So a belief like that will narrow your field of vision very quickly. And this draws my mind back to that suit of armor. And I know you're still thinking about the Arthurian legend, Erotica. Huh. That's alright. Enjoy. Uh, but this draws my mind back to that suit of armor, because it's not designed to let us turn our heads.

You only have a very narrow slit in the visor. Because the larger that slit, the more you risk a lance tip taking out your eye. So more vision is dangerous in the jousting arena. Even a small slit for your vision [00:14:00] could mean a splinter makes its way through and takes your eye out. Okay, so if you let that fear take over, you're going to keep narrowing that little bit of Slit that you can see out of, you're gonna make it narrower and narrower if you're afraid of losing an eye.

And eventually you won't be able to see shit. This is what happens. If we believe what we learned when we were younger, is the only way to survive life.

What happens if every time a little splinter makes its way through, rather than getting used to the pain of the splinter, we decide to armor up even more?

The first thing that we really need to remember is that we are not jousting knights. Write that down on a piece of paper and postmark it to your nervous system. We are not jousting knights. You are not in a fight for your life. As I like to say, there's no such thing as a life or death publishing [00:15:00] emergency.

What we think are lances, with tips that could drive straight into our hearts, tend to be things like rejections from agents, one star reviews, an author we admire not wanting to be our friend. Yeah, those things won't kill you, but they do hurt like a bitch. So it's important to recognize pain is not harm in this case.

And we may need to tell our bodies that. So yes, these things do hurt. But if we convince ourselves that we won't survive them, which is what we do every single time we reinforce that fear by avoiding it, and armoring up more against it, we'll end up never experiencing the pain that we need to be free of those fears.

Or at least free enough to live beside them rather than as their servant. If you're in burnout, it's very likely that the cause is carrying around too much armor all the time and wearing a helmet with too small a visor to see through [00:16:00] anymore. Usually what happens is that the patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving that we followed our whole life, maybe they worked okay for the most part.

Maybe that got you some sweet rewards when you published a book every two months back in 2015. Maybe in that environment, it launched your career into something you didn't know was possible.

Congratulations! You've just enforced an incredibly unsustainable pattern. Nice. But of course, the environment changes, and you are now nine years older than you were in 2015. Sorry to be the one to break the news. And you've also lived through the stress of a pandemic. Maybe you have long COVID.

Maybe you've lost some people and you're carrying around some grief, or you just don't have the capacity to continue carrying around the weight of that particular pattern of workaholism. It can be really confusing when something that worked for us before stops working. Our first impulse as human beings.

It tends to be to simply [00:17:00] do a lot more of it to see if it starts working again. So if publishing a book every two months in 2015 worked and it's not working anymore, then probably what I need to do is publish a book every month or two books a month. And then the question simply becomes, well, how the fuck do I do that?

Because that is wild. All the people I went to college with would dislocate their jaws with how quickly those jaws would fall to the floor if you told them that there were people out there publishing even just a book every two months. I've seen it. I've told them. Their, their jaws become dislocated.

It's, it's horrifying to watch. But you can see how publishing a book a month doesn't actually solve the problem that you're faced with.

Because, yeah, maybe that's getting your career going again. Maybe you went from a book every two months to a book every month. Okay, we've accelerated this pattern. But what about when things change again in [00:18:00] nine more years? You haven't addressed the problem. The problem is that you believe you could ever truly feel worthy and valuable by working so hard that you fall over.

Will it actually make you feel valuable by devaluing so many parts of yourself as a human being? Does it make you feel valuable to devalue your heart center and your emotions and shove all of those to the side? To wring every ounce of productivity from your body until you find one day that you can't get out of bed and you're in a deep depression wondering if you've just broken yourself forever?

Or is the problem that you developed armor at a young age to protect you from feeling worthless and without value, and that armor took the form of shutting out your emotions to get more done and produce more things that other people thought were valuable.

So that's probably what this particular armor looks like if you're thinking, okay, I need to write books [00:19:00] fast, things have changed, I'll just write them faster. And I'll be honest, sometimes it's only when this hypothetical person is unable to get out of bed, that they'll even consider holding up this particular piece of armor for inspection.

So if you're ever wondering why I don't actually seem too concerned when people come to me and say, Hey, I think I'm in burnout. This is kind of why, yeah, I'm concerned about you. I care about you, but I'm not actually worried when people experience existential pain. It's an essential part of life. It's an essential part of being awake to life and growing.

And it's only when we're in pain that we can no longer avoid that we're willing to have a real honest discussion. And we feel ready to try something drastically new and make no mistake. If you're in burnout, you will not be getting out of it. through superficial changes. You're [00:20:00] not in burnout because there was one project you said yes to that you shouldn't have.

You're in burnout because there are dozens of things you've said yes to that you should have said no to.

If you go and say no to a few of those things, you might start to feel your energy come back. But until you address the patterns, beliefs, and fears that are telling that you but until you address the patterns, beliefs, and fears that are telling you that you must say yes to these things again and again, you'll just end up back in burnout all over again. So I tend to be a little bit of a hard ass when we're talking about burnout, because if I try to protect your feelings and your ego here, If I try and protect you from the pain that's required, I'm not actually helping you.

Feeling the pain of these patterns that have existed over the long term for you and that have not actually helped you thrive, [00:21:00] that's essential to trying something new. I would be doing you a disservice if I provided your ego any relief from this pain.

What I will offer you is something for your true self, and that's hope.

All of this can be changed. All of this can be overcome. But anyone who promises you that this is a fixable situation without pain is absolutely full of shit. They either don't know what they're talking about, Or they don't actually care about you. They may also know that our ego will absolutely dump some money on the promise of things getting better without going through the pain that's necessary for transformation.

Ooh, our ego loves that promise and it will convince us that this is the way, but it's not.

All right. So here are Some of the pieces of armor that tend to be stuck to [00:22:00] people of particular types, and that cause us to really start to carry around more than we can. So if we start to see how much we're armoring up against these particular pain points, these fears, and if we start to see the patterns we're using.

We can then start to bring our decision making skills to the party and begin to decide, each time we feel that pain or fear, do I want to armor up more, knowing it'll save me from this pain but limit my mobility? Or do I want to take the curious approach and see if this is something I can get through without the armor?

So I can maybe build more confidence in my ability to handle it in the future.

Alright, here we go. Buckle up. Ones, your fear of criticism is burning you out. Think about all of the things you do in your author career to avoid feeling criticized by others or by yourself. Where do you overburden yourself and your writing and marketing process [00:23:00] simply to try to be completely above reproach?

So this can look like the pattern of perfectionism. for listening. That's what the armor tends to look like. It can also look like self righteousness.

Twos. Where is your fear of rejection and your anxiety about being unworthy of love causing you to do too much for too many people in the author world? Have you taken on a maternal role for your readers? Are you treating them like children who can't care for themselves? How much of your daily energy is going towards serving others, just to avoid feeling like you're unwanted?

So this often takes the form of porous boundaries and not having a clear idea of what is yours and what is others to take care of. Threes, where is your fear of failure causing you to spend extra energy? Building and maintaining a public image of [00:24:00] success. Where in your author business have you spent your energy covering up and glossing over things that feel like failures, rather than sitting with the negative emotions that come up from not achieving a goal, moving through those, and maybe cleaning up the mess?

Where has your need for success kept you from even trying things? That you're worried you could easily fail. Where have you suppressed the energy that comes from expressing your authentic self to avoid your fear that the audience won't approve? So this often takes the form of the armor of spinning everything into a win to create a false image of being comfortable with failure.

What do I mean? Well, first of all, if you do that, the audience can tell. But it looks like, you know, those kind of cringy LinkedIn posts, right? Like, here's what having my wife leave me and losing custody of my [00:25:00] kids taught me about being a better author. So that's obviously an extreme example, but even the, the more subtle examples, people can see through it.

Right? So you might as well just accept the failure and, and just spend a little less time spitting that image of success, uh, because beyond just people being able to see it, most importantly, doing that is disconnecting you from your true self and you deserve to get in touch with your true self. So you can finally recognize your inherent worth and value.

Fours, your fear of abandonment is leading you to spend a lot of energy trying to prove that you're special and irreplaceable and that people ought to keep you around. So think of all the ways you've structured your author business around trying to prove that you're different from every other author.

Have you started marketing yourself so incomprehensibly that people maybe can't even [00:26:00] connect to the message in the first place? Sure, that's almost a guarantee that you won't be abandoned by readers, but it's also not getting you the deep connections you're looking for. It takes a lot of work. And you may just not have readers in the first place.

So this fear of abandonment often takes the shape of the armor of complication. Making things more complex and complicated than necessary to prove to yourself that there's nothing like it. That is completely unique and therefore irreplaceable. So imagine, if you will, the benefits of being abandoned by the right people.

You don't want everyone to stick around. You want as many fresh eyes as possible on your work so that you can find the right audience. So that fear of abandonment is keeping you from telling people about your work.

But if you weren't so beholden to that, think of the numbers game you could play. If it didn't bother [00:27:00] you that the wrong people for your work were abandoning it,

you might feel freed up to show your work to a million people. let's say, in the hopes that 10, 000 would like it.

Fives. Your fear of ridicule and looking incompetent or foolish is probably limiting your scope of what you'll admit to yourself that you don't know. So you probably think of yourself as a learner, most fives do, but ignorance is a prerequisite for learning. So if you won't admit your ignorance on matters related to writing and publishing, you may have unwittingly closed off your path to learning with your desire to already know.

So maybe ask yourself, where, where has that fear of looking foolish cut off your curiosity? in your author career?

Where has it disallowed you from connecting to your emotions and intuition knowing that doing so may open you up to ridicule from [00:28:00] others?

Where have you narrowly defined what it means to know something, keeping you from exploring mysteries that could inspire your work and delight you with new ideas for sharing your work with others?

Most importantly, where has that fear of ridicule stopped you from asking what you would consider to be dumb questions? Dumb questions are often the ones that Give us the most insight. And where has the fear of ridicule caused you to cut yourself off from others and isolate as a way of armoring up?

And where has this fear of ridicule caused you to cut yourself off from others and isolate as a way of armoring up?

Sixes, where has your fear of betrayal caused you to waste energy staying on high alert for any signs of disloyalty? Where has your need for safety in numbers caused you to hastily make alliances that weren't right for you? Creating a sort of self fulfilling prophecy of someone betraying you. Where has that fear turned [00:29:00] into doubt in your mind?

How much time and energy do you spend doubting your next move in your author career? Because you don't really trust yourself, but you also don't trust others. Where has your fear of betrayal caused you to mislabel allies as enemies, turning your view of the industry into a hostile place where people don't have your back?

This often takes the form of armoring up with cynicism and suspicion.

Sevens, where has your fear of limitations caused you to run in too many directions at once? Where have you opened too many doors in your author career without shutting any? How has your fear of missing out caused you to never reach true satisfaction? This usually looks like distraction and novelty.

Eights. Where has your fear of being controlled tricked you into believing that the world itself is a jousting arena, and if you don't carry a big stick, you'll get knocked off your horse. [00:30:00] Where has your fear of vulnerability caused you to take on an excessive number of challenges just to prove to yourself that you're strong and nothing can take you down.

Where has that fear led you to all or nothing thinking in your author career? And where has that need to avoid being controlled begun to take control of your life? So this often takes the form of seeing moderation as weakness or being half assed and trying to force your way through any challenge, regardless of whether there's Really a possibility of overcoming it on your own.

Nines, where has your fear of conflict kept you small, quiet, and numb? Where has that fear of conflict convinced you that parts of your author career are not worth the trouble? Where has that fear convinced you that authentic and important parts of yourself are too controversial to show the world?

How has putting those parts of yourself to sleep [00:31:00] made you feel listless? throughout your life, leading you to drift through a series of tasks that you believe may prevent conflict, but that you don't feel actually add value or meaning to your life. So this usually looks like armoring up with, hmm, it's no big deal.

And then downplaying the very bold and alive parts of you that give you the vitality you need to move forward. Remember your own wants and needs and let those energize your career.

So there's a little tough love for everyone. And honestly, that's just the tip of the iceberg because burnout is usually a complex thing. I've worked with a lot of authors dealing with burnout, and it's never a surface level change that needs to be made. Okay, so you might be wondering, alright, what, what's the solution?

I pointed out why you're in burnout, what's gonna lead you there, but wouldn't it just be helpful if I told you how to get out? Well, sure, I'll tell you, but you won't like [00:32:00] it. It's simple, but not easy. The first step is to notice all the places where these draining patterns are taking place. Start to notice your armor.

So some people will spend a week on this and think they have it, and I can guarantee you that is not correct. You don't have You've only begun to see where these patterns are showing up because they're so essential to your foundational operating system. You're going to be noticing these patterns like perfectionism or lack of boundaries or downplaying your own wants and needs.

You're going to be noticing them possibly for the rest of your life, but definitely for at least the next few years. So that's step one. Notice where these things are happening. Step two is to give these patterns a real hard time. When you notice them kicking up as soon as you notice them, you need to interrupt them.

Every time you repeat these patterns, you reinforce the fear behind them, making it seem [00:33:00] true and worthy of avoiding. So set some rules for yourself on this. If you're a four, for example, it may look like this. When I notice that I'm making things complicated to avoid being ordinary and therefore being abandoned, I'm going to stop what I'm doing and work toward making the process as simple as possible.

Shift your attention toward simplicity. If you don't go searching for examples of where simplicity is the most profound, though, can you really? Convince yourself that it's the best move. So step one is notice the pattern. Step two, interrupt the patterns and say, no, we're not doing that. And step three, become obsessed with finding evidence in the world that disproves the logic of those ingrained patterns until you start to value not doing them.

And then step four, do literally anything other than what you were about to do as part of that [00:34:00] deeply ingrained pattern. Anything, just not that, you know? So sometimes it's actually best to swing hard in the other direction, just so you can see for yourself that the result isn't necessarily better or worse than the one you were getting.

For instance, one of the common pieces of advice for type 1s is to use the word, uh, Who want to be perfect and follow the rules is to intentionally break a rule and not just a rule that you think is stupid to begin with. Intentionally break a rule and do something bad. Not a murder. Don't do that. But there's a lot in between.

So do it with full consciousness that that's what you're doing. What you may find, and what I've found is that it doesn't really change all that much about the world, and that can sort of break the spell that we create for ourselves as one that says that, oh, it's up to me to make everything work perfectly.

I have to control all of the things. I have to control [00:35:00] my urges completely. If the world is not gonna spin off its access.

But you have to disprove that. So I can do a bad thing here and there just because it's a little fun, and it doesn't drive me as crazy when I see other people aren't doing exactly what I believe to be the right thing. So that's a nice result. And listen, this can be something small. Like, ooh, I didn't wipe down the gym equipment after I worked out.

Ooh. Right? But try something that's contradictory to your initial pattern. Okay? Whatever your type, whatever your initial impulse, try doing the opposite just to see that things can still work out. And then step five. Okay? Bye. Ready? Do all of those steps over and over and over again until you die. Forever?

Claire, you want me to practice these five steps forever? Yeah, it's called changing practices. You've been doing particular practices your [00:36:00] whole life, but calling them the way things gotta be. So now all we're doing is replacing those faulty practices that got you into burnout with new ones. that are healthier and support your freedom and well being.

Over time, and if you maintain these new practices, they will start to feel nearly as natural as the old ones, but with way better results. Now you may be asking, is this really the solution? Are these five steps really how I get out of burnout? And the answer is yes, absolutely. I know that seems like a big promise, and I don't usually make promises that big, but for this I will.

It'll take time, no doubt. It may not take years to get out of burnout, and it's going to be little by little that you get there. But you will get there if you start to question these practices and follow these five steps that are just sort of the process. So you will get out of burnout. It'll take time and it will [00:37:00] also take support.

That's important. It's almost impossible to get yourself out of burnout without support from other people. But we burn out on life at that time. Deep core spiritual level when we cling too hard to beliefs that are just plain lies. These beliefs worked for us at some point to help us survive, but they're smothering the life out of us and keeping us from thriving.

Over time, that will burn you the heck out. The problem is the armor. I would rather see you go too far, see you running around naked, metaphorically speaking, than to wear all this armor and continue to keep it on.

We do have to adjust to some of the painful realities of life when we start to take that armor off piece by piece. But good God, does it feel amazing to be free of it. If you've experienced one of these moments, and most of you have, where you've deconstructed a belief and realized that life was just much better once you did that, [00:38:00] you know why this is worth the pain of doing it.

You know why I spend hours every week putting this podcast together for zero dollars? To help people avoid things like burnout. And if you're in burnout, I want to help you find your way back in such a robust way that you're less likely to end up there again.

Because I genuinely believe that this world is better for everyone when we take our armor off and stop pretending that life is a joust. It's a hell of a lot more than that. Thank God. So if you're wondering. What if I'm in burnout? My answer is that you're positioned for one of two things. You can either try a superficial adjustment and wonder why it's not working or you can finally be honest with yourself that your ego armor has dragged you down.

The scariest thing is pulling off some of those pieces of armor, but do it. Do it. It's scary, but you [00:39:00] can do it. I've gone through it myself. Now, you may not be able to do it alone, so if that's your expectation, get that out of your head. You need support, but more importantly, you deserve support. So this may look like friends supporting you.

It may look like a tough conversation with your spouse, where you tell them about your needs or ask if you can temporarily quit your job that you hate and try something new. And yes, burnout comes from mental and emotional patterns, but it also has a very real effect on your body. Similarly, if you have an unaddressed issue in your body, like maybe you're going through paramenopause or menopause or you have an undiagnosed illness or anything chronic, anything like that is going to intensify your existing mental and emotional patterns.

So maybe you need to go see a doctor. Maybe that's part of this recovery process. But figure out what support you need. Maybe it's asking someone, Hey, I'm actually too burned out to figure out what I need. Can you help me figure out that first [00:40:00] step? That's fine too. There is a path forward. A path forward that will last for a meaningful amount of time.

So it's up to you. Are you ready for the challenge? I promise it's worth the pain. Thanks for listening to this episode of What If for Authors. I'm really glad you stuck with it. And if you have any questions about this complex topic, you can reach out to me at contact@ffs.media. We can set up something to get more into the individualized nitty gritty of your particular situation.

Thanks for joining me. I hope you'll join me for the next episode. Happy writing.

Episode 24: What if I have too much to do?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If For Authors, Claire dives into a dilemma nearly every author—and person—faces: having too much to do. Drawing from her own experience of hitting a breaking point with an overpacked schedule, Claire reflects on the deeper reasons behind our tendencies to take on too much. She explains how our Enneagram type, cultural overlays, and fears contribute to the overwhelming cycle of busyness, and offers insights into how we can reclaim control by embracing limitations and being intentional about what we choose to let go.

Key Takeaways:

• The Overwhelming Cycle of Too Much To Do: Claire shares a personal story of burnout and explains how she realized that it was time to start intentionally letting people down. Instead of just saying no to new projects, she had to go back and say no to things she had already committed to.

• Cultural Overlays and Enneagram Types: Claire discusses the concept of cultural overlays in the Enneagram and how societal expectations, like those found in capitalism or specific community dynamics, can influence our behaviors. When our Enneagram type aligns with these cultural overlays, it can make it harder to break the cycle of busyness.

• The Lies We Tell Ourselves About Busyness: Many of us equate busyness with productivity or worth, when in reality, being busy is often a way to avoid confronting our fears, limitations, or mortality. Claire explains how these lies manifest differently for each Enneagram type, but ultimately keep us from living a meaningful life.

• The Power of Doing Less: Claire argues that doing fewer things can actually make each task more meaningful and impactful. By acknowledging our limitations and making intentional choices, we can create a more fulfilling life and career.

• Practical Steps to Reclaim Control: Claire challenges listeners to look at their calendars and identify at least one thing that they will choose not to do—not something they’ll reschedule, but something they’ll intentionally remove to make space for more important things. She encourages a mindset shift from trying to do everything to intentionally choosing what matters.

Why You Should Listen: If you’ve ever felt overwhelmed by your to-do list, this episode will resonate with you. Claire not only addresses why we end up doing too much, but also provides insights into how to break the cycle of endless busyness. Whether you're an author struggling to balance writing with life or anyone caught in the trap of "hustle culture," this episode will provide you with actionable steps to start reclaiming your time.

Join the Conversation: What tasks do you find yourself taking on that don’t actually need to be done? Share your experiences with Claire by emailing contact@ffs.media or connecting on social media.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

Claire: [00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If For Authors. I'm so glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram certified coach for authors, as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs.media/sustain. I experienced this very poignant moment last year when I was sitting at my desk in my office, uh, looking back and forth between my double booked Google calendar and my Kanban board with way too many post it notes in the doing section.

It occurred to me that what I was trying to accomplish was, in fact, literally impossible. Emotionally, it felt like I was letting everyone down. I wasn't seeing my friends enough, I wasn't spending enough time with my dog, who I knew was in the final few months of her life, I'd been neglecting basically every home responsibility, and I was still, somehow, two weeks behind on my writing.

[00:01:00] I was tapped, y'all. Finally, I heard myself admitting what felt like defeat, but also was like a huge relief. It was time to start letting people down. That's what I realized. Honestly, I'd probably already been letting people down, or maybe that was just a story I was telling myself since my standards tend to be way higher than what anyone would ever expect of me, but it was time for me to take back control and be intentional with who I was going to let down.

This didn't just mean putting up boundaries where I say no to any new projects, right? This wasn't just, I'm not going to take any more new projects on. This meant going back and saying no to projects that I'd already agreed to and begun working on. I knew it was going to be painful, but to be honest, life was already pretty painful in that moment with trying to juggle all the shit that [00:02:00] for whatever reason I'd assumed that I had the superhuman abilities to pull off without a problem. It was, it was painful to have to reach out to people and say, Hey, this thing I agreed to, I won't be doing it any longer.

But it wasn't nearly as painful as I thought it would be. As it turned out, most of the fear of how painful it would be was all in my head. Because Everyone understands what it's like to be completely overwhelmed. This is unfortunately a very shared experience. So the people I had to reach out to, they could by and large relate.

A lot of people were impressed that I was even saying no to things that I'd already agreed to. Some people voiced that they felt inspired to do the same. And of course, not everyone was super thrilled that I was dumping some of my responsibilities, but it still felt so good for me to do that. I was able to see with some clarity that their [00:03:00] feelings about it were not an additional responsibility I needed to take on.

Despite my resistance and fear prior to letting people down in an intentional way, I found that life was so much more improved on the other side of it that I've made this a practice. Now listen, I haven't mastered the art of reasonable workload by any means. , My pattern of workaholism, or my many patterns of workaholism, are still very present and something that I have to keep a really close eye on.

But going through that process last year taught me a valuable lesson about how much work I take on, how much work other people take on, and how there simply is, by every definition, too much fucking work to do. That's why in this week's episode, we're going to ask the question that I think everyone will relate to, and there's not much that everyone relates to in this world.

But if there [00:04:00] is, this would be it. And that's the question of, what if I have too much to do?

I understand that this is more of an I have too much to do rather than a what if, since we're all trying to do too much all the time. You may not think that you are, but I can almost guarantee that you are.

And I'll tell you why throughout this episode, and how your patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving are getting you back into the same mess over and over again. Whether or not you listen to me and decide to push through the pain by being intentional about letting others down, that's totally up to you.

But I'm gonna spell it out for you.

There's this thing in the Enneagram called overlays, it's a concept, these are sort of cultural values associated with a particular type that we tend to take on by osmosis just as a matter of being part of that culture. So when I say cultures, I can mean, , culture of our family of origin, the school we went to, our religious groups, or even the country we live [00:05:00] in.

So it's interesting to ask ourselves how we're relating to these overlays, or the context in which we live. If one of the overlays is the same type as your Enneagram type, there are certain challenges that go along with that, that other types won't face. So, for example, the U. S. has a Type 3 Achiever overlay in many ways. Predominantly, capitalism is a Type 3 system that rewards people for what they produce, which is what the Type 3 Achievers love to do, to create things.

Achievers love to create. tend to love playing the game of capitalism because they are designed in such a way that they tend to be the best at it. But if you've read Sustain Your Author Career, you probably know that this is one of those stupid games with stupid prices that we all engage in. There is no end or finish line to the game of capitalism.

Just to continue this example, um, as we can see quite plainly in the people who seem to be winning it, the billionaires who no longer actually need to [00:06:00] think about the amount of money they have in terms of what it will do for their security and meeting their needs. But the idea of giving up the game of making more would require those people to sit and consider what else there is to life, which is one of the scariest things available to us as a pastime.

So instead they just try to win the game even more and get more money. They want to be the richest, right? Because what else is there? Right. And I'm not trying to rag on threes here by any means. Not every billionaire is a three, not everyone engaging in capitalism is a three, obviously. , it just so happens that if you are living in a capitalist system and you're a three, the hollow rewards that you think will make you happy are readily available.

and you're the best at getting them, which means you're the most likely to get stuck in this particular design of hamster wheel. Now, in say, a religious community that may have a type one overlay, the ones are going to be best at that game, [00:07:00] but the game tends to be performing righteousness, also known as self righteousness, which does not actually make the one feel like they're already good and perfect.

Instead, it feeds the insecurity that they may not be good or that they're only good if they're the best. good person in the community. So those are just a few examples of how our overlays play into things of our dominant type. , our Enneagram type also happens to match the overlay of the culture. Now, if our dominant type doesn't match the overlay, it's not uncommon to see people try to play the game anyway.

But they don't tend to win and they burn out. So this may seem like a bad thing, but it's often the first step toward liberating yourself from this game, right? You're sort of unplugging from the matrix. Because if you can't win the game, you're more likely to stop trying to play.

You're more likely to go, okay, what else could there be besides this? [00:08:00] And we know, hopefully by now, how important of a question that is. So if you're living under a capitalist system, and also living under an overlay of righteousness, like some sort of moral or ethical based group, and it doesn't have to be religious, it could be an activist group of any kind.

And if you're living in a society with a lot of polarization that encourages people to be, you know, in one group or the other, and sort of fanatics, then if you're not careful, you'll take on some of that three energy, some of that one energy, and some of that six energy, the Achiever, the Reformer, and the Loyalist.

Each of those is very encouraging for, uh, doing a lot and not letting the group down. The three overlay will encourage you to believe that your worth is wrapped up in the tasks you can cross off your list and the amount of deliverables you produce. The one overlay will likely make you feel like you have to die on every hill.

You have to take, have [00:09:00] an opinion, a hard, fast opinion on everything. And you have to have high standards in what you do and aim to make it as close to perfect as possible and never ever be an irresponsible person. And the sixth overlay will intensify some of those feelings of responsibility that the one has while also shifting your ideas of duty and service.

So you can see how all of that is a recipe for taking on too much. But even without those three particular overlays, each type has a reason why it doesn't want to admit that there are limitations to what we can do on a daily, yearly, and lifetime basis. If you've ever read 4000 Weeks Time Management for Mortals by Oliver Berkman, you're probably already familiar with this concept of how humans hate to face their own mortal limitations.

I've been rereading that book lately, just, you know, a few minutes here and there, with a pen, underlining the absolute shit out of it. , and while I don't disagree with any of the points he makes, [00:10:00] frankly, it's rare to find a book that I don't disagree with the points, I think they could actually be even further refined and clarified for people to see how your particular core fear It's keeping you from admitting that you have limitations, and that it's okay, and that life actually feels fuller when you agree to do less.

So, this is something I've certainly found in my own life. You've probably found it moment to moment here and there in your own life, But still this truth is one of those things that's so good and so delicious that you've gotta share it with other people once you try it. Also, like half of the coaching I do for authors lately is just begging them to admit that they're trying to do too much, and that they don't actually have to do that much.

To have a full life and a successful author career,

most of the tasks we do in a day. are designed to trick us into feeling positively about ourselves. So, [00:11:00] 1s will stay busy to feel responsible and to believe that they're doing all they can. 2s will stay busy to feel like they're needed. 3s will stay busy to feel like they're productive and successful.

Fours will stay busy to keep life feeling complicated and mistaking that for it being meaningful. Fives stay busy to convince themselves that they're competent and capable enough to handle all the things. Sixes stay busy to convince themselves they're prepared and reliable. Sevens stay busy to prove to themselves they're fun and interesting.

Eights stay busy to prove to themselves that they're strong. And nines stay busy to prove to themselves that they're connected with a lot of different things in this world. Now, the flip side of what we're trying to prove is, what are we trying to avoid by staying busy? What thoughts and feelings are we trying to hold off with our overwhelming and unrealistic [00:12:00] amount of action that we're expecting of ourselves?

So let's drill down into this a little bit, and this is gonna maybe cut deep for some of us, but we need to cut deep to carve out some of the bullshit that we are asking of ourselves that are making us tired all the time. So we're gonna do, hopefully, a minimally invasive surgery on ourselves with this.

Okay, so let's start with the nines, the peacemakers. Sometimes Nines can fall into lethargy and inaction, sure, but I do see plenty of nines who take a lot of action. It's just not necessarily meaningful, and it doesn't move the needle forward. This is often driven by the nine's fear of conflict, and it looks like a pattern of recognizing urgency.

If I don't do this, there will be conflict very soon, right? It's urgent. Urgent action is needed to avoid conflict. So the Nine falls into their defense mechanism of narcotization through a [00:13:00] trance of busyness, putting out fire after fire. If this Nine has not learned to say no when someone asks them to do something, Then they're so preoccupied with urgency that they haven't left themselves any time or space to think about what's important.

Looking at importance is scary for nines because it requires them to actually assess what they want and desire out of life. Something that a lot of nines don't like to think about because it might put them in conflict with what other people want and desire out of life. So instead, You nines may be opting to make yourself feel very busy by doing a lot of urgent things, making sure there's always something urgent to keep you occupied.

You can see how this cycle would continue indefinitely if not interrupted with a little bit of awareness. Sometimes people don't think that they're nines. People who are nines don't think that they're nines because they're so busy. They think they're threes or ones because so much of their busyness is [00:14:00] focused on maybe caring for other people.

When you pop the hood, you may realize that the reason these nines are so busy is a fear of conflict that might arise from saying no and a fear of pausing to look at importance rather than just urgency. So some nines check out by playing video games for hours and some check out by going through the motions of putting out fires.

I'll be really honest with you eights, you challengers. A lot of why you have too much to do is because you're pushing back against the reality of your own mortality. Nothing threatens to control your life more than the fact that it will end someday. And there's nothing you can do about that. But there's no amount of forcing it that will change the fact.

That death will someday harm and control you. There's no amount of being strong and independent that will bend that reality to your will. So ask [00:15:00] yourself how much you're taking on to try and convince yourself that maybe if you get enough practice on the battleground, you'll be able to avoid that final loss.

Okay, sevens, you're doing too much because your fear of missing out has taken the reins. The vulnerability of the seven is limitation. It's the thing that you enthusiasts build your whole life around avoiding if you aren't mindful. So even if you are mindful, you've probably built your whole life around it because it's really hard to negate those patterns if you're not yet aware that they are the blueprints for how you're building your life.

The problem with FOMO is that it brings our attention away from what is and shifts it in a bunch of different directions toward what could be or what isn't in that moment. On some level you believe that this will protect you from missing out on things, but what it actually does is keep you from [00:16:00] experiencing anything truly and deeply enough to achieve real satisfaction.

The only thing that can ever bring you satisfaction is the present moment. You may get a hit of dopamine from planning future things or thinking of new possibilities, but satisfaction isn't just adding up a bunch of dopamine hits. It requires being present, having gratitude, and recognizing the fullness of what is.

So all those projects you have going on, all those big plans, those are probably a reaction to this fear of limitations. And they're not working for you. If you ever want satisfaction, you have to do less, not more. Sevens.

Type six, the loyalist, tends to have their focus flow toward what could go wrong. If you're a six and you don't know this yet, the other types don't spend as much time thinking about what could go wrong and trying to create a contingency for it to avoid having it happen. This belief that if you [00:17:00] prepare enough, bad things won't happen.

It can leave you very busy in your author career and beyond. You'll end up doing too much because for every contingency plan that you believe worked to stop something bad from happening, how many plans did you put into place that were useless and that you didn't end up needing? How many courses did you take?

How many opinions from experts did you go seek out before you allowed yourself to take a single action? Your plate is going to fill up very quickly if that pattern is showing up in your life, if you're over preparing for every contingency, if you notice that you're seeking guidance constantly hoping that some crumb of knowledge will be the thing that saves you from having to take a risk, you have my complete and total permission to stop playing that game.

That has no end.

Type fives, the investigators, you may not think that your life is going to fill up because you really like your alone time and you set good boundaries with other people, [00:18:00] but there's still a strong chance that you are doing too much, that you've created too much work for yourself to do. This work may look like the research you feel you must do before you can begin your writing.

But that's still doing too many things and doing. Too many of those particular kind of individual tasks, it's very likely that you're not leaving much energy for doing things outside of those pursuits. The kind of things that fives require for growth, like connecting with others rather than isolating.

Your fear of being incompetent. Or incapable is very likely driving you to add too many things to your life to prove to yourself that you can handle it all.

Type four is the individualists. Y'all may feel like you're overwhelmed much of the time, and then look at the reality of what you're doing each day and feel like it doesn't quite. match up. So if you're a four, ask yourself where your fear that your life is [00:19:00] insignificant or lacking meaning may be causing you to conflate complexity with meaning.

So just because you're making every task more complex doesn't necessarily mean that the tasks are more meaningful. It just means that you're going to get overwhelmed much quicker. I see this happening with fours and their writing. This need to be the most original, the most creative, the most unique can sometimes make the task of writing a book seem out of reach simply because things that could be both meaningful and simple are now being made complicated.

Fours, ask yourself where making what you're currently doing simpler could, in fact, make it more meaningful as you're able to be present with it and not so worried about whether or not it reflects your significance in this world.

Type three, the achievers y'all are absolutely doing too much out of a fear [00:20:00] that a lack of accomplishment equates to a lack of worth as a human being. I don't think I've met type three author who wasn't doing way more than they needed to create a successful career.

The problem may not be that the three's books aren't selling. It may be that their attention flows toward the fact that someone else's books are selling more. I'm also hard pressed to find a three who doesn't believe the lie that if they're just effective enough, if they just find the right time management system or hack, they can do all these things and more.

It's this Misguided belief that the problem of having too many things to do in a day is not that the three is running on adrenaline from feeling like they're falling short and failing, but that they just need to be more efficient. This doesn't address the underlying question of what the hell it's actually for.

And if it's truly achieving that aim. It's also [00:21:00] common for threes to begin to equate the feeling of exhaustion with the lifestyle of a successful person while at the same time trying to appear as if the whole thing is not that strenuous. So I see that with threes a lot wanting to be seen as a hard worker and recognized for it, wanting to be acknowledged for how much work they're doing and how much they're accomplishing and how much they're sacrificing outside of their projects to get the projects done.

While also hoping to make it look effortless. If you're a three and you're trying to walk this line between the two ideas, guess what? You can stop trying. The problem has never been that you aren't effective enough with your time and processes. That's not why you're feeling overwhelmed. It's not your lack of effectiveness.

Your type is often called the effective person because you have a gift for finding the most effective way to do things. So that's not the problem. The problem is that you're on a treadmill and when the pace starts to feel comfortable, [00:22:00] you increase the speed. Pretending like you could eventually run a hundred miles an hour if you just believed in yourself and found the right training regimen.

So consider where you've started to equate action and doing things with being worthy. That's obviously a false equivalency and you may notice a lot of really interesting insights there if you start poking around at it. Now type two, the helper, ends up with too many things to do simply because of a lack of boundaries.

Whereas the nine tends to struggle to say no because they don't want conflict, the two struggles to say no because if they aren't actively helping someone, they worry that they're not. Earning the love they could be. This of course comes from the false belief that you could ever earn enough love through service to match your need for unconditional love.

And of course, the first thing that goes undone on a Tuesday daily schedule is anything for themselves rather than for other people. Every two I [00:23:00] know is trying to do too much. Like an impossible amount. So, your pride is gonna tell you that you can somehow pull it off if you just care enough and are willing to self sacrifice enough.

But what if that's a bunch of bullshit? What if? What if that's just a lie? What if you can't do all of it? And is neglecting your own deep desire to get your work done actually showing yourself? Unconditional love, or are you depriving yourself of love by doing that?

So if you're a two, doing less is going to scare the shit out of you because you'll go through appreciation withdrawal. People who are used to you doing things for them, they may act scandalized. They may even imply that you are being selfish. But if you ever want to create something meaningful in your career, You gotta figure out who those entitled people are as quickly as possible and [00:24:00] stop doing things for them so that they can learn to do those things themselves.

That is often what true help looks like. And that's the only way you're gonna start feeling less overwhelmed. Okay, type one, the reformer. I talked a little bit about why you may be doing too much, uh, through my own story, but it's really important to break the cycle. By looking at where you've equated being good with being tired, miserable, and depriving yourself of joy.

So if you're a one, you don't have to put the ethic in work ethic. Who says there's anything moral about chasing perfection? It's a fool's game. The fear of the one is being bad or corrupt and the vulnerability is criticism. So how much of what you do each day is simply in hopes of avoiding criticism from others or trying to just silence your inner critic?

Anything you're doing To avoid [00:25:00] criticism should be scrutinized very closely to see if it's actually contributing to the impact of your work or if it's wasting your damn time.

So all of us become overwhelmed with too many things to do because our fears, which function on this illogical logic and promise us things that we could never truly achieve, are really spurring us on. Our fears tell us lies that we could. Avoid the normal pain of being mortal and living a life knowing that death is around the corner for all of us But we can't avoid that Inevitably, we will have to face it So these lies promise us refuge from the reality that any day could be our last It's kind of sweet and kind the way these lies We tell ourselves about our capacity to do it all the way they're trying to protect us You It certainly comes from a place of good intentions or so I like to believe, but [00:26:00] lies are lies. The number of maneuvers we will pull to avoid looking reality in the face, looking our limitations in the face, and then experiencing the pain that is necessary to leave space in our lives instead of trying to fill all of it, those maneuvers are quite astounding.

If you are deciding to reclaim control over your life, if you want to do fewer things and have fewer things on your plate day to day, unfortunately, you got to stop running from that fear. Turn around and face it. You have to accept that there are painful parts of life that are not worth escaping or avoiding.

Because on the other side of that pain, you get something so much richer and deeper. On the other side of that pain is where you start building a meaningful life in the present, not lamenting one in the past through nostalgia or regret or planning [00:27:00] one in the future, but building one every day. In the present

easily half of the things you do in your life don't actually need to be done at least half of the emails you're responding to may not require a response and the world will not fall apart if you just delete them and when you're responding to those emails. What more meaningful thing are you neglecting?

We're so scared of the trade off that we will lie to ourselves and say there is no trade off. That we are somehow above the reality that every time we're here in this moment, there's an infinite number of other places where we are not.

We're all trying to do too many things because we're all lying to ourselves. So if you're wondering, what if I have too much to do? The answer is that you've created this by letting your fear lie to you, telling you that there's a way to [00:28:00] avoid the essential pain of mortality. You've let your fear take the wheel and drive you to this place, but you can take back the wheel by facing the pain of knowing that you won't do all the things you want to do, or that will help trick you into believing you have infinite time on this earth. It's within your power to begin facing this pain and to begin disappointing not only others, but yourself in important ways that make the things you do each day actually carry meaning because you've chosen to do those things at the cost of others.

Doing less makes each thing you do matter more. And that can scare the shit out of a lot of us because then we have to consider what meaning we want to create in our life. Our short and finite life.

We don't have an infinite number of books we get to write. Writing a book we don't [00:29:00] care much about means not writing a book that we do care about. Spending time on social media means not spending time in person with our friends and family. Taking that marketing course means not sitting by a lake and thinking deep thoughts about life.

We can only use busyness and overwhelm as a tool to avoid these choices for so long before it catches up with us. Before the lies really start to wear thin, and we start to get glimmers of the reality of our limited time on earth. But we do have a choice in this, and that's The great news, the terrifying and great news.

And I know that you are up to the task of making those choices.

So that's it for this week's episode of What If for Authors. Thanks for joining me, and I hope the time you spent listening to this episode and not doing every other thing was worth it for you. If you're ready for a challenge, look at your calendar [00:30:00] for the rest of the day and pick one thing that just will not be done.

Not something that you'll bump to a later date to make future you more overwhelmed, but something you will not do now or ever. See if you can find something. I bet you can.

Maybe don't make it be something like I'm never going to pick up my kids from school this afternoon, but I'm sure there's something that doesn't need to be done that's on your calendar. Because that's what we do. We put things on our calendars that don't need to be done. So human, so classically human.

Alright, I'm Claire Taylor, and I hope you'll join me next time for a brand new episode. Happy writing!

Episode 23: What if I've been scammed?

Episode Description:

In this episode of What If for Authors, Claire Taylor tackles a difficult and often painful reality for many authors: the feeling of being scammed or taken advantage of. Whether it's an outright scam or a subtler instance where you’ve overpaid for a service, many authors will experience some version of this during their careers. Claire explores how these situations arise, what it feels like when you realize you’ve been scammed, and how authors can manage their responses to these events.

This episode is not just about identifying scams, but also about the emotional and psychological impact of feeling scammed, especially the patterns of cynicism and distrust that can emerge as a result. Claire offers Enneagram-specific insights into how each type is likely to respond to being scammed or taken advantage of and provides practical advice on how to process these feelings and move forward in a healthier way.

Key Takeaways:

• The Reality of Scams in the Publishing Industry: Claire discusses the various forms of scams and exploitation that authors, especially those early in their careers, might encounter. From paying exorbitant fees for services that should cost far less, to outright scams guaranteeing bestseller status, Claire explains why these situations happen and how authors can protect themselves.

• Feeling Scammed vs. Being Scammed: Whether or not there was malicious intent, the feeling of being scammed can still have a significant emotional impact. Claire explains that the focus of this episode is on how you feel when you believe someone has taken advantage of you, and why it’s important to address those feelings, regardless of the scammer’s intent.

• Common Patterns by Enneagram Type: Claire breaks down how each Enneagram type is likely to react when scammed, offering valuable insight into the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that may emerge. Whether it’s the anger of Type 1, the shame of Type 2, or the withdrawal of Type 5, understanding these patterns can help authors recognize and manage their emotional responses.

• How to Regain Trust Without Cynicism: After experiencing a scam, many authors find it hard to trust again. Claire offers tips for how to rebuild trust in others and set boundaries without becoming overly defensive or cynical. She explains how taking the time to reflect on past experiences and the lessons learned can help authors make more informed decisions moving forward without shutting themselves off from opportunities.

• Practical Advice for Avoiding Scams: Claire offers practical steps authors can take to protect themselves from scams in the future. From doing research and asking for recommendations to learning the basics of the publishing industry, these tips can help authors avoid the most common traps.

Why You Should Listen: This episode is essential for any author who has ever felt scammed or taken advantage of in their career. Claire provides not only empathy and validation but also practical tools to help you move through the emotional fallout of these situations. By exploring the Enneagram-specific patterns that can arise when we feel betrayed or scammed, she offers tailored advice for how to navigate these experiences without becoming overly cynical or defensive in the future.

Join the Conversation: Have you ever felt like you’ve been scammed or taken advantage of in your author career? How did you handle it? What lessons did you learn? Share your thoughts by emailing Claire at contact@ffs.media. If you need personalized support or a space to process your feelings, consider reaching out for one-on-one coaching.

Happy Writing!

TRANSCRIPT:

[00:00:00] Welcome back to another episode of What If for Authors. I'm so glad you're here. My name's Claire Taylor and I'm an Enneagram Certified Coach for Authors as well as a humor and mystery writer. You can check out my latest book, Sustain Your Author Career, by going to ffs media/sustain.

Today's topic is one that, unfortunately, most if not all authors will experience at some point in their careers.

And if you experience it once, the anxiety about it happening again is naturally going to increase. I'm actually tempted to say that everyone who decides to publish books will experience what I'm talking about today because I don't know of anyone in my own anecdotal experience who hasn't at one time or another felt like they'd been scammed.

So that's why today we're going to jump straight into this very important topic and ask the question, What if I've been scammed?

It's important to note for the [00:01:00] discussion today that it actually doesn't matter. If you've objectively been scammed, what matters is that you feel like you've been scammed, that you believe someone has taken advantage of you. Did they do it intentionally? It's incredibly difficult to pass a verdict on that, so I don't really see the point of trying to litigate their intention.

The part of the scenario that's ours to deal with is how we feel about feeling scammed. To look at this from another angle, what if someone scams you and you never find out that it was a scam? Is it a problem if you don't know about it? I would argue that if you don't realize you've been scammed, then it's unlikely that being scammed has affected your approach to your author career at all.

There was no lesson to learn. When people realize they've been scammed or believe they have been, that's when the cynicism starts to creep in and we find various ways [00:02:00] to armor up against having it happen again. That's really what I want to talk about today, that armoring up.

Unfortunately, there are a lot of straight up scams out there that prey on authors. The reason these work so damn well and can stick around for so long is because there are always new people who want to publish a book. Not only that, but publishing a book is the kind of pursuit that you do with your hopes and dreams galore behind it.

So that makes us Much more likely to buy bullshit from people who are selling it. People tend to get scammed earlier in their careers because they simply don't know how the industry works. Which makes sense. If you don't have experience, you don't know. So if someone says, hey, pay me 10, 000 and I'll make your book a bestseller, this newbie author maybe doesn't necessarily see all the red flags.

In that interaction, [00:03:00] like guaranteeing a bestseller result, not specifying which bestseller list, and the fact that money should always flow from the publisher to the author, not the other way around. These are just things that you learn over time. Being an author. And until you learn it, scammers are going to scam.

I do know quite a few authors who have been taken advantage of this way. It takes everything, everything inside of me, not to ask them to please just give me a name, just give me a name. Who did it? Just give me an eight. And then, you know, spend the next few months of my life seeking revenge. I swear, sometimes I feel so eight ish when I see my friends taken advantage of.

The, the eight really comes out of me, um, in situations like that. But I just can't stand when someone is taking advantage of the goodwill of someone else. It just, oof, it just gets to me. [00:04:00] Anyway. This happening though, someone preying on someone else in this industry, it's unfortunately just part of the ecosystem of our industry.

Do I think that makes it okay? No. Would I like for there to be less of it? Of course. But if you zoom out, it probably will always be a part of the ecosystem of this industry. So that's the obvious kind of scam that takes place. But there are subtler ways of being taken advantage of as an author that are much more commonplace.

So if you find yourself involved in one of these situations, you're also likely to feel scammed or taken advantage of, right? So these are things like paying companies thousands of dollars for services, like formatting your book and uploading it to retailers. And then realizing that's something you could have learned to do for yourself for about under 500 bucks, right?

It could look like hiring a cover designer who returns a big hunk of crap to you That was most likely done in word art [00:05:00] Or it could look like, you know paying someone for a service and they keep pushing back the delivery date Until you wonder if they're ever going to deliver, you may even feel scammed.

If you pay a lot for a course on something like writing or marketing, and you don't feel like the content you got was worth the money. So the definition of scammed is going to vary a lot from person to person. And some people are quicker to call something a scam than others.

I think it's interesting for each of us to note about ourselves how quickly we jump to the word scam when the other person may not have had any ill intent. And then some of us may be very slow to use the word scam, even when every other person who's aware of the situation is pretty damn sure that there was ill intent behind it.

A couple of reasons come to mind for why people have different thresholds before they will use the word scam. For one, admitting that someone has scammed you can make you [00:06:00] feel foolish or vulnerable. You may not want to feel that way about yourself, so you avoid the word as long as possible. Or you jump to it very quickly, right, because this is something you don't want to feel, and then you use that to justify getting some sort of revenge or payback.

People may also be slow to use the word because once you realize you've been scammed, it sort of calls for action.

Maybe that's trying to get your money back, maybe it's alerting others, or maybe it's just re evaluating some of your other connections and transactions to see if you've been scammed in a similar way without seeing it.

Realizing you've been scammed and then taking action on it can be a lot of work, and it can really upend our plans and our progress and our career. Not to mention, it's just the beginning. It's goddamn disappointing to realize, isn't it?

So I do just want to reassure you that I don't know of a single person [00:07:00] who has not felt taken advantage of in this industry at some point. If you're farther along in your career right now, it's unlikely that you're going to fall for one of those offers where you pay a publisher thousands of dollars and they market your book and so on.

What you're more likely to encounter is hiring, say, a virtual assistant who is great about invoicing you monthly, but not so great about getting the work done consistently or by the deadlines. Or maybe you're hiring an editor who delivers your manuscript with almost no edits and you wonder how much attention they actually gave to it for the money you paid.

Or maybe there's a collaborator you're sharing with who isn't holding up their end of the workload. So the feeling of being taken advantage of is similar to being scammed. So I feel like we could lump it in for the purpose of this episode. Realizing that you've been scammed or taken advantage of is one of the most disruptive feelings around.

The implicit social contract has been [00:08:00] broken, and that can leave us very insecure about what to do next and who to trust. Almost immediately, we can start to see cynicism creep in as our beliefs about others begin to morph. We armor up with newer, updated beliefs so that we don't experience that same disruptive feeling again.

We may also institute some rules for ourself moving forward, like fire people faster, or Don't take any more recommendations from so and so, or don't hire a friend to do work for you. To be clear, you're absolutely free to create rules like this for you, and I think it shows that we're learning, which is always a positive.

the problems begin to arise when our rules are too general. Like, you can't trust anyone to do the work they say they'll do, so I might as well do it all myself. Even something like don't hire a friend might be too general. Maybe your friend was [00:09:00] just not the right person for the job, or maybe if you hire someone else you know, you simply need to set clearer expectations before jumping into the work.

Because being scammed really strikes at the social norms we believe the world worked by, it's very common for the rules we create afterward to be too broad and sweeping. We can armor up quite a bit. And very quickly so that we don't have to ever feel that pain and discomfort again. But if we can gain a little bit of awareness into what it looks like internally and what actions we may be likely to take externally when we feel like we've been scammed or taken advantage of, we have a much greater chance of noticing that these processes are happening.

We can call a timeout with ourselves to evaluate whether what we're thinking, feeling, and doing is actually appropriate to the situation and the outcomes we're hoping.

[00:10:00] So let's take a look at what these patterns of thinking, feeling, and behaving might look like after we've been scammed, depending on our Enneagram type. And these are general, so your mileage may vary, but see if you notice any of these things. If you can recall a time before when you were scammed or taken advantage of, where you started to see these patterns emerge.

Type 1, the reformer, is likely going to go very quickly to anger after being scammed. When you live your life considering what's fair and right, it's really easy to be blindsided when you discover that someone else is not equally considering those things and the way they conduct their business.

The anger is going to feel like righteous indignation because it will seem very clear that you are in the right since you were the one who was wronged. It's also going to be very tempting to launch a crusade against this person who scammed you, but I think [00:11:00] you already know that I do not suggest that approach.

Instead, notice how angry you are and, if you can, take a step back and see what generous assumptions you might have been missing about the other person. Where might the Agreed upon expectations for the work not have been as clear as you thought they were. So ones tend to carry around really high expectations of quality and on time deliverables as their default.

Whereas other types are simply considering other things. A little curiosity here will go a long way in turning down the volume on that anger so that you don't feel like your head's gonna explode if you don't launch into an action to punish the other party for their perceived wrongdoing. You may very well have been just straight up scammed, but I promise you that you will have a better relationship with yourself and with others that you work with if you don't turn this into a public trial.

[00:12:00] Also, think about how much time and energy you could lose on this that could be better spent on your writing. If you are a type two, the helper, you're probably going to be on the slower end of naming what's happening as being scammed or as being taken advantage of. Twos are one of the positive outlook types, and you're very good at compassion and extending the benefit of the doubt to someone else.

That comes naturally to you. So by the time you get around to accepting that you've been scammed, things may have gone pretty far, and your struggle with boundaries is probably going to come to an abrupt halt. By that, I mean, you're very likely going to drop a guillotine on the connection between you and that person.

Now, it may take you trying to help them a few times to deliver what they've promised before you accept that they either can't or won't deliver it.

It's not a bad impulse to help people be successful in upholding their end of a deal, [00:13:00] But your impulse to believe that fairness in an exchange always means that you give at least a little more than you receive might be part of the problem here. So this is likely to let things get pretty far before you pull the plug on the situation.

And of course when you pull it, it's pulled. You're done with them. But, for example, if you pay someone 500, you should get 500 worth of services in return. Not 400 and an excuse, not 300 and a really good excuse, but 500 worth of services. That's how business works.

Asking for what you need is difficult for you as a two, but this is a place to practice it before you get to the point where you want to burn the whole relationship down.

If you're a Type 3, the Achiever, getting scammed is going to feel a lot like failure. And for that reason, you're probably going to do everything in your power to try and turn it into some sort of win. But if someone is dead set on scamming you, there's only so much you can do to make it a [00:14:00] win.

We really don't want to slip into self deceit here as we attempt to deny the reality of the situation. So notice when you're trying to spin a situation of being scammed or taken advantage of into something that paints you in a positive light. That makes your ego feel a little bit better rather than a little bit worse.

Also notice your desire to hide that you've been scammed or taken advantage of to preserve your image of success. Preserving that image. That's a lot of effort spent on image creation when you could just say, Hey, this person scammed me and that's on them.

If you are a type four, the individualist, I'll give you a heads up that you're going to susceptible to anyone who seems to recognize your unique gifts. So anyone who makes you feel special is going to be attractive to you. And a lot of scammers know this, even if they don't know the Enneagram. So that can help you a lot.

Avoid the appeal of scammers to begin with, [00:15:00] but what happens when you inevitably get taken advantage of as we all do? Fours are really likely going to go into cynicism about humanity quick, fast, and in a hurry, right? This looks like people are bad at their core, they can't be trusted, so on and so forth.

Now those beliefs are designed to protect you, right? But what they do is they make you feel very alone and misunderstood. So when you start to notice these emotions coming up, the best thing you can do is reach out and connect with other people rather than withdraw into yourself emotionally. Your heart will need some extra tending, so be sure that you're looking for evidence to disprove your cynicism, not simply to reinforce it.

If you're a type 5, the investigator, being scammed is really going to trigger you, because it will make you feel like a fool, which is sort of your biggest fear. This is a very known trigger [00:16:00] of the five, feeling foolish. So no big deal, but this is the thing that you spend all that time and energy trying to avoid.

Your first impulse will probably be to withdraw and try to better understand the situation or sort of convince yourself in one way or another that you are smarter than them and that they didn't outsmart you. You're also likely to fall into a lot of intellectual cynicism. So notice when you're conceptualizing humanity to keep a safe distance from it, rather than going and gathering the robust evidence you need to form your opinions about who you are.

Whether or not an individual person can be trusted.

Try to remember that just because you were fooled doesn't mean you are a fool. If nothing else, you now have more information about the industry and how certain particular people work within it, which can help you make more informed decisions in the future.

Being scammed [00:17:00] is not an excuse to retreat into your castle and pull up the drawbridge behind you forever. It can be useful for learning lessons, and you love learning lessons if you're five, but just because you don't believe you are emotional doesn't mean that your emotions aren't over inflating the application of whatever rule you're coming up with.

Make sure that whatever lesson you're learning is granular enough, specific enough, that it doesn't lead to cynicism that continues to cut you off from the rest of the resources of the world.

If you are a type six, the loyalist, yeah, this is going to hurt. Being scammed is really going to hit those trust issues that you spend a lot of time trying to navigate. Very likely the person who scammed you will be a figure of authority as well, which hurts extra for a six. So let's say someone you trusted took advantage of you and you didn't see it coming.

That could very easily send you into [00:18:00] a series of questions about your own judgment. that can lead to this never ending pattern of doubt about who else can't be trusted, or how to vet someone before you trust them so that you can guarantee that this won't ever happen again. Your armor can get very thick very quickly as a six if you've been scammed, so just be careful.

Keep some awareness about that. Just because the person took advantage of you does not mean that everyone you trust is inevitably going to take advantage of you. So keep on the lookout for that individual instance turning into a projection on everyone. If you start to develop that cynical belief, What your attention will do is it will go toward, it will look for, and filter out anything that doesn't point to signs that someone has broken trust.

And that attention can become very oversensitive because it's activated by fear. So suddenly, people who you really trusted [00:19:00] are going to be sort of pinging that radar, um, and telling you that there are indicators that they can't be trusted. So quickly you may find yourself not really trusting anyone, including yourself.

And to be clear, that would not be a truthful assessment of the situation. Right? To say that no one can be trusted, including yourself, is not a truthful assessment. So if you notice that feeling creeping in, um, It might be time to take a beat and do things that regulate your nervous system, like deep breathing, going for a peaceful walk in nature, journaling, or even just distracting yourself with a TV show, so that those thoughts don't, you know, gain momentum.

Just make sure that the TV show isn't one where, like, everyone's betraying each other, right? Then, once you're feeling calmer, ask a friend who understands the industry. to help you deconstruct what happened and what some of the red flags might have been along the way. That [00:20:00] way you can better spot those and not conflate all the behavior of the scammer.

With betrayal. So even their benign behaviors that mean nothing could start to trigger suspicion in you if you don't take that time to deconstruct, if you're a type seven, the enthusiast, it's possible that the pain of being scammed is more than you care to deal with. So you move on from the situation before you take the time to learn the lesson it's asking you to learn.

The result of that is that you may be scammed in a similar way in the future. The pattern will just keep repeating until we learn from it. You are also what's called a positive outlook type, which means that in conflict, you can very quickly put a silver lining on something.

Now that's great for your resilience, but if you silver line being taken advantage of, then you're asking for a similar situation to come up in the future. So before you jump to that silver lining. Notice how uncomfortable it makes you to, to think [00:21:00] about how someone has betrayed or taken advantage of you and just sit with that until you can understand how it happened.

Maybe from that, create a rule for yourself so that you don't repeat the same pattern.

That rule could be something like if someone is putting pressure on me to buy an expensive product, that's a sign that I need to sleep on it before I buy the product. So creating these rules may be a new skill for you. So just feel free to ask someone else in the industry to help you deconstruct this, if that's what you need.

If you are a type eight, the challenger, one of your triggers is being blindsided. So being scammed would definitely fall into that territory. You tend to keep an eye out for anyone trying to take advantage of you as it is. So, there can definitely be a false sense of security that you have seen every threat there is.

That you are somehow immune from any vulnerability in that regard. So when someone slips through [00:22:00] and blindsides you and scams you or takes advantage of you, this is going to be a big deal for you. You're going to want to fight either physically or maybe verbally online. It's going to flare up that core fear of yours in a way that can really give you tunnel vision.

So knowing that this is one of your triggers is a great way to start maintaining control over your response. Thanks. Your desire is to maintain control of yourself, right? Be independent, not controlled or harmed by others. But when you get triggered and start wanting to burn down a village, that's a great example of losing control of yourself.

So if you genuinely want to stay within your own autonomy here, you must recognize this trigger and come up with a plan for regulating yourself before you launch right into action. A desire for revenge may present itself. And as I mentioned earlier, I am also familiar with this [00:23:00] pattern, but you don't have to listen to it.

So listening to it could take weeks of your life away from what you want to be doing with your writing career. That kind of sounds to me like the person who scammed you would still be in control of your time and energy. And I suspect that's the last thing you actually want.

If you are a type nine, the peacemaker, You're also going to be on the end of the spectrum where it takes you a very long time to admit that you're being scammed. The impulse of the nine to avoid conflict by saying, this is fine, everything's fine, is gonna catch up with you and cost you more money in the long run when it comes to being taken advantage of.

So listen to your gut early on if you're a nine. If it's giving you resistance when it comes to working with someone, take a moment to ask it why. It's easier for you to say no before you start working with someone than after you've begun working with them. So think about [00:24:00] going no and then yes. That's going to be easier for you than yes and then no.

It's really important early on that you check in with yourself and listen to those gut instincts of yours.

You are going to avoid anything that feels like conflict, even if that's demanding your money back from a scammer or someone taking advantage of you. But that doesn't mean that you are not. pissed off when you realize, and we both know that. So notice when you start to do mental maneuvers, like trying to see things from their point of view in the most generous way possible, simply to avoid Taking action that will lead to the necessary conflict that they have created through their actions.

Your ability to see the best in people and see things from their perspective is a gift, but if you don't use it in appropriate situations, it can become something that is used against you by someone who's [00:25:00] a scammer or wants to take advantage of you. So if you're tired of people taking advantage of you in big ways, but also small ways, start to notice When you are allowing it because the pain of allowing it is less than your fear of conflict.

That's the first step in deciding whether or not the conflict is actually as scary as it initially feels. No one is better at resolving conflict than a nine, so you might as well decide when it's time to go in. Just go in, because you will come up with a resolution that is is. roughly good for everyone.

If there is a resolution where everyone can come out with what they need, a nine is going to find it. So whatever your type, just begin to notice the patterns that arise for you. And when I'm talking about patterns, I'm talking about thoughts, feelings, and behaviors whenever it feels like someone is taking advantage of you or you're being scammed in your author career.

[00:26:00] It can be really helpful to retrace a time in your past when this happened because all of us have been taken advantage of before in our lives in one way or another. So think back to that time and from the safe distance of the present, try to retrace some of your steps. What did you immediately feel in that situation?

What were your thoughts? Did you try to do some mental gymnastics to avoid accepting that you'd been scammed? What kind of armor did you add after that interaction? Has that armor limited your movement in some important way, like making you more cynical so that you're less likely to trust others and ask for help in your author business?

So take a little time to just contemplate that and see if you can come up with anything interesting and new that gives you insight into how you as an individual respond to someone breaking social codes in that way. If you are wondering, what if I've been scammed, I would say, it's entirely possible [00:27:00] that it's happened to you, and we really don't want a victim blame here, so notice if you're feeling ashamed of having been conned.

Talk to yourself and remind yourself that this is practically a rite of passage of not just being an author, but being a human being, albeit an ugly and undesirable rite of passage. But remember that anyone you're likely to talk to about it will understand and have a similar experience to share, so you're not alone in it.

And then, note some of the possible reactions you'll have based on your Enneagram type, and notice if those have been things that you've experienced in the past. That can help you better recognize them in the future. And if you can recognize them, you can address the situation in a manner that feels appropriate to the situation and the scale of the perceived offense.

And then you can handle it, and then move on. And your career [00:28:00] keeps going on from there. You'll gain some insights from it, but you don't have to become cynical as a result. And then in the future, you will trust the right person.

And it might be the difference maker in your entire career. That's it for this episode of What If for Authors. Thanks for joining me. I'm Claire Taylor and I hope that you have a wonderful week and join me for the next episode. Happy writing.